Topics covered in the video. . .

• Calculating Weight Watcher Points
• Finding Motivation
• Eating While Pregnant
• My Thoughts on VSG
• More on Points.

Links Mentioned in the video. . .

• FitBloggin
• http://recipes.sparkpeople.com
• http://www.nutritiondata.com/
• VSG Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy

How do you get past the "I’m not seeing results and feel like a complete cow" thing?  I’ve been working my ass off (literally!) and I feel like when I look in the mirror, my stomach hangs lower, sticks out further and I’m going NOWHERE.  Its driving me CRAZY and I don’t really know what else I should be doing.  I run 2-3 miles, 4 times a week, watch what I eat etc, etc, etc.  I just want to lose this freaking weight that WILL NOT come off!
-Amanda

Hi Amanda. This is a tough one. There are 2 separate things I need to address. . .

1. I have no idea how much you have lost, need to lose, are eating, are not eating so it’s really hard for me to give you any kind advice. Which I can’t really give anyway because I’m not an expert. Although that hasn’t stopped me from giving my opinion yet. :)

2. Ignoring #1, I will say that your email saddens me. You are hinging all your success/happiness on things that may be out of your control. Girl, you are running 4 times a week! That is a HUGE accomplishment. OWN it! Pat yourself on the back!

Seriously, I want you to think about what makes you happy. You hint in your email that losing weight will do it. That’s what I always thought too.

Let me be real honest here, I can give you a laundry list of things I still don’t like about my body SINCE losing the weight. I can give you another list of things I don’t like since getting older. My point is you can NOT hinge your happiness on some magical moment when the weight is gone. Life is too short and you will never be perfect.

Let me repeat… you will never be perfect. <–Sorry I needed to remind MYSELF again. :)

You ask… How do you get past the "I’m not seeing results and feel like a complete cow" thing.

You just do.

You realize life is so much more then the way your body looks and what the scale says. You decide "watching what you eat" is something you WANT to do not something you HAVE to do to simply drop pounds.

I’m sorry I don’t have an easy answer for you Amanda. I wish I had some magic formula to share but unfortunately it comes down to slapping yourself besides the head and realizing life is too short to hinge your happiness on your body size.

I realize this is not the answer you were seeking and I hope I didn’t offend. I made some assumptions that may not be true. Either way, I know getting over the body image thing is WAY easier said then done. It’s something I am continually working on myself.

-Roni

Any other words of wisdom for Amanda?

So tonight I thought I would try again (the being positive thing) by plucking few Ask Roni questions to answer. The first one brought a tear to my eye and stopped me in my tracks.

Dear Roni,
On your videos, you always talk about how you ramble. I am a rambler too, so please excuse me if I get side tracked. By the way, I don’t see rambling as bad, it just means that we have a lot of thoughts or feelings to express.

Anyway, This isn’t really a question, but a big thank you. It’s kind of funny.. I feel like I really know you, because I am always reading your blog, but you don’t know me. So here’s my story. In May of 2008, I went on a vacation to the beach in North Carolina with some good friends from University that I don’t get to see very often. I looked at all the pictures and couldn’t believe what I saw. I was so unhappy with myself that I had let my weight get to that point (I weighed 200lbs—I am 5’6). I began a journey where I have lost a little over 50lbs and have been maintaining that loss for a few months now. During this journey, I started to not only lose the weight and feel better about myself, but to try new things that I never thought I could do. For example, I, like you, found a passion for running. Who knew I could be an athlete? I started to learn how to cook healthy things for myself Who knew I could cook? I started with weight watchers, but have started to bridge my own path because I want to learn more about nutrition and how to properly fuel my body. I have signed up to participate in an event in Toronto (where I live) called the CN tower stair climb, where I will climb 1,776 stairs and have raised money to benefit WWF (World Wildlife Fund, not the sweaty wrestlers). I have always wanted to do this event, but never believed in myself to do it. I always thought I could never be like the people that did those sorts of things, until I started to do them. I’m sure you know what I mean.

