That’s the lowest number I’ve seen on the scale since I got pregnant. I’m not going to try to over analyze it but I must admit, it makes me kinda mad.

I haven’t worked out in a week. I haven’t ran. I haven’t lifted weights. My butts been on the couch more [...]]]>

That’s the lowest number I’ve seen on the scale since I got pregnant. I’m not going to try to over analyze it but I must admit, it makes me kinda mad.

I haven’t worked out in a week. I haven’t ran. I haven’t lifted weights. My butts been on the couch more these last 7 days then the last 7 years. I’ve also been on pain meds, muscle relaxers and steroids for my back.

I’m all out of whack and the scale does what?

Go DOWN?

Yet when I’m working my ass off, staying fit and exercising regularly the scale doesn’t budge. It just taunts me by going up and down. Up and down. UP AND DOWN.

See.. I told you, the scale is a fickle stupid head.

Yeah, I just said stupid head. That’s what happens when you spend the evening with a 6 year old. ;)

In other news…

• I posted a new Chickpea salad idea and another of Little Guy’s Lunches on GreenLiteBites
• I also shared a cute picture of Little Bean on Baby’s first year.

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

I’ve been intrigued by this site for years. I think I took my first test in my mid-twenties and my “real age” was over well over 30. It was depressing.

Over the next few [...]]]> While moping around the internet procrastinating work (actually, I’ve been uninspired but that’s another story) I stumbled across RealAge.com.

I’ve been intrigued by this site for years. I think I took my first test in my mid-twenties and my “real age” was over well over 30. It was depressing.

Over the next few years I took it a few more times and it was always told me I was a few years older then what I really was. Although, as I lost weight, changed my diet and got more active, the gap lessoned.

I really wish the site kept archives of past “real ages” because I’d love to see the progression but I can’t find any kind of history on the site.

Anyway, I decided to take the test again tonight and I was SHOCKED at the results…

For those that don’t know, I’m 35. That’s 8 years!

Insanity!

This was the boost I needed. A friendly reminder that the lifestyle I’m leading is worth every bit of hard work, time and compromise it takes.

After I took the test I checked out RunningInTheUSA.com and found a few races over the next few months and registered. Running is my Basketball. No more moping around feeling sorry for myself. If I can’t run, I’ll walk.

If you have an extra 10 minutes (the test is long) take the quiz. In my opinion, lowering that number is a much better goal then trying to beat the scale.

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

Do not open the pantry.

Repeat.

DO NOT OPEN THE PANTRY!

Remember last night? You almost mindlessly polished of an entire box of Triscuits and you weren’t even hungry. You were bored. You were tired. You just wanted something salty.

Now what’s happening? You’re feeling sorry for yourself? Mad at your [...]]]>

Do not open the pantry.

Repeat.

DO NOT OPEN THE PANTRY!

Remember last night? You almost mindlessly polished of an entire box of Triscuits and you weren’t even hungry. You were bored. You were tired. You just wanted something salty.

Now what’s happening? You’re feeling sorry for yourself? Mad at your back? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? A little funk rolling in?

Let’s face the feelings and and not stuff them down with some processed, easy-to-go-overboard-on pantry snack.

See that fruit basket over there? Yea.. you bought all that for a reason.

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

Today started with a kitchen-fest. I made [...]]]> First, I just want to thank everyone for the well wishes. I’m feeling MUCH better. Not 100% but I’m able to be up and about without yelping in pain. I’m making an appointment with a specialist to get another opinion on my back. I’ll keep you posted.

Today started with a kitchen-fest. I made an amazing batch of Banana Pancakes…

Click here for the recipe.

I also made a batch of Homemade Sauce…

(Click here for the recipe)

… an egg yolk omelet for Bean, and an egg white omelet for me.

After breakfast we cleaned up a bit. Someone is obsessed with the dishwasher…

as was his brother before him. It’s cracks me up.

We had fun doing laundry, of course.

Then I did something I rarely get to do.

Grocery shopping ALONE!

