First I have to show you a photo.

Photo by Getty Images

See their arms? My entire life all I wanted was model thin arms. Well it wasn’t ALL I wanted, [...]]]> This post is inspired by 2 recent events so different you may wonder how they relate, but they do. I promise.

First I have to show you a photo.

Photo by Getty Images

See their arms? My entire life all I wanted was model thin arms. Well it wasn’t ALL I wanted, but it was definitely something I thought a lot about between the ages of 12 and, oh, I don’t know, yesterday.

I’m kidding, sort of. I would be lying if I didn’t say I’m still somewhat self-conscious of my arms, but I’ve been working hard at accepting my body for what it is. I’ve learned to ignore my inner mean girl who kind of likes to fixate on insignificant little things — like how my arms look.

For the most part, I haven’t heard from said inner mean girl in awhile. I’ve been going about my business, kicking butt at the gym, having fun with the kids, and living the active life I want to live because let’s be honest, how does the size of my arms really effect any of that?

Hint: It doesn’t.

Anyway, this past Saturday I got up bright and early to run with my friend Jimmy. The same Jimmy who ran the Tough Mudder double header with me.

This deserves a post of its own, but Jimmy decided to tackle 32 miles to celebrate his 32nd birthday. He’s crazy, we all know it, especially his wife, Carrie, who helped him organize the running event.

The idea was for all his friends to run part of the 32 miles with him. I got the first 5-mile leg and met him at his house at 5 a.m. Saturday. The run was great and I was ecstatic he let me be a part of his amazing birthday challenge. When we finished I asked Carrie to take our picture.

At first I didn’t think anything of it. I shot the photo up on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, but within minutes people started to comment, pointing out my arms.

I looked closer at the photo and… holy crap I have MAN ARMS!

All the comments were very complimentary, but I have to admit, it brought back a lot of old feelings. I’ve always felt big, broad and well, like a man. I think that’s why I so longed for a petite female body as a child. My desire to be super thin really set off a chain of events that led to more and more weight gain.

Regardless, the whole arm photo experience cemented my position on diet and exercise — I can’t worry about how my body is going to look. I just need to focus on the life I want to lead and be happy with the body that life creates.  I’ve learned that’s really the only way for me to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise.

Changing gears, as I said, the second event really has nothing to do with the first. It’s not even related to my body, but it is something I’m also very self-conscious about.

A few days ago someone unsubscribed to my site and left this message:

I think you are going way too far with the exercise. It is bordering on obsessive and just as unhealthy as excessive dieting. I don’t relate at all, and I don’t understand how any working mother with a traditional job could ever find time to do CrossFit, Mudder training, Bikram yoga, marathon running, and take multiple vacations without the family. I use to LOVE your site, but as I said, I don’t relate anymore.

I replied — kind of hastily — and said:

I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m doing what’s best for me and make no apologies for that.

Just for the record…

I haven’t been able to go yoga for 2 months — my schedule isn’t allowing it, Mudder training is CrossFit so they are one and the same, I don’t “marathon” run, I challenged myself to run 1 mile a day — it takes 10 minutes, and my last “vacation” was a business trip to a conference.

Thanks for reading and I hope you find what you are looking for in another blogger.

– Roni

I’ve blogged about this MANY times before, most recently in a post called It’s Hard Giving Up Being a Caterpillar.

I replied to the unsubscriber so defensively because, honestly, I am self-conscious about not being relatable anymore. If I wasn’t I would have just deleted her email and moved on, but like my arms in the photo, there’s something that still bothers me, and you know what, I think there will ALWAYS be something there that bothers me. I will always be aware of my arms, I will always worry that people don’t want to read anymore. I will always revert to feeling “thick” when I’m depressed. I will always look first at my stomach in the mirror — another childhood insecurity. And, for as much as I don’t want to admit it, I will always worry what people think of me.

These things are threaded in the fiber of my being and many of them, or at least the experience that made them, make me who I am today.

I’m going to bet you have insecurities, too, and those insecurities probably help shape who you are as a person as well.

Do we really need to be ashamed of that? Does it make you less of a person to admit something you are self-conscious about?

