One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

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First Things First, I’m a Realist

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OK, so I’m a big fan of Fancy by Iggy Azalea.  It’s a catchy tune.

(Wow, can I sound any older and out of touch?)

Anyway, the first line in the song is:

First thing’s first, I’m the realest

Which I always jokingly change to:

First Things First, I’m a Realist

And it cracks The Husband up!

I’m not as talented as Weird Al because if I was I’d write an entire parody with the 9-Year-Old who, cleverly sang, “I’m So Sandy” while at the beach this summer.

Wouldn’t that be cute?

Anyway, the real reason I’m popping in today is because of a conversation I had with one of the trainers at the gym. It went something like this:

Trainer: So, you ready for next week’s competition? 

Me: I guess.

Trainer: You’re going to win, right?

Me: Ummm, doubtful. I’ll just do my best. 

Trainer: So glad you’re optimistic. 

I’ve had similar conversations with a few other people and it’s got me thinking about self-confidence, optimism and our own expectations of ourselves.

Would I love to show up to that CrossFit competition confidently, kick ass, and take first?

Ummm yeah. That would be awesome. Winning is fun. Who doesn’t want to win?

But the truth is I’m a 38-year-old mom who spent most of her life thinking sports, or any athletic endeavor for that matter, wasn’t for her.

Of course, over the past 7 years I proved myself wrong over and over again and maybe I’ll do it again next weekend.

Maybe I will win.

But I’m a realist.

For starters, I’m on the old end of competitors. I’m pretty sure the age range is 18-39. And most of the older bucks, like me, have been athletes most of their lives, playing sports in high school and college.

Second, I know what  the qualifiers are for the division and I’m pushing it in some categories because I want to challenge myself. If I wanted to win confidently I would have competed at a lower level.

Third, I try hard not to compare myself to others, but I know where I fall in the realm of other females at my gym and in the area. I’m not lagging behind too far but I’m also not, by far, the fastest, strongest, most fit woman out there. I still have a lot to learn and experience.

Fourth, this is not my job. Training has become an awesome outlet for me but I’m not in it 100%. I do what I do because it’s fun, not because it’s my career. Maybe if I did focus 100% on training and eating right, I would be more confident in my abilities, but to be honest, being in 100% doesn’t appeal to me at the moment. It’s not my focus. I’m raising a family, writing a book, planning a conference and trying to maintain these blogs. One day, I may want to put more time and energy into REALLY training but right now, all I’ve got is an hour a day to de-stress at the gym.

Fifth, and this is the truth, I’d rather go in with modest expectations and surprise myself than go in thinking I own the place only to let myself down. So I subscribe to the “I’ll do my best” attitude, and if my best is good enough to win… AWESOME! If not, well, I did my best and where’s the shame in that?

Maybe I still have a lot to learn about confidence. Maybe some people will say I’m just making excuses for myself. Maybe I don’t have what it really takes (the drive?) to even be a competitive athlete.

But I’m OK with all that.

Winning would be awesome, but in all honesty, all I want to do is show up.

For some of us, that is winning.



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Discussion

There are 6 comments so far.

    Sara Liz

    September 13, 2014

    It’s a really superb information. Thanks for sharing..!!

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    Leigh Anne

    September 13, 2014

    In order to have what it takes to be a competitive athlete all you need to do is show up! :)

    DeborahSinger

    September 13, 2014

    The fact that you can be humble and realistic about it only means you will enjoy the victory so much more for not pinning all your hopes and dreams on it. :)

    Julie Orr

    September 14, 2014

    I’m with you on that Roni! I’ve had trainers who have asked me what my goals are. For me, it’s plenty just to stay fit, be strong, build bone density, work on my balance, etc. I don’t have to be competing with anyone, I guess I’m just competing against time.

    Moro

    September 14, 2014

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on configured.

    Regards
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    tracypow

    September 15, 2014

    I went to my first 5k in 2 years this past Saturday. I was terrified. I
    used to run 5 miles a day and now I am back at a high weight and have
    not run in over a year. To say the least I had every intention of
    walking the whole thing. I would be happy finishing in an hour. I got
    there and was at the starting line scared to death. My friends took off
    in front of me and I jogged happily along. It was hard, but I did it and
    amazingly finished at 41.30!!! Holy cow! I was under 45 minutes. I
    ran/jogged most of it and I had fun! I want to do it again! That is
    winning. Had I gone with the idea that fun and success is only if you
    win, then I would never get off the couch.