We are all capable of great things. We just need to believe it.

Feel free to stop reading now if you don’t have boobs cause, yea, I’m going there.

First of all let me say my "girls" have quite an interesting history.

In 8th grade I was nominated as the second honorary Miss. "TT." That’s what the [...]]]> I went bra shopping yesterday. Yup, BRA shopping.

Feel free to stop reading now if you don’t have boobs cause, yea, I’m going there.

First of all let me say my "girls" have quite an interesting history.

In 8th grade I was nominated as the second honorary Miss. "TT." That’s what the boys in my class would call one of the girls for a month until focusing their attention a new "TT" to torment.

What did "TT" stand for?

Torpedo Tits.

Nice. Right?

At 13 this was NOT a compliment.

Already painfully aware I was on the chubby side of things having, such a sensitive topic being talked about amongst my peers at that age was emotional to say the least.

As I put on more weight "the girls" grew even more with me. I easily fit into and sometimes flowed out of D cups. Maybe, if I was skinny with non-proportional breasts I wouldn’t have minded as much, but I was chubby with very proportional ones.

Fast forward through 15 years of yo-yo dieting (sometimes with weight swings of 50+ pounds,) and my first baby who I nursed for 6 months and then a fairly quick 70lb weight loss.

I’ll give you a nice mental picture of "the girls."

Ready?

Image 2 balloons taped to a chest which suddenly…. popped.

Totally deflation.

I’m not exaggerating.

At 30 I felt like I had the breasts of an 80 year old.

In 2006 it was an easy decision for me to have them lifted. No implants. Just skin removal to frame the natural breast tissue I had left after the weight loss.

Post-surgery I was an average size B cup and again very proportional to my now smaller physique.

6 years later, new baby, more nursing, more weight gain then loss.

There’s no doubt my breast aren’t the same. I’ve lost some tissue. None of my bras prior to getting pregnant fit correctly and my nursing bras are all too big.

It was time to get sized.

*sigh*

As the sizer wrapped the measuring tape around my chest I cringed a little not wanting to see the number.

Why does this bother me so much?

You guys know how much I weigh. How old I am (35 if you didn’t.) How I felt about my father. My deepest body image issues. Yet this small nugget of information is hard for me to talk about.

Why am I holding on to insecurity about my bra size?

The women told me what I expected to hear in a surprised tone.

"You’re a 38?"

Why so surprised? Do I look smaller than I am? Bigger?

She measured me again.

"Yup. A 38. Probably a 38 A or B."

THIRTY EIGHT?

That number bugs me more than then the cup size. It makes me feel broad and thick and masculine.

I’ll never be a 34. Ever.

For some silly reason that is the number I always thought I should be. I don’t know why? Maybe because I had cute, skinny, friends that size. Maybe because 34-24-34 has been shoved down our throats from the modeling industry for years. Maybe because I just always wanted to be small, petite, skinny.

I realize how ridiculous my obsession with this number sounds. I’ve come to terms with the scale and my dress size but a 38? REALLY?

I’m probably in the best shape of my life. I’m practically smack dab in the middle of my weight range for my height. I’ve maintained a healthy weight loss for almost 7 years now. I gave birth to 2 children. I run. I weight lift. I’m training for a Tough Mudder event. For Pete’s sake I just ran 9 miles and then hiked with my boys on Sunday and still had enough energy to hang out with my friend and cook dinner.

I, well, yea I’ll own it, I ROCK.

But tell me I’m suppose to wear a 38 A bra and it throws me down a path of self-loathing? This experience has brought some lingering insecurities to the surface and it’s so much more than about my bra size.

Sometimes I feel like a fat girl in a fit body. There, I said, again. You’re probably sick of hearing it but it’s true. Yes, even after 7 years I feel as if I don’t quite fit in the fat or fit world. If I dig a little deeper it’s my fear that fit people see me as fat and fat people see me as fit. I can’t win in my own head.

I also never quite feel connected to other moms. I stay at home but I work. I have a grade school kid and a toddler. I feel older than moms with toddlers and younger than the moms at the bus stop. It’s all in my head, I’m sure, but the feelings are very real.

Even here in the blog world. I started off as a weight loss blogger now I’m what? A mom blogger? A fit blogger? A food blogger? I have my foot in so many niches yet don’t feel quite accepted in any one of them.

Let’s not stop there. Am I even good enough at this blogging thing to even justify it as a “career”? Why do I constantly feel the need to defend myself when it comes to my work?

These are the silly things that go through my head. Then I ask myself…

Why do I have to call myself fat or skinny? Or carry a certain mom label? Or define what I do in one single word?

