Not surprisingly, a few MONTHS ago Kara Richardson Whitely sent me her book, Fat Woman on the Mountain: How I lost half myself and found happiness. It’s been on my must read list since meeting Kara at last years FitBloggin’ conference. She mentioned the book would be coming out this fall and I was happy to get her email when it did.

The book is about Kara’s journey to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest peak. Kara isn’t you typical mountain climber. She is an inspirational 120lb loser. In the book, she spends a couple of chapters talking about her childhood and weight struggles but her story is so much more than weight loss. It’s an inspirational tale of a woman who set a goal regardless of her weight or what people thought of it.

In her own words…

At age 30, I was lost within my own body.  I dreamed of climbing
mountains but the only thing that went up was my weight — to
about 360 pounds.

During one New Year’s Eve, it all changed when I wrote down
what wanted to do instead of how many pounds I wanted to lose.  I decided to look at weight loss as a lifelong journey and I got
moving. I resolved to climb mountains.

How inspirational is THAT?!? As someone who let her body image get in the way of life for too many years and I can totally relate to Kara and her story. Her book was moving, inspirational and motivating. REALLY motivating. While I was reading it, the husband was starting to get worried that I might sign up to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. That’s how much I was talking about it.

Kara woke up one day and just did it. No excuses. No feeling sorry for herself. She put in the work and did the best she could. There is nothing more motivational than that.

Click here to order Kara’s book, Fat Woman on the Mountain: How I Lost Half of Myself and Found Happiness.

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AMAZING!

Shauna was nice enough to ask me if she could stop by on her book tour and of course I accepted. Although I warned her that she’d have to work for it! I have a habit of doing that. ;~P

Thankfully, Shauna agreed. :)

When I am on this weight loss journey I cannot help but to think…"will I have to do this for the rest of my life?" How do your resign to this fact that this will be your reality and what did you tell yourself?
Sandra

Dietgirl: It’s sad but true dear Sandra – it never ends. I have to admit that used to depress the hell out of me. But then I realized, hang on… I’m in the drivers seat here! I may have to do this Healthy Stuff for the rest of my life… but I can decide how and what that will involve. I get to decide how and when I exercise, how and what I eat. I can make it fun and enjoyable! It gets easier if you treat it a wee bit like an adventure. It’s taken me a lot of trial and error – gazillions of crappy recipes and abandoned fitness DVDs and failed experiments to figure out the sorts of food and exercise I truly enjoy — what I find enjoyable or at least tolerable, rather than a dreaded chore. Trying taking all the bits you like from diets you’ve tried, blogs you’ve read, and make them your own. If you do what you enjoy, you will find it easier to stick to. So once you reach your goal, you won’t mind carrying on. It will just be the way you live your life, rather than a diet you’re enslaved to.

Roni: What a great question and Shauna’s answer is dead on. I’d only like to add… "do what?" I’m not asking that to be mean and make you feel bad but seriously what I do now is so much better then what I did then. "Then" when I was yo-yo’ing and fighting myself every step of the way I was unhappy. I was uncomfortable with myself, unhealthy and just, well… blech.

"Now" I feel great! I have energy! I’m comfortable in my skin and with who I am. I am healthy an it feels great. So if "doing this" is what it takes to feel the way I feel, I’m totally cool with that.

It’s a lot about mindset and attitude. If it still feels like a chore then you may want to change your approach becuase as Shauna said it should be "the way you live your life, rather than a diet you’re enslaved to."