I don’t think so, and I’m not saying that because I just did it. I swear! I really think admitting our insecurities helps to overcome some of the fear that may be holding us back from reaching our goals.

Specifically weight loss-related goals too. How many times have you given up when one of your self-conscious issues surfaced or resurfaced?  I did it often, hence the 15 years I was stuck in the yo-yo dieting cycle of hell.

If you want to participate this week, let’s explore some of your self-conscious issues in the comments. I’m going to bet we all share some similar ones. 

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

We were woken up brite an early by these two toddler cousins.

They are 9 months apart and both oozing personality.

For breakfast I made a quick frittata with what I had in the fridge: ham, peppers, [...]]]> Yesterday was Little Guy’s 8th Birthday, today, Father’s Day. Needless to say, the weekend was an absolute blur.

We were woken up brite an early by these two toddler cousins.

They are 9 months apart and both oozing personality.

For breakfast I made a quick frittata with what I had in the fridge: ham, peppers, spinach and bacon bits.

It’s my go-to when I have people for breakfast and we want eggs.

Soon the now-8-year old joined us and explored some of his birthday gifts.

His friends finally woke up and they took over our living room TV playing Wii U.

Grandma TRIED to read The Toddler a book but he was distracted by Metroid Blast.

Having a house full of kids brought the child out in all of us.

Ahhh, who am I kidding. We don’t need the kids — we’re always childlike as you can tell by the only thing The Husband wanted for Father’s Day.

I had him convinced he wasn’t getting it. :)

The kids headed outside for a water gun fight,

and the toddlers went sand crazy on the deck.

We decided to make dinner for lunch since “the Dads” had afternoon golf plans.

In addition to my grill-fest I made a new salad idea using fresh basil from the garden.

It was a hit! I’ll try to get it on GreenLiteBites tomorrow. UPDATE: Recipe posted. Click here to check out Basil Cucumber Salad with Tomatoes and Cheese.

After dinner we chatted before the The Husband and his Dad hit the golf course.

After a quick nap (myself included) Evan and I headed out for our mile.

He’s LOVING the running stroller and actually asks to go out for runs now. I’m telling you this Running Streak thing is awesome! It has really reminded me taking 10-20 minutes for a quick run is not only possible but beneficial. I’ve been feeling fantastic!

We got back and snacked a bit. This guy hit the cashews pretty hard and he was so cute doing it.

After snack we headed back out for a park trip.

It was too nice of a day to stay in.

The rest of the evening we hung out with Grandma,

and played Lego City on the Wii U until the dads came home.

We ended up ordering food and I went with an old favorite of mine, an eggplant parm sub. Boy was it good, but now I feel like a slug. Honestly, my eating all weekend has been overindulgent with cake, s’mores, pizza, and lots of other junk.   I don’t regret a thing — it was an AWESOME weekend —  but I’m ready to return to cleaner eating. My tummy is not happy right now.

This week is pretty much my last week before FitBloggin‘ so I’m going to be a mess. Ryan’s home from school. I have to figure out what I’m shipping versus taking with me to Portland. And you know there will be tons of little fires to put out. That’s just par for the event-planning course.

I must admit though, I do like it. It’s such a different type of work than web development or teaching.

OK, I’m off to bed before I eat anything “just because.”

Hope you had a great weekend!

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

I could only do 2-3 at a time but again, these were not possible the [...]]]> This morning I completed an exercise I couldn’t do just 2-3 months ago. It’s called Toes to Bar. Here’s what it looks like. (Note: found this on YouTube and now I’m mad I didn’t get my trainer to film me!)

I could only do 2-3 at a time but again, these were not possible the last time I tried. I could barely get my knees to my elbows!

“We’ve all heard about people who’ve exploded beyond the limitations of their conditions to become examples of the unlimited power of the human spirit.

You and I can make our lives one of these legendary inspirations, as well, simply by having courage and the awareness that we can control whatever happens in our lives. Although we cannot always control the events in our lives, we can always control our response to them, and the actions we take as a result.