When is just being ourselves –without comparison or self-imposed expections– enough?

I’m a 5’8”, 150lb, 38 B bra wearing mommma who makes a living blogging about whatever the heck I want to blog about.

Why should I be insecure about that?

So I shall wear my new 38 B bra proud because it fits, it’s comfortable and IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THE TAG SAYS.

Regardless of my size, the scale, my mom label, or my job, I’m doing what I want to be doing and will continue to do what I want to be doing. THAT’S what matters.

Side note: I debated what picture to use for this post. I was going to grab a stock image of a bra. Then it occurred to me I wrote this before photographing a new recipe while Little Bean was napping. Then I showered, put on my new bra (the inspiration for the post) and will now spend the afternoon with my baby. So here you go, the 5’8”, 150lb, 38 B bra wearing mom doing what she wants to be doing despite her insecurities…

Really, nothing else matters besides that?

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This morning I gave everyone on twitter and Facebook a good laugh when I said…

"The to-do list is written. Thursday’s about to become my bitch."

Well, not EVERYONE just those that caught it. Regardless, I meant what I said and guess what.. Thursday WAS my bitch. I got so much done [...]]]>

This morning I gave everyone on twitter and Facebook a good laugh when I said…

"The to-do list is written. Thursday’s about to become my bitch."

Well, not EVERYONE just those that caught it. Regardless, I meant what I said and guess what.. Thursday WAS my bitch. I got so much done today (including this post!) it wasn’t even funny!

And that’s the power of "The To-Do."

The To-Do List gives me direction, a sense of accomplishment, power against procrastination and a shot of motivation. It’s like a preemptive cure all.

This morning when I made my list I actually wrote down "BodyPump Class" amongst "Laughing Cow Article," "Prep Recipe Photos," "Organize Laundry Room" and "Ryan’s Swim Class."

Yes, those are actual entries on my list. I live a pretty uneventful life. It’s true, but that’s not what I realized today (I already knew that.) I realized there are pretty much 3 To-Do’s that my To-Do should, well, DO.

Did you get that?

OK, I’ll stop being cute. What I’m trying to say is I think everyone’s To-Do list should have 3 different types of tasks. One of which I think is currently being underrepresented.

1. Work Related Tasks

Definitely NOT the underrepresented one. Is it just me or does work related items dominate the list? For me this is mostly blogging related and writing stuff. I have emails and calls to return, photos to prep, comments to manage, code to write, etc., etc., etc.

2. Home/Family Tasks

The second most popular type of tasks on my to-do. These are the cleaning, chauffeuring, cooking, shopping, chore related things that are normally for others or the good of the group/family.

3. YOU Tasks

These are the ones we forget. The ones we tend to consider not as important. Things like take a bubble bath, read a book, go for a walk, draw a picture, call a friend, etc., etc, etc,

My goal (and I hope you’ll do it with me) is to start every day with a list of things I want to accomplish. I’m either going to make it the night before or the morning of. On my list each one of those categories will be represented with at least 1 task. There is no reason why I can’t do at least one "YOU task" every day. There just isn’t.

Today I checked off "BodyPump Class" even though I had to rearrange my schedule to fit it in. I’m not sure I would have been as diligent if I didn’t write it on the to-do.

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Tonight I peaked in after finishing my latest GreenLiteBites post, The Triscuit Coated Cod Meal Idea, [...]]]> I LOVE Pinterest. Every night I peak in for a few minutes and marvel at all the amazing stuff: the photos, the food, the tips, the inspiration. I rarely pin anymore as I’m too busy checking out everyone else’s!

Tonight I peaked in after finishing my latest GreenLiteBites post, The Triscuit Coated Cod Meal Idea, and saw this…

…from http://getfitordie.tumblr.com. The corresponding post offer some pretty good tips on creating habits.

It was a timely find for me. This morning I posted this on Facebook…

I’m hooked on my morning workouts again. Takes me about 2 weeks of dreading them first though. :)

Every Tuesday and Thursday I wake up at 5:30 AM, run to the gym, take a class and then run home. To some it sounds crazy, to others, excessive, but to me it’s 2 guaranteed workouts with no interruptions from kids, work, or husband, doing something I love.

Is getting up hard? At first, but after a few consistent weeks of going, I now look forward to it and wake up before my alarm even has a chance to go off.

A few things I learned about forming good habits, specifically workout related ones..

