After the marathon gift wrapping session last night I should* have just gone to bed, but my growling stomach and a strong desire to relax and do nothing after a long day took over. I decided to plop on the couch with a bag of chips and salsa.
The Husband and I watched late night TV and vegged for 30 minutes.
I can’t lie, it was awesome.
I find myself much less motivated lately. I’m not sure if it’s the holidays, hormones or a slight case of midlife crisis. Some days I just want to crawl in a hole, stick my fingers in my ears and say “La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La” at the top of my lungs. I lose patience with the kids, I have zero desire to accomplish anything, and I feel crushed by the responsibilities of being a parent.
My 3-month trial period is coming up at the gym and I am again unsure what I’m doing with my life. Since I sold the conference, blogging as a career is pretty much out for me and frankly I want it to be. I’m tired of the hustle. Finding sponsors is exhausting, running ads is annoying (and frankly pretty fruitless) and I’m over the constant pressure of getting more readers — actually I’ve been over that for some time. I, honestly, hate the “business of blogging,” always have. I just want to do what I do and share what I can without all the pressure of it having an income tied to it.
Now that I confessed that, I’m left with what?
Okay, that’s pretty dramatic. I have lots! I just feel lost. This motivated, energetic, goal-orientated mama is without a plan or direction and it’s really throwing me for a loop.
I’ll figure it out. I always do.
12 a.m. Multigrain Chips and salsa
8:30 a.m. leftover pork loin and mashed potatoes. I had zero desire for breakfast foods.
9:30 a.m. Freeze-dried peaches with the 4-Year-Old — he hates most fruit texture but enjoys the crunch of freeze-dried ones.
12 p.m. The eating out for lunch is a little bit out of control right now. The Husband and I went to our favorite sushi place and I had the sashimi combo, which comes with salmon, tuna, a California roll, green salad and hot and sour soup. I also had the husband’s spring roll.
6 p.m. I came home from work and made this awesome salmon I had marinating all day.
I’ll post more details when I can. I just don’t have it in me tonight.
7 p.m. Popcorn with the kids while we watched The Grinch.
9:30 p.m. I wanted “something” and this granola bar hit the spot.
*Should is a word I try not to use anymore but it still slips out now and then. We explain why in the #wycwyc book.