Roni's Weigh » motivation

Wordless Wednesday: 275 Pounds Lost in Two Years, Two Months, and A Day.

roni — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:10:34 +0000

This warrants a FEW words… Click here to meet the amazing Sean, A fellow weight loss blogger that journaled his entire weight loss.

Listen to the amazing story of how he started and the plan he devised for himself (eerily similiar to my WW experience)…

"There is no ‘someday’ on the calender" – Sean Anderson

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Elaine’s Corner: What Motivates You?

roni — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 01:15:20 +0000

Elaine is back and let me tell you she had me nodding through this whole post. It took me years to figure out what my motivators are. Wanting to look good in a bathing suit was never enough to keep me going but being a healthy, happy example for my son is. I’ll let Elaine explain what the heck I’m talking about.

If you are new to this series, click here and scroll down to start at the beginning.

Think about this for a second – If I gave you $100 an hour to dig a ditch and then simply fill the ditch back up with dirt for 8 hours a day, would you take the job? This scenario is a classic case study on the role of motivation in human behavior.

Motivation, as we all know, is an amorphous, slip-through-your-fingers kind of feeling that often comes in intense bursts and then fades to the background of jobs, spouses, kids, and other daily tasks. As I spend weeks thinking about and writing motivation, I’ve spent considerable time about thinking about extrinsic and intrinsic motivators. In general, you can think of extrinsic motivators as “external” to you and intrinsic motivators as your “internal” motivators. Both are important – but which one matters the most?

In terms of weight loss, external motivators are things like looking sexy, being attractive, or wearing a smaller size jeans. Preparing for a wedding or class reunion are also external motivators. These motivators aren’t bad, but they aren’t great either. These motivators can give you a spurt of energy, but are often not sustainable long term. Roni writes often about how she spent her 20s trying to lose weight to fit in to smaller clothes, but it wasn’t until Ryan was born that everything “clicked” for her….

Internal motivators are those motivators that stick with us, day in and day out, to get us through the boring and sometimes monotonous schedule of eating healthy, exercising, and taking care of our bodies. Internal motivators come from a deep appreciation and love of oneself, from knowing that you are worth it, and from knowing that you can and do have the power to make long-lasting positive change in your life.

If you think about the scenario of digging a ditch simply for income, you might think that “sure, I could do that for a day or two. Maybe even a month.” A research study done at Yale University was completed in the 1960s and determined that there was no amount of money that could motivate an employee to do meaningless work for an extended duration of time. The same is true of weight loss – you have to find your internal motivators, bolster them with some external motivators and rewards, and commit for the long haul.

The fun thing about internal motivators is they are all different. For me, it’s the self-efficacy and pride that comes from being able to run a half-marathon. What is it for you? What motivates you to the very core of your being?

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Weekend Quote: Live the Life You Want

roni — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 02:10:16 +0000

I’m so glad I saw this quote today. (for the life of me I can’t remember where. I just copied and pasted when it caught my attention.) I don’t know who said it. A quick google search reveals many variations and no authors. Regardless, it grabbed me…

Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember. Make decisions. Make mistakes. If you fall, at least you tried.

It’s fitting for me at the moment. Confident and decisive are two things I’m getting more and more comfortable with but it wasn’t always that way.

Not too long ago I wasn’t living the live I wanted to live. I was forgettable. Indecisive. And afraid to make mistakes.

Interesting enough, confidence didn’t come with the weight loss. Weight loss came with the confidence.

I used to think “dieting” would get me thin and thin would get me the life I wanted. I focused on what I COULDN’T eat, what I COULDN’T wear, what I COULDN’T do UNTIL “thin” happened.

Funny thing… all I needed to do was start. No more waiting. No more wishing I was thin. I just needed to live my damn life. The life I wanted, not the one I thought I was stuck with because I was fat.

It’s amazing how opposite my thinking was.

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Weekend Quote: How Many Eggs Have You Thrown Away?

roni — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 03:21:51 +0000

This weekend quote comes via Jenn. She left it in the comments on my recent Ask Roni: Good Intentions Gone Bad post about giving up on making healthy choices because you had one "slip up."

Note: I don’t want to call them "slip ups" but I know that you know what I mean! Right? The whole… I-ate-a-cookie-I might as-well-go-ahead-and-order-a-stuffed-crust meat-lovers-pizza-for-dinner thing. This also includes the… I’ll-start-Monday-because-weekends-are-too-hard thing as well.

I believe this cycle stems from the diet mentality. The "I can’t have that" is so burned into our brains. We want to be perfect, to eat perfect and once something disrupts the perfectness we’ve "blown it" so might as well consume everything in sight. This could be our last chance! Until, that is, we try to be perfect again tomorrow, or Monday or after the holidays or….. you get the idea.