I am noticing that some weeks when I haven’t gone over points, when I have done everything right, I lose very little weight. Sometimes it is after a big loss the week before, and sometimes it is maybe because of the time of the month or whatever. When you were in losing mode, did you ever experience this and if so, how did you keep your morale up on those weeks? I tend to be bummed if my loss isn’t very much. (For example this week it was .2 pounds.) I know I should be happy with any loss at all, its a little hard when I feel like I should be seeing results faster. Any tips?
Jen (aka SkinnyHabits)

Dietgirl: Hiya Jen, Weekly weigh-ins can be so frustrating since our bodies seem to refuse to work on a 7-day timetable like weigh-in days. How rude! Sometimes your hard work takes longer to make a difference to the numbers. So many times during my weight loss phase I’d been positively ANGELIC then the weigh-in just did not reflect that. It felt like a kick in the guts! But to keep my morale up, I’d look at my progress from a non-weigh-in perspectives, such as:

• averaging my weight loss over a four-week period. I’d lose big some weeks, stay the same or gain others, but most months it would average out pretty evenly. If I could see a downward trend over time, the weekly fluctuations didn’t phase me so much.
• taking regular progress photos, wearing the same clothes in the same place from front, back and side angles. I did this in my underwear and buried it in a dark corner of my computer, for my eyes only! But it helped me see visual proof of my hard work – subtle changes in shape or new muscles emerging… hooray!
• making a list of all the great things I’d done that week – exercise, eating choices, trying something new – and patting myself on the back!

The scale is not the only measure of your progress. Each week you’re building up new habits and skills to help keep you healthy for the rest of your *life*, so don’t let that once-a-week encounter drag you down :)

Roni: Wow Shauna, I LOVE those tips. I’d just like to add (and I know no one ever wants to hear this) slow and steady does win the race. Every little bit counts. I always like to ask people how they think the scale would have looked if they ate off plan. Do you think you would have seen the same number? Or would it have been less weight? Maybe a gain? Own your achievements, every little decision you make, every .2 that comes off is something you worked hard for. I say pat yourself on the back!

Hi Roni! My name is Hollie and I have been reading your blog for a while now and find it to be a wonderful source for motivation. Thanks for all you do! My question has to do with motivation. I know you\’ve talked a lot about this, so I apologize if this seems repetitive. I began my weight loss journey a few weeks ago and have been eating very well according to Weight Watchers, abiding by the points system and exercising by walking and jogging and doing tae bo. My goal is to lose 125 pounds, and I feel confident that I am ready to tackle my weight demons once and for all after doing some major soul searching. However, this is not the first time I have tried Weight Watchers and a journey towards weight loss. During my past attempts to get healthy and fit, I would do the same thing I seem to be doing now. I would go all-out and be completely gung-ho about it for a few weeks, then feel like it\’s not working and therefore begin to lose motivation. I\’ve always been an instant gratification kind of person (hence the weight issue), so it makes sense why I would want to see big results NOW! However, the practical side of me realizes that trying to lose as much weight as I want to lose takes time and patience and that it won\’t happen over night. So finally, the question – what advice can you give to someone who is antsy about seeing results immediately, and how can they stay motivated to continue living a healthy lifestyle?
Hollie

Dietgirl: Hiya Hollie. I can relate to your wanting to see results immediately being a very impatient person myself! I had 175 pounds to lose and after a few months, I felt like I’d worked so darn hard and made so many changes, so why hadn’t all the pounds vanished already!? But the reality is, it’s going to take awhile. My answer here is a combination of what I said to Jen and Sandra above. It’s easier to stay motivated if you do things you enjoy, and make sure your focus is not all about the scale.

I had to find a variety of ways to indulge the gung-ho part of my personality that needed to see RESULTS. An example: I took up weight training, so 1) I had a new interest to learn about and throw myself into and 2) I could challenge myself to gradually lifting heavier weights as another measure of seeing results.

There are so many ways you can challenge yourself:

• buy a fitness DVD with multiple levels of difficulty and challenge yourself to progress
• train for a 5K race with something like the Couch to 5K program – gives you a great goal that’s not about weight loss
• make a list of healthy recipes (don’t forget Green Lite Bites!) and try two each week

The other thing I found helpful was writing a list of reasons why I wanted to lose weight and exactly what I hoped to achieve. I’d read through that list whenever I needed a positive reminder of what all my efforts were for. It would also cheer me up to see how far I’d come!

