One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

If We Had Coffee…

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I’m taking a page out of my friend Carla’s book. She used to do these posts called “If we had coffee” and I always thought the idea was way more clever than my go-to, the brain dump post. Even though “brain dump” is more descriptive of my need to get all the thoughts out of my head. If I don’t, I start to withdraw and go inwards and that’s never good — at least not for me.

So, if we had had coffee…

I’d order tea. 

Because I don’t like coffee. I know. I know. I’m an odd duck. I’m just not a fan and I never acquired the taste.

I’d tell you I’m ROCKING Whole30. 

And I love it. Twenty days in and really not missing anything or feeling deprived. I’m trying to pick back up my food journal since I lost the habit during Saturday’s comp but really, food journal or not, I’m killing it.

I can’t help but think the past 10 years have been practice for this. There is no way “Old Roni” would have lasted one day on a program like this. I just wasn’t in the right mindset. I needed every little baby step along the way to get to where I am today. And today, in a strange turn of events, I actually welcome the structure of a program like Whole30. I was losing my focus and felt really uninspired in the food department. Now I’m excited again!

I've been cooking up a storm!

I’ve been cooking up a storm! This was dinner yesterday. 

And I feel amazing! Definitely less bloat. Definitely more muscle tone starting to appear. I didn’t weigh myself or take before pictures so I can’t show you progress, but I really didn’t want to get back to that head space again. I’m proud of myself for ditching the scale for so long and I love that my motivation is no longer some arbitrary number.

I’d tell you The Husband is still soda-free!! 

I can’t believe it. I almost accidentally ordered him a soda yesterday at Chipotle out of habit and he stopped me. He’s been drinking water with all his meals and sometimes a BLACK coffee here and there. If you actually saw how much sugar he used to put in it before you’d be shocked, too.

I know it’s pretty insulting to say things like “if I can do it anyone can” but seriously, I truly believe if The Husband can give up soda, anyone can! We’ve been together 21 years and I never thought I’d ever see the day. I’m so proud of him!

I will say he’s been dreaming of Super Bowl Sunday because he’s giving himself a free pass that day. I’m crossing my fingers his tastes change by then and he finds it too sweet.

A girl can dream, right?

I will say, like me with Whole30, The Husband didn’t just give up soda cold turkey. He’s been slowly working on reducing his intake this past year. It’s been a process and this last stage is the final push in about a year-long journey.

I’d tell you the kids are doing great but I’m exhausted in the Mom department. 

From establishing chores and responsibilities to holding firm on my one-bite rule, I feel worn down in the parenting department. It’s an exhausting and sometimes unrewarding job. I say that with some guilt because my kids are fabulous little human beings but they’re kids. Anyone who has kids knows what that means.

I play Memory every day with the 4-Year-Old. We do puzzles and color together. The 10-Year-Old is talking my ear off about Nerf guns and viral YouTube videos. I know how important it is to be present but sometimes my brain feels like it can’t take anymore information in. And I’m SO tired of harping on the same little things they always seem to forget like leaving socks in the living room or putting the milk away.

I know enough not to wish this time away as it will be gone in a flash but this mama’s tired.

I’d tell you I’m finally learning to say NO — even to myself.  

I’m getting better at drawing lines in the sand and I’m proud of myself. As you can see I haven’t posted here in a couple of a days. I thought about it, I felt the sting of my own self-induced pressure, and I went to bed anyway.

I’ve been in bed by 10 p.m. every day this week and the extra sleep is for sure paying off.

I’m simply learning to prioritize things from emails and text messages to cooking and sleeping and I finally feel like I’m approaching satisfied for the first time ever in my life.

I’d tell you I ran my first class at the gym! 

Since getting my CrossFit level 1 at the end of last year I have refused to train at the gym. I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel qualified. I know I still have a lot to learn.

But I decided to shove myself out of my comfort zone yet again and filled in for one of our trainers who needed the morning off. It wasn’t as bad as I thought and I really enjoyed it. My passion is still working with kids but I’m glad I did something that terrified me. If I’ve learned anything these past 10 years, it’s that I’ll only grow when I do the things that scare me the most.

I’d tell you that making a huge fruit salad every week with the kids is the best tradition ever! 

Fruit Salad

From picking out the fruit at the store to cutting it and eating it, I urge everyone (kids or no kids) to start this tradition. Everyone in my house — yes, even The Husband — is getting hooked on this ginormous bowl of fruit. It’s fast becoming the go-to instead of the pantry for after-school and evening snacks. The kids have fun cutting everything, which can be done with a butter knife and we spend time together just talking and taste testing. No TV. No distractions. Just a family prepping healthy snacks together.

It’s nice.

I’d thank you for letting me vent. 

I needed an ear and a friend.

Thank you.



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Discussion

There are 10 comments so far.

    Carla

    January 20, 2016

    <3 <3 <3

    Shannon

    January 20, 2016

    Amen in the tired mama thing…even wonderful kids can be draining to parent.

    Ashley Diamond

    January 20, 2016

    Huge congratulations on making so much progress in every aspect of your life. It sounds like you and the husband together are making such strides. Also, that fruit bowl has me drooling over here so thanks for that!

    JennieM

    January 21, 2016

    LOVE this! Love the fruit bowl, love the more sleep time….totally with you on the kids part….I told my family I need a “tiny house” in the backyard as my escape! No one understood what I meant, but all my girlfriends did!

    Vicki

    January 21, 2016

    Another great blog post by Roni, just wanted to let you know we’re still here and still enjoying your posts. Have a great week.

    Mary Nell

    January 22, 2016

    I’d tell you I LOVE this post!!!

    Sherri W

    January 24, 2016

    May I make a gentle suggestion of something that worked for me? I know you want the kids to eat and live healthy lives, I did too. Why not try to let them learn by example instead of making them try something they are not ready for. My children, now in college, watched and still watch me struggle with exercising and eating healthy. They have adopted healthy living eating and exercising just because they saw me doing it. My son who is a junior in college runs 2 miles every day and eats much healthier than me. My daughter who is a sophomore in college, goes to the gym at least 3x per week and eats pretty healthy. I never asked them to try certain healthy foods, they did it on their own. My daughter hates spinach, doesn’t like the texture, but I know there are many other healthy foods she likes so it isn’t a thing. I am proud to say they chose to live healthy by watching mom. I am not being critical, just offering a suggestion. It might take some of the pressure off you!

      Sherri W

      January 24, 2016

      One more note: when my son is home on break and text him asking if he wants a snack from the grocery store, his reply most often is spinach or broccoli! Proud mom of health kids!

    T

    January 25, 2016

    Would you ever consider doing podcasts again? I loved your old ones. I’m losing baby weight for the 4th time & would love extra motivation. You could answer questions about weight loss, share what’s going on (like this), what you’re cooking, etc. It can be like Coach Roni. :)
    Also, what the heck is that coming out of your pork loin in the picture???

    Thanks!
    T

    Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me

    February 3, 2016

    I love this. I need to do one.