You, through your blogs and thoughts and experiences that you share and videos have slowly made me realize that it is my thoughts that have kept me from being able to do what I wanted, not my body. My body was just expressing the unhappiness and lack of control that existed in my life. (It’s kind of like the wizard of oz where they all realize they’ve always had the power within themselves–cheesy, I know, but true nonetheless). Today, I signed up to complete two half marathons this year, and I just started running like you, and it blows my mind how far I’ve come. This made me realize that I really need to thank you. The question that you posted last week about your "actual goal" really got me thinking. Weight loss was for so long my goal. At least it seemed that way on the outside, but there has really been more to it all along. Through reaching my goal of weight loss I have had to accomplish so many things such as changing my thinking, changing my fitness, changing the way I eat, etc. So, what has been the actual goal of this all along? I think for me, it was to bridge a better relationship with myself and to give myself the chance to be someone that I liked. When I looked at that picture last year from my vacation, I was physically unhappy but also very mentally and emotionally unhappy with who I was. This has been very long-winded and probably very sappy, but I wanted to let you know that there are people out here who don’t always comment, but really benefit from the advice and inspiration that you give out through your blogs. Thank you for being so real and sharing your experiences. All the best to you!
Dotty

Dotty,

Thank you so much for "de-lurking" and sending me this amazing email. Sometimes these funks I get into make me lose sight of my goals. This blog may have started as a way to help me stay accountable but over the course of these almost 5 years (holy smokes!) it’s become so much more then that.

The way you described your realization that there was more then weight loss all along is EXACTLY how I feel. It’s amazing what happens when that switch gets flipped. I wish I could go around flipping it in others (there’s a mental picture for you. lol) I hope by sharing my thoughts and experiences it does that for some.

Thanks again. I really did need this tonight. You have helped me more the you realize and I thank you. :)

-Roni

P.S. Updates on all those amazing events please!!! Did you run the two half marathons?!?

Here’s my menu today. . . Two days home and cooking is helping the funk immensely!

Table provided by Roni’s Food Tweet, Eat, Post Generator.

Roni I need some advice. Three years ago I weighed 206 today I weigh 160. I have come a long way. My problem is last year I was really healthy. When I lost this weight I really got into exercise. I felt I had to exercise all the time. Now I have gotten in a funk. I use to get up every morning at 4:20 a.m. and do a cardio dvd for 30 minutes, then prepare healthy food for the day and get my 2 boys off and ready for school. By 6:45 a.m. I was hitting the pavement and walking. I did this every day 5 days a week for three years. I eventually started running. I am not very well at this but I try. I have done 3 5k. Running is something I have always wanted to do. I can’t seem to get it though. I end up having to walk then run a while then walk. Well now I don’t want to do anything! Not even walk. And this stuff I use to enjoy. How do I get this back. Last year my weight at Christmas was 144 I was fit and healthy. Today I am16 pounds heavier and feel awful. Please give me some advice as to how to find myself again.
Thanks you so much for your time. I really enjoy your websites.
Rhonda

Rhonda,

I feel you. I really do. I no where NEAR have the desire or motivation to do what I was doing last year at this time. I’m not sure what’s up with that.

What do I do?

What I can.

1. For starters I do NOT beat myself up about it. That will get you no where. There is no right or wrong or good or bad when it comes to what you choose to do for yourself. If you are anything like me you end up punishing yourself for not working out by ordering a pizza or going out to eat. This will get you no where. Let’s disconnect that part of our logic, ok?
2. Second, accept that you may have changed. It happens to all of us. If running isn’t motivating you anymore try a class at the gym or find a friend that wants to play racquetball or tennis. I find that when I change it up I get a little jolt of motivation purely for the fact I’m doing something new. I just did this with a new class at my gym. I signed up for a 12 week boot camp session on Saturday mornings because I was simply unmotivated to do anything else. I’m hoping the variety and commitment will help me get back into the groove.
3. Third, pat yourself on the back and own your accomplishments!

   "Running is something I have always wanted to do. I can’t seem to get it though. I end up having to walk then run a while then walk."
   Ummm I hate to break it to you Rhonda, you ran 3 5k’s not many people can say that. You are doing great! Own it!

