One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

ASK RONI Q&A

Ask Roni: Starting Over and Keeping Weight-Loss Motivation

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Two days into the new year and I’m kicking butt! I’m a little worried about this snow we’re getting tonight and my #2014RunStreak…

Screen shot 2014-01-02 at 9.32.41 PM

..but I’ll make do.

Anyway, I answered a couple of questions on Facebook this week and I wanted to share them here.

Are you still doing these (Ask Roni’s)?!

So here’s my question – finding motivation, then momentum – and then KEEPING it – how do you? Need advice.

I’m in the pattern of ‘tomorrow I’m going to start the plan’ and I have a good breakfast…Sabotage starts around lunch. Incessant snacking takes over through the afternoon. By dinner I’m not hungry. But of course, eat anyway. And then I say, ‘tomorrow I’m going to be good’.

Just can’t maintain motivation longer than late night planning and morning coffee/veggie omelette!

Vicious cycle 

Longing for a ‘streak’ to gather some momentum.

Thanks for any feedback!

-Kathleen

Yes Kathleen I AM still doing them but I’ve been slacking! Here’s to a new year of trying to get ahead. 

That being said, on to your question which is a doozy!

I’ve been in that cycle a LOT and honestly, it STILL happens now and then.

One thing you need to understand is that motivation is not to be kept, it’s to be found. Actually, I’d argue it needs to be constantly searched for.

Sometimes I’m motivated simply by keeping a food journal. I love the challenge of making healthy food choices and entering them into MyFitnessPal. Other times I want nothing to do with it. I’ll enter breakfast then, like you, fall apart by lunch. When I feel that pattern emerging I look to something else to motivate me. Maybe it’s a running event or a new class at the gym. Maybe it’s an online challenge I join. Maybe I make up a new recipe with the kids or try a new food.

My point it you can’t sit around and hope to be motivated — you have to take an active role in it. You have to push yourself to try new things, whether it’s food or exercise or experiences. Don’t sit back feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t give yourself a guilt trip about it. Just actively seek out something fun you can latch on to for the time being and when it no longer serves you and you find yourself back in the pattern move on again.

If I had to share my one big secret this would probably be it. This is why I used to weigh in daily but now I don’t all. This is why I’ll food journal for stretches of time. This is why I start things like #wycwyc and #2014RunStreak. It’s all about finding my motivation and it’s a moving target.

Hope that helps, Kathleen! Anyone else want to share how they find their motivation?

 

I am on weight watchers and for the last 2 days I have been eating like a pig. How do I restart and get my head back in the game.

-Latisha

Hi Latisha,

Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. Now that it’s the new year I’m going to assume you got a shot of motivation and have already restarted. If not, my advice still applies.

First, let’s take the word “restart” out of your vocabulary. You have to stop the dieting cycle. There is no more “on diet” and “off diet” days. If you want to lose weight this is one of the first things you have to overcome.

Second, the desire to eat “like a pig” is something you are going to have to learn to deal with. If you are searching for that full feeling start making different food choices. If you are stress or emotionally eating, make more conscious decisions about what you turn to. Sometimes it’s not about fighting yourself, it’s about working with your cravings and desires and finding a balance.

Third, when you do “eat like a pig” regardless of what you choose or how “bad” it was you move on WITHOUT GUILT. You don’t feed (pun intended) the perfection mindset that says you already screwed up so you might as well keep eating. You STOP eating and make the best choice you can at your next meal.

Fourth, you CONSCIOUSLY put your head in the game. You wake up every day and remind yourself that you are in control of your life. Do you want to eat healthier? Move more? Weigh less? Then live a life that supports those goals. You don’t have to do it perfectly, you just have to do it. Day in. Day out.

Progress not perfection.

I hope that helps, Latisha. I’ve been where you are and I know it’s a hard cycle to break.

Any other advice you guys want to add? I’m sure many of you can relate as well.



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Discussion

There are 13 comments so far.

    Kitty

    January 3, 2014

    For me I find that I really need to think about what my motivation really is. There have been times in my life when I’ve said I was motivated to lose weight, but really I wasn’t that motivated to actually do it. I was more motivated by the great lunch or sitting around rather than doing something active or whatever. During those times I didn’t really have motivation to lose weight so it didn’t happen.

    On the other hand, if I’m really motivated to lose weight, then I find that for me I have to do the things that will advance those goals. For me, that would be to attend WW meetings and to record all my food in My Fitness Pal or to set how many steps I want to walk in a day and then to focus on those things.That is, if I’m motivated to lose weight I can’t just say that I’m motivated. I have to do the things that will act on that motivation.

      Shauna

      January 5, 2014

      I just wrote a blog post about this. Finding the “why” – my “why” changes daily. I have to figure out why I want the fitness/goal/athleticism. Until you figure out WHY you’re doing it, it’s really hard to stay motivated. Even when I DO know my “why” I have a tough time getting motivated. like this week when we are going to have single digit temps in ATLANTA OMG.

      Great post! Love ya, Roni!

    Gretchen Hill

    January 3, 2014

    Great tips for fat dieting. I gain wait for about 50pounds after holiday season, I do new years resolution and one of that is to get back in Shape. Before, two years ago I was obese and then I go for Liposuction Surgery, well thanks to PlacidWay who help me to find the Manipal Hospital. I was 18pounds then but now I am fat again. Thanks for sharing your journey, I will surely do some of your tips.

