I’ve been blogging Sunday-Friday consistently for the past, geesh, 8 years?!?
Over the course of those 8 years I’ve blogged about whatever inspired me that day. Sometimes it was just a mundane post to share my food journal, sometimes my attempt at a “real” article, sometimes a photo journal of my day, and sometimes my deep thoughts on weight loss or confidence.
Truth be told, if I don’t blog at the end of the day I feel incomplete. It’s become ingrained in my daily routine. When I worked full time I would stay up late to share my thoughts on the blog. When I shifted to self-employment it felt odd to start posting midday, but I still posted. Daily.
Last night I started to write. I was going to share my post-Super Bowl food fiasco journal and how I’ve changed my MyFitnessPal set-up, but I let inner mean girl talk me out of it.
No one cares what you ate today or how you set up your stupid food journal.
Why do you continue to blog anyway? You’re not “skinny” anymore. The only reason why people used to read you was because you lost a ton of weight. What do you have to offer now?
Nothing. Just stop. No one cares.
You can think this is a call for attention from an insecure blogger but these truly are the things that go through my head.
There are times when I’m super confident and I blog with an I-Don’t-Care-What-Anyone-Thinks attitude. I do it for me. It’s fun. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and I feel motivated to do it.
Then there are times like last night when I question everything about myself and what it is I do.
I don’t know why I flip flop. I think it’s normal to question and doubt yourself everyone in a while. No?
This morning when I woke up I decided I would take a little time first thing to write about these feelings. I know from experience the easiest way to get over these funk thoughts is by getting them out of my head. That’s why the blog has been such a big part of my success, and not only weight loss success.
Allowing myself to feel whatever I’m feeling, facing it by sharing, and then moving on is my therapy.
It’s such a personal thing and I forget how it’s possibly affecting other people. Because for as much as I try to relate my story to you, I really write for me. I post about things I need to hear. I’m always either writing to my “old” self or me, now. Even when I’m answering questions I do it from a very self-centered way, sharing my experiences as it relates to the question. That’s why I’m a bit self-conscious about the blog, too. It’s always been about me and I know how egotistical that is. But it’s true. This blog was created to document my weight-loss journey and help me break out of the yo-yo dieting cycle I was in for far too long.
Just wanted to send you a quick note. I’ve been a reader for a long long time – back to ’06 I think? Been there with your journey and had my own journey as well, losing 25 lbs on WW with you, then adding in back when I had a baby in March 11 with you as well. I didn’t shake my baby weight off so easily, then added another in July 2013. So I’m finally starting to work on me again, back on WW and joined a gym. What I want to say is that you are fully in my head. Years of reading your blog can do that I guess …
Last week, I was tired after putting the girls to bed, didn’t want to go to the gym as it would be closing soon and I could only get in a short workout, but I heard your Do what you can when you can – and geared up and went there for a 30-minute workout. I left feeling great, and happy you were in my head.
Super Bowl Sunday – I caved in and ate a little more buffalo chicken dip (made with light stuff but still), I had a little more BLT’s than I should have (bites, licks, and tastes). I was mad at myself the next day, but my self talk changed from – its over, I messed up my diet so I can just binge eat and wait a week to maybe start back over again – to its one day, get back on it. And I swear it was you in my ear.
Last example: My husband and I signed up for a Color Run in Oct – something way out of my comfort zone, but reading about your journey made me know not to be afraid but to push myself to do it and I’m excited. Maybe one l’ll be ready for a Tough Mudder but baby steps
There are many more ways your are there for me – but those are just 3 little stories I had to share with you, so that you know how much of an impact you have. Keep blogging, taking pics, and share your journey as I would miss you if you went away.
Talk about timing. Now I’m crying again.
The fact that I can somehow help others also break out of the cycle I know all too well by sharing my life, blows my mind. The fact that I can and have inspired others with this blog feels like a happy accident. It was never my intention when I initially decided to start a little website to track my weight loss progress.
I hope you don’t mind this sappy brain dump. I know comparison is the devil but I look at some bloggers and wonder how they seem to know what to do. Their blogs are filled with amazing advice or they document their lives with ease. I consistently feel like I’m figuring things out as I go. I share what I need and hope it also has some relevance to you. Maybe that’s bad blogging practice? I don’t know. I just needed to get all that out of my head.
I also needed to say, thanks for always being there for me.