You’re all going to think I’m crazy but the thing I missed most while away on vacation was the 6 a.m. class at the gym. It’s amazing how much I get out of that hour. The workout, the people, the sweat, the sense of accomplishment just kicks off the day.
Today we tested out front squats and I hit a new personal record with 1 at 143 pounds. I never thought I’d be able to lift that much!
After class I was talking to the trainer and he said, “Well, when you’re able to do 20 strict pull-ups we’ll….”
I didn’t even let him finish his sentence.
20?! I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT!
He turned to me with a straight face and said, “Yes you will.”
There was no hesitation in his voice.
I’ve been pondering it all day.
There’s been a heck of a lot of things I thought I’d never be able to do, especially in the fitness realm — I’m not even going to list them here and muddy up my post, if you’re interested click here to check out my Athletic Adventures page — yet I still sell myself short every. single. time.
Karen got me thinking about something similar last week with her post on modesty vs. humility. Here’s a small snippet:
We also marvel at (and are sometimes jealous or downright critical of) women who seemingly didn’t get the same message, or who did and chose to ignore it…women who are living their lives, not in reaction to others, and not perfectly, but on their own terms.
Here’s what I figured out: those women know the difference between modesty (having a limited overall opinion of themselves and their abilities, or pretending to be less than they are) and humility (an acknowledgement of their limitations).
I sometimes think the nuance between modesty and humility is semantics, but Karen is right, I DO marvel at confident women. Women who live their lives on their own terms with no apologies or ego. They just do what they do and, in a way, give permission for the rest of us to do the same.
I want to be one of those women, and I find I’m becoming one slowly but surely.
As much as I wished it was just in my nature, it’s not. I let other people influence me more than I want to admit, and even though I sometimes projected confidence as a young woman, inside I was self-hating and miserable.
I can’t put my finger on exactly what changed me (or is changing me). I think it’s a combination of so many things — maybe my age? Blogging? Throwing out the scale? Lifting? Constantly seeking growth and experiences?
This year at the beach I strutted around in a bikini and refused to hide myself.
And you know what? I’m by far not the skinniest I’ve ever been.
Ten years ago I wrote the first goal I ever set and I think it may be the last one to be achieved:
If you’re like me, you wouldn’t be seen dead on the beach without a T-shirt covering your bathing suit! I’ve been like that since a preteen. One of my big goals is to feel comfortable in my own skin. I think this is the toughest of them all.
(I no longer update my goals page but you can see my original goals when this was specifically my weight loss blog by clicking here.)
I can’t lie, the first few days on the beach my inner mean girl tried so very hard to get me to cover up. By the end of the week I forgot I was even wearing a swimsuit. <– That right there is the power of pushing though your comfort zone. It forces you to grow and you get callous — callous in the best possible way.
I know I’m not sporting the perfect bikini body (whatever that means). I’m not a fitness model or a body competitor. I have nothing to prove, no one to impress. My goal now is to live a happy, long life and be a good example for my kids. I want to be strong, fit and active for as long as possible and in my opinion I can only achieve that by:
- Eating Healthy
- Moving More
- Being Confident
All this has led me to come to a simple conclusion: my body will be what it will be and I’m done devoting any more energy thinking about it. I truly am over it.
My friend Alexandra of Fun and Fit recently shared this on Facebook and it really captures my thoughts perfectly:
I just had a fitness student of mine ask me to get her “bikini ready.” I want to emphasize my position for ALL my female friends – A: You have a body. B: You are now bikini ready. I teach fitness for HEALTH reasons. Looking hot is a lucky side effect you get. Please believe me, the ocean doesn’t care if you have cellulite. The sun doesn’t care if you have stretch marks from giving birth. The sand doesn’t care about the impression your body makes. People who judge you don’t care about you either. They are insecure. Let their insecurity bounce off you and your bikini. Party on, Sexy Ladies.
I didn’t get to a place of bathing suit confidence overnight. This has been 10 years in the making. Last year I posted about the whole “2 steps to a bikini body” thing and it’s still all true. For some of us it’s not just not that easy.
But it is possible.
I never thought I’d be able to that either.
Things I ate today:
(I’m changing up my food journal once again. It’s time. I can’t promise daily posts anymore but I’ll share now and then to give you a glimpse of my diet as it really has changed over the years and continues to do so.)
- Creamy Apple Pie Oatmeal From Scratch — with a bit more egg white and added blueberries. They were a great addition!
- Leftover Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Ham — I made some over the weekend and ate the rest as a late morning snack.
- Leftover steak with 1/2 baked potato and Jack Daniels Mushrooms (I need to post this idea, they come out AMAZING every time and I totally made it on a whim one day) and some fresh berries.
- THIS AMAZING SHRIMP SALAD! I can’t wait to share it on GreenLiteBites…
- Some tortilla chips and trail mix while watching TV and playing Memory with the kids.