4. Fourth, Don’t spend time worrying on how much more you weigh. This will get you no where. I know it’s WAY easier said then done but find something else to focus on like your new workout routine or some new healthy recipes to try. Again, if you are like me you will drown your sorrows about your weight with food. I still fight this urge but let me tell you, as someone who is maintinging this loss for almost 5 years now, the thing that stops me from going back is not beating myself up about the little gains. And yes I have them. It’s when you let them drag you down into funkville that there’s a problem. Keep trucking. Keep moing forward. Life is worth living and it’s not worth worrying about a number on the scale.
5. Finally, accept that you may just need a break. 5 days a week waking at 4:20 and working out. That’s a pace not many can maintain. You may have just burned yourself out! Do what you can when you can and don’t beat yourself up for taking a break. We all need one now and then.

I hope that helps. Chin up girl. You are awesome and you are maintining an amazing weight loss! As my Weight Watchers leader once said… Mainting is harder then losing. No one is patting you on the back and saying "Look at you! Good job maintaining that weight loss there!" :)

-Roni

Topics included in this video…

• Finding Workout Music
• Stuck in a Plateau
• Knee pain while running
• Overtraining

Links mentioned in the video…

• All my posts with play lists
• Sonic Tap
• Turn Up My Workout
• WorkoutMusic.com
• My old video post where I talk about plateau
• How to avoid knee injuries when running
• 10 Signs Of Overtraining

Here’s her question…

My question concerns learning to love and accept my body as it is now, before I can make lasting positive changes. While I completely believe and understand this concept, I can’t help but mourn for the body I had just 4 years ago. I was never overweight until I had my daughter (early 20’s) lost the baby fat 3 years later then put on about 5 lbs a year for 8 years. 4 to 5 years ago, I took off 30 lbs. It took me a year and a half to do it, and I only kept the weight off for about a year. Now I’ve gained 20 of the 30 lbs back over the course of 4 years. The trouble is, because I was still enjoying the glow of being in a body I really enjoyed, it took my eyes a long time to catch up to my weight gain, to realize what I actually looked like. Over the last 6 months I have truely "seen" what my body looks like and I can’t help but LONG for the way I used to look. How can I love the body I have now when the body I loved seems to be in the not so distant past? Even though I’ve been putting on weight for 4 years, it FEELS like it just happened and my brain is going, Wait! No wait! Go back! I hope this makes sense. If it does, do you have any advice? Thanks Roni. I love all of your Blogs.

Hi Dani,

This is one of the toughest questions I get. Self acceptance and body image are the two biggest things I struggle with and have struggled with for as long as I can remember. My story is a bit opposite of yours as I saw myself as fat before I ever got there and it wasn’t until I was able to get passed it did I find my weigh. Get it? Weigh? as in Roni’s Weigh.

Ok, bad joke on a serious topic. Sorry, I tend to do that in awkward situations and this questions makes me tense.

Here’s why…. It’s SO easy for me to sit here and type and tell you you must accept yourself and move on but I know how that sounds and I know how you feel. I’ve been in a body that I hated and I’ve longed to be thin so badly I would have done anything. ANYTHING!

But here’s the deal. I’m still not 100% happy. Sure, I’ll admit it. Who is? Would I love to walk around looking like an air brushed Victoria Secret model? of course. But guess what… I lumpy, I’m bumpy. I have stretch marks and surgery scars. My face is aging. I have laugh lines and acne. My arms flap when I lift them and my veins show in my hands an on my legs. I could on and on.

I’m HUMAN!

Do I long to look like I did when I was 18. Sure. But guess what I hated myself then. Now I look back and wonder what the hell I was smoking.

My point is you will NEVER be happy in your skin until you accept that perfection is out of the question. You mention in your email that you didn’t notice the weight gain because you were enjoying yourself.. Dude… that is awesome. Get back to that place. You can still work on losing weight if you want but I’m telling ya, you will not be successful unless you are at THAT place.

What you don’t want to do is feel sorry for yourself and medicate with food. Which is what I did for 15 years. Self acceptance doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing. You can, you MUST, recognize that you are a human being and life is more then the size of your pants. It’s not stopping because you are a few pounds over weight and it won’t miraculously be perfect if you happen to lose that weight.