What a treat!

I came home, put everything away and then got lunch ready for the boys…

before heading out for a lunch of my own. I had a date to meet two friends for a movie and we hit a local restaurant before hand.

I started with the a cup of Maryland Crab Soup.

Got a veggies wrap…

and replaced the fries with a side of veggies.

And of course… Popcorn at the movies!

We saw Woman in Black. (These were my horror movie friends.) It was good but not as good as I thought it would be.

When I got back Little Guy showed off the new Ninjago set he put together with Daddy while I was gone.

Then he helped me clean the fruit I bought earlier.

I decided to make applesauce out of some aging apples we had with wrinkly skin.

I chopped them up small (with skin) added a splash of lemon juice, cinnamon, nutmeg and simmered it for the rest of night. I’ll show you the result later.

Little Bean had a snack.

He’s funny with the blueberries. He’ll bite one, chew for a minute and then spit them out. BUT he keeps going back for more. It’s cute.

All this was happening while I made my Super Bowl treat…

Won Ton Nacho Bites. They were awesome! Click here for the recipe.

I also roasted myself some spaghetti squash.

The boys were having pasta but I knew I’d be the one to eat all of the Won Ton Nacho Bites so I kept dinner light.

While dinner was cooking there was an awful lot of playing going on…

The Husband’s plate was just insanity. I mean seriously..

And he ate it ALL!

Just looking at it gives me a belly ache.

After dinner I checked in on the applesauce…

Perfect! You can now run it through the blender but I’m gonna keep it chunky and add it to some yogurt for the baby and maybe some oatmeal for me. :)

After we cleaned up it was all about the super bowl (and blogging for me cause I multitask like that. ;)

Click here to see how Little Bean went from here…

to here…

He’s on the move!

That’s all I have tonight! I’m now watching the Voice with the hubby. It’s time to log off. :)

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

That’s my neck up there. Aren’t X-rays cool?!?

I had to go to the doctors after throwing my back out AGAIN. I simply moved the wrong way last night and fell to my knees in pain.

I’ve had back and neck issue for some time now, having maybe 1 or 2 spasms [...]]]>

That’s my neck up there. Aren’t X-rays cool?!?

I had to go to the doctors after throwing my back out AGAIN. I simply moved the wrong way last night and fell to my knees in pain.

I’ve had back and neck issue for some time now, having maybe 1 or 2 spasms a year, but this time is different. This time the pain is unbearable. I’ve been up since 4AM trying to find a position that eases the pain a little. This morning I could barely wash my hair or get dressed as raising my arms above my head sent shooting pains to my back. I can’t look left, right, up or down and picking up Little Bean is near impossible. :(

So this morning I headed to the Urgent Care center and got that x-ray. The Doctor told me I have degeneration in c5, c6, and c7. He sounded pretty serious and actually said at one point, "I don’t want to sugar coat it, you have a lot of damage."

FABULOUS!

For Pete’s sake, I’m only 35 years old!

He prescribed me a muscle relaxer, steroids and pain medication. Oh and this lovely contraption..

Cute? Right?

I asked him about my workouts and he said the best thing I could do for myself is staying active ONCE I recover from this episode. He said running and weight training (my 2 favorites) were both fine but I need to avoid things like squats with the bar across my back (something I do a lot) and anything that causes stress on my neck and upper back.

You guys may think I’m crazy but "resting" actually makes me feel worse. I start to seize up and get real stiff. I feel best when walking. So that’s what I did after leaving the doctors today. It took me about an hour to walk 2 miles. I really enjoyed it. The weather is still mild here in the North East and it was nice to be outside with nothing but my thoughts.

Ok, that’s all I have. Not sure how much longer I can keep my eyes open with this muscle relaxer. I’m just hoping I can sleep through the night.

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

I’m a little speechless. Last week the scale jumped up over 6 lbs this week it’s down 8.

Wah?