Jenn shared some great insight into this weight loss phenomena…

I heard a lady say yesterday that it’s like if you drop an egg on the floor…you don’t then throw the rest of them down too…you clean up your mess and move on…

MAN I love a good metaphor. How perfect is that? Think about all the other areas of your life where "slip ups" occurs. How do you handle them? Do you just throw your hands up and surrender? Lord knows parents can’t do that, if I had a nickle for every time I messed up in that department I sure would’t be worried about leaving my full time job! How about school? Did you ever fail a test? I sure did.. geesh I almost flunked out of my freshman year yet I sit here with my Masters degree.

We have to remember it’s not about one mistake or in the case or our diet, one meal. It’s about an overall lifestyle. There is no on-plan/off-plan. Everything is on-plan IF you are consciously making decisions and not simply reacting to your imperfection. I hate to tell you, we are all imperfect. The sooner we realize it the faster we can get to reaching our goals.

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Why I keep trying?

roni — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:00:14 +0000

I recently received a depressing email from an online friend. She amazingly ran her first 5k, started weight training and feels absolutely wonderful! However–and I’m thinking a lot of us can relate to this–She saw a picture of herself that set her back. She went on to describe how she looked. How miserable and awful she now feels after seeing the photo.

This saddens me so much I can barely find the words. I really didn’t know how to respond. How do I tell her that sometimes I feel the same way. That there have been pictures I’ve seen of myself that cause those same negative thoughts.

This one comes to mind…

pic from 12 Miles, Chicago Pizza with a Side of BlogHer

When I saw that picture I was so conscious of my belly. I almost didn’t post it. All these thoughts started flooding my head…

Was it worth it? The weight loss? The tummy tuck? Look at me. Look at my gut. I’m disgusting. Why do I even bother?

I’m not kidding or exaggerating. Thoughts like that pop into my head ALL the time. I’m constantly battling them. Constantly.

But battle them I do and I will continue to do. I’ve come to accept that my brain works this way. Blame it on my upbringing or what people told me when I was younger, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m wired like this and I don’t think I’m alone.

My strategy for dealing with these negative thoughts is simple…

I ignore myself as much as possible.

Ridiculous, right? But what’s the alternative? To feel sorry for myself. Dive into a pint of ice cream. Ignore my child’s requests for walks to the park. Become a wall flower at weddings instead of dancing with my husband. Hide under a towel when everyone is else is swimming in the ocean.

No. No. No. I did that the first half of my life and I refuse to go back to that place. It’s what started the yo-yo diet cycle of hell to begin with.

Instead I ignore and I live the life I want to regardless of any negative self talk going on in my head.

It’s not always easy. Reminding myself that many women, regardless of size feel the same way helps. That all those "perfect" people in magazines don’t exist. That this is my body and it can do extraordinary things. It’s also the only one I have and I only have it for a short time. In a blink of an eye I’m going to go from 34 to 64 and I want to live up every moment I have before that happens. I want to run on the beach. I want to play tennis with the husband. I want to keep up with Ryan and hopefully dance around like a nut with his children. THAT is why I keep trying.

So to my friend who shall remain nameless unless she chooses, I get over my bad self-image by reminding myself of all these things. At the end of the day I’m happy with who I am not because of the body I’m in but because I’m living the life I want to live.

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Weekend Quote: Defining Success

roni — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 15:06:23 +0000

I have so much going on right now and I’m off schedule a bit with my posts but I wanted to head into the weekend with an inspiring quote. I love this one by Maya Angelou…

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

Sometimes I think we only frame “success” as hitting a certain number on the scale or squeezing into a specific size jeans but it is SO much more than that.

True success comes from falling in love with the process. Loving who you are the way you are and recognizing that life is happening now, regardless of your size.

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Ask Roni_v33s2-Credit for Bloggers, Busy Moms, Blogging to Lose, Dealing with Point Differences, Fear of Maintenance

roni — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:22:03 +0000

Podcast/Video time! I’m not doing too too bad am I? Slowly getting back into the groove and I’m liking it. Hopefully I can get back my 1 video a week pace by this fall. Lord knows I can surely talk that much. ;)

Topics included in the video…

Do bloggers get "Credit" from Google readers
Suggestions for a busy mom
side bar: Committing to a blog to lose weight
Partners Dealing with Point Differences
Fear of Maintenance and Some Strategies

Podcast/Audio only version

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Weekend Quote: I Wish

roni — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 03:03:53 +0000

Have you seen The Daily Motivator? It’s a daily site/email written by Ralph Marston meant to inspire and motivate. I don’t subscribe but I usually stumble across it every few months. His writings are short, concise and normally get me thinking. As a blogger I also find him to be completely inspirational. He’s been publishing his content online way before the word “blog” even existed. A man way ahead of his time.