That was my a-ha moment.

Geesh.. Where did all that all come from? It shot out of my in like 2 minutes. lol I’m not even sure it all made sense.

I hope that helps a little!

Does anyone else have any advice for Dani?

Topics included in this video…

• Becoming Scale Independent
• Staying on Plan
• Coping with Binge Eating
• Gaining Weight After Exercise
• Choosing a Goal Weight

Links mentioned in the video…

• It’s not called the shark! It’s the Mouse Massager. This thing does wonders for my back!
• My Scale Habit History
• My Core Hurt Eating – A MUST Read for those that Overeat
• Butternut Squash Fries
• The Story of 3 Boxes of Candy

Topics included in this video…

• My Thoughts on Intuitive Eating and Food Journaling
• Starting Points At Dinner
• Eating to Gain?
• Has Losing Weight Changed Me?
• Storing Spaghetti Squash
• Storing Baked Goods
• Taking Pictures on a Run/Twittering through the Marathon

Warning: It’s a long one.. let it load a bit. :)

Related links and links that were mentioned…

• My Twitter Food Journal
• 3 Steps to a Healthier YOU! – Step 1. Self-Acceptance
• I Can Climb Mountains! (My Rock Climbing Post)
• Spaghetti Squash Links
  • Preparing Spaghetti Squash – Video Post
  • Zucchini and Spaghetti Squash “Lasagna”
  • Simple Spaghetti Squash – Video Post
  • Sweet Salmon & Peas over Spaghetti Squash
• Honey Almond Bites (Almond Milk Take II)
• 12 Miles, Chicago Pizza with a Side of BlogHer
• Gracie’s Gear Sports Bra

Hi Roni,

I’ve been on your website quite a few times in the past but this time something came over me and I felt compelled to email you… hopefully I’m not bothering you by doing this…

Anyways, I am a new member to Weight Watchers, i wanted some motivation so I was reading your success story and noticed that you lost quite a bit more weight then I have in the first couple weeks… I weighed in yesterday for Week 7 and I have lost 10.6 to date… I am happy with the fact that I have lost the weight but I’m getting married and would just love to lose about 2lbs a week(nothing crazy :p)… I just wanted to know what you did/ate during your first couple weeks… I’ve been eating all my points and feel like maybe that’s the problem? but i read on your website that you used/use all of your points as well… I am aware that this may sound ridiculous, to some losing weight is losing weight its just I feel like I am trying hard and sticking to me points range daily! So any help you can provide me with would be great!

I really appreciate it! I also just want to thank you for your inspirational story and fantastic website full of resources ( I have already downloaded the weight progress chart)….

Thanks,
Maggie, a struggling bride to be on a weight loss journey!

Hi Maggie,

I’m so sorry for the late response. My life has been insane!

As for your question you aren’t going to like my answer. NEVER COMPARE! :) You really can’t compare and knowing what I ate won’t really help you. Our bodies are different, our situations are different. Remember I just had a baby so I might have had more much water weight then you. My starting diet may have been so drastically different I shocked my system, There are a whole host of variables to take into consideration. That being said, the best thing I did and what was so different about my diet when I started losing was eating small meals/snacks instead of large meals. I really went to a grazing style and that seemed to help the weight come off. You know, 1 point here, 3 there, then maybe a 5 point lunch, followed by a 2 point snack an hour or two later and so on.. That worked wonders for me. But again, our bodies are different and comparing will only get you frustrated.

I don’t think it sounds ridiculous but it does sound like you are not yet in the right mindset. You really can’t worry about how long it’s going to take. By putting those pressures on yourself you are adding a layer of stress that may trigger unhappiness, discontentment and frustration. Just keep doing what your are doing! Your new habits are working!

Hope that helps (even though I’m not sure I answered you :)

-Roni

• Oh NO! 4 cookies.
• Olive OIl Spray vs. Drizzle
• Healthy vs. Lite?
• Lose to a Low Point only to game a bit back
• Getting over the scale when you are doing everything right.

Links Mentioned

• We are the Real Deal
• Quick Sugar Snap Peas
• Do you ever just feel fat?