I’ve been feeling defeated lately.
Promotion of the book is relentless and exhausting. FitBloggin‘ planning is more challenging than ever with brands wanting everything for free, speakers backing out and tickets not selling as easily as they have in the past. Truth be told, I feel disconnected from it and that feeling is oozing into everything. On top of that my sites are still continuously getting attacked and now that I’ve installed some security measures I’m getting notifications constantly alerting me to yet another brute force login attempt to my back-end. It’s a totally unwanted distraction during an already very busy time for me.
This afternoon I was getting changed so I could take the kids to the gym. It’s been hot so I dug out some shorts. I put them on and then immediately took them off with a big sigh. The Husband happened to be walking in the room at the time asked what was wrong.
“Nothing.” I said.
“That didn’t sound like nothing. What’s wrong?”
“Ugh, I can’t wear shorts.”
“Because my thighs jiggle.”
“Are you serious? You are a weight lifter. You are in amazing shape and you look great!”
I could go on and on with this dialogue. I compared myself to the other girls at the gym. I told him I’ve been feeling fat and uncomfortable.
I sounded like my old whiny, insecure self.
After a bit of soul searching I’ve come to the conclusion that all this self-doubt and body-image crap is directly related to my stress level with everything else I have going on. It’s not a coincidence. For some reason when I’m stressed I start to fall into a pit of self-doubt in all areas of my life including my body image.
- 5:45 a.m Chocolate Muffin on the way to the gym.
- 7:15 a.m. Post-workout shake (1 scoop).
- 10 a.m. Green Pineapple Core and Coconut Smoothie — I recorded a video today!
- 1 p.m. Sushi out with The Husband – salad, soup, sashimi, California roll
- 4:50 p.m Chocolate Muffin on the way to the gym.
- 7 p.m. Chick-Fil-A – Cobb Salad with grilled nuggets and a few fries
- 9:30 p.m. Apple with cheese <– Best choice I could have made. I was moments from rummaging through the pantry.
- 6 a.m. 500m row and stretches
Full Snack from the high hang position
5 @ 33 lbs
5 @ 53 lbs
5 @ 58 lbs
5 @ 63lbs
2 @ 68lbs
5 @ 53 lbs
5 @ 53 lbs
I modified the workouts today and did 5 rounds of:
10 Ground to Overhead with 65 lbs
10 Knee Raises
- 9:15 a.m. 2 mile walk to and from Evan’s School
- 5:30 p.m. 1/2 mile run and some ab work while the kids were in class