One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

The Slow, Steady Process of Change and How Blogging Helps

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Yesterday I did what I usually do here on the blog. I wrote a post I needed to write for me about stopping the pursuit of skinny and acknowledging I’m in a good place. Lots of people chimed in with comments (not going to lie — love the comments) and as I started to reply to this one in particular I thought it warranted an entire post. Cindy says:

Roni, I hear you and I get it. What I don’t understand is why the need to devote an entire blog post to this topic if ‘you are so over the number.’ I feel like I read this same schtick about every 4-6 weeks in one way or the other on this blog. Which, fine, I’m sure the ‘It’s my blog. I write what I want. If you don’t like it, don’t read.’ is coming around the corner. I get that, too. It’s hard to break a habit after reading for so long but it may be time. Maybe I’ve just outgrown RW…..and BTL for that matter….which really is a shame. Thanks for listening.

Now, Cindy, I’m not singling you out in a negative way, I swear! Your comment really got me thinking about how I blog, what really is my “schtick” and how we all change and outgrow things.

First, yes, this is my blog and I write what I want, but in a lot of cases I write what I need. I’ve thought about it and I have beaten this dead horse (coming to terms with dropping the scale, accepting my body for what it is, etc.) for about a year on and off. If you look back through my archives I did the same thing when I stopped food journaling, walked away from Weight Watchers, accepted that I was a runner, dealt with the emotional side of skinny and even when I stopped posting daily to go to weekly scale readings.

The very thing you are pointing out is the very reason why this blog helps me continue to grow and transition into a new phase.

Why did I write the post yesterday? Because it really did bother me! Of course, someone pointing out I gained weight bothered me. To be told I should watch what I eat, stay in a certain calorie range, etc., is disheartening when you are truly doing the best you can and feel as though the advice is unwarranted.  I’m not as thick skinned as I appear (if I appear that way that is). It bothered the shit out of me.

THAT’S WHY I BLOGGED ABOUT IT.

(I’m not screaming at you, just stressing.)

:)

Really though, blogging is how I deal. I get out of my own head and attack those feelings from the outside by writing about how I want to feel.

Guess what?

It works!

Over time.

Change is a slow process. Well, at least self-initiated change when you are trying to work toward a better you.  That’s why blogging helps me so much.

Let me bring up a more practical example as accepting my body is a pretty lofty goal.

Tomorrow is Halloween and for the first time in 10 years I have ZERO interest in eating candy. I’ve been passing by our cauldron of treats for a couple of weeks.

Screen Shot 2014-10-30 at 10.09.14 AM

But I haven’t had even an urge to dip my hand in that bucket. Not once, even though this year I finally let The Husband win and bought “the good stuff” as he says.

If you’ve been reading for a while you know I’m sucker for candy and chocolate and I’m a big believer in not denying yourself.

Let’s look at how I blogged about Halloween through the years.

This year I have not one iota of interest! Maybe that will change when I’m helping the kids sort their score, but at this moment, no desire to put any of that crap in my body.

So maybe the Halloween posts aren’t exactly like beating the “I’m over the number on the scale” horse to death because they are only addressed once a year but the same concept applies. Over time, the more I face things head on through the blog (from body image to Halloween candy) the more I’m slowly changing. 

I could totally see how this could get old from the reader perspective. And to be honest, blogging adds another dimension because there is a small part of me that worries what you guys think or if I’m changing my brand too much or if I should just stay the same doing what I always did because that’s what everyone related to in the first place.

Then I remind myself: NO, the POINT of the blog was to get me to this place and to help me continually grow. So if I lose readers because I stop sharing daily food journals or weighing myself or posting about CrossFit, then so be it. This blog isn’t for them, it’s for me. That sounds harsh because I am, in my nature, a people pleaser, but it’s the truth.

At the end of the day, all I can do is blog when I’m inspired. Yesterday it was my yearly physical that did that. Tomorrow it may be a new product I find, a quote, an experience with my kids or something I ate. Honestly, I have no idea.  I write what feels right for/to me that day and hopefully it helps someone else in some way.

Really, that’s all I can do. I have no grand plans for this blog. I don’t write and schedule things in advance or hop on the latest news stories (unless they really do inspire me) to get a boost in traffic. I made this tag line — I’m just a mom who’s sharing her journey from fat to skinny to confident — for a reason.

If you have outgrown me I wish you well. Life is too short to read blogs that don’t inspire you.



