One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Why My Scale Will Never Return

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As a previous daily, weekly and monthly weigher I never thought I’d write this post. Ever.  When I was losing, the scale was my best friend. When I gained it gave me the nudge to keep at it. I learned to look at the numbers it showed me as feedback and it helped me progress to where I am today.

That chapter of my life is over.

I can honestly say I will never return to the scale as a measure of any type of success again. It provides me nothing of value anymore.

What if I Gain Weight?

For starters, if I gain a little weight, I know. Do I really need the scale to tell me? Why fret over some number day in and day out clouding my mind distracting me from the things that are really important? Am I eating the way I want to be eating? Am I staying active? How do I feel? Those are the things that drive me, not the number on the scale. And if I feel my weight creeping up (it happens), then I adjust accordingly. I just don’t see the need to get numbers involved anymore at this point.

Which brings me to the second reason the scale won’t return …

It’s a Tool I No Longer Need

I’ve been living pretty balanced over the past 10 years. I used the scale heavily in the beginning, teetered on it while figuring out maintenance and then eased it out. If I compare my scale usage with my confidence in being able to manage my weight it would look something like this. 

20141106_scaleConfidence

As my confidence rose my scale usage decreased. Isn’t this what’s supposed to happen over time? When you are learning to ride a bike you don’t keep the training wheels on forever. When you feel confident don’t you take them off and never look back?

The scale, for me, became a training tool and I simply don’t need it anymore. Do I still struggle with body image issues? Sure, and part of me always will. But why handcuff myself to a device that constantly reminds me of my skinny driven issues? I used it to lose the weight. I have a handle on my diet. I’ve successfully incorporated fitness into my life. I am doing all the things a healthy, balanced person should be doing. Why then do I need a scale to tell me if I’m succeeding?

I’m Not Anti-Scale, Really I’m Not!

There is no doubt I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for my experience with the scale. It can be a very valuable tool for folks figuring things out in the beginning. My time with it, however, is over.

There’s a part of me that misses its simplicity. In a way, weight loss is a heck of a lot less complicated during weight loss. You follow a plan, you weigh in and the scale tells you if you succeeded — of course it’s more complicated than that, I’m over-simplifying for the sake of argument — but what happens when you achieve your dream of weight loss? What happens when you change your lifestyle? Your goals? Your priorities?

When I first started this blog it was to stay accountable on that “simple” weight loss journey. Then I thought, hey! Wouldn’t it be interesting to keep it up? I like having the outlet and no one ever shows what weight loss is like after the “after.”

Well, here it is. In my “after” story, there is no more scale. It doesn’t serve me. My goals are different. My life is different.

I am different.

P.S. In case you are wondering the day I official stepped off the scale just over a year ago — click here to see that post. It’s been somewhere in my basement ever since. 



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Discussion

There are 22 comments so far.

    Martha Glantz

    November 6, 2014

    Love your approach but it won’t work for me. I love my body now….the way it looks AND they way it moves. It is strong and flexible. I also not know that for me I can put on 10 + pounds and my clothes fit and I’ll look the same so for me, weighing a couple of times a week is a must. Keeps me focused. If it’s up I don’t get depressed; it is just a number. But it is a notice to me that the way I’ve been eating and/or moving is out of sync with the way I want to be living my life.

      RG

      November 7, 2014

      I agree that the scale provides feedback faster than my clothes. Also with monthly bloating it’s easier to dismiss a small increase (never underestimate the human capacity for denial). It’s like the speedometer in my car,a fitbit, runkeeper or mapmyrun, or a watch. I may know I’ve stayed up past my bedtime, but I won’t automatically adjust without some mental limit.

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      That makes sense! I’ve been working on the auto adjust and I’m really getting there. It’s funny as I’ve given up MyFitnessPal, the fitbit, and running apps too. Now I just run, I just eat and I fall asleep on the couch most nights before I even make it to bed. I’m simply moving on from measuring stuff I guess. Not that I won’t revisit, just not now.

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      You got to do what you got to do. I’m happy you found what’s working for you!

    Deniz

    November 6, 2014

    Love this! I think it is so empowering. I too have been scale-free for years. It is freeing. I keep check on my weight by assessing how my clothes feel on me. Being tied to a number is SO stressful and time consuming and unimportant. Way to go!

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      YES! That’s how I feel about it.. it’s too time consuming for me now and I don’t want to devote any more energy to it.

    Karen P

    November 7, 2014

    Got to use the tools that are most helpful to you. For me, I”m a daily weigher- but I’ve only got 2.75 years of weight maintenance under my belt. After 40 years of yo-yo dieting, I do keep track.

