One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Soul Searching at the Beach

13 Comments 2996 views

So ummmm … yeah … I fell off the planet. Well, at least that’s how it felt to me. I haven’t posted since Monday (longest non-blogging stretch every for me I think).  I stopped checking my email. I DIDN’T stop posting photos on IG (because it’s just so much fun!) but I did stop checking other social media sites.

I just needed a break. I’ve been struggling. And I don’t mean in the weight-loss realm — although I usually do medicate with food — I mean in the LIFE realm.

Earlier last week I saw this and almost broke into tears.

11667473_1661033420785542_6408546757330871530_n

I feel like I’ve been “holding it together” for so long I forgot how not to, if that makes any sense.

So while at the beach I decided to let go. I soaked up everything! The beach, the ocean, the rides, the games, the family time, the kids, the husband, everything!

I didn’t need to run or food journal or even reflect on my days.

I just let myself BE and it was exactly what my soul needed.

I took early-morning walks with these two.

20150714_090256

We did some serious beach playing.

20150716_105823

And relaxing!

Screen Shot 2015-07-18 at 8.29.11 PM

It was an absolute blast.

20150716_133000

Although there were some whiny too — 4 is a trying age in my opinion.

20150716_183623

But oh so fun as we were able to do so much more together this year!

20150717_170720

Thursday and Friday I found two different yoga on the beach classes and seized both of them.

Screen Shot 2015-07-18 at 8.29.01 PM

The instructors were awesome and each class gave me something I needed.

Especially Friday’s when this poem was shared:

Maybe there’s no box to think outside.

Maybe there’s no lock, no door, or key.

Perhaps there’s just the scared, small me

holding tight to turf that isn’t mine,

trying to be somebody.

I struggle for release.

I seek and strive,

all the while failing to see the obvious.

The only walls in front of me are those I’ve built myself,

the fortress of my personality so well defended it seems impenetrable.

What I create, I can take down –

or maybe I am free right now.

That really spoke to me. I’ve always been my own worst enemy. I think a lot of us are.

OK, I’m not going to do that blogger thing where I make some grand plans or new goals at the end of this post. I’m not “starting fresh” or putting a new plan into action. There is nothing to do or work on or prove (to myself).

This is going to sound cheesy and, well, ad-like but it’s true… I’m just going to keep doing what What I Can When I Can. It’s all I got.

 

 



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 13 comments so far.

    Leslie

    July 18, 2015

    So good to see you relaxing. It does the heart good.

    Andhika

    July 19, 2015

    Ahhh,,, lovely day to play with those kids… here we too,, National holiday…

    CARLA

    July 19, 2015

    laughing as you’re now refreshed and I need a break <3
    cycle of life…

      roni

      July 19, 2015

      Refreshed? Not sure that’s the right word. More like closer to being content. :)

    sylvia

    July 19, 2015

    Roni,
    who wrote the poem? It is lovely.
    I think that is what vacations are for — to shift our viewpoint so that even if we go to the same place, the same time every year with the same people, we come back changed, refreshed, energized.

      roni

      July 19, 2015

      I don’t know! She recited it and I found it on another blog with no credit.

      JennieM

      July 19, 2015

      Danna Fauld – Outside The Box

    jody

    July 19, 2015

    good to hear from you from the beach….enjoy

    Emma

    July 19, 2015

    That poem is so so lovely! We so often find excuses for things we feel vulnerable doing, and actually it’s just our own restrictions stopping us from doing things.

    Looks like you had such an awesome time – life long memories for sure xx

    Martha

    July 19, 2015

    You are allowed a break! We all need some balance in our lives among work, exercise, relaxing, spiritual rest, sleep……OK you get it. Just have some fun.

    Tracey

    July 20, 2015

    Wow, this is great!!! It’s so good to unplug. I just started taking an interest in Yoga, which is helping me with the need to unplug. Great job, keep it up!

    Tina

    July 20, 2015

    This vacation looks awesome. You look awesome! Great ending to this post by the way. I’ve been going to yoga the last two weeks and I swear I have tears strolling down my face EVERY damn time the instructor says something inspirational at the end.

      roni

      July 20, 2015

      I cried both times too! lol