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I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 72 comments so far.

    Corrie

    October 30, 2014

    No. I’m not over you. Just the opposite. Four years ago I started out at 5’3, 217 lbs. I was done being fat. I was done being the chubby friend, the chubby mom. I spent nine months losing 80 pounds and rediscovering me. It’s how I found your blog. I worked out 5-6 days a week and was religious to what I ate. It ruled my life. I felt great, did things I never thought I could do and was amazed. I then broke my tailbone and found out I was pregnant with my fourth child and in that pregnancy moved to another state. I gained everything back. I felt defeat. I just spent the last year losing it all again. I’m 15 pounds away from where I was when I got pregnant, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m four years older. I’m almost 40. But. My workouts now are more committed than the last time. I’m stronger. I’m tougher. And gosh darn it, I do it with four kids and a lack of sleep. So, yeah whatever. You do what works for you. You are a motivation.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      What is it about being almost 40? I fell the same way!

      4 kids, almost 40, doing what you can when you can. Keep killing it! You are the motivation!

      KHawk

      November 1, 2014

      Right on.

    Tina

    October 30, 2014

    I notice there’s a cycle on this blog too BUT fore me, it’s what keeps me feeling like someone out there “gets me”. I like that you write whatever feels relevant that moment in your life. Feeling high, feeling low, and striving to feel high again….. that’s why I love the WYCWYC term of yours.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      Thanks.. and really, if there was no cycle there’s be no progress. Not everyone is 100% all the time, at least I’m not and instead of not blogging during those times I choose to face it head on.

    Anar

    October 30, 2014

    Well, here is my two cents. When you say “I am over it” because that’s where you need to be not where you actually are it comes across as “not true”. My reaction after reading was your post was “I don’t think you are over it. If you were you wouldn’t write this post”. But because I had said it once before that “if it is bothering you do something about it” I kept my mouth shut. So it may be just the words you choose to write about it. Instead of saying I am over it when you aren’t yet, it would have been better (in my opinion) to write the post you have today…but then it is my personal opinion.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      I hear you.. but I WANT TO BE OVER IT and every post I write gets me closer and closet to that point. There’s a bit of “fake it till you make it” happening there. I don’t want to do anything about it, there’s nothing to do. I’m right where I want to be, doing the things I want to be doing. What bothers me is that even though that’s happening I’m being told it’s barely good enough. That’s what I’m over and it’s absolutely true.

    Connie C.

    October 30, 2014

    As a new reader of your blog, I haven’t been able to see the repetition. I probably won’t go back and read ALL your posts, though I may skip around reading ones that interest me.

    With that in mind, yesterday’s post was a “new” perspective I hadn’t read in a blog before. It spoke to me, and made me want to get to that point where a weight gain means more muscle and not a binge.

    So there’s another reason not to feel badly about beating a dead horse. For some of us, it was still a very timely and fresh post.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      It’s hard to balance new and old readers too. I always feel like I’m boring the old but orientating the new. Thanks for reading!

    April

    October 30, 2014

    Roni, I found you several years ago when I joined Weight Watchers. Like you, I have transitioned through many different approaches over the years while maintaining a 50-60 lb weight loss. I completely relate to your style of changing approaches, tracking, not tracking, weighing, not weighing, etc. For me these are the signs of someone truly dedicated to a healthy (not skinny) lifestyle. I think it is important to continue to evaluate what works best for you at that moment in time. I don’t always want to read the blog of someone who has everything completely figured out. I can’t relate to that. I would much prefer to read the perspective of another mom who is powering through, sometimes going backward and figuring out how to move forward again. Thanks for being an authentic voice :)

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      Thanks for reading!

    Sonya

    October 30, 2014

    Next time you’re in her office, maybe take the opportunity to talk to her about your story. In this situation, you are the expert about how to have a healthy lifestyle and relationship to the scale. If you just agree with her because it’s easier, you’re missing the chance to teach her something new and give her a new perspective. We’re all here to learn from each other. I loved this post, not because I’m anti-physicians, but because it’s your story. Great work.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      What a good point. I should. She knows I blog but she’s only known me since losing.

