One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Isn’t change the point of all this?

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I’m finally ready (and excited) to post about FitBloggin‘ but there are a few photos and videos I need to gather first. So it may take another day or two.

However, this post is completely inspired by my experience this past weekend and my subsequent burst of motivation since.

First things first, when I’m hosting FitBloggin’ I’m in constant motion so there’s no time for me to document what I’m eating or little things I want to share throughout the day. Honestly, that’s why I hire a photographer. The first year I was naive enough to bring my camera. Now I just leave it at home. When you are managing 250 people, attempting to keep everything on schedule and interacting as much as possible, there’s just no time.

Not even to eat! Which leads to my confession:

I’m the least healthiest when on site managing my own health conference!

Sad, right? It’s true though! I’m barely sleeping, I eat all day, on the run, and never “good-for-you” stuff.  We order pizza for the staff, sandwiches late at night, random drinks, cheese fries, and this year Jen thought it would be a good idea to bring those candy spearmint leaves. You know, the green gummy ones with crystallized sugar on the outside.

Oh, how I love those!

Which is why I never buy them. Ever.

Every time I found myself back at the registration desk, I had another one or two or six.

So basically I eat ALL day, yet I’m never satisfied. My stomach is constantly in that mild growling state but then I don’t know if I should eat because I just shoved 18 samples of trail mix in my pie hole and washed it down with some yummy smoothie concoction one of our sponsors was sharing.

By Sunday I felt like crap.

It was the first time in a long time I let my food choices just completely go and it was eye opening.

On the drive home we stopped for fast food and I ordered a salad.

Screen Shot 2014-07-02 at 11.07.45 AM

It was an easy decision.

The next day I waited until I was actually hungry before making a fun Apple and Walnut Yogurt Parfait for breakfast.

Apple and Walnut Yogurt Parfait

Click here for the recipe. 

For lunch, an entire bag of frozen broccoli and leftover pork loin tossed with a smidge of coconut oil, soy sauce and  red pepper flakes.

Screen Shot 2014-07-02 at 11.12.24 AM

I don’t have a picture of dinner but I made a big batch of sweet potato hash with ham and broccoli.

Yesterday was more of the same. I ate leftover sweet potatoes with egg for breakfast, had a soup and salad for lunch, and dinner, well, dinner was amazing! I topped my Turkey and Kale Taco Filling — click here for the recipe — with Mango Avocado Salsa!

Screen Shot 2014-07-02 at 11.17.11 AM

I cannot WAIT to share that recipe on GreenLiteBites!

My point in sharing all this may not be what you think. I’m proud of myself not only for the awesome food choices or taking an hour or two to stock the fridge with fresh foods or getting right back to my routine when I got home, but also for not getting on the scale, not starting my food journal back up and not FREAKING OUT!

I feel like I have finally, after almost 10 years at this, moved completely on from a diet mentality. Like completely. I know I’ve been flirting with it for some time, but there’s always been a hint of it here or there, lurking around providing just enough fuel for my inner mean girl to latch on to.

Taking the scale away from her was for sure the biggest step for me. I can honestly say I have no idea how much I weigh. I don’t want to know. (I have another post brewing about my body image, so keep an eye out!) I don’t need to know.

I also have no plans to return to food journaling. This probably warrants a whole post because I still am a big proponent of food journals but after 10 years, like the scale, it’s just time to move on. I’m graduating. I’m focusing on better not less. My goals are fitness focused not size or scale-centric.

This is a long time coming and I think I used to fear getting to this place for myriad reasons, but a smart woman recently told me:

 “Isn’t change the point of all this?”

Funny how being surrounded by amazing, inspirational, awesome people and eating really crappy food for a few days can put things in perspective for you.

Embrace Change and Adjust <– I wrote that 2 years ago. It’s funny how we have to keep reminding ourselves of these things.



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Discussion

There are 8 comments so far.

    Erin Petty

    July 2, 2014

    It also doesn’t help that your sponsorship coordinator was pregnant and eating all the bad things/bringing cupcakes back, etc. :)

      RoniNoone

      July 2, 2014

      oh yea. There was that too. lol

    Born2lbfat

    July 2, 2014

    So there’s $22 worth of praline and the like on my kitchen counter, well Nikki took a few home…we were total suckers at Savannah Sweets, but on the positive side there are $22 worth of pralines on my kitchen counter, not in my stomach. I have so many thoughts swirling in my head still trying to make a concise post. Thank you, Roni.

    Sandra

    July 3, 2014

    Where did you get that amazing looking salad at a fast food place? It looks really good!

      RoniNoone

      July 3, 2014

      That’s Wendy’s Asian. Really good!!

    Jen

    July 3, 2014

    It looks like it was a super successful weekend for you and everyone who was directly involved – congrats! I am no stranger to the time commitment of planning high volume events and their time-zapping not-a-minute-to-yourself nature. I do find it alarming that there seems to have been a rampant amount of poor food choices not only consumed but readily available. I get that you cannot control what sponsors bring in but you can control what you provide for yourself and your staff. It strikes me as counter-intuitive to the whole raison d’etre of your conference. Perhaps when planning for the next conference, you’ll need to head or assign a new committee dedicated to dietary needs when the conference is full swing.

    Paula

    July 5, 2014

    Go Roni!!!!! It must be wonderful to have a “normal” relationship with food. For myself, it was not until I put away the food scale & the Paula scale did I finally begin the process of eating like everyone who isn’t “dieting”. I read intuitive eating and I am working with a holistic dr who is helping me balance my hormones (still a work in progress) and I am finally feeling better! When I can stop the “tracking” and “counting” & not view good/bad on everything I know I will have arrived. Thanks for sharing this post. It gives me hope that I too can overcome my eating disorder (if this is even the correct term)

    Denise Elliott

    July 5, 2014

    Every year we host a Tech Conference at work for about 500 of our product developers and whenever I’ve been on the organizing committee it’s been a total crap fest as far as the food goes (pizza, chips, cookies, etc) so I can’t imagine having to do it every year. I somehow managed to have occasional indulgences while we were on our FitBloggin trip (a week for us – we started early in Raleigh) and kept my other meals as close to my usual eating routine as possible. I wish I could say that I remained serene and didn’t internally freak out about it each time I indulged, but I’m hoping that will come with time since the healthy lifestyle thing is still relatively new for me. Thanks for your hard work and for sharing your thought processes around eating, too!