    LisaM

    January 3, 2014

    I must confess my motivation didn’t kick in until I realized how limited my work wardrobe is right now due to fit… Last year I was super determined not to gain over the holidays and didn’t, but then let my guard down and gained during January what I would have ordinarily gained anyway. So this year I decided to just face the fact that I would end up having to do some hard work, and didn’t try too hard to be mindful. Now I’m missing my normal healthy diet, and pants that don’t hurt. So, it’s off to the salt mines again for me. Getting back to my normal eating won’t be enough to do it, so I’ve got to really ramp up the exercise. I’m going to try switching from a couple long workouts a week to a short one every day to see what that does for me.

    Alice

    January 3, 2014

    Such an encouraging post. It’s so true–that perfectionist mindset can be so disastrous when you’re trying to eat better. If any of you also have the New Year’s resolution to save more money this year, we’ve got a solution that’s easy and effortless. We’re a shaving company called Dorco and our quality razors cost up to 70% less than leading brands. We think name brand razors are incredibly overpriced and don’t want to see you continue to get ripped off. But we don’t want you to have to sacrifice the quality of your shave either. Read what others think about our products and see our amazing prices for yourself at DorcoUSA.com. Thanks for hearing us out, and we wish you all the best in the new year with all of your goals and aspirations!

    More About Lasik

    January 3, 2014

    But what to do with laziness?

    Guest

    January 3, 2014

    actively seek out something fun you can latch on to for the time being and when it no longer serves you and you find yourself back in the pattern move on again
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#yMBcxX4S65tEtpjD.99

    Guest

    January 3, 2014

    actively seek out something fun you can latch on to for the time being and when it no longer serves you and you find yourself back in the pattern move on again
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#yMBcxX4S65tEtpjD.99
    actively seek out something fun you can latch on to for the time being and when it no longer serves you and you find yourself back in the pattern move on again
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#yMBcxX4S65tEtpjD.99
    actively seek out something fun you can latch on to for the time being and when it no longer serves you and you find yourself back in the pattern move on again
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#yMBcxX4S65tEtpjD.99
    “…actively seek out something fun you can latch onto… when it no longer serves… move on again.” This is an essential truth that I take away from your blog and have learned to incorporate in my life. For too long, I tried to do other things that I dislike, can’t stick with or were otherwise “not me.” Going with something that you can incorporate into your life and fits me makes a huge difference. You are right, Roni, motivation is personal and changes over time. If I want to really change my life, my weight… be in tune with me and learn to stand up for my goal. Great advice!

    Christy

    January 3, 2014

    “…actively seek out something fun you can latch onto… when it no longer serves… move on again.” This is an essential truth that I take away from your blog and have learned to incorporate in my life. For too long, I tried to do other things that I dislike, can’t stick with or were otherwise “not me.” Going with something that you can incorporate into your life and fits me makes a huge difference. You are right, Roni, motivation is personal and changes over time. If I want to really change my life, my weight… be in tune with me and learn to stand up for my goal. Great advice!

    Marina

    January 4, 2014

    Roni, i think the 4 tips you gave to Latisha are the best advice that one person looking for peace could recieve. I used to said those things to me, everyday, one year ago, and now i feel great because I dont feel guilty ( well not so much), I dont expect perfection, also i am making a much better food choices, and I see progress. I will be waiting for “ask Roni” episodes!

    nancyabc

    January 4, 2014

    I have to attend my WW meetings to keep going. I have not been eating well for the pass three months but I knew if I just kept going to the meetings I would finally have a change of heart and it has been getting better. Every time I stop going I gain it all back and more–I just can’t let that happen this time.
    I really need to work on—-moving on Without Guilt.

    Mflan

    January 10, 2014

    I love the statement you made about taking an active role to stay motivated. So true! Especially with change in seasons, different things are motivating at different times. Just because it’s not easy doesn’t mean you can’t do it!

    My
    point it you can’t sit around and hope to be motivated — you have to
    take an active role in it. You have to push yourself to try new things,
    whether it’s food or exercise or experiences.
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#Sh2YZzTqtJ7em3Pl.99
    My
    point it you can’t sit around and hope to be motivated — you have to
    take an active role in it. You have to push yourself to try new things,
    whether it’s food or exercise or experiences.
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#Sh2YZzTqtJ7em3Pl.99
    My
    point it you can’t sit around and hope to be motivated — you have to
    take an active role in it. You have to push yourself to try new things,
    whether it’s food or exercise or experiences.
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#Sh2YZzTqtJ7em3Pl.99
    My
    point it you can’t sit around and hope to be motivated — you have to
    take an active role in it. You have to push yourself to try new things,
    whether it’s food or exercise or experiences.
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#Sh2YZzTqtJ7em3Pl.99
    My
    point it you can’t sit around and hope to be motivated — you have to
    take an active role in it. You have to push yourself to try new things,
    whether it’s food or exercise or experiences.
    Read more at http://ronisweigh.com/2014/01/ask-roni-starting-over-and-keeping-weight-loss-motivation.html#Sh2YZzTqtJ7em3Pl.99

    Samwilsono2

    April 1, 2014

    Guys u must chkout this unusual tip to drop upto three Dress Sizes in less than a week www.girlyhacks.com/venusfactor