One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

No One is a Lost Cause. NO ONE.

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I’m sure some have fallen through the cracks but I make my best effort to read each and every comment, email or social media mention I get.  I may not see it right away, it may take me a long time to respond, but if you sent something my way, chances are I’ve seen it. If I haven’t responded, I’m sorry, you may get an email from me a year later. It has happened.

The note I’m about to share was sent at the end of last week but I didn’t get a chance to see it until Monday — I’m trying REALLY hard to unplug a little on the weekends. Anyone with me on that?

Anyway, it brought a tear to my eye. I really wanted to share it with you so I asked the sender and she agreed. We both see the power in sharing our stories in hopes it will positively influence someone else. Here goes:

I just read your post about reaching the impossible and how you’re motivated to try new things.  It came at a good time for me and your words make me cry.  This week I tried a new weight class at a gym.

I’ve never done any weights.

I don’t go to the gym.

I can’t do push ups.

I was the weakest person in the room by far.  I was called out many times to adjust my position. I had no energy left to even lift myself off the mat when I was done.  I tried to hide that from the group. (I had no energy left in my arms to wash my hair once I was home). Everyone was friendly enough and we were all chatting about what a tough class that was when class was done.  That’s when I blurted out,

“I think I’m a lost cause.”

Everyone heard it and reacted to it immediately saying I shouldn’t talk like that.  It was a sentence so deep inside me that I didn’t even realize how awful it was until they played it back to me with the look in their eyes.  I came home and turned into a puddle of tears… for feeling weak…. for not being kind to myself.

I still feel embarrassed by how weak I was.  One thing I thought to myself to try and cheer up was “what would Roni say to me right now?”  And I could imagine you would say…. WAY TO GO … WAY TO PUT YOUR SHOES ON AND HEAD OUT THE FRONT DOOR AND TRY SOMETHING YOU’VE NEVER DONE….. WAY TO TRY!!!!

I’m trying so hard to listen to those words and let them sink in….. instead of that mean girl inside saying…. “you slowed the class down.  The instructor probably hopes you never come back and is probably wondering how a woman so young is so completely out of shape…. so pudgy… soft.”

My inner mean girl needs a hug or something, I know.

I just wanted to say thank you for always rooting on your readers just as much as they root you on.  We feel it.  We do.  Looking forward to your next post.

I don’t even know where to begin.

For starters, the fact that she knows me so well makes me smile. That’s exactly what I would have said! I am a firm believer in celebrating every victory, every small step, every minuscule act that brings you the slightest bit closer to your goal. Because the one thing I learned these past 10 years is: EVERYTHING COUNTS!

Everything.

Second, I can’t explain the feeling I get when someone tells me I’m in their head. Hey, if I help just one other person drown out their inner mean mean girl all this crazy blog stuff is totally worth it. The fact that I can do something that brings me so much joy and help someone else makes me feel like I won the lottery!

Third, I’m not sure what post the sender (I promised I would keep her anonymous) was referring to, but a few pop in my head while I read her note including:

Fourth, I bolded her words above because they really struck a chord with me.

“I think I’m a lost cause.”

No.

No. No. No. NO!

No one is a lost cause if they have the desire to change.

That’s all it takes, desire. If there is something you want to accomplish, something you want to experience, something you want to change in your life then start the process now. Nothing will happen overnight. You have to be in it for the long haul. You have to remind yourself over and over again that small steps can and will add up to big changes over time. I cannot stress that enough.

When I started this journey almost 10 years ago I could have never imagined I’d be where I am today, eating what I eat. Working out the way I work out. Training for my SECOND marathon. Working for myself. Writing a damn book!

All those things happened because I kept making SMALL changes. It started with food journaling, then walking, then trying new vegetables, then joining a gym, etc., etc., etc. I could seriously map out small change after small change. I didn’t just wake up one morning 70 pounds lighter with a desire to wake up at 5 a.m. and lift. I definitely didn’t just automatically enjoy healthy foods or have an urge to put spinach in my smoothies.

I took countless small steps over the course of the past 10 years, and I can tell you without a doubt all those small steps added up to some pretty massive changes in my life.

If you think you are a lost cause, I challenge you to make the smallest of changes today. Do something you never do. Nudge yourself out of your comfort just slightly.

Then do it again.

And again.

And again.

#wycwyc



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I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 13 comments so far.

    Vickie

    September 24, 2014

    I have seen/heard (newbie) women in many classes over the years with those same feelings. They assume everyone in the class started out fit, strong, thin. They think we were always the way we are on the day they see us. They think we started class knowing all the terms, positioning, routine.

    First, an instructor taking the time to teach/correct positioning is a GEM to be treasured.

    Second, we all had our first day and it was probably rough.

    Third, some of us started many, many, many pounds heavier than you see us.

