One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

INSIGHTS

Weekend Quote: The Stories You Tell Yourself

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I shared this quote on Facebook the other day and I can’t get it out of my mind:

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”
― Jordan Belfort

Because I’m currently telling myself another bull$hit story.

This week Carla and I submitted the manuscript of our book What You Can When You Can: 50 Ways to Reach your Healthy Living Goals — AKA #wycwyc

Last year I created #wycwyc to inspire people and help stop the all-or-nothing mentality so many of us struggle with. Whether your goal is to weight loss, to get more fit or just something you want to accomplish in life, I really think there is not only power in recognizing the little steps you take each day toward those goals but in the support you can receive (and give) online.

There is no doubt, I would NOT  have been as successful losing and maintaning my weight loss if I didn’t have this blog and the support I received because of it.

There is also no doubt that baby steps are what got me here. I didn’t start off 10 years ago running 3 miles a day, CrossFitting and eating kale salads for lunch. Nope, I started by simply keeping a food journal, watching portions and walking more.

Then I start to add in more vegetables.

Then I started to cook more and more at home.

Then I joined a gym.

Then I ran my first 5k.

And so on, and so forth.

These changes happened over YEARS!

If old Roni could meet new Roni she’d think I was insane. I mean really? Who works out 5 days a week and loves it? Who enjoys long runs on the weekends? Who likes to workout on vacations? Who really likes to eat kale and avocado instead of pizza and cheese fries?

That will never be me. That can’t be me. I’m the chubby, fast-food eating, lazy chick who likes to play video games and watch movies.

And there is bull$hit story No. 1 I told myself.

I convinced myself that an active life wasn’t for me. I was destined to be on the sidelines, watching others run on the beach, fly kites, dance, and go on adventures.

Even though I WANTED to do those things.

I was selling myself short. I believed the bull$hit stories until…

I started to prove myself wrong.

Now I’m telling myself another one.

My inner mean girl has been screaming in my head again:

Who do you think you are writing a book? You’re not a writer. #wycwyc is stupid. The publisher is going to hate it. No one cares what you think. No one is going to buy it. You’re doing all this work for what?  You think you actually have a chance at being successful? HA! Get over it. It’s never going to happen.

She’s also been on my case about marathon training and CrossFit progress but I’m not going to go there.

I may be getting better at ignoring my inner mean girl but the bull$hit stories are still there. I’ve just learned to close my eyes and mush on, toward my goals regardless.

The funny thing is I do fail. A lot. I miss the mark. I don’t accomplish what I set out to accomplish, BUT the experience, the lessons learned, the trying is what ends up making the difference.

Sometimes success isn’t actually in the goal achievement but in the attempt. It’s our ability to try and keep trying. There really is only one way to fail, and that’s to walk away from our goals completely.

What bull$hit story have you been telling yourself? This is NOT a rhetorical question. Unload in the comments because I can tell you from experience, once you face the bull$hit head on, it starts to lose it’s power over you.  

P.S. Sorry for all the “bull$hits,” but I really think this post warranted the cursing. Plus I’ve been feeling a bit sassy lately.

 



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Discussion

There are 31 comments so far.

    Jennifer

    August 1, 2014

    The bull$hit story I have been telling myself is that I don’t have time to finish the dummy for my children’s book because I have 2 young children who keep me busy (and wake me up at night.) …And really because I don’t think my work is worthy of publication.

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      Oh how I FEEL YOU! “Worth of publication” is exactly what my inner mean girl is tell me!

    Erin Alexander

    August 1, 2014

    Oh boy. I think I could go on and on. I tell myself that I can’t be a freelance graphic designer because I don’t have a big enough portfolio. I lack the confidence to branch out on my own. I tell myself I am working to build my blog readership and that I’m just not a good enough writer, no one wants to read what I have to say, but really I’m just not putting enough time. I tell myself that I’m not in enough time. I tell myself that I can eat dessert and still lose weight, which is true, but not when you eat dessert and sweets all day long.

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      Ohh you got me with the dessert one. I keep telling myself something similar. I finally called myself out on it!

    Laura Vancura

    August 1, 2014

    Wow. Great quote. Wrote it down and stuck it to my mirror right after I read it. I started doing PiYo two days ago (don’t have gyms around here/middle of nowhere) and that is exactly the story I was telling myself. I’m not a gymnast, I’m not in shape, who am I to think I can be able to do these moves EVEN at the modifyer level, let alone be as in shape as the people on the screen. Why do I even bother…. but I just have to make the choice one day at a time.

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      That’s how i feel about CrossFit. I LOVE it, but almost everyday I think: who do I think I am? I’m not an athlete, I’ll never be strong, etc.

      Just a mind game!

    Cindy

    August 1, 2014

    I tell myself that I don’t know how to stand up for myself even though I have no problem standing up for other people. I don’t think it is about me thinking I don’t deserve my way I think it is about if I’m the victim that got pushed around then nothing is my fault and I don’t have to take responsibility for the results. Ugh! Not attractive!

