One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

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Bait and Switch, Diet Pills and My Bad Mood

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I don’t like to get all “ranty,” it’s just not my style, but I’ve had a few interactions over the last few days and, well, I’m in a mood.

As rants go, this is in no particular order. I’m just going to let stuff flow.

First, have you ever needed to say something? Like call someone out when you see something that you could have simply walk away from? Usually I let things go, to each their own I say, but for some reason when I saw this post on DietsInReview — 6 Booty Lifting Yoga Poses to Get a Kim Kardashian Butt — I just couldn’t hold it in. I wrote them with a simple, “Really??” 

I’ve talked about this before and I still feel really strongly about it. We need to stop comparing and promising specific body shapes and sizes if you just do X, Y and Z. First, I think it’s just bogus. There are some aspects of our bodies that are simply out of our control, and telling people that all they need to do is THIS to get SO-AND-SO’s BODY is a damaging marketing approach. It perpetrates our comparison culture and I find it damaging to women. In this case anyway, if it was “how to get The Rock’s biceps” it would be just as damaging to men.

Maybe I’m just becoming a bitter old woman.

Regardless, I happened to see a Facebook post by the author of the article (someone I happen to admire) and he shared a post about being happy with who you are.  I HAD to call him out on it as well. His article just seemed like a stark contrast to his philosophy about self-acceptance.

I had a similar discussion at BlogHer this year on my panel as well. I said there was no need to use shady marketing scams or make weight-loss promises when it comes to building our sites and brands. One woman disagreed with me and said sometimes you may have to use a lie or a promise to reel them in and then show them the “right” way.  I guess it’s like a bait and switch.

I guess that’s the idea behind throwing Kim Kardashian’s butt in the title of an article. Attract them and then give them the good info about yoga poses. I get it, I do, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or agree with it. Maybe I’m naive but if you write a great article on yoga there should be no need to piggy-back on Kim’s backside to sell it.

Moving on.

Next on my list is diet pills. Today I participated in a survey for WEGO Healthy Network. I THOUGHT it was going to be about weight loss myths and facts but it ended up to be marketing research for Qsymia, a newer diet pill approved by the FDA that contains the stimulant phentermine and another drug, topiramate.

I’m not going to lie. I took phentermine back in the day. I thought it was the answer to all my problems. It controlled my appetite. It made me jittery. I felt like I was on speed. I lost some weight.

HOWEVER, it taught me nothing about living a balanced life or controlling my cravings or finding my confidence or learning to maintain any loss it may have helped achieve.

It was a quick fix in a bottle that was prescribed to me by some hack doctor at a weight-loss clinic.

Needless to say I felt duped about the survey and it saddened me that they are looking for new ways to market this drug.

Adding insult to injury I got this email today:

Congratulations on Winning our Diet Direct Sample Pack!

If you join our partner program on {{LINK DELETED}}  you will be financially rewarded for each sale you refer, and as well as receiving great content ideas and perks.

What’s included in the sample pack? Well, Garcinia Cambogia, Green Coffee Bean, Raspberry Ketone, and other high-quality diet products of course!

I politely told them I wasn’t interested (frankly, I would never have entered a contest to win them so the whole thing is shady) and they replied saying they know it’s not a fit for my site but that I could still claim the prize.

NO THANKS.

Here’s the thing: There was a very small piece of me (inner mean girl) who said to take the samples. Maybe they do work. Maybe you can lose those few pesky pounds you are ignoring by not going on the scale. Maybe this is the edge you need.

NO NO NO NO.

I will never, ever take a pill for weight loss again. Ever. I said this when I first started this blog and I’ll say it again: If I can’t lose weight on my terms, doing (eating, taking) something I wouldn’t mind doing (eating, taking) for the rest of my life then so be it. I’d rather be fat than hop back into the yo-yo dieting rabbit hole. I’m SO done riding the body-image emotional roller coaster that prevented me from living life.

Boy, I really AM in a mood and I just don’t know why.  The torrential downfall isn’t helping either. I’d really like to go for my training run but it’s crazy out there!

I’ve also been battling myself in the food department lately. I just want to eat ALL THE TIME. I’m trying to make smart choices but by the end of the day I just want to eat and eat and eat and I’m NOT hungry. It’s weird.

Thankfully, The Husband’s stash is out of site because I’d could totally demolish a bag of Doritos right now. All I want is crunchy, mindless crap even though my fridge is full of leftover Indian-Inspired Chicken and Vegetable ChiliCheesy Zucchini Tomato Bake, cut-up fruit, yogurt and other great stuff. 