1. Be Realistic. Start slow. You aren’t going to become a fitness fanatic overnight. Start by committing to 1-2 workouts a week or even just a walk after dinner depending on where you are starting.
2. Just do it. It’s easy to talk yourself out of going to the gym or heading out the door for a walk or run, but I assure you taking the first step is the hardest. Shut off your brain and put yourself on autopilot. If you need a push reach out on twitter or Facebook for a nudge.
3. Know Yourself. If you loathe running don’t set a running goal as your first habit. Remember to "Find Your Basket Ball" Creating a habit around an activity you like is way easier then trying to be something your not.

Commit to forming 1 new active habit this month with me. Can you add a walk now that the weather is changing? Can you get up early one day a week for a run? How about a lunch time gym class? Yoga on the weekend?

Let’s do it!

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You know it’s true.

Check out other cool comics at EveryDayPeopleCartoons.com

I can’t believe I’m about to say this.

Don’t stone me, OK?

I’m not the biggest fan of Adele’s music.

*wince*

I know. I know. She won like 5 Grammy’s. I didn’t say she wasn’t good. Actually, I think she has an amazing voice, but I have to be in [...]]]>

I can’t believe I’m about to say this.

Don’t stone me, OK?

I’m not the biggest fan of Adele’s music.

*wince*

I know. I know. She won like 5 Grammy’s. I didn’t say she wasn’t good. Actually, I think she has an amazing voice, but I have to be in the right mood to listen to her music. What can I say? I’m a child of the 80s and 90s. I like cheesy 1-hit-wonders, alt rock, classic rock, punk and goofy songs I can dance to with my kids around the kitchen–Hello B-52s and The Isley Brothers!

That being said, I’m a HUGE Adele fan when it comes to body image and just being a plain old awesome woman! Recently she was interviewed by Anderson…

Let me repeat what she said there at the end…

The key is to–first of all–be happy with yourself and then you know, if you want to improve things you don’t like about yourself then do them after you–kind of–appreciate yourself.

Yes. Yes. YES!

She hit the nail square on the head.

I love Adele not for her music (although watching her perform does bring a tear to my eye.) I love her because she’s a confident woman who knows who she is and makes no apologies.

Now that’s inspirational.

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Just this week MO asked,

…How do you do everything that you do in one day?

And Amy said,

How much do you [...]]]> One of the Most Common Questions I get — especially on Sensational Sunday Posts — is how am I able to get so much done in a day.

Just this week MO asked,

…How do you do everything that you do in one day?

And Amy said,

How much do you actually plan out your Sundays? You always seem to get so much done that I wonder if you make a list or just let things happen.

I guess it’s time to share my secrets.

I invented a device that slows down time.

Really!

I did!

And I use it every Sunday.

It’s called a…

CAMERA – Catch All Moments Everyday Regardless of Activity.

This CAMERA slows time by making you stop and acknowledge what you are doing when you are doing it. It also has this amazing power that lets you peer back in time and reminisce moments you experienced during the day. All this leads to a sense of accomplishment and gratitude giving you motivation to wake up the next day and start all over again.

I’m sorry. I’m not sure where all that came from. I was trying to be clever, but honestly, I’m only partially joking. If you’ve seen my Sunday posts you know I take a lot of photos of some pretty mundane things:

laundry,

eating,

cooking,

playing a board game.

I do this to not only communicate what we did that day, but to try to express that it is the little things that matter in life, at least in my opinion. I’m sure if you took a moment to take a quick photo of everything you did in a 24 hour period you’d be quite surprised at what you actually accomplished.

Sundays have become a special day in my house. I literally grab the camera and document everything we do specifically for my posts. We also consciously try to do more to prepare for the week and reenergize the family. So, in all fairness you are only seeing a tiny slice of my life on a day that I specifically set out to accomplish as much as possible.

All of that being said I thought I’d still take a moment to share my overall thoughts on getting more done. If you haven’t read, Ask Roni: How I Stay “Organized” HA! take a moment. It will give you a bit of insight into my overall philosophy that I think actually helps me accomplish more. Go ahead, click here the tips below will still be here when you get back.

OK, back? On to 5 Easy Ways I Get More Done in a Day…

Wake Up Earlier

OK, this is a no brainer but I’m going to assume there actually are other people in the world like my husband. He can easily sleep until noon on Sunday, then around 4PM he almost always says something like, "Wow it’s so late! Where did the time go?"

Really? I’m been up since 6 AM, ran, made breakfast for the kids, cleaned up the living room, paid some bills, put kid #2 to nap, played cards with kid #1, responded to emails, started the laundry and ate lunch all while you were sleeping. Of COURSE I get more done in a day than you. Geesh!

