One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

ASK RONI Q&A

Ask Roni: Is My Body Capable of Losing Weight?

4 Comments 2373 views

Hi Roni,
Like you, I recently started university and gained a lot of weight – my parents and family managed to point it out and kill my feelings. Anyway, I have started to be a lot healthier – I count calories but I assure you that it isn’t in an obsessive way and I don’t feel deprived at all. I can feel this being a lifestyle. My biggest problem is patience – losing weight is a long process and I know I will see results in a month or two months etc but my goal weight and body is something I can only achieve a lot later. Thats something I would love your help with – sometimes I even feel like my body just isn’t capable of losing weight. It really brings me down. Any advice?
Thanks! I really appreciate your blog.
Best,
Umang

It’s hard to answer your question because I don’t know if your body is capable of losing weight. I don’t know your starting weight, current weight, height, what you’re eating. I really don’t know anything and even if I did I’m not really qualified nor do I feel comfortable telling someone how much weight they should or could potentially lose. And really, it doesn’t matter.

I’m not saying that to be mean or disregard your question. I’m making a point in hopes you will start to look at the changes you are making from a different angle.

Let’s focus on the patience and process points of your question. Weight loss and lifestyle change take a lot of patience and they are a process, one that never really ends, at least in my opinion.

At first that may sound depressing but when you really think about it…

it’s FREEING.

Any changes you make in an effort to lose weight should be changes you are willing to do for the rest of your life. Again, sounds scary but what’s the alternative? Crash diet to fit a certain size for some event followed by weeks of binging, eating everything in sight that you made off limits while you were restricting? Then what’s next? You feel guilty so maybe you join a gym or buy a treadmill, only to use it a few times before giving up? Then to make yourself feel better you order a pizza for dinner, polish off a pint of ice cream and vow to start your new diet on Monday?

Lather, rinse … repeat.

It was easy for me to write that because that’s how I lived for years. Now, of course, I’m making some big assumptions that you are stuck in the same cycle I was.

yo-yo dieting cycle of hell

Regardless, I would also get “down” about my body and assume it wasn’t capable of weight loss — or rather I wasn’t capable of change, both of which weren’t true.

My advice to you is:

Continually make small changes that will inch you toward your goals

This is what the #wycwyc book is all about! Little changes add up. Consistently push yourself to eat a little better, move a little more. Everything counts!

Be patient with yourself and the process.

If you are struggling with this, I find the distraction method works wonders. It’s really hard to feel down about your body when you are too busy using it to do fun things! Look for a new hobby, try a new class at the gym, research fun activities in your town. Your body is meant to DO things not just look a certain way. Once I realized that (by doing more things myself) I was a lot happier regardless of my body size.

Celebrate every small victory. 

I don’t care if it’s a half-pound loss, a day without mindless snacks or a meal in which you tried a new vegetable. Own those small changes. Celebrate them. Treat yourself with kindness not disdain. You have to be your own cheerleader.

Weight loss is only possible when you approach it from a place of self-love, not hate. You may want your body to change but that doesn’t mean you disrespect what it is now.

I hope that helps Umang. Thanks for writing!

– Roni



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 4 comments so far.

    Brenna

    August 1, 2015

    Great advice! I’d been overweight for most of my life and then discovered weight watchers– for me it works because it’s a lifetime change and something I’m able to live with pretty much forever. Restrictive diets don’t work long term because it’s impossible to stick with them.

    Sara

    August 1, 2015

    The weight loss phase is only one part of this whole thing. Really, that part is a few months to a few years. Maintenance is for 20, 30 or 40+ years. There is no stop date on this journey, and it’s one that the few of us who are successful will be on for the rest of our lives.

    It definitely can be overwhelming and a bit depressing when you think about it, but I also agree with you Roni that it can be freeing! I love knowing where I’ve been and knowing where I’m going. I love knowing that every time I go on a walk or have a balanced calorie day that I’ve gone one step further in the right direction. And I love knowing that all of the little things I’ve done have made big differences in my life and my health, and will continue to do so for the long term!

    Umang

    August 1, 2015

    Thanks! I appreciate your efforts answering me. It helped =)

    Umang

    Maria

    August 3, 2015

    Fantastic diagram!!!

    I often think about how we get into negative thought patterns around weight loss because we go through this crazy cycle you perfectly captured in your image. Why do we do this to ourselves?

    Instead, lets be kind to ourselves and take baby steps and celebrate them. I would much rather be happy instead of beating myself up all day, which is what I did for so many years and honestly, it didn’t help with losing weight. In fact, it made it worse and kept me in that loop. “How can I think about this differently because what I’ve been doing for 20+ years, isn’t working.” and then realized, I need to start small and the very first step was to stop beating myself up.

    Roni – thanks for this post, it’s sooooo true!! :)