    Mehgann

    October 30, 2014

    I get what people are saying when they think that you are not being honest, but for me, that whole telling yourself something is true until it becomes true is how I do things as well. So you don’t come across as inauthentic. Maybe a little bit in DENIAL, but not fake. Never fake. I like that you engage with us as readers by arguing when we say something you disagree with or by pointing out something we have said that made you think in a way you never did before. One of my favorite ages for kids is around two years old, because you can just WATCH them taking in everything and learning. I feel that way when I read your blog. You’ve transformed…you’ve changed. And I have NO DOUBT you will again over time. Watching a human grow, learn…it’s a special and amazing thing. Thank you for letting us into your life.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      HA! Denial! That may be the word! The number bothers me, I don’t want it to but it does… the way I deal is to tell myself it doesn’t. Yup, you hit the nail on the head.

      Anar

      October 30, 2014

      I also think denial is a good word. I never thought you are fake. Also telling myself something is true just isn’t my way so I get very uneasy observing it. I wish you could put a denial flag over the post for people like me so we know you know what you are doing:)

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Why? Why should it matter? I do feel that way (over it) to a certain extent or I wouldn’t have been able to write the post. However, I have a naggy little voice that says “you should be skinnier! Thinner! Don’t eat!” That’s destructive, not healthy and needs to silenced which is why I write about it. Just because my logical brain and my emotional brain aren’t 100% is synch doesn’t mean I have a bad case of denial. It means I’m human and I’m battle a lot of internal crap. If it makes you feel uneasy than maybe you are dealing with something too.

      So yeah, I’m in denial that I feel 100% ok with someone telling me I’m pretty much overweight but I’m not in denial that I’m living, doing, eating EXACTLY the way I want to be.

      Anar

      October 31, 2014

      I didn’t mean to offend you. You are living a good life. You don’t need to defend it to me, your doctor or anyone. I have read your blog since I think 2007 and there is a reason I keep reading it. What I said was purely about the style of your writing about it. It was not a personal attack on you and you don’t need to attack me.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      I wasn’t offended! I thought we were having a good conversation?!? How did I personally attack you? I don’t even understand. Just as you always give me things to think about I was giving you something to think about.

      Anar

      October 31, 2014

      Oh OK! See I really don’t want to offend you and written messages are really prone to doing that. Anyway, we all have issues for sure. And you and I both are people who deal with it. It’s just how we communicate that dealing to ourselves (and the world) is a bit different. That’s all…and now that I think about it denial is a strong word even though even you originally agreed with it. You just have a different method than me and you know what you are doing. From now on I know what you are doing too so I am not confused:)

      Your loyal reader

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Denial may be harsh but it’s the closest word we can use. When I feel something I don’t want to be feeling I face it head on and basically blog my own advice to myself. If that makes any sense. It’s like I’m my own therapist. lol

    Wendy Waits Gratzer

    October 30, 2014

    I admire the fact that you were able to not be tempted by the Halloween Candy! I wish I felt the same!

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      Thanks! I wish I could bottle up this feeling I have right now. I really don’t want it. I think the cleaner and cleaner my diet gets the less and less I want the junk. It’s been a very slow process though!

    Vicki

    October 30, 2014

    I am a new follower. I have read a few of your older post and the newer ones I have enjoyed them all so far. I tend to blog about the same things to sometimes. I don’t have many followers and I guess that is a good thing because I would hate for some one to be so negative about things that mean a lot to me or bother me. I can not believe the doctor told you not to gain more weight. I think I would have had to say something to them especially as healthy as it sounds that you are. I wish you the best.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      Thanks!

    Janelle H

    October 30, 2014

    Ronni, I totally agree with you. Today I googled “how to hold yourself accountable for fitness”. I think having something that holds you accountable and allows you to get out everything you’re feeling so that you don’t hold it in and end up binging or something is a big part of success. I’ve thought about starting a mock blog just for that reason. Do you, exactly what you need to do to keep up the incredible progress you have made both physically and mentally! Honestly I am jealous of the confidence and security you have discovered living in your own skin. You are an inspiration and I’m glad you shared this!

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      Do it! It’s SO helpful!

    Cindy

    October 30, 2014

    Thanks for your response, Roni. I’m not surprised in the least that an entire post was devoted to one comment made (by me). You have never been one to take lightly people who disagree with you or post out of the norm comments. But at least you don’t delete them!…. I have to wonder though how bloggers can truthfully make the claim “This blog isn’t for them, it’s for me.” The posts may not be all for us but they are at least partially for us, right? No? Really? If in fact they are truly just for you, then why post them up for 1000s of regular readers?! Zero sense that makes to me.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2014

      Why does anyone share anything? What they write, draw, take a picture of, paint, sing? They want to relate to people, share their story, inspire, motivate, whatever. So yea.. I want to use my story to inspire, it’s partially for others, but the driving force behind what I write is personal and for me. In 30 years no one will give a crap about my experience with the doctor or my Sensational Sunday posts but I’ll have a post that helped me grow and a journal of fun times with my kids. Makes total sense to me.