You know you really aren’t hungry when you don’t want the “good” stuff. This isn’t hunger. It’s stress or sadness or something else. I just haven’t put my finger on it yet.

I will.

In the meantime I’m not going to seek comfort in a bag of chips. I’m just not.

Rant over. Brain dump successful. I already feel a little better.

P.S. I’m NOT including a photo of Kim Kardashian (or any photo for that matter) or using her name in the title on purpose. Maybe more people would see this if I did but I don’t care.



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Discussion

There are 43 comments so far.

    KC

    August 12, 2014

    I always find it funny when I’m reading your blog, and agreeing with everything and on the sidebar of my page there’s some “banish belly fat picture”, or at the bottom there’s a link to a “skinny pill”.

      RoniNoone

      August 12, 2014

      Ugh. I know. I’m in the middle of a redesign and reducing my ads overall. I’m so over them and fighting the ad networks.

      Cindy

      August 13, 2014

      Roni, I have also wondered about the multiple diet ads and skinny pills on your site. How much control do you have with the ad networks? Or do you have any control at all? If just seems like after having the blog for almost 10 years these ads would be a non-issue/non-existent if you had any control over what gets advertised. I guess I just don’t know much about ad networks.

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      Well it all depends on the ad network. Frankly, I have more control than I take advantage of mostly because I’m busy doing other things and I put checking in on my ad networks to the bottom of my list. I also tend to experiment a lot with different networks because I get like 3 offers a day and it’s hard to evaluate them all. It’s really the part I like least about blogging which is why I’m happy I can start to reduce them. I finally have other opportunities for income like the book and the conference where I don’t have to be dependent on ad network as much.

    Janis

    August 12, 2014

    “One woman disagreed with me and said sometimes you may have to use a lie
    or a promise to reel them in and then show them the “right” way. I
    guess it’s like a bait and switch.”

    It’s also a load of crap. “B-b-b-but it’s not my fault I lie!” is what that translates to, and no one over the age of three should be saying it with a straight face.

      RoniNoone

      August 12, 2014

      I agree. I just think it’s possible to be honest, and transparent and still sell what you’re selling. If not then you shouldn’t be selling it.

      PerfectImperfect

      August 12, 2014

      If you seem to be offering something else to get people to take the bait, chances are they won’t want what you are really offering.

    Mindy Lee

    August 12, 2014

    I love it, great post!

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      Thanks!

    toughasnails

    August 12, 2014

    There is so much “out there” to get riled about…which is why I stay away from about 99% of it. Don’t let it get to you….just do what you want/need to and forget the rest.

    Liesl1000

    August 12, 2014

    While I don’t think skinny comes in a pill, prescription diet drugs can be helpful as part of a sensible program. A program which includes learning the right foods and portions, exercise, etc. Not all people who use them are looking for a quick fix. Weight watchers, Atkins, diet drugs, weightloss surgery, etc. There are many different options out there because what works for one person may not work for another. Don’t put it down just because it’s not a method you would use now. It could be very helpful to someone else and without “marketing” they would never hear of it. Who knows, maybe it will appear in one of your banner ads.

      RoniNoone

      August 12, 2014

      First, I said I would never use them. Just my opinion for myself. However, I do think “a sensible program” would work without them. I don’t doubt they help some but I also think a lot of people get to the point of wanting/using with the wrong intentions.

      Liesl1000

      August 12, 2014

      If a sensible program worked for everyone, then we’d all be skinny. And these ads wouldn’t tempt you to try them to lose the last few pesky pounds because on a sensible plan those pounds would be gone. And while yes you did say you wouldn’t take them, you have on the past and then proceeded to dismiss them because they were just a quick fix without teaching you the right way to eat. I went to a weight loss clinic and the pills were part of a balanced approach with nutritional counseling, recommended exercise and prescription weightloss medicine. I “learned” the right way to eat and exercise and the diet pills helped me get started. I lost 75 pounds and have kept it off 10 years. I’m not saying they are for everybody but don’t write them off as bad because some people are tempted to use them as a quick fix. Any program is bad if you use it a a quck fix. Even a sensible plan.

      RoniNoone

      August 12, 2014

      Thats’ awesome! And your experience. Just like WW was mine. TONS of people who failed at WW would say it didn’t work for them.