    I’ve got to meet health insurance discounts, so “a weigh “I go. Daily. Here’s to finding what works and using or discarding those tools, as needed.

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      I was a daily weigher at that point too! You got to do what works for you.

    carla birnberg

    November 7, 2014

    YES!! shed mine around 20 years ago and never looked back. initially I had check in jeans which I tried on ALLL THE TIME and it worked for me.

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      I should have guessed you a scale free girl. :) Miss our editing calls! (I know, I be crazy!)

    Imacrazymomof4

    November 7, 2014

    I’m not trying to be difficult or nasty when I respond, just trying to understand. I always get confused as to why the number on the scale matters so much. If you know that you are doing everything right and everything else lines up than why would a number matter at all? It kindof sortof seems like you are convincing yourself that it’s okay to not use it. To each his own…some may look at it as training wheels on a bike while others may look at it as a seatbelt in a car driving down the road. When something bothers me and seems to have a negative impact on me I try to face it head on and deal with the emotions it produces not just get rid of it, or put it out of my vision. Is there a possibility that the reason you post often about not weighing and using a scale is avoiding something that could be dealt with if you did weigh yourself? Maybe the number on the scale wouldn’t have the same effect on you if you dealt with the deeper feelings that weighing produces on you. I guess I just don’t understand the rerereexplanation for not using the scale. Now I’m starting to confuse myself.

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      We’ve had this conversation before and we are on two sides of the coin. I see what you’re saying but it doesn’t apply to me. If the number no longer serves me why bother with it? Why the distraction? Why measurement? Why the constant reminding of some old goal that’s not my goal anymore? I simply don’t care what it is. To me the scale = getting skinny. That’s not me anymore. I’ve moved on.

      As for the reexplanation… someone commented on a post a few days ago that they are waiting for me to bring back the scale. That’s what inspired this post.

      Imacrazymomof4

      November 7, 2014

      No wonder I felt like I was having a déjà vu.

      RoniNoone

      November 7, 2014

      lol yup.. annoying blogger trait #4329 Revisiting the same things over and over again. I’m sure someone else will give me slack for it. lol

    Joy @ WhatIWeighToday.com

    November 7, 2014

    I think the most important thing about weighing yourself and the scale is to understand your real relationship to it. I know many people for whom the scale is a dark, destructive force. Those people should not weigh themselves; it does more harm than good. And it’s so good you see that you don’t need it anymore. I envy you that, but I know I’m not in that place and probably never will be. For me the scale is a needed reality check and a form of biofeedback. When I don’t weigh myself, my habits are getting away from me. I tend to be in denial. In terms of keeping track of your size with your clothes, that, for me at least, is a laugh. I have an incredibly elaborate entirely unconscious/subconscious system that causes me to shuffle things as they are getting tight to the back of the closet or in a far corner of the basement. I need the scale to keep honest with myself, but I know that applies to me and no one else necessarily. The key thing is: everyone is different and knowing what is right for you.

    Maggie Brown

    November 7, 2014

    I am there! I am at the point where the scale is no longer how I measure my success, my changes my strength. But I am still scared to trust ME! I still am very hard on myself when I stray off plan, then I binge. I need to trust ME and allow the next chapter of my life to happen! Thank you for writing this. Thank you for sharing, thank you for being transparent to us!!

      Maggie Brown

      November 7, 2014

      I am 3 1/2 years into my journey, 1 year maintaining 90-94 lbs lost

    Emily Brown

    November 8, 2014

    Great post! I am so with you Roni! Last month I made some small changes to my lifestyle. I started eating more cleaner, moving more, body was toning up, hair was looking healthier, energy was at a fantastic level, pants a little looser so naturally I decided to weigh myself. The scale did not budge and all of a sudden my incredible and proud feelings were deflated. That number negated all the great things I had noticed and that was when I decided to get rid of my scale. For me, that has been the best choice as now I really trust and rely on my body for feedback. Thank you for this post!

    Elle

    November 8, 2014

    I’m a daily weigher cause I’ve been struggling with hormone imbalancing for a couple of years. Before that I had never had weight problems so I would weigh myself once in a blue moon… Boy, I miss those days haha

    Elle

    http://delightfulloss.com/

    Michele

    November 8, 2014

    But can you really say NEVER? If I had a dime for all the times I said I’d NEVER do something again…..well, you know… :)

      RoniNoone

      November 8, 2014

      I thought about that when I wrote it but then I realized this is exactly how I feel right now. If I change my mind, I changed my mind but right now I really don’t see that happening.

    I couldn’t agree with you more Roni. Why do bother ourselves with those numbers when it didn’t do anything to heal our metabolism and help us lose weight. I also don’t count my calories. For me if I eat the right food and diet plan everything else will follows.