I really am speechless but I can’t say I’m completely surprised. The scale is so, so, SO fickle! Especially when I eat processed or salty restaurant foods WHICH I rarely ate at all this [...]]]>

I’m a little speechless. Last week the scale jumped up over 6 lbs this week it’s down 8.

Wah?

I really am speechless but I can’t say I’m completely surprised. The scale is so, so, SO fickle! Especially when I eat processed or salty restaurant foods WHICH I rarely ate at all this week! I’m guessing that’s what I owe for the lower number on the scale.

My A-Ha Moment has really freed and motivated me. I haven’t kept a food journal but I can tell you my diet revolved around eggs, lean meat and veggies. Thinking back I made tilapia, chicken, and pork chops for dinner and 3 nights this past week I served 2 veggies on the side instead of a starch like rice or noodles. I also had a lot of soup and salads for lunch. Especially this salad (I really am obsessed!) And I enjoyed coming up with a new light lunch idea using Portobello mushrooms. Oh! and I also enjoyed a VitaCake and a cup of tea a few times when I craved something sweet.

I feel good. Really good. I didn’t make it to the gym today but I did get a walk in with my baby..

It was so beautiful out!

I’m going to continue to weigh in out of curiosity. Am I being over confident? Only time will tell.

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

I hinted about this post on Sunday and honestly, it’s been brewing in me for days. I just needed a quiet moment to actually collect my thoughts (without a baby in tow) and attempt to communicate them in a way that makes sense. Now that I have that moment, I’m pretty sure I’ll [...]]]>

I hinted about this post on Sunday and honestly, it’s been brewing in me for days. I just needed a quiet moment to actually collect my thoughts (without a baby in tow) and attempt to communicate them in a way that makes sense. Now that I have that moment, I’m pretty sure I’ll still ramble on excessively. Expect a long one and please forgive me for that cheesy "A-Ha" photo.

As you may know I’ve been trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight for 10 months now. Baby number 2 came almost 6 years after baby number 1 and 5 years after a 70lb weight loss that I have maintained happily (minus pregnancy gain of course.) I not only lost weight back then but I started to find myself. For as long as I can remember weight loss and a bad body image dominated my thoughts. (Read more of my weight history on the My Story page.)

If you’ve been reading for some time you know this. You’ve been on this journey with me. Maybe you were there when I reached goal in 2006 or when I had the tummy tuck or made the decisions to join a gym to or the first time I ran 5k on a treadmill.

*sigh* Running. Now there’s something I never thought I’d EVER do. Yet you were there the first time I ran a 5k and 5 miles and 10 and my first half and, in-spite of a rough year, a marathon. Yes, I ran a FREAKIN’ Marathon. To say it now it still seems unreal, impossible and unbelievable. So does climbing a rock wall and doing a pull-up but I did all of those things.

Yes, now I’m crying.

Over the years my approach to losing and maintaing weight ebbed and flowed. I went from weekly weighing to daily to none at all. I food journaled on paper, in email, twitter and even Excel. I counted points and ate intuitively. My diet has slowly shifted from convenience based foods (100 cal packs, Frozen Dinners) to more and more whole and unprocessed options.

For Pete’s Sake my favorite things to eat now are winter squashes and kale! Who am I?

No, really.

Who am I?

Well…

I am now someone who not only wakes up at 5:30 AM to go to the gym but WANTS to wake up at 5:30 to go to the gym because I know from experience how awesome I feel the rest of the day.

I am now someone who is not afraid to be naked in front of her husband. That may have been a bit TMI but it’s true and I know some of you out there know where I’m coming from.

I am now someone who can wear a bathing suit on a beach and enjoy herself. Not because I’m sporting the perfect body but because I’m having too much fun with my family to care what anyone else thinks.

I’m now someone who can go out to eat and not feel controlled by food, overwhelmed at the menu or anxious about making the right choice.

I am now someone who doesn’t starve herself after eating something "bad" and then sneaks food when no one is looking.

I am now someone who doesn’t shy away from things she wants to do or try or experience.

I am now someone who doesn’t care what the scale says because of everything listed above<–THAT was My A-Ha Moment.