      I’m not sure what you mean by writing them off, because this is my blog where I talk about MY experiences. I can’t promote nor say pills worked for me because they didn’t.

      And if pills did work (just like your sensible program point) then we’d all just take them and miraculously be thin — while following said sensible plan.

      That same argument can be said about any plan where some find success and others don’t.

      I truly believe it comes down to being in the right state of mind and having the intention for long term changes. Once you are there, really there, I think any reputable plan or program will work.

      PerfectImperfect

      August 12, 2014

      Any pill that could actually work could also be dangerous. And I haven’t heard any reputable source say that any of the supplements marketed as diet aids are anything but a waste of money.

    PerfectImperfect

    August 12, 2014

    I agree with you. The DiR article was not at all useful — include a picture of KK but not pictures of the yoga poses you are supposedly promoting? It seems like plain and simple click bait thinly disguised as an actual workout article. Too bad, too, because I really do need to strengthen my glutes and I love yoga. I know that clicks are the currency but it seems cheap and undermines the credibility of what is normally a good site. Stay strong, Roni!

    tucking_fwit

    August 13, 2014

    Why the hell would anybody want a huge, big, fat butt like Kim Kardashian. I think it is embarrassingly ugly. Just call her Barge Ass or Mile Wide or Extra Heavy Load ahead. It’s one thing if that is your natural shape but to actually spend loads of money and have plastic surgery to look that gross. Yech

      RoniNoone

      August 13, 2014

      Move on my friend. You missed the point anyway.

      tucking-fwit

      August 16, 2014

      No actually I got your point but preferred the point I wanted to make. I read you sometimes because I’m bored not because I look up to you for advice.

      RoniNoone

      August 16, 2014

      I really don’t care why you read. Like I said, move on.

    Kim

    August 13, 2014

    You may not promote diet pills, weight loss gimmicks etc in your posts but they are all over your site in the adds and the sponsored content. And before you say you have no control over the ads that are posted, it’s your site and you take the money. So every time someone sees these on your site and clicks on the ad your are effectively “promoting” them.

      RoniNoone

      August 13, 2014

      I’ve never said I had no control and actually when I catch them I let the ad networks know. As I said to a previous commenter, I’m working on a redesign and limiting my ads overall.

    Imacrazymomof4

    August 13, 2014

    I live by the motto ‘if it sounds too good to be true it probably is’… When I see that sort of thing (crazy marketing) it doesn’t even phase me. I get more annoyed with people who drive like the passing lane is their own personal lane and clog up the interstate. I have places to be people and life to live!!! People will do whatever they want whether it’s good, bad, right, wrong, healthy or not….to each their own. I’ve never taken diet pills (above motto) and if I want a Dorito I eat it and move on. Life is too short to waste time listening to some inner mean girl…I woulda killed her by now.

      RoniNoone

      August 13, 2014

      I agree with you BUT I don’t want A Dorito, I want the bag, multiple bags. I just want to eat to eat and that’s not the same as enjoying a handful of chips because I wanted it and moving on.

      There is a difference.

      Michele

      August 16, 2014

      Oh yes, this is TOTALLY me!!! I don’t want a little of stuff like that, I want it all. There is no such thing as me eating one portion of chips, ice cream, etc. because if I even have a taste it will be gone. And the diet pill thing, well I hate to say that I’m sure I would take them if they didn’t have any side effects but I am super sensitive to just about everything, including herbs and “natural” products. I took something called Fat Blockers once a long time ago and I almost jumped out of my skin and couldn’t catch my breath. Never took then again! The only way for me is to eat right and exercise. I’m just tired of the gaining, losing, gaining, losing cycle of my emotional eating and I wish I could break it!

      Michele

      August 16, 2014

      Also wanted to add that WW worked for me ummm 3, 4, 5 times (I stopped counting)…but maintaining is the hardest part. I lost 30, gained 70, lost 70, gained 30, lost 30, gained 10 (where I am currently). It’s just a lifelong struggle for some people like me.

    Janine

    August 13, 2014

    Thanks! I read this today, and it was perfectly timed!!! Just what I am going through also…eating.constantly. Found myself searching quick fixes today even when I know it is not the way I want to lose these last pesky pounds!!! Thanks for being a solid voice in the crowd!!!

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      Thank you! It helps me to know what I wrote resonated with you. I don’t feel so alone. :)

    Heidi

    August 13, 2014

    And a post like this is why I ready every day. You are fantatastic.