I was perusing his archives and I came across "I wish…" As someone who spent 15 years wishing she was thin, this really spoke to me…

I wish I was… I wish I had… I wish I could… I wish I knew…

Do you ever wish? What do you wish for? What happens when you wish? Not much, except that you remind yourself of the desirable things you do not have. Unless you have a magic genie in a lamp, wishing does not make anything happen.

In fact, wishing often prevents us from getting our wish. "I wish I could lose weight," we think, as we scoop out another bowl full of ice cream. "I wish I could afford a new car" we think, as we waste another ten dollars on lottery tickets. To the degree that "wishing" makes our current undesirable situation more tolerable, it prevents us from taking the actions necessary to improve things.

Stop wishing and start living. Do your dream. Make the specific plans, and take the effective actions necessary to achieve the life you desire. The next time you find yourself wishing, stop and think, "What can I do right now that will begin to make it so?" Wishing won’t make it happen. However, YOU can make it happen.

— Ralph Marston

LOVE that!

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Ask Roni: Appeasing the Snack Gods

roni — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 03:34:56 +0000

Hi Roni,

I just had to email you to tell you that I was feeling a bit stressed about staying on track this evening (this week, I am trying to spread my 35 Weekly Points out throughout the week, whereas I usually plow through them pretty quickly within the first few days of my week) and I decided to read through your blog (I’ve read it for a long time now and I visit your site daily, for inspiration…or commiseration!) :)

I am so glad I read back through old blog posts! It’s funny how you might know something for a long time but then start second-guessing yourself about how to approach the plan or how to handle emotions and feelings about the "journey" and the sometimes struggle that may be involved.

I was wondering, when you came to the end of your day in terms of Points and didn’t want to use any more (for whatever reason), do you ever start getting that urge, that little "voice" saying, "Hmmm, I wonder what I can snack on?!" How do you deal with that? I know that I can almost expect that reaction every night after I scan my Points Tracker page and upload it to my blog (it’s my way of staying accountable, recently, because after I post it, I figure if I eat more than what it shows, I’m really just hurting myself and my own success) how counter-productive is THAT?! But that urge shows up like clock-work no matter how satisfying of a day I’ve had. It’s like my "inner child" wants to rebel because she’s been told "No more!" Does that sound weird?! It’s the best way I can think of to explain it! :P

I know it’s more of a psychological reaction than a physiological one, but how do you overcome this in your experience? So many times, I’ve said, "OK, well, I’ll just eat such and such." when I’ve wanted to wait until morning, and then I end up using a greater number of Points than intended, and I feel guilty and upset with myself, and I’m sure you are familiar with the cycle of "Why did I do that?! I knew I didn’t want to eat more than X amount of Points! I shouldn’t have done that!" and all the other berating that goes along with letting yourself down and not meeting your own expectations.

I want to turn a corner on the WW plan. There are certain cycles of eating, thinking, and reacting that I need to change – and my biggest obstacle is myself!

Thanks for your advice and insight!

Robyn

OMG… Robyn, this happens to me ALL THE TIME! Honestly it’s what inspires me the most to get creative in the kitchen. Like putting chocolate syrup in tea, blending banana and cocoa, making nachos out of soy crisps, filling scoops with veggies, stuffing won tons with ricotta and/or pizza toppings, coating popcorn in chocolate and honey, turning zucchini slices into mini pizzas, I could go on and on and on. I mean tonight I actually grilled a cherry and chocolate sandwich!

I tend to use that voice to my advantage and try to appease it by eating something healthy for me, that’s low in points and fun. Normally the act of making something up is more satisfying then actually eating it. Like when I made the mini apple pies. The process was fun and it slows me down from just grabbing and eating my weight in chips or chocolate (which I’ve been known to do on many occasions.)

Then again there are days I’m just lazy and yea, I initial get mad at myself as well. Those are the days I kick myself in the butt and move on. No sense in beating myself up by eating even MORE. Which is what I used to do.

I think you hit the nail on the head with "my biggest obstacle is myself!" It is for me as well. There was/is no physical reason why I couldn’t lose weight. It was just getting over the mental aspects and realizing there is no such thing as perfection. And yea, some days I’m just gonna want ice cream and that’s ok. ;)

I hope that helps!

-Roni

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Ask Roni_v32s2 – Running before losing, Falling of the Wagon, Regular Slip Ups, Learning to Run

roni — Sat, 29 May 2010 00:22:17 +0000

FINALLY! Sorry for the delay. I recorded this a few weeks back and finally carved out a few hours to prep it and upload before heading hitting the open road towards Disney. I’m happily and weirdly saying that this will be my last video…. with HAIR! ;)

Topics in this video include…

Running before Losing the Weight
Have I ever Fallen off the Wagon – A kick in the butt for those that lost motivation.
Strategies for Dealing with Slip Ups
How to Start Running

Podcast Version (Audio Only)

Links mentioned in the video…

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