My intention was to come home from work and make dinner, but I didn’t have it in me.
The 5-Year-Old-in-3-Days was begging me for a peanut butter sandwich.
The 10-year-old already ate his weight in snacks after school.
The Husband had to run errands and needed to head out.
There I was, overwhelmed, unmotivated and exhausted looking in the fridge — kind of hungry, kind of wanting to make dinner so we can all sit down together and kind of wanting to say “f*ck it,” throw my hands up, let everyone fend for themselves and go to bed.
I ended up taking the middle ground and pulling out all the leftovers out for dinner.
The 5-Year-Old-in-3-Days got his peanut butter sandwich with a side of pepper strips and avocado chunks. The 10-Year-Old and Husband made their own plates. And I just stared at everything knowing I should eat but nothing looked good. I mean I had good food — leftover pork loin, asparagus and potatoes from last night’s family dinner, leftover Turkey Chili With Sweet Potato, Eggplant and Mushrooms, leftover salisbury steak from Friday — but I wanted none of it.
Nothing sounded good even though I was hungry.
This is when I know something’s up with me.
There are times making the “right” food choices is easy. Good, nutritious food sounds good. It looks good. It’s what I want.
But then there are times when all I want is junk. Something fast that I can just grab. Something processed and easy. Something I normally don’t want to even put in my body.
I haven’t quite figured out the pattern to these moments and why they happen. They ebb and flow for sure. Sometimes I think it’s hormones other times I think it’s not-so-good food choices that bring back cravings. Other times I just blame it (or rather call it) a funk.
I ended up picking on some potatoes, grabbing some tortilla chips and indulging on chocolate Easter candy.
Meh. It is what it is. Tomorrow will be be better.
In other news….
- This is helping my shin splints immensely!
- I felt weak at the gym today but I was still able to do 3 pull-ups!
- I spent time updating my resume. First time in eight years! That was weird.
- Guitar practice is going great!