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      That’s pretty deep! Great self awareness!

    Denise Elliott

    August 1, 2014

    I tell myself that because I’ve been indulging in desserts on a regular basis and have regained 7 (hard fought) pounds that “it’s all over…I’m a complete failure, again”. This even though all but one (desserts are an occasional indulgence) of the HUGE lifestyle changes i’ve made in the last 18 months are still going strong; crazy!

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      Give yourself a break! Focus on the other good and then slowly pull back not he desserts. I go through this phase too.

    Wendy

    August 1, 2014

    I keep on telling myself that I can indulge in whatever I want because I deserve it. I tell myself that I will never lose this weight and that I am a failure,

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      Channel that indulgence into something else! How else can you “feed” yourself without food? This is lifelong struggle for me too.

    Meghan

    August 1, 2014

    I keep telling myself that I can maintain optimism and momentum despite the negative attitude of those around me…it’s possible that they may be part of my “weight.”

      RoniNoone

      August 1, 2014

      Choose friends wisely is a chapter in our book! It’s so hard when those around us sabotage!

    Tanya Barnett

    August 2, 2014

    I keep telling myself that this is the weight you always get back to “post hysterectomy” this is the weight my body is comfortable at. I always get within 12 lbs of my freaking goal and then I gain back 10 lbs. This is what I’m suppose to weigh. Roni, I have been saying this to myself since I started following you back in 06/07! I use to tell myself I’m not a runner, but I proved myself wrong! ;)

      RoniNoone

      August 4, 2014

      YAY on the running! I’m there with the weight thing too. Honestly, I’m trying to figure out if it’s a BS story I’m telling myself OR if I’m just over the 5-10 vanity pounds. I’m leaning towards the latter.

    Rebecca

    August 2, 2014

    My mind still thinks I’m the fat girl who men aren’t interested in. After years of missed opportunities, I’m now pretty good at shutting this negative story down. Notice I say “pretty good”. That self story is a tough one to shake.

      RoniNoone

      August 4, 2014

      Pretty good is a start! :)

    pattypetunia

    August 2, 2014

    I don’t. Did that in middle and high school and then kicked it out the door… bye Mr. and Ms. BS!

      RoniNoone

      August 4, 2014

      Good for you, Cheryl. You’ve always had it all figured it.

    Karen

    August 2, 2014

    Great post. I needed to read this.

    Megan

    August 3, 2014

    Finding this blog post is so aptly timed. I am learning that the biggest load of crap I’ve been telling myself for five years is, “I’m active, it’s okay if I eat like this.” I am now making the enourmous effort to learn what proper portions are.
    Thank you for calling me out on my bull$hit.

      RoniNoone

      August 4, 2014

      I am right there with you!!

    Keri

    August 3, 2014

    I have many at the moment. Who do I think I am starting a Bachelor’s Degree and trying to get into the field of Instructional Design? Who will hire a 40-year-old without a portfolio? Wanting this degree and career is selfish ambition. I’m too tired to exercise, pack my lunch, and exercise. I’m too tired. That’s the one that plays in my head about 100 times a day. I’m too tired.

      toughasnails

      August 3, 2014

      So how old will you be and how will you feel about yourself if you DON’T get your degree/do what you want to do? I just got a new job at 60. I get up at 4 to train for my triathlons and am doing my 120th one in a few weeks. you can do it..

      RoniNoone

      August 4, 2014

      Did you know I have a degree in Instructional Technology. I went to Bloomsburg University in PA. Great school!

      Education is never a selfish ambition! DO IT!

    SuzanneU

    August 3, 2014

    The bull$hit story in my head is about not putting myself and my health first. That inner mean girl keeps telling me that I don’t deserve putting myself first. Why bother working out and eating healthy. I am shutting her up today!!

      RoniNoone

      August 4, 2014

      Good for you!

    Bella

    August 4, 2014

    I’m writing a novel (#pretentious… and there is bullshit story #1) and even though I want to see what happens and I keep writing I also keep thinking “this is so common and pedestrian and stupid and when it isn’t it’s copying that other great book that you only wish you could be like” BS story #2. I have learned to tune out Radio KFKD, as Anne Lamott calls it, or at least write while it plays, but still it’s there.

    The other BS story I’ve started is “your pretty years are over, you wasted them with the wrong guy and you will be alone forever.” That makes it much easier to not try anything or reach out or be vulnerable in anyway.

    Although I am glad I recognize these as stories and can keep putting them back down every time I pick them up.

    Sarah

    August 4, 2014

    Thanks for this post! I will re-read and try to start over this week w/ me…mine is: “that (a race/cute outfit/etc.) is only for the fit and people who have it together”

    Emily M

    August 4, 2014

    I cannot wait for your book to come out. I look at my road and see obstacles in front of me as far as they eye can see. So my ‘start date to healthy’ gets pushed because today I just don’t feel like it. You have inspired me to realize that even if I say no to one donut or slice of pizza, I am doing something worthwhile for my health. thank you for your inspiration.