      Mehgann

      October 31, 2014

      I was a music major in college, and we actually had a professor who asked us “who do you play for, yourself or the audience?” I think most of the audience members would be surprised to learn that 90% of us in that class said we played mostly for ourselves. It’s the truth! I want the audience to enjoy it, but I don’t go through hours of practicing every night, making minor and (seemingly) insignificant corrections to each little section of the music because I think the audience will notice or care (hint: they won’t). I do it because it’s good for my soul.

      Tiffany Walker

      October 31, 2014

      It is interesting how the negative commenter who has “outgrown” this blog is still following along and continuing to comment…seems a little troll-like to me. If you’re so over it, just go already. Why is it so hard to believe that this blog is therapeutic for Roni and she shares it in hopes that others who can relate will find her thoughts and strategies useful as well? If you can’t relate, then stop reading…it seems like the obvious solution, as opposed to thinking a blogger should tailor their posts to where you personally are in your life. I am always impressed by how Roni handles negative comments…always civil, always considering the other perspective and willing to engage in discussion.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Thanks. I actually love when people drop me a nugget I didn’t think of or a perspective that didn’t occur to me. There’s a few regular commenters that do that and I really appreciate them. I thought Cindy’s original comment was fascinating because she basically pointed out that what she didn’t like about my blogging was the same thing that happens helps me so much. It’s kind of humorous.

    Shannon

    October 30, 2014

    Everything old is new again! COME ON negative commenters …. I contend that there is NOBODY out there that doesn’t cycle through the same thoughts and patterns. Mental gymnastics, of sorts, and we all have our star events. How often do you have the same or similar conversations with your girlfriends, mother, or husband? It is human nature to think and talk about ( or write about) whatever is on your mind. And, speaking from experience, we all have topics and subjects that emerge over and over again. I find comfort in revisiting familiar topics on this or any blog. It is a good reminder of important information and a reminder that in the end, bloggers are real people fighting the good fight. I say write what you are moved to write, Roni! And, truthfully, if a blog no longer suits your purpose, slip silently away. We’ve all done it. It’s not like you’ve paid a subscription fee. No cyber confrontation required.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Thank you!

      Jan Arleth

      October 31, 2014

      I decided to delete my comments to get rid of my name but my name is still posted. This is like the pink stain in the Cat in the Hat. I just keep making it worse. I told my spouse I shouldn’t be allowed to do anything on the Internet and she said “nobody can stop you!” She’s referring to my impulsiveness. I sent email to disqus.

      Jan Arleth

      October 31, 2014

      Just to be clear. I’m happy with the blog just mad about my boneheaded mistake in not recognizing my full name would be posted. I don’t want business associates to google my name and find personal information. Not the end of the world but makes me uncomfortable. Ok. I’ll stop worrying about this now.

      Jan Arleth

      October 31, 2014

      Funny. I wrote my comment to be supportive and this comment had already done that. And after noting how much I like the privacy of support through blogs, I outed myself to the world. This comment captures exactly what I wanted to say. How many times have I stood in my kitchen proclaiming I’ll never track my food again! Now I’m tracking again. Good thing my spouse doesn’t undermine me with negative comments.

      Shannon

      October 31, 2014

      It is just human nature- to battle whatever is “your battle” in a cyclical way. Sometimes we are winning and sometimes we are struggling. But, I totally get it, Roni, we all have things we want to be “over”. And, I’d say you are amazingly close to being really, and truly “over” the number on the scale. Or, more accurately, maybe you are truly over the number but it is the single minded way your doctor ( and the medical community as a whole) fixates solely on weight as a measure of fitness that pushes your buttons. Roni, you motivate me. And, we’ve all heard it before- but sometimes we need to fake it until we make it!
      Enjoy Halloween with your boys! My 5 and 7 year old sons want to trick or treat even though it is snowing here outside of Chicago!

      And, Jan, thanks for your thoughts! We’ve all said never again, only to arrive at “never” time and time again!

