One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

21 Years and Counting

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Last night The Husband and I went out sans kids for dinner to celebrate 21 years — not 21 years married but 21 years together.

The Husband and I last night after our dinner out ALONE!

The Husband and I last night after our dinner out ALONE!

We hooked up, err, I mean “started dating” Feb 1, 1995.

1995.

Doesn’t that sound like eons ago? I mean, I actually know people who weren’t even alive in 1995 and I don’t mean my kids. I mean, like people, real adult people I interact with regularly.

The two of us have been in each other’s lives more than we haven’t, and that is hard for me to comprehend.

I’ve been fiercely independent for as long as I can remember. I started working at 14, moved myself, alone, to college at 18 and never really dreamed of getting married to live happily ever after. Actually, the opposite was true. I never understood friends who needed boyfriends. Back in the day the only relationship advice I would ever offer someone was simply … dump them.

Being raised by a single mother who ended a 16-year marriage when I was 9, I just never understood why anyone would stick around in a relationship that wasn’t working for them.

When I met Bill I was a young, insecure girl trying to figure out the world.  We bonded over beer, music and movies.

The Husband and I in 1995

Oldest photo I have of us – April 1995 – What am I wearing?!?

Isn’t that all that really matters in college anyway?

He was smart, funny and easy to talk to, even as an idiotic teenager who acted immature around his friends.

We simply clicked, and by graduate school were inseparable, but not in an unhealthy, clingy kind of way young people sometimes are.

Little did I know we were laying down a strong foundation to build a life together.

I remember talking about getting married a few years after we started dating but we weren’t in a rush. Both of us in college with unknown futures. It was just logical to wait. Why introduce another variable during such a crazy time in our lives. We simply didn’t see “getting married” as something that special to attain. It was just, from my perspective anyway, an excuse to throw a big party and announce to family, hey … we’re pretty serious. Just wanted to let you know. 

2001 - Our wedding

2001 – our wedding.

I’m such a romantic, aren’t I?

Actually this is one of the things The Husband makes fun of me for — my lack of interest in Hollywood-style romance. He’s the romantic movie lover. I’d much rather watch a slasher flick.

And that’s just one example of how different we are.

I’m rock ‘n’ roll. He’s hip-hop.

I’m outgoing and social. He’s an introvert to his core.

I’m all about adventure. His idea of the perfect weekend is doing absolutely nothing for two days.

2014 -  On top pf the Eiffel Tower in Vegas doing something he hates just for me.

2014 – On top pf the Eiffel Tower in Vegas doing something he hates just for me.

I can only assume this is what people mean when they say opposites attract, but truth be told, we have a heck of a lot of things in common, too. Most importantly is our commitment to our relationship because if both people aren’t all in, it’s just not going to work out long term.

2004 - No kids yet!

2004 – No kids yet!

We have our fair share of problems, that’s for sure, but we always work through them.

I’m really proud of us. We’ve built an amazing life together, and even with all the craziness of life we still, after 21 years, not only make time for one another but enjoy each other’s company.

DSC_0405

2015 – On our annual anniversary trip in New Orleans.



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Discussion

There are 15 comments so far.

    Krista

    January 31, 2016

    Happy Anniversary! Holy cow I just love the old photos!

    nancyabc

    January 31, 2016

    They were right when they said opposites attract each other.
    They also say hard work pays off and you certainly work hard!
    Congrats on the many years and may there be many more.

    Carli Fierce

    January 31, 2016

    Awwww!! Such a beautiful post. Happy Anniversary Roni & the husband

    Onnie

    January 31, 2016

    Happy Anniversary, love birds!

    Georgia

    February 1, 2016

    This is so sweet! What you are wearing in the 1995 shot is what was cute in 1995. I look back and really cringe at how my kids will see me.. I didn’t look that dorky then.. I promise (I think at least…) Making it work is hard work but worth it. Great post. and I took a double take and was like.. who’s Bill? Ha!

    Charlie Hills

    February 1, 2016

    Seriously. What are you wearing? :)

    Tina

    February 1, 2016

    Oh my gosh, the two of you in those “old” photos are so cute!

    LisaM

    February 1, 2016

    Anybody else notice how those two look younger in the photo from last night than in the New Orleans photo from last year? Must be all that clean living in 2016!

    Chris

    February 2, 2016

    HA! No wonder I always feel like I’m on a similar page with you… my hubs and I have been “hooking up” since 1995 too – our anniversary is next month, we always celebrate on the Ides Of March (partly because an exact date of the beginning of our crazy relationship was never adequately determined).

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to you both! Those pictures are priceless.

    Kelly

    February 3, 2016

    Thanks for sharing, Roni. Congratulations on 21 years!!

    Staci

    February 4, 2016

    Some “kid” drove themself to the walk-in clinic and checked in. I heard them tell their DOB and it was in the 90s. I FREAKED OUT! When did the 90s become so far away that people born then can DRIVE??? Lol I’m sure what you were wearing in that pic was all the rage back then, along with aqua net hair spray! Lol And your husband was so slender. Goodness! I am outgoing and hubby is introvert, so in the pic of the Eiffel Tower that looks like us – one all giddy with glee and the other smiling because, well, he’s there. Haha

    FoodLove Girl

    February 5, 2016

    Thanks for sharing! I love hearing and witnessing love stories like that – the solid, real, good kind! Awesome stuff. You guys look so cute. Especially – April 1995- that’s my favorite picture of the group! :)

    Tiffany

    February 6, 2016

    Congrats on 21 years! You’re so right that both people have to be all in…there are so many conflicts and compromises that you just don’t envision when you are young and in the “honeymoon” phase. And once you introduce kids those situations go up exponentially! Thanks for taking us down memory lane with you!

    Claude Maugein

    February 9, 2016

    21 years, amazing! 1995 is yesterday, I was 18 in 1970, that’s aeons ago! I’ve never figured the ‘opposites attract’ thing; but it obviously works for you two! Rock On!

    Agnes

    February 16, 2016

    I love your story. Maybe you’re not a hollywood-romance type but you’re real and that’s a whole hell of a lot more important. I had the perfect husband on paper – made great money, bought me expensive gifts and jewelry, always took me out to dinner and was up for fun outings. It all looked great on the outside, the way things are “supposed to” look. On the inside it was all empty and then one day he told me that he did not want to be married anymore. End of story. Romance looks good on TV, real is what counts in the real world. Congrats on your anniversary. You guys rock!