Do NOT Turn on the TV

I’m not anti-TV. Really, I’m not! Actually if you follow me on twitter you KNOW. All I do is talk about Revenge and Once Upon a Time, oh! and The River! I watch Food Network more than anyone else I know, and I can’t fall asleep unless the Science Channel is on in the background.

I like me some TV BUT I rarely turn it on in the morning and if I do, those are always the days I accomplish a heck of a lot less. There’s just something about the background TV noise that makes me less productive and slow.

This counts for kids shows too. Cartoons are just as big of a time suck as the morning news. Shut it all off or don’t turn it on in the first place. Start your day with the radio or nothing at all! Getting something accomplished first thing sets the tone of the day. Watching the news does nothing but put you in passive mode.

Involve Everyone in Everything

You can argue that kids slow you down but if you think of it as killing 3 birds with one stone, you get more accomplished with them then without them. Yes, I said 3.

I’ll use our laundry adventures as an example. Every weekend we do the laundry. I could let Little Guy watch TV while I sorted and started. Instead we do it together while trying to make it fun in the process.

Now instead of getting the laundry done, I’m getting the laundry done, spending time with my son and teaching him that chores are a part of life.

3 Birds – 1 Stone.

I could also do all the folding in the basement while the husband watched the kids up stairs. Instead I bring the laundry up and we fold it in the living room together while watching TV and spending time together as a family. Again, instead of getting the laundry folded, I’m getting the laundry folded, spending time with my husband/family and watching TV.

3 Birds – 1 Stone

I do this with everything from emptying the dishwasher to making dinner to cleaning the bathrooms. Sure, there are some times I just focus and get something done alone but more often than not, I involved the family somehow. Recently, it was assembling a stroller. Now that was funny. lol Click here to see the story.

Make Plans but Be Flexible

So Amy asked above if I make plans or just let things happen and it’s a little bit of both. I always go into a weekend with few goals and activities in mind but then I play it by ear. I find this approach works best for me because if I over-plan, then without fail something will happen throwing us (me) off schedule. Then everything is "ruined," I get depressed, sit on the couch and do nothing.

It’s happened.

Instead, I say to myself…

"Boy, it would be nice to go rock wall climbing on Sunday or if it’s nice out we’ll take the kids to the park. I’d love to get a run in too. Maybe we can grab dinner out or I can make sauce in the morning and we’ll have pasta."

So I give myself options and if something doesn’t workout I have something else to fall back on without feeling like I failed or the day was ruined. This helps me stay positive and motivated which helps me get more done by the end of the day.

Disconnect

You may not believe this but I’m a bad phone person. The husband often asks me why I even bother having one at all. It’s true. I disrespect my phone.

I do it on purpose.

I know myself and I know how easily I can get caught up in whats happening online, on my blogs or in my inbox so I purposely "forget" my phone or shut it off or let the battery run out. I’m sure there’s a HUGE percentage of you nodding your head in disbelief saying something like, "I can’t live without my phone." or "I could never do that." or "I need it for emergencies."

Blah blah blah

You don’t need it, you WANT it and there’s nothing wrong with that but don’t tell me you can’t get anything done during the day if you are constantly checking email or texting or doing whatever.

Step away from outside distractions a few times a week and focus on something. Really focus and you may be surprised how much you can actually get done.

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I hinted about this post on Sunday and honestly, it’s been brewing in me for days. I just needed a quiet moment to actually collect my thoughts (without a baby in tow) and attempt to communicate them in a way that makes sense. Now that I have that moment, I’m pretty sure I’ll [...]]]>

I hinted about this post on Sunday and honestly, it’s been brewing in me for days. I just needed a quiet moment to actually collect my thoughts (without a baby in tow) and attempt to communicate them in a way that makes sense. Now that I have that moment, I’m pretty sure I’ll still ramble on excessively. Expect a long one and please forgive me for that cheesy "A-Ha" photo.

As you may know I’ve been trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight for 10 months now. Baby number 2 came almost 6 years after baby number 1 and 5 years after a 70lb weight loss that I have maintained happily (minus pregnancy gain of course.) I not only lost weight back then but I started to find myself. For as long as I can remember weight loss and a bad body image dominated my thoughts. (Read more of my weight history on the My Story page.)

If you’ve been reading for some time you know this. You’ve been on this journey with me. Maybe you were there when I reached goal in 2006 or when I had the tummy tuck or made the decisions to join a gym to or the first time I ran 5k on a treadmill.

