I hate the question:
How bad do you want it?
I find it condescending and it never, ever motivated me to do anything, especially lose weight.
“How bad I wanted it” almost seemed inversely related to what I wanted to do for it. Being preoccupied with skinny led to me eating more and moving less. Not the other way around.
How bad do you want it? is, for me at least, a mechanism of guilt, not a phrase to inspire.
Even to this day when I turn to food for comfort or eat something I think I shouldn’t have (yesterday’s chocolate chip cookie-gate comes to mind) I punish myself by thinking,
“Well, I must not want it bad enough.”
The guilt cycle continues.
It’s not healthy!
I’m a big believer in “framing” — at least that’s what I call changing the way we think about things.
For example, you can look at trying a new class at the gym as a scary, out-of-your-comfort-zone annoyance you just don’t want to do OR an out-of-your-comfort-zone fun, adventure that may be intimidating but worth a try.
When I lost the weight (9 years ago) it was the first time I framed it as a learning experience to get healthier and find balance instead of a short term, I-want-to-be-skinny-at-all-costs diet.
When I started going to the gym 7 years ago it was the first time I framed it as a reward for being healthy instead of a punishment for being fat.
For me, framing made ALL the difference and I don’t think it’s coincidence that once I started looking at things differently my new habits stuck.
So my question for you this week isn’t How Bad Do You Want it? because I’m going to guess you want it (whatever it is) pretty bad.
I’m going to frame my question differently:
Are you willing to give up _______ to reach your goal of _________.
It’s NOT a matter of wanting it bad enough. It’s a matter of evaluating our priorities and making guilt-free decisions.
Guilt. Free. Decisions.