    Jan Arleth

    October 31, 2014

    It seems like writing these types of blogs is like sticking your bare neck out in a blaze of friendly/unfriendly fire. Almost unwinnable. Part of my educational background was in literary analysis. I notice every nuance in writing. Sometimes it drives me mad, all the writing mistakes I see – but I comment here in my home. Unless someone wrote something hateful, I don’t see a need to get snarky with a blogger.
    I just started reading this blog about a month ago. I have almost nothing in common with the writer except I have to worry about what I eat and how much I do, EVERY DAY. I’m grateful for all of the blogs like this. It’s free! It’s helpful. It’s private. I can look at my phone, any time in the day, and find tips, inspiration, supportive words and validation. This is one of the great innovations of the Internet. Let’s not spoil it by over analyzing one person’s super human attempt to deal with one of the most painful afflictions in modern society. I think there is an element of heroicism in your blog. And I think you have an even-handed, fair, smart approach to negative comments. People can certainly add to the discussion but please don’t attack the messenger.

    Jan Arleth

    October 31, 2014

    Oh. Gosh. Darn thing posted my full name. Shows my ignorance with online tools. I just wanted to support a anothe human being and outed myself. One day, if I ever feel the need to post again, I’ll figure out how to create a user name.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Hi Jan! I appreciate your comment! By the way, I think if you go to https://disqus.com and edit your profile you can change you name. i’d do it for you but I don’t have permission. :(

      Jan Arleth

      October 31, 2014

      That was really nice of you! After 20 minutes of maddening searching and help from my spouse, I changed my user name. I hope it updates for these comments! If not, I’m glad I have a commitment or practice of only saying nice things on the Internet. I’d be mortified if I wrote something mean and my full name was attached. Anyway, now I can join the conversation. Also, I tried PB2 based on your green bites recipe and I love it. I usually avoid that kind of thing but great tip! Thank you for creating this helpful space.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      You are so welcome and I’m glad you liked the PB2 — I always wonder how if folks try and like stuff based on my recommendations.

    Chris B.

    October 31, 2014

    Roni, I love how you are so conversational in your blog. Body image, coping skills, the scale, emotional eating, high intensity exercise, inspiration and motivation. These are the topics you post on every day. Even if you’re writing the blog for you, your blog gets my head in the right place for staying on track.

    Loved the year by year comparisons on how you coped with the difficult
    temptation of Halloween candy — it really encourages me on how I can
    change my relationship with food. I still say things like: “that cupcake was calling to me” and I still weigh myself everyday.

    My point is that each of us is in a different place on a similar path… and we are each moving at a different pace. Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way compares the journey of creativity with walking up a spiraling mountain path. How it seems you may be at the same place, but really you’re just looking out to the same valleys below, from a different angle as your spiral your ascent. I feel the weight loss journey, maintenance and get fit/stay fit journey is a similar experience of growth. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Thanks.. it’s really why I blog! Even though sometimes I can’t give the comments the attention they deserve.

    Ines

    October 31, 2014

    Who’s mind is not running in circles sometimes. I mean… we all know that, don’t we? We have these things where we are not happy with and we know it is all just in our heads. It is a mindset and it difficult to let go of old habits. It sometimes takes time to convince ourselves to do and think the “good” way. I find it relaxing to see that I am not the only one struggling with letting go of ideas… I think I would have a hard time following your blog if you were that “perfect” person never doubting…

    I find it really good to know that I am not alone in that struggle, even if we not always choose the same ways to deal with things. Well… and if you are over something you have to let it go… even if that means following another blog (or none). That all belongs to life…

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      OMG if I have that same “Talk” with the husband my head will explode. You are so right. And just look at folks who try to quite smoking? How many of them circle around and around?

    Andi

    October 31, 2014

    Hi Roni, Just wanted to show my support for you too, NOT that you need defending! I just can’t imagine myself being so forward as that follower was to post that not-nice comment. Every once in a while I creep out of the woodwork to chime in but only in a positive way. I love reading your blog! I’ve been a loyal follower ever since some of your first cooking videos on GLBs. You had me at cucumber water! HeeHee. I love your blogging style and daily honesty. I tend to also love your note-to-self’s because I always need a reminder to examine my own thought process! I’m currently not healthy, not eating healthily and I’m not exercising. But right now, I’m so proud that at the very least…I’m aware. And I simply wouldn’t be if it weren’t for you and your blog. You evole in a way that doesn’t exclude people from different stages of different journeys and that is why I can still read your blog. I don’t believe someone can outgrow a blog. I think their tastes can change and that’s something to keep to yourself. It seems that insulting commenter had already made up her mind to stop reading RW, so why the need to share their exit from your following and unsolicited non-constructive criticism?! In this world we live in so full of human negativity…its just nice to be nice damnit!!!