If there’s anything you’re not happy about — in your relationships, in your health, in your career — make a decision right now about how you’re going to change it immediately.” ― Anthony Robbins

Ask this girl….

if she thought she’d be running, working out and enjoying life the way she does now, I don’t think she’d believe you. Yet here I am today.

Well, not TODAY but a couple of weeks ago in Toronto.

Saying I “exploded beyond the limitations of my condition” may be a stretch, but I did finally decide to change what I was unhappy about in my life.  And over the course of 8 years I’ve come farther than I ever thought possible.

Tomorrow is Little Guy’s 8th birthday. EIGHT!!!

He (and his brother) will never know the girl in that photo above who sold herself short on a daily basis. They have helped me see how amazing life is and how I don’t want to waste another minute of it being unhappy. Well, except when they don’t listen — then I want to wring their little necks!

Fellow parents understand.

Anyway, I truly believe once you push yourself out of your comfort zone and experience life, there’s no going back.

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

I just finished an evening snack of yogurt topped with strawberries, cocoa nibs, chia seeds and honey and I thought, hmpf, I should do a quick post with a few of my recent food finds because I’ve gotten into some new stuff.

Note: This is not a sponsored post but I’m linking to the [...]]]>

I just finished an evening snack of yogurt topped with strawberries, cocoa nibs, chia seeds and honey and I thought, hmpf, I should do a quick post with a few of my recent food finds because I’ve gotten into some new stuff.

Note: This is not a sponsored post but I’m linking to the products on Amazon and I am an affiliate so I will make a small percentage of any sales. All opinions are my own, of course. 

Cacao Nibs

I found these at a local health food store and I’m OBSESSED! They add such a chewy, crunchy texture to yogurt, ice cream or banana soft serve. They have an intense cocoa smell but more of a bitter taste, but bitter in the best possible way. I really think they are addictive because I want to add them to everything! I even snuck some in my latest batch of Banana Oatmeal Cups and the kids didn’t even notice.

Click here to check out the cacao nibs I’ve been using on Amazon

Chia Seeds

I’m hopped on this bandwagon as well. I usually don’t get all into the crazy health food trends but the nutritional profile of chia seeds is so impressive I couldn’t pass them up. A tablespoon has 60 calories, 5g of (healthy) fats, 5g of fiber and 2g of protein. When added to water they thicken and get gel like. They are filling, interesting and add such a fun texture to foods. I’ve used them twice on GreenLiteBites, once to make a “jelly” and recently a breakfast porridge. The other day I just mixed some into almond milk with honey and cocoa powder for a quick breakfast and it was delicious!

Click here to check out the chia seeds I’ve been using on Amazon

Sunflower Seed Butter

I tried my first jar of sunflower seed butter and there’s no going back now. I LOVE it. Even more so than peanut butter and almond butter. I’ve been spreading it on celery sticks and dipping pretzels in it but I have to limit myself because it’s really easy to go overboard. I’m going to try to make my own in a food processor because I’m not sure I can be trusted with store-bought jars in my pantry all the time.

Click here to check out the sunflower butter I’ve been using on Amazon

I love trying new things and every once in a while, I end up adopting new habits. Right now these habits consist of sprinkling cacao nibs and chia seeds on yogurt and dipping celery into sunflower seed butter. Hey, it’s better then stealing The Husband’s Doritos!

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

Killing it.

I don’t talk about it much, but I’m seriously addicted to CrossFit. I’ve been going consistently for 6 months and I can’t get over the [...]]]> Part of me wanted to sneak on the scale this morning, but I decided it wasn’t worth it. I’ve been KILLING it at the gym.

Killing it.

I don’t talk about it much, but I’m seriously addicted to CrossFit. I’ve been going consistently for 6 months and I can’t get over the progress I’ve made. I love the challenge, the variety, the atmosphere. It’s truly become my outlet and even though I have to get up early to go, I look forward to it daily.

I won’t bore you with my obsession. I’ve already posted 5 Reasons Why I Love CrossFit in February and it’s all still true. 