Roni: I agree with Shauna, again, of course. :) But seriously, I look at it this way… It took me a long time to gain weight (although I agree it seemed easier and more fun to do so) I didn’t wake up after one meal, look down and realize I needed a bigger size. Same is true sending the scale the other way. What Shauna said is great because all of those things give you healthy distractions. Sad to say but that’s what you need to do, distract yourself. Stay on your plan, have faith in it and find something to do with your mind. Have you ever noticed how times flies when you are really involved in something? Well weight loss is susceptible to that effect. Focus day by day on your plan. Focus on a new activity outlets, taking walks, going to the gym. Have fun in the kitchen, catching up with online friends instead of focusing on the scale, time with pass. All of a sudden it’s weigh in day and… boy! look at that… you lost, again! :)

WOW how awesome was that?! I can’t Thanks Dietgirl enough for sharing her insights and fabulous tips!!

OH! and how cool is THIS! Shauna is going to be on The Early Show on CBS this Friday Jan 16!! Tune in to hear her awesome accent! It will give you a whole new perspective when reading her book and blog. :~P

If you are interested in purchasing The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl click here to order it on Amazon.

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However, I know when I was in my "yo-yo diet cycle of hell" stage it wasn’t about losing pesky fat it was about learning how to have a good relationship with food. How to stop that cycle of on/off diet mentality, the binge eating and the poor body image. The truth is, at that time, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to really learn what Leigh is trying to teach. I needed to first accept myself. Now that I broke the cycle I can appreciate her knowledge and approach it from the perspective of educating me instead of a quick fix.

Why am I telling you this? Well when Leigh contacted me I was hesitant to share he book. Not because I think it’s a bogus attempt at weight loss. On the contrary I think it’s a great collection of resources. But I know "old Roni" would drop tons of money to buy this thinking, "Yes! This is it…. I’ll just read this book and I’ll be in a bikini in no time!" But the truth is I’d read the book, get motivated for about a day and then go directly back to my old habits. Why? Because I wasn’t ready to learn what Leigh was teaching.

All of that being said I came to the realization that all of you aren’t "Old Roni’s." Some of you may be ready and interested in learning more. So why not go to the source and ask Leigh what she thought! Then you can make a educated decision.

So without further ado I present Leigh Peele…

Hi Leigh! Can you introduce yourself for those readers who may not be familiar with your blog.

My name is Leigh Peele. I am a author and trainer with a special focus on metabolism and fat loss both in training and research. Peoples general take and like of me is my straight forward approach. I tell it like it is but hopefully without ruffling too many feathers. I love learning, I love helping women, and I love my job.

You recently launched a eBook called Fat Loss Troubleshoot and share a wealth of information about losing weight and fighting fat. What do you think is the number one reason why people have such a hard time losing weight?

The top, the absolute top reason that people have a hard time losing fat is not understanding how it happens in the first place.If you took a bunch of 8 year old kids and threw them into a car and told them to drive the car and they kept running it into the curb and wrecking it, would you be surprised? No. You would say "aww they just don’t know how to drive." Well, the majority of people in America don’t know how to drive the fat loss "car" and it is this problem that I am hoping to help correct. It is kind of hard to blame them when they have "driving ed" teachers who are educationally challenge. If your readers take anything else away from this interview it should be that fat loss is not an opinion. Your APPROACH to fat loss can vary, yes. The method can be a huge variety, but the technical physical effect of fat loss, is not an opinion.

What do you say to clients who may struggle more with motivation then anything else?

It’s hard because at first I am like the parents who tell their children that Santa isn’t real. People get angry sometimes because I take away their excuses. Once that happens they have to face the harsh truth, and there is a lot of anger involved sometimes. The anger is no so much towards me, but society, and the lies they have been told. So the first thing I help my clients deal with is the reality of all the control that is in their hands I help them deal with the fact that they want their success or failure to be their own fault. This is truly one of the most important things you could have for motivation; being accountable for your actions.