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      I agree.. nice is the way to go!

      And good of for you for doing what you can when you can!! Your comment made me immediately think #wycwyc :)

    Jenny

    October 31, 2014

    Hi Roni. I have been reading and enjoying your blog for years now, but this is the first time I’ve ever posted. I must admit I very much identify with what Cindy posted. I find your blog both inspiring and demoralizing. On the one hand you have achieved far more in terms of weight loss and fitness than I ever have, and I look to you as an inspiration and a source of hope that I too could achieve what you have. On the other hand, when I read about your constant struggles with food, body image and insecurity it makes me feel like “what’s the point in trying to lose weight if weight loss will become a constant obsession/burden in my life?” This is especially true when I read posts in which you have to keep reminding yourself of something like the need to find balance in your eating or where you say that “you’re over it” when you clearly are still very much in the middle of this struggle. While it seems you are undoubtedly happier with your fitter self, you also still obviously struggle on a nearly daily basis with food choices and body issues and general maintenance of your new lifestyle. From my perspective it seems that eating correctly and fitness has become an obsession that causes you mental anguish and sometimes appears borderline unhealthy. I’m not saying this to criticize or offend, so please don’t take it that way. I’m actually hoping you will say that it is quite the opposite and I’m getting the wrong impression from your posts. Otherwise, it makes me wonder if the prospect of achieving weight loss goals only to be burdened for life with the struggle and fear of not maintaining them is not all together less appealing than being overweight.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      I actually feel the LEAST obsessed I have in my entire life! Eating healthy is second nature, I don’t count calories, or point or carbs. I love working out, I love the energy I have. I feel fantastic. The only thing I’m truly struggling with is my body image. Which is the oldest deepest wound I have and one I think almost every woman struggles with. That’s what I’m trying “get over” the most and that’s what my post yesterday was about. I’m trying to “get over” feeling as though I have to lose weight or look a certain way when I’m clearly doing everything else right, or at the very least the way I want to.

      And I totally didn’t take your post the wrong way. :)

      I will say your comment intrigues me.. I would say everything I do, even if it seems like a burden from the outside, is totally more appealing than how I was living before. Sometimes it’s not about overweight/skinny. It’s about not letting the fact you are overweight effect your lifestyle. If it is than it’s always worth making positive changes and the older I get the more I can see the benefits of living the lifestyle I am.

      Jan Arleth

      October 31, 2014

      There is a fascinating discussion to be had in this post. I know that I blogged almost every day for about six or eight months on the WW site. People loved it. It was entertaining. But I got tired. I started to think of topics when I had been just spewing brilliant insights. I could be fun or thoughtful or whimsical. But every day stuff crept in. I did ordinary boring stuff. I was boring. I was not boring. Everyone gets boring. Everyone shifts moods. Suddenly a project Is s thing you’re over. Whatever. All of this space is temporary. Until we figure out how to act in cyberspace, be nice.

      Ayana Glaze

      November 1, 2014

      I find the genuiness in someone who has lost weight and become more fit and can still own the fact they they still struggle. Just because someone gets healthier doesn’t mean it will be all wonderful from that point on. I have read some blogs that say maintenance can be harder than losing. I get your statement about how some posts make you feel like “what’s the point”. But there is more truth..realness… in those posts than there are in the happy-go-lucky posts. Sure someone who loses weight is better for it and probably happier. But there is still a daily struggle. And that struggle is you lost it…now how you gonna keep it off? How are you gonna respond to people who say you are too skinny? Or the ones who say you’re not skinny enough? Or the ones who say they liked you better fat?

      I’d rather read a genuine weight loss blogger than a fake person’s anyday.

      just my 2 cents

    Karen

    October 31, 2014

    I completely and totally relate to almost everything you post no matter how often you say it. I struggle with the same feelings of knowing I should be over it and some days feeling really over it and proud of that….and some days not feeling over it but trying to get over it. But I have issues with food. I am a recovered Bulimic and post athlete. So I have the same conflict of my Bulimic self that wants to be skinny and my athlete self that wants to be bad ass. The battle that goes on in my head daily can be exhausting. And I always feel better when I read your blog because it usually hits along something I’ve been feeling. In face I have my own blog and am often in the middle of a post when I read yours and it’s a similar theme! I think you are awesome and there is nothing demoralizing about your words. You are real and express your vulnerabilities and insecurities. That , Roni, is brave. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Thank you for commenting! What’s your blog, I’d love to check it out!