Anyway, this past week has been great but busy. In all honesty, we’ve been eating out a bit more than normal. With the conference just 2 weeks away, I’m having a hard time keeping up with everything else. On the days I have childcare I barely leave my computer and on the days I don’t, I try to fully disconnect so I’m not constantly distracted around the 2-year-old.  I’m in a pattern overall, but it’s a little stressful.

Other than that, not much else is going on. I was planning on replying to all the weigh-in comments last week but the time got away from me. Looks like most of you did great but there was a dip in participation so I wonder how many of you have just walked away.

You don’t have to actually hop on the scale to “weigh in.” Use Wednesday as a day to reflect on the prior week, the weekend, etc. If you want to set a small goal this week, let us know in the comments and we’ll check in with you next week.  Goal achieving is only possible if you commit and that includes facing the “bad” weeks just as you would the “good” ones.

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

By far the most significant affect of ditching “perfect”  — and consequently the one that started me down an unperfectly happy path — was my diet. If you’ve read my weight story you know [...]]]> These thoughts have been swimming in my head for a while. It was time to let them out.

1. Weight Loss

By far the most significant affect of ditching “perfect”  — and consequently the one that started me down an unperfectly happy path — was my diet. If you’ve read my weight story you know I have quite the history of yo-yo dieting. I even have a “cute” little flow chart that basically sums up my teens and 20s pretty well.

Encapsulated in that “I fail the new diet” block is my attempt to follow said new diet PERFECTLY and if I even slightly strayed — like one M&M strayed — from that new diet, then I failed. Game over. Time to binge.

By striving for the “perfect” diet I actually ended up eating anything but.  It didn’t matter how I defined “perfect” either: no carbs, only vegetables, fasting, juicing, unprocessed, etc., etc., etc. If I strayed just 1 calorie from the plan I’d walk away and declare weight loss impossible.

So here I am maintaining quite a weight loss for almost 8 years now.  I proved myself wrong, and a big part of that was ditching the idea of a “perfect” diet.

It wasn’t one M&M that prevented me from losing weight. It was the pound I ate out of frustration that I wasn’t perfect that was holding me back.

I know my diet will never, ever be perfect. I don’t even know what a perfect diet looks like. I don’t think anyone does.  I eat a variety of foods, focusing on fruits, vegetables, lean meats and overall less-processed choices. I also enjoy McDonald’s cones with my kids, popcorn at the movies and every once in awhile, Swedish fish with The Husband. If being perfect means giving those things up permanently, I’d rather be flawed.

It is possible to lose weight without being perfect. Consistency trumps perfection any day. That’s what I learned 8 years ago, and it not only helped me lose weight, but maintain the loss

2. Body image

Along the same lines as my diet, and using that same flow chart, let’s peer into the “I feel bad about my body” square.

I don’t remember a time I didn’t hate my body. As a teen I wanted nothing more than to look like an anorexic runway model — my idea of the “perfect” body back then — and I thought, if I’d just lose enough lose weight it was possible.

It didn’t happen.

Regardless of how much weight I lost, my broader shoulders, thicker arms, and dimply thighs are just a part of me.

I am perfectly imperfect and always will be. Realizing that allowed me to break out of the yo-yo diet cycle and lose weight in a healthy way.

I no longer pursue some perfect body — again, is there even one? I’m now much more interested in a healthy, strong one.

3. Managing my House

I don’t know how else to categorize this concept besides house management.

Without getting into some debate about male and female roles let’s just say most — OK, more like all — house-management stuff falls on my to-do list. I’m the catalyst for household chores and there was a time I would DO most of them as well.

Not anymore.

I’ve learned the art of delegating, but with delegating comes the realization that when you don’t do something, someone else does, and they probably aren’t going to do it the way you do. You know, the PERFECT way.

We all have our own “perfect” way to fold clothes, stack the dishwasher, make the bed, etc. Right? And if you delegate one of those tasks to the spouse or the kids what happens?

It doesn’t get done perfectly!

Of course.

Then you end up wondering why you asked for help in the first place because now it’s not done right and you’re angry and you’re stressed. You may even take on the martyr role and say something like, “FINE! I’ll just do it myself.”