These thoughts all came flooding to me when I received this comment from Tina on my latest weigh-in post….

Roni, did you ever think that possibly giving up the journaling might work in your favor? I see that you go back and forth with it, I think that you know by now exactly what your body needs and doesn’t need. I know that emotions play a huge part in that at times, but I think in my experience that “so called” dieting or keeping track always set me up for a binge at some point. Since I gave up counting points, calories etc. I have seen the most progress in my weight, and I also feel more relaxed with food. Just a thought.

Tina pointed out something I think I’ve been afraid to admit because it takes me further and further away from where I started and for some reason that’s scary. Here I thought I was doing the right thing by following my own example of what worked for me in the past.

6 years ago I counted points, food journaled and blogged my way to weight loss. It worked then so why shouldn’t it work now?

Ohhh yea… because I’m not the same person I was back then. I don’t need to learn what a portion is or that a banana is a better choice then pretzels or that drinking my calories isn’t "worth it." I don’t need a daily limit to stop me from eating because I can’t tell the difference between hunger or boredom or stress or exhaustion.

I’m not saying I know it all now but I know myself and I’ve learned a lot over the years. Why am I forcing myself to do something that’s not working for me now and why aren’t I trusting myself? Oh! and for Heaven’s sake WHY do I need to see some stupid number on some stupid scale when I am everything I ever wanted to be?

Happy.

~*~*~*~

P.S. I wanted to end the post right there on a "happy" note (pun intended) but while writing this I got an email from Annalisa and I feel the need to share it in this post.

Hi Roni! This is not an ask-Roni question but really a thank you. I’ve read your blog for a few years and I’ve always found you inspirational. Quick background – I lost 50 lbs a few years ago and kept it off until I had my first baby 9 months ago. I’m struggling with losing the weight. I’m 40lbs heavier that I am used to being and it gets demotivating when nothing changes week after week (I nurse, eat clean, lots of walks, etc). I’m working on it slowly but very little is happening. Anyway, my thank you is for you continual advice to ‘live your life’. I continue to sign up for things, meet new people, be active, etc. even though I am not comfortable in my own skin. I noticed this over the weekend when I signed up for mommy and me swim classes. OMG – I had to wear a swim suit! I thought about not going but I am so GLAD I did! My daughter loved it – and so did I. I sometimes even hesitate to take pictures/videos of us as a family since I’m so much bigger but I realize this is a time in my life I don’t get to repeat so I need to suck it up and embrace everything around me. I don’t think I would have this attitude if I haven’t read your blog all these years. I would truly be a SAHM and never leave the house. Instead, I bought bigger pants and kept going. Thank you!

This blog started out as a weight loss journal but now it means so much more to me and hopefully, to you. I don’t mind helping people lose weight, it’s how I got started on this whole journey. But what I really want to do is change people attitudes about themselves, their bodies and their lives. That’s my real goal. Weight loss is just the byproduct.

Thank YOU Annalisa for solidifying my A-Ha moment. :)

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

Right now choose to go to bed so tomorrow you can choose to wake up early and go to your favorite gym class. Then choose a healthy breakfast and start your day on the right foot.

Everything can wait until tomorrow. It can. Really. I promise.

It all started at 7AM. Little Guy had an early soccer [...]]]> Today was truly a Sensational Sunday in every sense! The house is clean, the fridge is stocked, I spent time with the family AND caught up with an old friend at the movies. It was just a fantastic day all around! You’ll see…

It all started at 7AM. Little Guy had an early soccer game. Here he is writing his name on his water bottle before they left.

The Husband took him to the game while I stayed home with Little Bean.

He was not as amused with my dancing as he normally is. With 2 front teeth breaking through he was quite the grump. I could barely get a smile out of him!

We split 2 eggs for breakfast…

…like this.

With Dad and Big Brother gone, Little Bean and I had to handle the laundry on our own.