*sigh* Running. Now there’s something I never thought I’d EVER do. Yet you were there the first time I ran a 5k and 5 miles and 10 and my first half and, in-spite of a rough year, a marathon. Yes, I ran a FREAKIN’ Marathon. To say it now it still seems unreal, impossible and unbelievable. So does climbing a rock wall and doing a pull-up but I did all of those things.

Yes, now I’m crying.

Over the years my approach to losing and maintaing weight ebbed and flowed. I went from weekly weighing to daily to none at all. I food journaled on paper, in email, twitter and even Excel. I counted points and ate intuitively. My diet has slowly shifted from convenience based foods (100 cal packs, Frozen Dinners) to more and more whole and unprocessed options.

For Pete’s Sake my favorite things to eat now are winter squashes and kale! Who am I?

No, really.

Who am I?

Well…

I am now someone who not only wakes up at 5:30 AM to go to the gym but WANTS to wake up at 5:30 to go to the gym because I know from experience how awesome I feel the rest of the day.

I am now someone who is not afraid to be naked in front of her husband. That may have been a bit TMI but it’s true and I know some of you out there know where I’m coming from.

I am now someone who can wear a bathing suit on a beach and enjoy herself. Not because I’m sporting the perfect body but because I’m having too much fun with my family to care what anyone else thinks.

I’m now someone who can go out to eat and not feel controlled by food, overwhelmed at the menu or anxious about making the right choice.

I am now someone who doesn’t starve herself after eating something "bad" and then sneaks food when no one is looking.

I am now someone who doesn’t shy away from things she wants to do or try or experience.

I am now someone who doesn’t care what the scale says because of everything listed above<–THAT was My A-Ha Moment.

These thoughts all came flooding to me when I received this comment from Tina on my latest weigh-in post….

Roni, did you ever think that possibly giving up the journaling might work in your favor? I see that you go back and forth with it, I think that you know by now exactly what your body needs and doesn’t need. I know that emotions play a huge part in that at times, but I think in my experience that “so called” dieting or keeping track always set me up for a binge at some point. Since I gave up counting points, calories etc. I have seen the most progress in my weight, and I also feel more relaxed with food. Just a thought.

Tina pointed out something I think I’ve been afraid to admit because it takes me further and further away from where I started and for some reason that’s scary. Here I thought I was doing the right thing by following my own example of what worked for me in the past.

6 years ago I counted points, food journaled and blogged my way to weight loss. It worked then so why shouldn’t it work now?

Ohhh yea… because I’m not the same person I was back then. I don’t need to learn what a portion is or that a banana is a better choice then pretzels or that drinking my calories isn’t "worth it." I don’t need a daily limit to stop me from eating because I can’t tell the difference between hunger or boredom or stress or exhaustion.

I’m not saying I know it all now but I know myself and I’ve learned a lot over the years. Why am I forcing myself to do something that’s not working for me now and why aren’t I trusting myself? Oh! and for Heaven’s sake WHY do I need to see some stupid number on some stupid scale when I am everything I ever wanted to be?

Happy.

~*~*~*~

P.S. I wanted to end the post right there on a "happy" note (pun intended) but while writing this I got an email from Annalisa and I feel the need to share it in this post.

Hi Roni! This is not an ask-Roni question but really a thank you. I’ve read your blog for a few years and I’ve always found you inspirational. Quick background – I lost 50 lbs a few years ago and kept it off until I had my first baby 9 months ago. I’m struggling with losing the weight. I’m 40lbs heavier that I am used to being and it gets demotivating when nothing changes week after week (I nurse, eat clean, lots of walks, etc). I’m working on it slowly but very little is happening. Anyway, my thank you is for you continual advice to ‘live your life’. I continue to sign up for things, meet new people, be active, etc. even though I am not comfortable in my own skin. I noticed this over the weekend when I signed up for mommy and me swim classes. OMG – I had to wear a swim suit! I thought about not going but I am so GLAD I did! My daughter loved it – and so did I. I sometimes even hesitate to take pictures/videos of us as a family since I’m so much bigger but I realize this is a time in my life I don’t get to repeat so I need to suck it up and embrace everything around me. I don’t think I would have this attitude if I haven’t read your blog all these years. I would truly be a SAHM and never leave the house. Instead, I bought bigger pants and kept going. Thank you!

This blog started out as a weight loss journal but now it means so much more to me and hopefully, to you. I don’t mind helping people lose weight, it’s how I got started on this whole journey. But what I really want to do is change people attitudes about themselves, their bodies and their lives. That’s my real goal. Weight loss is just the byproduct.

Thank YOU Annalisa for solidifying my A-Ha moment. :)

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