One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

ASK RONI Q&A

Ask Roni: Where Do I Start?

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I had lost all my weight was @ my goal weight. I’m not sure where it all went wrong but now I’m back where I started. I’m just not sure where to start again. Any ideas are helpful and writing this feels really weird. I’m not even sure what I am doing. I guess I just am looking for a friend and motivation.

-Tammy

Hi Tammy!

I’ve been meaning to respond for weeks. I’m so sorry!

I totally get that overwhelmed feeling you are experiencing. Sometimes there’s such a strong sense of hopelessness it cripples us. I’ve been there.

All I can do is reassure you that change is possible through baby steps done day in and day out. Don’t try to do everything all at once like I used to. There is no such thing as perfection. Pick one habit you’d like to work on and just focus on that. It could be eating more vegetables, keeping a food journal,  adding in more movement, quitting a soda habit, whatever!

It may take days or weeks to adopt or change this habit but the key is to not give up. Make it small.

Make. The. Commitment.

Build in accountability in some way.

Then, once you feel you’ve mastered or at least embraced this new healthy habit, add another and another and another. Push yourself out of your comfort zone ever so slightly but consistently. Try new foods, reach out to new friends (you did that by sending me this email!) look for new, fun and active things to do in your community.

I know the desire to lose weight can cause us to do some crazy stuff and that’s usually how we set ourselves up for failure. I lived the cycle for years but then I slowed down and focused on the things that were important to me beyond the scale. That’s when things really started to fall in place.

Where do you start?

That’s an easy yet complex question to answer. You start today, now, where YOU are. Don’t worry about getting there. Don’t worry about how long it’s going to take. Truly take it day by day and let all your small healthy shifts add up.

I’m honestly not sure how to answer this any other way. I know you may be looking for specifics but, truth be told, you know what to do. You just have to get out of your own way.

I have more insight on this post from a few weeks ago — click here.

I hope that helps a little.

-Roni



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Discussion

There are 11 comments so far.

    Kitty

    January 30, 2015

    I know that when I regained weight that I had lost, one of the reasons I found it hard to get started AGAIN was that I was starting AGAIN. I think in some way I felt that if I started over I was acknowledging that I had regained. And, really, I didn’t want to acknowledge that because it was just painful to do that. I didn’t want to even think about the fact I had regained, let alone accept and it and decide to move on. It took me awhile to get past that and recognize that whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not …I had regained. And, the only way to move forward was and start again was simply to start and see it as a new day and to move forward from the current reality.

      roni

      January 30, 2015

      Such a good point Kitty.. There does always seem to be a bit of denial happening and if we don’t start again it’s easier to ignore the fact we lost our way. That’s why I think it’s so important for folks to lose the diet mentality… then there are no more starts and ends… everything just is.

      Hannah

      January 31, 2015

      Addressing our thinking/attitudes/beliefs is challenging but it always seems like opportunities present themselves when we do. Sounds like you decided to live in the present with an eye of on the future (rather than a rear-view focus).

    Roni

    January 30, 2015

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    Alissa

    January 30, 2015

    Thank you for posting this, Roni. I am in the same situation as Tammy. Even though I successfully lost almost 90 lbs. in the past, I doubt myself- thinking I don’t know how to do it. I found myself trying methods that probably wouldn’t work for life and then just recently decided to go back to the way I had done it originally–and I am much happier. It’s a hard road to travel (AGAIN), that’s for sure.

    Martha

    January 30, 2015

    I can so relate to Tammy! That was me so many (too many!) times in the past. Not this time. This time I ditched the “diet” mentality and committed to eating healthy most of the time, tracking my food, and moving every day. As you learned, making small sustainable changes works. The way I live, both food and exercise, is completely different than it was even 3 years ago.
    It just feels different this time. I got rid of 80 pounds and have been at or under goal since April 2013.
    http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp

    Claude

    January 30, 2015

    If I may be so bold as to offer an alternate concept which has worked for many former clients. Reaching your goal weight is not an end in itself; frame it rather in the following fashion: reaching your initial goal merely demonstrates to YOU and the World you have mastered the process of positive change, and now you can continue your personal Journey to reach the next goal, and so on. This is why bite size goals (lose 5 lbs) are great, they are easy to reach, create repeated success, and therefore breed motivation and confidence. It’s all about mastering a process, not fixating on a number. You on this blog are seeking weight loss, I’m seek to be a better runner; we’re both subject to the same process along our Journey (along the way, I’ve lost 10 lbs). I hope this might help in a small way!

    Melissa

    January 31, 2015

    Personally this is where I find that attending ww meetings helps. Just finding support, and someone to help keep you accountable. I’ve been a lifetime member for a couple of years and when I stop attending meetings I always get off track.

    Mitch

    January 31, 2015

    I know the feeling of weight gain. HATE. And a person trying to do all that they can to get rid of what they really hate and despise. Its normal to suddenly try to cut all the bad all at once. The key is not to beat yourself up, we are only human. There is a great sense of achievement when we get back on track.

      Hannah Rowley

      February 2, 2015

      Roni – This comment/message is linking to me but I didn’t make it. Just wanted to give a head’s up.

    Hannah

    January 31, 2015

    Where to start …. What are the first few ideas that come to mind? Start with one of those. Or perhaps give yourself some time/space to think about how you want to feel (e.g., energized, balanced, confident, strong, etc). Then start with actions/behaviors that reinforce those feelings. One last suggestion, expect to change, expect to change it up. I say adhere to your plan until change makes more sense.