One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

It All Comes Down to Confidence

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Kicking off the week with my Kellogg Advisory Board meeting (all strong, established, professional women) and ending with the ALDI #inTheKitchen event (more amazing women all motivated, fit and driven).I have been surrounded by women all week which, living in a household of boys, has been refreshing.

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Funny enough, I was considered young at one event and felt old and irrelevant at the other.

Regardless, I’m coming home motivated and ready to get back to a routine.

In exactly 5 weeks I’ll be participating in my third CrossFit competition. Depending on how long you’ve been reading, you may have noticed I have really pulled back on running events (and even Tough Mudders). It’s not that I don’t like them or running anymore, things (me) have just changed.

As someone who didn’t discover the joy of fitness until well into her 30s (I consider myself an exercise immigrant), I knew I needed things like 5Ks to keep me going when I started. If I didn’t have an event to train for, well, I wasn’t motivated to run.

Fast-forward, geesh, 6 years?? I no longer need running events for motivation. I simply WANT to run. I enjoy running. Man, I miss running (darn leg injury!).

This year I signed up for the Rock ‘n’ Roll marathon in Vegas, not for the motivation but for the challenge and the social aspect (I’m going with friends).

Now CrossFit competitions are my motivating events but they represent something totally different to me than races.

I was very hesitant to sign up for my first scaled CrossFit competition much I like was for my first race. But unlike my first race where finishing was my only goal, I actually won my first CrossFit competition.

I’m not going to lie, it felt AMAZING.

I was never, ever competitive athletically. I won’t say I was picked last in high school gym class but damn I was in the bottom 5 every time. I’m not naturally fast or agile or strong. I didn’t grow up playing sports or even watching them. I just wasn’t active or talented in the world of athletics but being consistent with CrossFit  this past year (I go to the gym 5 days a week on average and first thing in the morning) I’ve gotten stronger, fitter and more confident.

My progress hasn’t been earth shatteringly fast — I mean it’s taken me a year to get double unders and I’m still not good at them — but it’s been progress all the same and I’m proud of it.

THAT’S why I compete. In a way I want to show off that progress. I want to stand side-by-side with the amazing athletes who compete in these events simply because I can.

And you know what? That makes my inner mean girl FURIOUS because she still doesn’t think I’m good enough. She loves to remind me that I’m older and less experienced than everyone else. She tries SO hard to make me feel out of place and out of my league. She so desperately wants me to give up, stop training and walk away because people like me aren’t winners.

Screw that. I’m excited and I’m kicking my training in high gear over the next few weeks because this is something I enjoy and want to do.

It all comes down to confidence: your body can do great things only if it believes it can accomplish them.
— Georges St-Pierre



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Discussion

There are 5 comments so far.

    Robyn

    March 7, 2014

    Love this! Yeah, my inner Mean Girl showed up last night and it was open mic night inside my head.

    But she quieted down today with some “Really?! Just watch me!” OHS. :)

    Chris B

    March 8, 2014

    Funny how at the same age you can be too old or too young at the same time. I’ve also noticed that the same number on the scale can make me happy or mad, depending on if I just lost weight to get there or I gained weight to get there. Age or the scale. They are just numbers, right!

    nancyabc

    March 8, 2014

    I need confidence and motivation–that is why I stop in here–and you always come through. This week I was rereading Put Your Big Girl Panties on and Deal With It–because I desperately need to get back on track. But I just can’t get myself to start walking again like I did last fall. Maybe I need to step into a gym and see how they could help me (haven’t been in a gym since high school) it couldn’t hurt and it just might help. I can’t wait for Spring to come because I think we are going straight from Winter to Summer.

    Lori

    March 8, 2014

    Good for you – you remind me a lot of myself in the way your fitness has evolved. I also started with 5K’s and when I started Crossfit 2.5 years ago, my focus changed. I’ve done 2 competitions so far, and this is my third time doing the “Open.” I’ll probably never be competitive with even the best of the best at my gym, let alone regionally, but I like to celebrate my own accomplishments, as it sounds like you do too. My first Open, I couldn’t do a pullup. My second Open, I couldn’t do chest-to-bar. Last night, I got 8 chest-to-bars (first time getting chest-to-bar) in my third Open. Sticking with something consistently and seeing progress feels awesome. Good with to you with your double unders and good luck on your next comp!

    I have to know which event you felt old at because you are not old nor do you come across that way! I seriously enjoyed getting to spend time with you and chat, i feel like I learned a ton… it’s amazing what actually sitting down for a real, in person chat can do though we spend so much time “talking” with each other in various ways online.

    Also, in terms of slow progress…I struggle with that a lot. Like seriously… I don’t know if I thought running 15 half marathons last year would make me feel fit, but I am constantly humbled by folks that should be “out of shape” but aren’t- women in their 60’s+, new moms, and people who just started running five seconds ago who can plank longer than me and run faster. It was something that really got me down when I tried to stick to a fitness class when other folks tried to encourage me “you’re so young, you can do a million pullups!” and I couldn’t even do one…then a grandma across the room was breaking the world record for an 80 year old woman who could do a zillion crunches… Humble pie is my favorite dessert. :)

    Anyhoo, super great to spend time together in person.