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      Thanks so much! :)

    Natalie

    August 13, 2014

    Great post Roni especially about the diet pills. Recently went off Garcinia Cambogia because it was not working but even more so cause it was making me nuts to have to think to take it 45 minutes before I ate and then wonder did I really eat less or was I just tricking myself. Another excellent reminder that the tried and true of healthy eating and exercise is the only way to sustain health and weigh loss. As for me I recently began drinking am smoothies with kale – not a fave, but you know what with some fruit and almond milk its totally doable and an absolutely healthy way to begin my morning.

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      Good for you! i go through smoothie phases. I should bring them back!

    Maru

    August 13, 2014

    Good post .
    And.. You are not the only one who wants to eat and eat… I just said to me
    ” not today”, sometimes I succeded, and, when not, just follow your tip “move on”

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      I am MOVING ON! :)

    Caitlin

    August 13, 2014

    Good article and I agree with a lot of what you’re saying here. I stopped listening to Jillian Michaels’ podcast when she started hawking her diet pills.

      Karen

      August 13, 2014

      Yes! What is up with that?

    Tina

    August 13, 2014

    I enjoyed this post, Roni – post like these make it so easy to relate to you. Maybe you’re on a natural low this week? I believe we all go through natural lows now and then… maybe not enough sun or something small like that. I’m on a natural high this week. After being away on business for the last two months, it’s been nice to be back in my kitchen… making my healthy smoothies, eating fresh veggies, drinking my water. I feel such a difference after a full day of healthy choices. Off to check the latest on your green lite bites :)

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      Totally on a natural low. That’s a great way to put it.

    Sorel James

    August 13, 2014

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    Karen

    August 13, 2014

    I needed to read this post. I have been battling my self image issues lately. A few family members are doing the fasting diet and have lost a bunch of weight which totally triggers my inner mean girl and I’m full of jealousy (because I’ve been on this slow at times seemingly unmoving journey). But even worse I then start to feel the “Fu** it” feelings. Like if I can’t lose weight by eating chicken, and strawberries and more chicken and salad with only olive oil, then Fu** it. I might as well have the cheeseburger that I really want. But I know I don’t really want it. And I actually like how the strawberries and salad and chicken make me feel. AND I know even though I still have 15 pounds to lose (I have been at a standstill for a year now) that I am getting stronger and more fit. Why does that still not count as much as being skinny does?

    Anyway. I appreciate your rant. And your vulnerability and honesty within that rant. I didn’t even realize I was in need of support around this until you put it out there and I found myself nodding my head through your whole post.

    Stay true to you Roni. And thank you.

      RoniNoone

      August 14, 2014

      You are so welcome. Stay strong! :)

    Merin Graves

    August 15, 2014

    I was always curious about your opinion on phentermine. Glad you shared this. I used it for several months last year as a jump start to my weight loss after baby #2. I am 5’9″ and my WW goal weight that I had maintained previously was 150lbs, which for me is a range between size 4-6. Post baby high was 214 lbs. I lost 60 lbs while taking the phentermine at a half dose in the morning, but became frustrated with the jitteriness, sleeplessness, and general DEPENDENCE on the pills. I also was horrified at how weak I had become with my weight loss. Zero upper body strength. I would watch my weight drop but felt weak, especially when lugging a ginormous toddler around on my hip. I stopped taking phentermine, joined a modified cross fit class twice a week at 545am (that I wish was offered more than 2x a week!) and now i feel better than I have in years & am very happy with the changes I’ve seen physically (biceps! wow!), but my weight has gone the opposite direction that I wanted it to & I’m up 10lbs. There are 15-20 lbs left to lose at this point. Motivation? I have a whole wardrobe waiting for me that I miss. The remaining motivation is my own personal goal because 150 was a realistic, maintainable goal. I gotta be honest. I sure miss the way phentermine controlled my appetite and gave me energizer bunny energy but I don’t want the side effects. I know I’m capable of losing the weight on my own thru diet & exercise, but mercy. Now that I’m working out in the class twice a week and on my own maybe 1-2 more times a week, my appetite has skyrocketed. I still have my WW app on the iPhone to track points when I feel like I need to journal my food. I understand that my muscle mass is increasing since I’m working out and that affects weight. But I fight to not lose sight of how far I’ve come and I obsess about how much more I have to go.

    Meg

    August 15, 2014

    “Maybe more people would see this if I did but I don’t care.”
    & that’s what makes you an admirable person of high-moral standards.