Let’s not beat around the bush here. There are tons of people who want to lose weight and they are easy prey. The’ve been told their whole lives something is wrong with them. They are constantly bombarded with images of what they should look like. They are all ages, sexes, and varying education levels. Many of them may not even need to lose weight but that’s OK, those people increase the number of our potential customers significantly and really, who cares? All we want to do is make money, right?
Well, you’ve come to right place. I’m about to teach you how to make loads of money selling weight-loss miracles.
1. Imitate a trusted source (or heck, just steal the damn logo.)
This is a screen shot of a popular women’s health magazine.
Notice the URL and the navigation bar, which is branded the same as the print magazine found in almost every grocery store around the country. This magazine is known and so is their logo. Why not use it so people trust, or even think our weight loss solution is endorsed by them? Genius, right?
Now, note the URL in the image above. See how the logo and nav bar is almost identical but it’s not coming from WomensHealthMag.com is it? Nope. It’s being served by some foreign hosting company. As long as Women’s Health Mag doesn’t notice, you’re sitting pretty.
2. Choose a current relevant celeb as your endorser.
No, they don’t actually have to use your product. Now you are just being silly!
If you REALLY want to bait and switch your potential
victims, *cough* I mean customers, you can always use the whole we-found-out-their-secret approach.
Works every time!
Now, be sure to use a celeb whose weight fluctuates and find some pictures of them at varying sizes. It doesn’t matter if they are in correct time sequence or anything. Just a “chubby” pic and a “slender” pic from any era is fine.
3. Quote said celeb and have some back-up celebs for good measure.
Notice Selena and Beyonce below. Their names are not even mentioned but you know who they are and how else did they lose weight except with the help of this miracle weight-loss product?!?
4. Include lots of unproven claims and say they actually are “clinically proven” ’cause no one will ever check anyway.
No studies required. Save your money. Just make it up!
5. Provide a “personal” experience and include photos of yourself.
Well, not yourself exactly but do a search on the internet for someone who actually lost weight and just steal their photos.
This is much easier then actually having someone use the product while documenting their results. Plus, the weight-loss miracle you are selling doesn’t actually work, so those photos wouldn’t be as impressive.
You can say whatever you want near the photos to sell your products. People at this point will totally believe the woman in the photo is sharing her personal experience. It’s golden!
6. Make it free (sort of,) say it’s a special and put a deadline on it.
I mean, you want people to act impulsively, amiright? You don’t want to give them any time to think about it, just buy, buy, buy NOW!
If you follow these 6 simple steps you, too, can make loads of money selling a weight-loss miracle. I PROMISE YOU!
Don’t worry if it works or that there are actual other human beings on the other side of the transaction who are hurting and desperate. Just do anything you possibly can to make money off the insecurities of others. It’s simply too easy not to.
If you haven’t figured it out by now this entire post is satire. My photos were, once again, stolen to sell a weight-loss product. I refuse to link to the actual misleading web page but I took a screen shot of it here for reference as I will be attempting to contact them and get my photos removed.
All the photos used in step #5 above are of me. I took a photo every month of myself while losing weight and shared them here on the blog over 10 years ago.
Many people have commented that I should watermark my photos to prevent this type of thing from happening but you know what, let it happen. Let them continue to give me a voice and the tools to expose their shady asses.
This time it’s not how I lost 70 pounds in 30 days with some new supplement. This time it’s a detox that “add(s) significant amounts of muscle and melts away body fat without harming your immune system.” Next time it will be whatever new hot weight-loss trend is getting attention in the media.
Do me a favor: Don’t fall for it!
You aren’t going to find your weight loss solution in a bottle, cream, detox or exercise device. You need to look inward, be honest with yourself, and set realistic goals. Your change has to come from self love, not hate.
To read more about how I lost the weight click here. I’m not selling you a quick fix, I swear. It’s just goes into more detail on the 5 things I did that helped break myself out of a 15-year yo-yo dieting cycle.