I’ve been going through a [...]]]> A couple of days ago I got news that my Father is very ill. Without getting into all the family dirt here I’m just going to say I’m not very close to Dad. Our relationship has been on a steady course of deterioration since my parents divorce at age 9.

I’ve been going through a whole host of emotions upon hearing the news. I’ve cried, gotten angry, indifferent, you name it. Honestly, I don’t know what to feel but as I sift through all my emotional baggage you can be sure food has been a HUGE source of comfort.

Or has it?

I woke up this morning determined to get to the root of my massive overeating these past two days (and yes… I mean massive). You’d think I’d immediately recognize that it was tied to the news of my Father but I didn’t see it until this morning. That’s when I found a series of posts by Steven Stosny, Ph.D. I have never read anything that summarize and explained my eating habits and motivations so well.

He talks about emotional eating and says it’s no different then any other kind of eating. That what we really need to understand is core hurt eating and core value eating.

Core hurt eating tries to avoid feeling disregarded, unimportant, guilty, devalued, disrespected, rejected, powerless, inadequate, or unlovable. The connection between core hurts and high-energy, high-sensory food is irresistible. Core hurts cause pain and deplete energy; rapid eating of high sensory, high calorie food numbs pain and restores energy, for a few minutes.

…

In contrast, core value eating is an expression of self-value. Instead of focusing on what you cannot have, you focus on building more value in your life. It helps you to stop thinking so much about weight and food and start looking at yourself and others with more compassion. As you value yourself more, you automatically value your health and well being and learn to motivate yourself with “acts of kindness.”

His series of posts have really opened my eyes to why I overate so much in my teens and 20′s and why I “relapsed” these last couple of days. My Dad’s illness is stirring up feelings in me I’ve worked so hard to overcome. Now that he is sick I feel guilty yet my old feelings of unimportance, disregard, unloved, rejection, and basically everything on the core hurt list are still there. Hence….

Core hurt eating is always overeating; we know that as soon as we stop, core hurts will get worse and energy will vanish. So we don’t stop, until our bodies make us. If core hurts are severe, and the skill to regulate them is underdeveloped, overeating turns into “attacks on food,” making the food damaging rather than nourishing, an instrument of harm rather than a means of health and well being.

That makes total sense to me. I’ve had no desire to treat myself good these couple of days. Instead I’ve been rapidly eating “high sensory, high calorie food” to “numb pain and restore energy.”

The reason why Dr. Stosny’s posts hit so close to home for me wasn’t only for his explanation of core hurt but the core value as well. I always credit the birth of my son with my weight loss and now it makes perfect sense. Once I had a child I no longer felt those core hurt feelings. I was valued. I had purpose and power to teach this little person all that life had to offer him. I cut ties with my Father which in essence allowed me to heal and one of the results of that was weight loss. I need to repeat the core value eating because it’s exactly how I felt after Ryan was born…

…core value eating is an expression of self-value. Instead of focusing on what you cannot have, you focus on building more value in your life. It helps you to stop thinking so much about weight and food and start looking at yourself and others with more compassion. As you value yourself more, you automatically value your health and well being and learn to motivate yourself with “acts of kindness.”

WOW how powerful is that?

If you have ever related to me on the weight loss thing this series of posts is a MUST read. It may give you insight to uncover what’s really at the core of your own overeating. Note: the site does not do a good job of showing these posts are a series but you should really read them in order as I have listed.

1. Emotional Eating: All Diets are from Hell
2. Weight Management Myths
3. Why We Think Thin and Eat Fat
4. Core Value Eating

My favorite line in all those posts…

“You will not lose weight until you value yourself more.”

I couldn’t agree more.

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We went out for a last meal of sorts as I can eat after midnight before the surgery and it’s scheduled for 2:45PM! [...]]]> ..emotions that make me want to eat. Yup, like most of my recent out of whack days, today started off just fine and then, crash, boom, bash, I’m a stuffed pig.

We went out for a last meal of sorts as I can eat after midnight before the surgery and it’s scheduled for 2:45PM! That’s going to be one long hungry day!

I’m not sure if I ate too much because I was preparing for the 14 hour fast or because I was nervous. Maybe I’m just using both as an excuse to just, well, eat. Who knows! All I do know, is I AM counting points for a a few days to get myself back on track. The past 2 weeks have been out of control and I’m seeing some old scary habits resurfacing. I also won’t be able to workout as much in recovery so my diet better be in check! I’m a little worried about this, can you tell?

So stay tuned for some food journal posts this week and tomorrow I may have an announcement about a project I’ve been working on.