After that then I try to understand the reason a person is trying to change their body. Let’s be honest, the majority of the time the reasons are deemed "shallow" reasons. We apparently should only lose fat, or change the way we eat for health. I don’t agree, or I have a different view of health. From a study aspect, those who feel better about how they look, and have a higher level of self esteem, have better overall health. Those who think fat loss is nothing but a society stuffed vanity fix can look at the facts.

Honesty is the best policy, you want to look hot in a bikini to turn your husband on, or you want to give the "I’m a hottie finger" to a guy that picked on your in high school? Well, you have my support, 100%.

Being someone who’s constantly struggling with emotional eating and a "healthy" appetite do you have any tips to help control hunger?

Hunger is a funny thing. There are so many different causes of "hunger" and fixes or tricks for them. In my book I discuss the five different labels of hunger.

1. Thirst Hunger
2. Addictive Hunger
3. Sugar Crash Hunger
4. Psychological Hunger
5. Hunger Pangs

Each hunger has its different reason ranging from thirst to actual physical hunger. There are some good tricks though that anyone can use to help when the moments come on. Teas, taking baths, eating more fiber, eating more protein, not over training, and getting more sleep.

The funny is physical hunger is very rarely felt and if anyone knows what I am talking about, they can think of the feeling in the pit of your stomach, the feeling of a little whoozy, sick to the stomach, and an actual "gnawing" feeling. That is actual physical hunger, and it comes slowly and with time.

Quick Tip: If you all of a sudden feel hungry, it isn’t hunger. ;)

How do you feel about diet plans, like Weight Watchers or South Beach?

I get asked this a lot actually. People think because of my forward approach that I am against these programs. The truth is that most programs in the mainstream market have their positives and negatives. Of the two, I would lean more towards South Beach because they encourage more whole foods and protein intake then Weight Watchers. However, Weight Watchers is a little better at tricking you into a deficit and you will likely see more physical weight loss.

My problem with these programs is they don’t actually tell you what you are doing, they try and seduce you into believing you aren’t dieting ,or that things are a way of life. "Stop dieting. Start living." The problem with this approach is that no one does, or should do Weight Watchers for life. Weight Watchers goal is to put you in a deficit of calories to lose fat. Being in a deficit, for life, is not living. Hence why it doesn’t work in the long term because like any sane person would, you stop the deficit. I can’t tell you how many times I sit and overhear conversations on dieting and fat loss and most of them lead to Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. They always say this phrase "Weight watchers worked pretty well the last time I did it, I am going to give it a run again." If it worked so well before, why are you doing it again?

Now, let me say that if you just feel off the wagon, knew exactly why you re-gained the weight, and just like their points/portion system then that is fine, that is one thing. However, the majority of people don’t get it, they don’t understand why it worked when it did, and are going through it all over again blind. That is my problem with those type programs, their lack of telling you straight out how it is, and why you are doing their method.

Knowing that you are a personal trainer "to the stars" :) What do you say to the everyday busy mom who struggles with time management, stress and motivation? Do you have must share tips for them (me)?

One of the best tips, for anyone, is to understand weight loss and health are two completely different things. Yes, they can go hand in hand. For example, if you are obese losing fat can certainly lead to a better well being. However, there is nothing healthy about losing weight. The goal is to deprive and turn to your storage for energy and use. If you look in the wild, winter is not exactly the best time for spunky animals. They are weak from low food intake. The best tip to lower stress is to not add it as much as possible. If you want to train great, but be smart about it,, and do only what you have to do to get caloric burn. Focus on sleep, good foods, laughing, etc. All that hinky seeming "holistic" stuff does have truth in the aspect of stress management. Studies show time and again being less stressed out always leads to better dietary compliance. Will getting a massage or 8 hours of sleep cause you to magically lose fat or help if you are stuffing too much food? No, but it will help you not stuff in the first place.

The take home point is take time for you, and only do what you have to. If you can lose fat without training because you move enough in a day, then don’t worry about the gym. Screw it, take that extra hour, and go shopping or just relax instead.