      Karen

      October 31, 2014

      http://thefoodwar.blogspot.com/

      I don’t blog every day. More like when I need to process something good or bad! :)

      RoniNoone

      November 3, 2014

      Love it!

    Mary

    October 31, 2014

    Something said by a comment prompted me to comment. She seemed to be saying that because you still struggle in some ways that she feels discouraged, like, why bother to lose weight if I’m still going to struggle? I have news for you: you WILL always struggle in some ways and to some degree. Alcoholics talk about being tempted to drink decades after they have quit, but I don’t think anyone should say, Why do they bother quitting if they’r always going to want to drink? They quit for their lives. And when food is your drug of choice, you will always struggle — especially with the additional burden of society telling women they should be thin! thin! thin! — but it is SO worth the struggle. Having to talk to yourself daily about food and exercise doesn’t have to be an obsession, it can simply be part of your fuller life, part of who you are and what you have to be mindful about. Binge shoppers, gamblers, drug addicts…..we all have our thing. Roni’s honesty about how sometimes she sails through and other times she fights tooth and nail shouldn’t be disheartening. She’s being honest about life, which is sometimes a breeze and sometimes a challenge. I think some of the harder comments could be toned down a bit — feel free to question, sure, Roni encourages that — but no need to overlook her humanity and how she is willing to put it all out there for us. That’s brave, whether you disagree with what she writes or not.

    Lauren

    October 31, 2014

    I have followed your blog for years! You successfully lost your weight and now you’ve moved on!!! You are simply sharing what and where you are at this moment and boy, have you grown! Of course you are not going to be the same as you were. I simply agree…if the blog no longer works for you, move on…i am speaking about the reader here. Plus, most blogs I read have archives and they are there for the reader who wants to read or gain insight or for whatever they read the blog for just for the clicking of the mouse.
    I think what bothers me most is that negative , not so nice, and sometimes just mean comments hurt people and get attention which is why they are written. I believe the best solution is to ignore them totally or even delete them if possible.
    But one good thing comes out of them: you find you have an awesome following and are admired and loved by so many!!! and i mean that..you are awesome and are real and are human and have issues and feelings that we all share…..keep up the great blog! I also LOVE ‘watching’ your boys grow up …they are so cute and really growing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Thanks Lauren! I rarely, if ever, delete a comment. Geesh I really can’t even remember if I ever have. I have a few trolls I block after I engage with them and let them know they offer no value so I’m done interacting.

      That’s just how I deal with it and it works for me.

      As for this comment in particular, I wouldn’t have pointed it out if it didn’t spark me a great way to show why blogging really works and how slow the process really is. So I agree with you, negative comment general are useless but this one wasn’t as much negative as it was a great way for me to agree with her (because she was right I do blog about it a lot) and say, YES! I do that and here’s why, in hopes it helps someone else see the patterns as well.

      Thanks for chiming and you are right, I feel really blessed right now with all this support!

    Kitty

    October 31, 2014

    I liked this post a lot. I read the post about the doctor’s visit and I read the comments and I noted the comment from Cindy. I do think that some in these comments see her as much more negative and offensive than I do. She pointed out something she didn’t like in the blog, but I think she did it in a polite way.

    As a blogger myself, I totally think that you should write for the blog what you want to write. You may want to help others, but the blog is a tool for you as well. But, because of Cindy’s comment, and your response you have given information that is interesting. That is the whole “I am over it” is to an extent more aspirational than actual. I actually find that important to know.

    I found it hard to relate to “I am over it” because I am not over it and am not sure I really want to be over it (right now, with 13 pounds to go to get to my goal and still over fat I don’t need to be over it). But, I found it much easier to relate to this post about wanting to be over it and trying to shape your beliefs by how you posted. That is very valuable and helpful and I can understand that.

    So because of a thoughtful comment (which may have been negative but was still helpful), I think you ended up with a much fuller explanation of how you feel which I think is valuable to those of us reading along.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      I didn’t think her comment was especially negative either. I just thought it gave me a good opportunity to explain which would be applicable to more than just her. Plus my response was to way long winded to leave in the comments! lol

      I would add, you will never relate to 100% of what any blogger blogs about. It’s just not possible. I needed to write that post and this post and both are useful to different people for different reasons. That’s kind of the beauty of blogging. The blogger writes what they want and the reader can take what they want from it.