I have 8 minutes to get some water in. Then it’s fast time. Good Night!

Oh! I will be using Twitter to update on Surgery progress, it’s fast and easier then posting full posts. Click here to see my twitter page

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We went to [...]]]> I actually went on a date tonight! That’s right, a REAL date with my husband, dinner and a movie. It was so nice having dinner out at a restaurant without entertaining a toddler. Don’t get me wrong I love going out the eat the little guy but everyone needs a break.

We went to a nice Italian place and I admit I indulged. We ordered an eggplant appetizer with mozzarella cheese and tomatoes, it was too die for! For dinner I had a house specialty, it was a bunch of veggies over angel hair pasta with a balsamic vinegar sauce. I immediate cut the plate in half and brought the rest home. Before you think, oh she did so good, remember the title of the post is “Indulgence”. Before and during dinner I hit the bread bowl more then a few times. After dinner, we decided to split a little dessert. It was one of those, oh we are having fun let’s extend dinner decisions. I don’t regret it but I do feel awful right now, like I have a lead ball in my gut. YUCK! Too much bread and a piece of rich chocolate cake would do that to you.

Tomorrow I’ll be back posting my menus.

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First I want to talk about 1/2 is More written by Jay Jacobs, the master mind behind myPetFat. MyPetFat is a replica of a human fat to either motivate you to lose weight or remind what you have lost. It’s [...]]]> Let’s start with the book reviews. They are easier to face then my confession. :~)

First I want to talk about 1/2 is More written by Jay Jacobs, the master mind behind myPetFat. MyPetFat is a replica of a human fat to either motivate you to lose weight or remind what you have lost. It’s pretty ingenious I think. Anyway, Jay wrote an e-book to motivate others to lose weight. He has straightforward advice (similar to my own, **patting myself on the back** **wink** **wink**) and it’s wrapped up nicely in a fun quick motivating read. I highly recommend it.

I told Jay I would be linking to his book and he provided the following coupon codes for my readers.

$10.00 OFF a mini mypetfat enter FIT [case sensitive] into the coupon box after selecting a mini mypetfat and then hit APPLY COUPON

$10.00 OFF the "1/2 is more" ebook enter DIET [case sensitive] into the coupon box after selecting a "1/2 is more" and then hit APPLY COUPON

Changing gears, the second book I recently read is more about nutrition then weight loss. This book as taught me so much about what I should be eating I just had to share. SuperFoods Rx: Fourteen Foods That Will Change Your Life written by Steven Pratt, M.D. and Kathy Matthews discusses foods you literally can’t live without. They give you the scientific breakdown on why you should eat those foods and some neat ways on how to include them in your diet.

The book sas a great introduction, discusses each superfood and there “sidekicks” (foods that contain similar nutrients) in great detail and then wraps it up with recipes and a shopping list. So if you noticed my recipes and daily menus had included more of these foods, now you know why!

• All Beans
• Blueberries, purple grapes and other berries
• Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, cauliflower
• Oats, wheat Germ and Flaxseed
• Oranges pretty much all citrus
• Pumpkin, Butternut squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, orange bell peppers
• Wild Salmon, canned Albacore Tuna
• Soy
• Spinach
• Tea
• Tomatoes, watermelon
• Turkey
• Walnuts and mist nuts and seeds
• Yogurt

I guess I have to confess now don’t I? OK OK I went to a child’s birthday party today. I was planning to have a SMALL piece of cake. I WASN’T planning on eating a small piece of cake, 1/2 of the toddlers cake, a bit of ice cream, too many handfuls of pretzels to count and corn chips with salsa. Remind me next time NOT to go hungry. I was even eyeing up a doughnut they had on the counter. Bad I know. My flex are gone for the week, At least tomorrow is the last day.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Man I had a lot to say tonight!

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Out and about all day and all I did was pick. A piece of pizza here, a half of granola bar there, a bite of a cookie, a handful of sun chips, I wasn’t out of control just on the run. (If I was out of control it [...]]]> Originally Posted on January 14th, 2007

Out and about all day and all I did was pick. A piece of pizza here, a half of granola bar there, a bite of a cookie, a handful of sun chips, I wasn’t out of control just on the run. (If I was out of control it would have been 3-4 slices of pizza, the whole granola bar, 5-6 cookies and a bag of sun chips). :) I’m not going to post my daily menu because honestly I didn’t track well enough.

On the workout front, I got a walk in but I did not complete my weight training goal for the week. I could go do it now but I’m still sore from lifting yesterday. I’d rather rest a day and pick back up tomorrow.

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