    Fourth, not only my first day but my first several months, I could not do sit ups, I did lie downs (started in sitting position and lowered myself as slowly as I could holding on to my thighs, which is actually a great place to start). I modified and modified and modified with the help of very kind instructors who picked the daylights out of my positioning so I learned the right way and didn’t hurt myself.

    An instructor is always teaching to a variety of skill levels. Some people need more of a challenge, she needs to meet those needs. Other people might need to do every other one and catch a breath on the odd numbers. One person might need no weights, someone else needs 20 pounders. Someone marches carefully in place, another does very high knees at very fast pace.

    It is possible you are in the wrong class.

    But you might be in the class that is perfect for you if you leave your ego at the door and LEARN and grow.

    Julie

    September 24, 2014

    Way to go, both of you! I really enjoyed reading this. That inner mean girl needs to know who’s boss!

    Martha Glantz

    September 25, 2014

    Great post and to the woman who wrote “I’m a lost cause!” I too felt that way for years. Yo yo dieting and I’d about given up. Making small changes and I’ve totally changed my life – the way I eat, workout, and look. You can read it here:

    http://www.livestrong.com/blog/martha-g-used-livestrongs-myplate-lose-70-pounds/

    WYCWYC!!! It all counts and it all adds up.

    Cheryl

    September 25, 2014

    What a powerful discussion. I agree with the poster below, too. The people in class didn’t start out knowing all the moves and using big weights. They all started at the beginning too. I have been taking Body Pump since January. This past week was the FIRST time I was able to do the tricep dips off the bench. Literally the first time, and I have taken the class for months. And boy, did I celebrate it. Others in class probably do it and never think twice. But I know how hard I worked to get to that point.

    Also, be encouraged that your instructor helped you with form. And it is also not just for you, but for everyone to check that their form is correct. It is better to have an instructor help you to do it right than to deal with an injury.

    I hope you go back to the class and try it again!

    Chris

    September 25, 2014

    I’m assuming this woman took BodyPump at a gym. I’ve been doing Pump 3 days a week for like 10 years. A good instructor would never single out one person, but point out form in general by what she sees people doing wrong. Then possibly speak to the person after class if they’re still doing it incorrectly so they can avoid injury. Also, a good instructor will always, always tell the class how to modify. A bad instructor can sour someone from ever showing up to a class again.

    In a typical week I take 9 classes at my gym, and the way I look at it is I PAY the gym to be there, I’ll do what I can and strive to get better. I don’t really care what anyone else thinks. No one is a lost cause unless they’re no longer there to try their best!

    Sandra

    September 25, 2014

    I love this post! Roni – thanks for all of your encouragement to us! I have felt the same way and this year I finally took a huge leap and am now taking a zumba class! The first week was tough but now it feels great! Thanks for all of the encouragement to just try something new!

    Heidi

    September 25, 2014

    I absolutely love this post.
    To your reader: As an instructor of strength classes, I really hope you know most instructors WANT you to come back. You are exactly the reason I teach. I love when my newbie students come back for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc class. And especially when they become the regular class attendee!!
    Please, please go back. You don’t slow down the class. I promise, most instructors know exactly how to juggle this. It is part of our job.
    You are AWESOME!

    Meg

    September 25, 2014

    I have to respond as a fitness instructor. WE LOVE NEWBIES!!!!! (OK, most of us, I can’t speak for 100%.) Seeing someone who “doesn’t go to the gym” get the courage to attend, do their best, and KEEP COMING is awesome! I love love love it! & I try to mention how I, as the instructor, used to be a “hate sports” girl myself! (To this day, don’t throw something at me!) But I also try not to ramble, so I don’t mention it every time.

    Dawn

    September 26, 2014

    Great post roni :) I can’t wait to read your book :) you inspire and you comfort, that is such a wonderful combination :) as for the email it made me cry, I’m guessing so many of us can see ourselves in her. Sending you both a big hug :)

    Lola

    September 26, 2014

    What a beautiful email. :) This summer, I went ziplining fro the first time and white water rafting for the first time….and I was terrified and super self conscious of my size, but I did it. Its so hard to put yourself out there, but it feels so good to know you can. So many hugs to you both. Thanks to the emailer for sharing. :)

    Rashed

    September 28, 2014

    Hi Roni,

    Thanks for sharing the topic. It’s really touchy.

    Would like to share :

    http://weightlossdietsforwomenandmen.blogspot.com/

    Tiffany

    October 1, 2014

    Thank you so much for sharing that email!! To be honest, I often times find myself in that “lost cause” mindset – and not just for working out, but also for dieting and developing a healthier self-image. Which leads me to ask about if you’ve tried the 5:2 diet before? I’ve been asking around since I recently heard about it here http://www.viralbistro.com/52-diet-revolutionise-way-eat/ but I’m just looking for a way to supplement my attempts at maintaining my regular gym schedule. Looking for any and every solution to health weight loss if anyone has any suggestions! Thank you for providing this space for us Roni!

    Amy K Q

    October 13, 2014

    Roni, you are awesome.