OK, I’m saying “you” but I really mean ME. That’s exactly what USED to happen until I realized no one in the house cared how the clothes were folded, or the dishes were stacked, or the beds were made — I’m just making that one up because we don’t make beds in my house — except me.

Now the  7-year-old folds his own laundry, and let me tell you, he’s not very good at it. Do I fight every urge to grab the shirt from his whiny little hands and just fold the damn thing myself?

YES.

OMG yes.

But I don’t. His clothes don’t have to be folded perfectly. They just have to be folded. He’s learning a valuable lesson and so am I.  It’s a win-win.

I should add, my kitchen cabinets and draws are an absolute mess because I let both kids empty the dishwasher.

One day they will actually remember where everything goes. In the meantime, when I can’t find something I smile and think, perfect smerfect. I’d rather have kids that contribute and learn how to help, than a perfectly organized kitchen any day.

4. My Writing

I really don’t want to open up this can of worms but I will because it’s another example how not being perfect has helped me in the long run.

I’m not a writer. I don’t think I’m good at it. I can’t self-edit. I have horrible grammar, and frankly my 7-year-old spells better than I can.

Yet here I am writing this to you on a blog that I’ve written for 8 years. This is my job now. I write. I provide article for brands. I share stories of my kids on GreenLiteBites. I hope one day to write more about travel and share my experiences from around the world.

If I waited until every post was perfect I would never hit the publish button.  I do my best and it has taken me far. For Pete’s sake, it has given me a new career!

Sure, there are grammar czars out there who don’t respect me or what I do, because it’s not perfect — I’m not perfect — and I’m OK with that.

I wrote about this once before and I still stand by what I said back then:

I’m not polished and that’s sort of the point of what I do. I’m not creating a fake image or only sharing airbrushed photos of myself. I’m transparent, raw and real.

I post about my experiences and my life the best way I know how. I believe my thoughts, ideas and experiences are worth sharing, even with all spelling and grammatical errors.

5. My Marriage

I don’t care what people say — marriage is hard. It’s not hard like enduring physical torture hard or running a marathon hard. There’s more to it than that.

It’s compromise and commitment, egos and passions, goals and desires. It’s a balancing act of interests without kids. Throw a toddler or two in the mix and you feel like you’re on a tight rope juggling blazing torches while balancing on a unicycle.

The Husband and I have been married for 12 years (together for 18) and honestly, we are both happier than ever. Well, maybe I shouldn’t speak for him. I AM happier than ever, even though our marriage is far from perfect.

There was a time I thought The Husband should be able to read my mind. If he was the perfect husband he should know what I need, when I need it. He should be able to sense my stress and draw me a bath. He should automatically get up with the kids in the morning when I stayed up too late working the night before. He should be able to handle dinner when I’m too tired.

HA!

He does none of those things.

Well, not unless I ask him to.

Once I stopped expecting my husband to be perfect, our relationship got stronger. Perfect Husbands don’t exist, but partners do, and partners ask for help when they need it. Partners communicate and compromise. Partners are aware of each other’s imperfections and accept each other anyway.

My diet, my body, my house, my career, and my marriage are all perfectly imperfect, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Are you still holding on to perfect? Is it holding you back? This is NOT a rhetorical question. I have comments turned on for a reason. :)

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

When I came back I was immediately recruited for some car play.

I told Ryan to get a shirt on because I’d be taking pictures and he decided to match me. :)

Yesterday I bought a jump rope so I can practice [...]]]> I left these 2 in bed when I headed for a morning run.

When I came back I was immediately recruited for some car play.

I told Ryan to get a shirt on because I’d be taking pictures and he decided to match me. :)

Yesterday I bought a jump rope so I can practice double unders and someone has been stealing it on me.

We, well I, baked muffins! Click here for the story and recipe. 

I love catching these little moments.

I made myself a breakfast for lunch since breakfast was a muffin. :)

After lunch I left the boys and went grocery shopping. Alone.

It was glorious.

I came home, put the groceries away, and straightened up with some help. 

Then we headed back out to Ikea on the hunt for patio furniture.

Someone HAD to climb on every damn couch. He tested them like a little, grumpy, old man.

