One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Finding vs. Losing Yourself

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I had an interesting conversation the other day with a fellow mom who complimented me and asked how I “do it?”

“What motivates you? I always see you running and you look great,” she said.  “I just can’t seem to get it together.”

I felt a little uncomfortable. For as much as I like to spew my thoughts and opinions on the blog when someone compliments me in person, I feel awkward.

“Thank you.” I said.

Side note: I’ve been really trying to accept compliments instead of acting like this… (warning: video is uncensored and has some strong language.)

We continued to have a conversation and I told her I wasn’t always like this. That I spent most of my 20s pretty much unhappy and doing nothing.

“What changed?” ahe said.

I responded, “Honestly? I had kids. Becoming a mom really changed me. I just got tired of saying I was going to do all these things and actually starting doing them. It was like I woke up.”

She looked at me curiously and said, “I’m the opposite. Before I had kids I was active and now I do nothing.”

I didn’t know how to respond.

I totally get it. Having kids is hard and exhausting and so many people lose themselves when they become a parent. For me, the opposite happened and I’m not sure why. Having kids was my wake-up call. It changed my perspective from wanting to look a certain way to wanting to live a certain way. That made all the difference for me.

I don’t think having kids is the problem or the solution. I just think going through a big life change like that either helps you find yourself or, unfortunately, lose yourself. 

***

Here’s today’s food journal. Hope everyone had a great Friday!

What Why
Banana Ate in the car on the way to the gym at 5:30 this morning.
2 eggs scrambled with kale and ham I’m trying to make Friday egg day so the kids have more variety in their breakfasts. They split a small omelet!
Handful of pistachios (shelled) Stomach was rumbling but I had to wait for the husband for lunch.
Sashimi lunch special – tuna, salmon, 1/2 order California roll, salad, hot and sour soup and the Husband’s spring roll. I was super hungry!
 Handful of cinnamon triscuits I have to grab something so I’m not ravenous for dinner.
 Smokes turkey, cole slaw, a few fries, sausage link and corn bread  Can’t lie – we went out to dinner at a local BBQ place. I just didn’t have it in me to cook tonight.
 banana soft serve ALMOST had the Husbands Ben and Jerry’s made this instead.


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Discussion

There are 12 comments so far.

    Georgia Reed

    April 4, 2014

    this is a really good point… I had never thought of it as that way (losing yourself). I am definitely the opposite of you but I haven’t given up yet (and won’t). Two babies in three years is just exhausting… But this is something good to think about.

      RoniNoone

      April 5, 2014

      Don’t give up! You just need to find what works for you!

    Leigh Anne

    April 5, 2014

    I think it can also be related to time management. When you are active before children you had a schedule that you followed. A certain time of day you were active and a time you got groceries and a time you ate/prepped food. Then a baby comes along and your whole day gets thrown into disarray and it’s difficult to change your mindset from I no longer have time (the time you had before children) to figuring out a new time.

    You had the blessing of starting when children were already around. So for you, being active and cooking while having children is what you know best and is your normal.

      RoniNoone

      April 5, 2014

      Great point. I figured it all out after so I didn’t need to adjust like some.

    Leigh Anne

    April 5, 2014

    And when I say “you” in the first paragraph I really mean me :) “You” in the second paragraph refers to you :)

    Angela Sherman

    April 5, 2014

    Great post! I love that your perspective changed from wanting to look a certain way to wanting to live a certain way. I’m really enjoying your blog, glad I found your corner of the internet!

      RoniNoone

      April 5, 2014

      Thanks!

    Sonya

    April 5, 2014

    Maybe you could come up with some small piece advice for someone who asks you in person. After all, how is she any different from anyone who writes in with questions.? The experience you translate to well to our online can translate to real life face to face. What if you said to her, “When I got started, I changed one or two small things first. After I saw some success, that things could be different, I added a few more. Maybe that might work for you?” A small moment of encouragement could make all the difference to someone hurting and reaching out, making it less awkward and also, boosting your confidence in speaking one on one.

      RoniNoone

      April 5, 2014

      Oh that’s exactly what I did do. I’m just trying to feel more comfortable doing it in person. For some reason I feel on the spot. I need to get over it.

      Sonya

      April 7, 2014

      You really do have so much good information. Be confident in that.

      LG

      April 7, 2014

      I’m an introvert…writing is much easier because I can think out my response…

    Irene @ IZO Fitness

    April 5, 2014

    First off, that video is hilarious!

    Secondly, yes, having a kid is what changed me too. First it was just me wanting to lose weight to I could have energy to keep up with her. then I decided with all these piss poor “role models” in the world, maybe I could be hers, instead of her looking to some BS celebrity. So I decided I would become my version of Superwoman! LOL!