We sorted… crawled… sorted… and crawled. :)

While organizing his clothes I was inspired to to write… 5 Baby Fashions I Could Never Get Away With. Click here to see his striped pants. lol

I then decided to tackle the fridge.

It was so messy I didn’t even know what I had in there!

That’s when the boys came home with…

They were nice enough to bring me home my favorite, a chocolate frosted.

I didn’t eat it.

Why?

Because I didn’t want it.

More on this later this week. I had a revelation on the weight loss thing.

Anyway, back to the fridge.

MUCH better.

With the baby napping and the boys relaxing, I decided to grab some mags and take a bath.

Real Simple contacted me after seeing GreenLiteBites and sent me some issues. I hope to get a chance to work with them one day!

I came down from the bath to 3 boys watching "How It’s Made" on the Science Channel. They are running a 5 day marathon. We’ve been obsessed.

Then we took a break for a family game of UNO Roboto. We LOVE this game!

I made myself THE Smoothie as I was planning a late lunch out.

Irish was chilling on the stairs.

Someone caught a glimpse.

They are so cute together!

I decided to save the cat and swiped Little Bean for some kitchen dancing…

… while we cleaned up.

Everyone was doing their share.

We finished just in time for me to head out for my friend date! I met an old friend for lunch and movie. We went to Carrabbas. I’ve never been.

I had a cup of Mama Mandola’s Sicilian Chicken Soup…

…and an Insalata Fiorucci salad with the dressing on the side.

Both were amazing!

After lunch we saw The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 at the cheapo theater. It was as bad and as good as I thought it would be. lol

On the way home I hit the grocery store ALONE! That rarely happens. Little Guy helped me put everything away.

Dinner was a mish mosh of leftovers.

After dinner I gave Little Bean a bath…

made Little Guy’s lunch… (I’ll post a better photo on the GreenLiteBites School Lunch Idea page tomorrow)

and rallied the whole family to put away their clothes. (yes we ACTUALLY got it all done. The husband kept it going while I was at the movies.)

While making Little Guy’s bed The Husband did a little impersonation of him.

It cracked us up! If you can’t tell, Ryan is laughing hysterically. lol

Before bed we snacked on some strawberries and opened a LEGO minifigure.

Series 6 came out and we’re ecstatic. Click here to see our shrine of Minifigures. The Husband has officially turned me into a collector.

Afterwards I read Little Guy a story and then relaxed in my clean living room while watching Once Upon a Time.

Now I’m frantically trying to get this post up while watching the Food Network. :)

Hope you had a great weekend!

(Note for those looking: There’s a finger but it’s a tough one. I didn’t even know until he mentioned it.)

Oh! and I forgot I wanted to share this video of Little Bean knocking down block Little Guy and I set up for him. It’s super cute.

Ok, now I’m REALLY go to bed. :)

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!

Not a thing.

Bloggers Block.

So I’m just gonna start typing…

I’m sitting here with The Husband watching Parks & Rec. We just got the kids to bed after a relaxing night with the boys…

It really was relaxing. Thursday is Little Bean’s Day Care day so [...]]]> Nope.

Not a thing.

Bloggers Block.

So I’m just gonna start typing…

I’m sitting here with The Husband watching Parks & Rec. We just got the kids to bed after a relaxing night with the boys…

It really was relaxing. Thursday is Little Bean’s Day Care day so I didn’t have to juggle everything in between naps, which was nice. BUT I threw out my back, so I didn’t get anything done that I couldn’t accomplish on the couch with a heating pad. :(

I did have 3 calls today, 2 potential FitBloggin’ sponsors and 1 potential GreenLiteBites sponsor. I’m always amazed how much time you can burn on the phone.

For a mid-morning snack I made myself a fun Orange Julius inspired drink…

Turning mine green with a little spinach. :)

I also posted about Little Bean’s favorite finger foods on Baby’s First Year…

Other than that I kept my food journal, cooked the family dinner and helped Little Guy with his homework.

All in all a fabulously low key day.

Unless you are reading this on Roni's Weigh or your RSS reader, it is stolen content!