Thank you so Much Leigh! Knowing your stance on these topics really helped me get a better understanding of your approach to weight loss!

If you are interested in Leigh’s information click here to order her eBook Fat Loss Troubleshoot. Also be sure to check out her blog AvidityFitness.net

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The book features the Think Thin Eating Plan. At first I thought it was going to be just another "diet" book telling me to eat this and not that, watch carbs, limit fat, increase protein, yada yada. That’s what they all tell us, isn’t it? The funny thing is most of us know WHAT we should be eating yet we still continue to make the bad choices. Why is that?

Cue The Beck Diet…

I was surprised to find in its pages a focus on mindset, thinking and motivation. Strategies on how to start, while stopping sabotaging thoughts (something I know very well). Activities were broken down into easy to follow tasks. Seriously, and I’m not kidding this book highlights a lot of the same strategies I use and try to share with you. For example Dr. Beck even has a "Prove to yourself that hunger is not an emergency" experiment! I tell myself that ALL the time (an coincidently post about it. ;)

The book spends most of it’s time really teaching you how to change your thought process and approach to dieting. Even at one point saying….

…you will focus primarily on building skills now. If you would like to get a jump start, you can do the following:

• Limit junk food to once a day.
• Eliminate caloric beverages.
• Eat vegetables and/or salad at the beginning of each lunch and dinner.
• Include Protein-rich foods at every meal.
• Eat fruit or protein at the beginning if (or for) each snack.

Once you get a good introduction to the "attitude" side of the diet. Dr. Beck moves to the plan. Which, based on a simple calculation, puts you into a calorie level. The book continues to give great strategies for dealing with different situations, like going out, Holidays, traveling, etc. It also has great activities, recipes, food lists, worksheets and even a weight loss graph to fill in.

Honestly, no matter the "diet" plan you are on (Weight Watchers, South Beach, even your own) this book can help you approach dieting from a new angle. Yes it’s about losing weight but this is the first book I’ve seen in a long time that doesn’t focus mostly on the food. It’s really more about your mindset. Which I think is the hardest part of weight loss. I know I used to self-sabotage all the time and still have to call myself down from the ledge now and then.

If you are intersted in checking it out Click here to order The Complete Beck Diet on Amazon for only $16.47! I thought that was a great price!

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Instead of a traditional blog interview I decided to put Jennette to work! She has such an awesome prospective and you guys have got to be getting bored with me, no? So I asked Jennette to offer insight on a few ‘Ask Roni’ questions.

Here goes!

Roni, I’m 20lbs overweight and having a very hard time getting motivated to go to the gym. I’ve never been this bad before. I’m an emotional eater and eat when I’m stressed out and bored. How can I snap out of being lazy?
-Reena

Pastaqueen: I’ve been having a rather tough time hauling my ass to the gym lately too. The YMCA has been happy to keep taking my money even though I haven’t been using their treadmills. My problem stems partly from the fact that I got out of my routine. The force of habit is a very powerful force. I do best when I’m always exercising at the same time, be it when I come home or if I get up early for a run before work. If I always set that time aside for exercise I’m more likely to stick with it. I recommend that you try to set up some routines for exercising and eating. The hardest part is sticking to them for the first couple weeks, but after that it will seem more normal to use that time for exercise than it will to NOT be exercising. Good luck to both of us!

Roni: I totally agree with Jennette, it’s a matter of habit but starting (or restarting) that habit is tough when you fall off track. For me, I tell myself that the gym is MY TIME and I’m TAKING IT! I deserve to do something for myself and if I don’t no one else will.

Hi Roni,

I find you very inspirational and encouraging. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and recipes! My question has to do with purchasing clothes while slimming down. I’m in a very slow process of slightly changing habits in hopes of making permanent changes. And it’s working, but only a few pounds at a time. I carry most of my weight in my hips, thighs, and butt and I’ve noticed that my pants just don’t fit anymore. I’m finally accepting that it’s working and I need new clothes. However, I’m hesitant to buy new bottoms because I can’t quite believe I’m no longer the 14 I’ve been for years. I’m also hesitant to buy a whole new wardrobe because my goal is to be a size 10, not 12. So what did you do as you lost weight? Did you just buy it as you needed it?

