One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

2 Firsts Today!

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I did something today that may seem silly to you but to me represented so much of who I am today and how far I’ve come.

I had my yearly check-up at the doctor and I knew the first thing they were going to do was ask me to get on the scale. I wasn’t dreading or nervous but I decided I didn’t want to know.

I haven’t been on scale for at least a year. It doesn’t drive what I do. It no longer validates me, nor does it provide any information I want or need to know.

So I decided to tell the nurse I didn’t want to know my weight. At first I asked her if I needed to be weighed at all and she said I did but I didn’t need to see it. So I stepped on the scale backwards.

As I said, I know it’s silly. And I know if I was truly “cured” of all my weight loss and body image baggage I would be able to look at the number and not care. But I know myself. It would bother me even though I don’t want it too. And right now I don’t want to be bothered. I’m living the dream. I’m active. I eat good. I feel good. I look good.

Why introduce another variable that has the potential to take that away from me when I don’t have to?

It’s not worth it.

I’m proud of myself.

I’m also proud of myself for going out my comfort zone at the gym and programming part of the daily workout.

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Thursdays are our light day and we spend most of the class stretching but lately we’ve been throwing in a short partner workout or benchmark for fun.

It’s now my responsibility to do that.

Isn’t that crazy?!?

My partner in crime at the gym, Coach Joe, who has a degree in exercise science, is my go-to person. So I take a stab at a workout idea and then run it by him.

I can’t lie… it’s SUPER FUN!

Even more fun when I do it for the kid’s classes.

Speaking of, this weekend I head back to Philly for CrossFit Kids training! I’m excited but stressed. I’m squishing it in before the holidays and traveling right now is hard but I had to hop on the opportunity while it was so close. There aren’t always CrossFit Kids training classes offered so close to home.

So that’s it, my two firsts today. I’m proud of myself.

P.S. Here’s a few posts that show my history with the scale if you’re curious…



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Discussion

There are 6 comments so far.

    Barb

    December 11, 2015

    Roni, Its funny but the nurses know at my doctors office that I don’t want to know my weight. haha I go by how my clothes fit not a number because I also know the number would bother me. Have a great weekend!!

    sadie

    December 11, 2015

    I only step on the scale at the Drs office too…I really need to gain a few pounds over the holidays!

    LisaM

    December 11, 2015

    Good for you! I still cringe when I think about the idiot comment you got last year when you put your muscles on the scale at your check-up. If you can’t change doctors, you can at least give them fewer opportunities to show you they don’t know everything… ;-)

    Kathleen

    December 11, 2015

    Just stumbled across your site Wow! You are such an inspiration!

    Martha

    December 11, 2015

    You are brave….or something. for years I wouldn’t step on the doctor’s scale and then when I did, I said “don’t tell me!!!” Of course that was when I was fat. And when I logged in to the site I saw the number and OMG.

    I don’t know what is the right answer. I know for me at 5’8″ I can’t NOT know the number on the scale. It’s all well and good to know that I’m doing all the right things: eating right, cardio, weights, yoga……but if I’m eating too much and the number goes up too much that is a problem.

    I don’t let the scale dictate my life or happiness. but like any measure, it helps to keep me in balance.

    Jackie

    December 12, 2015

    Way to go on your firsts and to own it all. Have fun in Philly and in learning more about Kids Crossfit.