    Jo B

    October 31, 2014

    Hi Roni,
    I have read your blog for quite a few years now but rarely post comments. This post really sparked a reason to post a comment. I thoroughly disagree with the lady who inspired this blog entry! For what ever reason if she doesn’t like/is frustrated with the content of your blog then don’t bloody read it!!! Like you say it is your blog and it is a way that you help yourself and many other people who read it, me included :-). Keep blogging as you do and take comments like the lady’s with a pinch of salt, so to speak.
    Keep blogging and inspiring all who enjoy to read your posts :-)).

    Love Jo

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2014

      Thanks Jo! :)

    Val

    October 31, 2014

    The blog post, (this and the original), didn’t intrigue me as much as the comments. Why are people frustrated that you are struggling? Everyone struggles, even if they don’t talk about it. The majority of women in this country struggle with food issues of some sort wether they’re overweight, skinny, athletic, etc. You have no idea what goes on in their heads, or the privacy of their homes. These women that are discouraged by you being discouraged need to look inward and focus on their own journey. No two body struggle journey’s are alike. They are a mass of tangled webs that encompass thought processes from our entire lives, one building on the other. I have been on every end of the spectrum. I have been anorexic (2 serious bouts), overweight, and now fit. The only time in my past that I was in the middle was when I was on my way to one extreme or the other. I am stronger than I’ve been in a long time, and at a “normal” weight, in regular therapy, but I still struggle with my perception of my body. I believe I will struggle my entire life. But I will always work on it. And it in no way runs my life like it once did. And I am not ashamed of where I’ve been or where I am. I know more than ever that I am not “fit” to look a certain way, I am healthy and I climb mountains and my body allows me to do the things I love. I commend you for being open about all of this. For being honest. For sharing your ups and downs. No one has only ups. If your commenters are only losing weight because they believe there is some sort of utopia on the other side, they’re doing it wrong, and they will never get to their goals and maintain them until they accept who they are RIGHT NOW, because where ever you go, there you are.

    KHawk

    November 1, 2014

    I’ve followed you for years Roni… and I get certain readers get a little judgey and feel the need to point their perspective out. The beauty of blogging and all interactions (and it’s human nature)… but I can’t say I’ve ever read a post and thought those things.. I guess because I relate to you. I get it. So KEEP at it. I find it refreshing you are authentic and REAL. You post things I think.. not just what people want to hear and you wouldn’t please all anyway. And darn it… you feel what you feel. You own it. Much admiration for someone who can consistently do that. If that equals repetitive.. ok.

    PerfectImperfect

    November 5, 2014

    I get this. I find myself writing about the same topics again and again too — though these things are simple, they aren’t easy, and sometimes it takes a lot of reminders for them to start to sink in.

    Ann

    November 6, 2014

    I have to say I totally agree with the post you quoted. I have been reading for many years (before tummy tuck etc). Now it just seems like you’re constantly trying to “justify” yourself. Constantly trying to say you are “over it”. Someone who is, does not need to point this out all the time. I’m, unfortunately, just waiting for the blog post where you say you’ll bringing the scales back out as I’m afraid I think that day will come… Sorry!

      RoniNoone

      November 6, 2014

      Don’t apologize. You’re allowed to have an opinion!

      I guess the beauty of blogging is you’ll get to find out. :)

      That being said, thanks for inspiring my next post! Totally going to blog about why I’ll never go back to the scale!

      RoniNoone

      November 6, 2014

      Thanks again for the inspiration… http://ronisweigh.com/2014/11/why-my-scale-will-never-return.html :)

    100in6.com

    November 10, 2014

    I find that I blog about what I need as well. It helps me collect my thoughts and goals. It helps me stay on tract. If I need repetition in my weight loss journey, its possible my readers need it as well. Everyone falls and makes mistakes, and some times people need a reminder no matter how many times you hear it. I had a bad few weeks in my diet, and I posted 10 tips to get you back on track. I know I have read and seen these tips so many times, but even though I know them it doesn’t mean I follow them. Reminders aren’t repetition it’s a reminder to keep you on track @100in6

    Jennifer

    December 17, 2014

    I’m glad you blogged about your physical because I would have struggled with some of the same feelings. Keep up the honest blogs