When we got home I cooked dinner while The Husband happily put together our new umbrella.

Lately, I’ve been all about the grill.

After dinner, we cleaned up, got the kids ready and I made lunch for The Toddler.

I’ve been trying to share more of his lunches on GreenLiteBites and even started a new category called Preschool Lunches. Click here to check it out.

That’s all I’ve got in me tonight.

Hope you have a great weekend!

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the [...]]]> I’m trying to get here. I think I’m closer than I’ve ever have been before: 

“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others”― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Normally I like to share a bit more for weekend quotes but that one is so good I want to let it stand on it’s own.

Think about it.

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

Then I saw the challenge and decided to commit. It’s [...]]]> Memorial Day was a week and half ago and I’ve run every. single. day. since! Honestly, I can’t believe it. Well, I can. I’m actually DOING it but you know what I mean. I’ve been wanting to run more for months but just, well, wasn’t.

Then I saw the challenge and decided to commit. It’s so funny how little things like that can be just nudge you need to get started.

Although, it’s the finishing that’s the hard part, isn’ it? Or rather the continuing.

I have a long history of starting things and not finishing, but somewhere along the line I’ve gotten better at it, more committed. I take on challenges with enthusiasm and actually maintain that enthusiasm for more than a day. I know, it’s a miracle right? This is coming from the same girl who would get all gung-ho about a new diet plan only to fail/cheat/give up on said new plan within a day, if not hours.

I think my new ability to commit really comes down to practice. The small goals I reached, the more confident I got, the more goals I’d set. It’s cycle that once started can lead to amazing things

For me it all began *cue cheesy flashback music and fade out* by committing to weekly Weight Watchers meetings in 2005, which led to food journaling, which led to walking more, which led to taking regular classes at the gym, which led to signing up for my first 5k, which led to the marathon, which led to the Tough Mudders, which led to …

You get the point.

I started small. Even with this blog, my goal was to simply post once a week and now look at me! I’m not only here almost daily, I’m on GreenLiteBites a few times a week, and TheUnworldlyTravelers a few times a month!

I truly believe it’s the commitment that matters. It doesn’t matter if that commitment is something simple like ditching the diet soda. If you take it seriously it can be the first domino to topple and start an avalanche of positive changes.

We have to stop giving up on ourselves and start making SMALL changes because they really do add up to BIG things.

WOW, I have no idea where all that came from. I was literally staring at my computer wondering what I would write tonight. I really just wanted to share my latest #RWRunStreak because I was all proud of myself for not letting the rain or a busy day stop me.

Then I remembered I recorded a running video in Toronto that I totally forgot to share …

Which makes me even prouder of my current run streak because 4 out of the 11 days so far I was traveling! My biggest challenge will be FitBloggin’, of course, but I’m determined to make it to July 4 with at least a mile a day. If anyone is going to FitBloggin’ you better keep me honest. I may need a shove out the hotel door. :)

This post is from RonisWeigh.com

I’m here! SO sorry for the late weigh-in post. Things are crazy with the conference and end of the school year. I’m trying to get as much done before heading to the school this afternoon to volunteer for the end-of-year party.

Anyway, I DID NOT GET ON THE SCALE this morning, and [...]]]>

I’m here! SO sorry for the late weigh-in post. Things are crazy with the conference and end of the school year. I’m trying to get as much done before heading to the school this afternoon to volunteer for the end-of-year party.

Anyway, I DID NOT GET ON THE SCALE this morning, and you know what, it was easy. I didn’t even think about it! I was too distracted by the kids, making breakfast, packing lunches, getting ready for the gym, etc., etc., etc.

It’s amazing how habits are started and broken. All it took was a few days of consciously not getting on the scale — almost forcing myself not to — and now I just forgot.  Just a few weeks ago I was thinking about weigh-in day for, well, days! Now the scale is the farthest thing from my mind.

Maybe it’s just because I’m busy but that’s OK. There really is a freedom that comes from NOT being distracted by the number. At this point I’m just going to take it week by week.

How was your week? Scale or no scale reading — we want to know! 

This post is from RonisWeigh.com