One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Nothing Sounded Good

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My intention was to come home from work and make dinner, but I didn’t have it in me.

The 5-Year-Old-in-3-Days was begging me for a peanut butter sandwich.

The 10-year-old already ate his weight in snacks after school.

The Husband had to run errands and needed to head out.

There I was, overwhelmed, unmotivated and exhausted looking in the fridge — kind of hungry, kind of wanting to make dinner so we can all sit down together and kind of wanting to say “f*ck it,” throw my hands up, let everyone fend for themselves and go to bed.

I ended up taking the middle ground and pulling out all the leftovers out for dinner.

The 5-Year-Old-in-3-Days got his peanut butter sandwich with a side of pepper strips and avocado chunks. The 10-Year-Old and Husband made their own plates. And I just stared at everything knowing I should eat but nothing looked good. I mean I had good food — leftover pork loin, asparagus and potatoes from last night’s family dinner, leftover Turkey Chili With Sweet Potato, Eggplant and Mushrooms, leftover salisbury steak from Friday — but I wanted none of it.

Nothing sounded good even though I was hungry.

This is when I know something’s up with me.

There are times making the “right” food choices is easy. Good, nutritious food sounds good. It looks good. It’s what I want.

But then there are times when all I want is junk. Something fast that I can just grab. Something processed and easy. Something I normally don’t want to even put in my body.

I haven’t quite figured out the pattern to these moments and why they happen. They ebb and flow for sure. Sometimes I think it’s hormones other times I think it’s not-so-good food choices that bring back cravings. Other times I just blame it (or rather call it) a funk.

I ended up picking on some potatoes, grabbing some tortilla chips and indulging on chocolate Easter candy.

Meh. It is what it is. Tomorrow will be be better.

In other news….

  • This is helping my shin splints immensely! 
  • I felt weak at the gym today but I was still able to do 3 pull-ups!
  • I spent time updating my resume. First time in eight years! That was weird.
  • Guitar practice is going great!
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Discussion

There are 4 comments so far.

    Lisa

    March 15, 2016

    Hi Roni, I’ve been thinking about taking up guitar as a hobby for awhile now but the complaints of fingertip soreness have stopped me from biting the bullet. I was wondering how you are finding the transition into playing and practicing daily/regularly and if your fingertips are super sore? Your story is inspirational and your inner and outer strength are incredible to watch grow. Wishing you and your family all the best. I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog over the years. Lisa

      roni

      March 15, 2016

      Yes, my finger tips are starting to get calloused but I don’t mind. It’s not too bad. They first felt numb-y but I’m getting used to it. Totally not a reason to avoid it! It’s too fun!

    Tiffany

    March 15, 2016

    Thanks for sharing the video about foam rolling. I’ve been struggling with plantar fasciitis for almost three months now and am actually going to the podiatrist today…I was trying various things to see if I could get it to resolve without going to the doctor but nothing has worked. :( I wouldn’t have thought to try foam rolling my shins to help the bottom of my foot, though! I’ll see what the podiatrist has to say and maybe add this to whatever regimen he/she suggests.

    Lisa

    March 16, 2016

    Thanks, that’s good to know. I’ve been watching justinguitar and like how he breaks it all down to learn the chords and technique.