Thanks!
Liz

Pastaqueen: Liz, I think Roni is very inspirational and encouraging too! I lost about 200 pounds over 2 years, so I totally relate to your wardrobe issues. I ended up buying three winter coats three years in a row. I bought clothes as I needed them in the sizes that fit me. It was sad having to let go of many items after only 4-5 months, but it felt good to wear cute clothes that flattered my awesome new body. I believe in shopping for clothes that fit your body today, not your future body or past body. If you’re worried about costs, try hitting the local Goodwill or thrift stores for bargains. I’ve also heard that some people arrange clothing swaps with friends where they exchange clothes that don’t fit anymore or they don’t want. This can sometimes be hard to arrange, but may be worth a try. I keep a pair of jeans one size larger than I currently am in case of an emergency, so you might not even want to throw out all your old clothes.

Roni: For me I had everything from maternity and 16′s down to 12′s in my closet and I kept everything from my old diet attempts so I had a few 10′s. When I started to lose I would wear clothes that were too big. I’d buy a new piece here and there but overall I didn’t replace my wardrobe. Then I hit 8, a size I was NEVER in, not even as a preteen. I bought a few pants and shorts, even a dress for a wedding I had in a few months. Then I went down to a 6. Never in a million years did I think I’d be a 6, I wasn’t even trying to be a 6. You really don’t know how your body is going to adjust to new sizes. I’d buy pieces as you go on and take Jennette’s advice of looking for bargains.

My friend is obese and uses the excuse that she just isn’t "meant" to be thin. She says she’s "big boned" and could "never be a twig" but I think that’s just an excuse for her to pig out and not exercise, both of which she does daily. I am concerned for her health and I’ve also used that excuse myself "I have a large frame, I’m just a big girl, etc" but I know that’s not true. Did you find you used to feel that way? What made you believe change *was* possible? Thanks so much!!
-Christine

Pastaqueen: Christine, the only way I was able to make changes in my body was by making changes in my mind. There is a quote from Henry Ford that says, "Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." It’s only by believing in ourselves that we are able to accomplish anything. Weight loss is a personal decision, but if your friend is ever going to lose weight, it’ll have to be because she decides she wants to and because she believes it’s possible. You can’t do much about the former, but the best way to achieve the latter is to expose her to other people’s successful experiences, either in blogs like this one, on TV shows like "The Biggest Loser" or just by having her observe people in her own life. Try to set a good example for your friend and let her know you are concerned for her, not out of vanity or shallow reasons, but because you care for her and are honestly worried about her health. Let her know if she wants help, you are there for her, but ultimately it’s up to her whether she wants your help or not.

Roni: And of course, I totally agree with Jennette! I am struggling with this exact issue on more then one of the husband’s bad habits. It’s not weight per say but really, what’s the difference? A bad habit is a bad habit. I’ve tried everything, being supportive, staying away, getting mad, offering support, thinking up rewards, nothing has worked. He has to do these things on his own. I’ve decided that all I can offer is to lead by example. I’m happy to say, I think FINALLY it’s starting to work. After 3 years he is really making some effort to change his unhealthy ways!

As for me, I also used all those excuses. I remember saying once that I was at my ideal weight because my rib cage was “just that wide” and it’s “just the way I’m shaped”. I can’t say this enough… When I made getting healthy a priority and stopped focussing on my body shape I reached my goals. I think most people who have been on both sides know that she is going to have to change her priorities and learn for herself. It is really out of your hands.

Ok, so a blog book tour guest and 3 Ask Roni questions (out of 66 I have backlogged) answered. I LOVE killing two birds with one stone. :~)

I want to say a BIG thank you to Pastaqueen for stopping by and for thinking of me on her blog tour. I feel very honored.

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