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10 Ways to Break Your New Year’s Resolution (If You Haven’t Already)

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It’s 21 days into the new year and I’m going to bet 2014 already feels like old hat — at least it does for me.

If you haven’t broken your new year’s resolutions yet, AWESOME! If you have, welcome to the club. I haven’t flossed in over a week!

I’m joking.

Ugh. OK, I can’t lie. I’m not. No Flossing for me even though I “resolved” to do it nightly.

Every year I have this overwhelming feeling of being “perfect” in the new year. I’m going to eat the perfect diet, exercise every day, go to bed early, wash my face every night, floss, read more, yell less, yada yada, yada.

Without fail a few of these “resolutions” fall the by the wayside within days BUT I keep at it. I keep trying and that is how I ultimately reach my goals.

If goal reaching is not something you are in to — I’m of course being sarcastic — then by all means, please follow this list of surefire ways to break your new year’s resolutions. That is if you haven’t already.

10. Be Unrealistic

When I keep my resolution and reach that goal everything will be perfect! I’m going to get THAT job, meet THAT person, buy THAT house. It’s going to be AWESOME!

9. Be completely preoccupied with it

Have you heard about my resolution? Look at this awesome book about my resolution! Sorry, I can’t go to dinner, it would break my resolution. Do you want to come with me tonight while I work on my resolution? Give me a second, I’m researching new ways to keep my resolution. 

8. Give Yourself Permission to Walk Away

Darn it! I ate/did/skipped that little thing I needed to do for my resolution. Crap. It’s over. It’s cool. Whatever.

7. Have a defeatist attitude

It’s SO hard to stay motivated for an entire YEAR. I’m only going to fail anyway so I might as well just give up now. 

6. Compare yourself

Ugh, so-and-so is doing so awesome on her resolutions. Look, she already lost/gained/accomplished _____. *eye roll* 

5. Keep Complaining

This is SOOOOO hard. Why am I even trying? You mean I have to do this forever? Why is it so easy for so-and-so? But I don’t want to do that or this or… whatever. This blows. 

4. Hate the Process and Focus only on Your Final Goal

This summer I’m going to be amazing because of my resolution! Ugh, do I HAVE to do that to reach my goal? Can’t I just do what I’ve been doing? I don’t like to try new things. I don’t want to change but when I get to that goal.. watch out! 

3. Don’t Ask for Help

I’m feeling really unmotivated today. Hmm, maybe I should ask so-and-so if she wants to take a walk. Naaah, I’ll just sit here and give myself a pity party. Reach out on social media? Pfft. No one cares. 

2. Don’t Make it a Priority

Who has time for resolutions? I have a family and job and I’m busy, darn it. 

1. Keep Thinking You are Going to be Perfect

I’m ROCKING this New Years resolution! Nothing can stop me! I’m PERFECT! What? You need me to work overtime? Who forgot to go to the store? What do you mean you have to stay late? I can’t miss my resolution class! Ahhhh!

Of course I’m trying to be funny — Did I succeed?

In all seriousness, do the complete opposite of this post and your New Year’s Resolutions may stand a chance.



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However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 6 comments so far.

    Melissa

    January 22, 2014

    Keep some floss at your desk…I don’t think the time that you floss will matter :)

    Adrianna

    January 22, 2014

    I LOVE flossing. Or should say loveD. Then a friend introduced me to brushpicks. They are the little plastic toothpicks with bristles on one end. Once I started using them (and I have them everywhere, my purse, my desk, etc), I haven’t flossed since. I was worried the first time at the dentist, but my hygienist said my teeth looked even better than usual. You might try them – they are a ton more convenient than flossing

    Patty

    January 22, 2014

    I am not going to comment on the flossing, I am just as guilty! I want to ask though why certain words in this post are highlighted and link to parade . com? Is it my computer? This shows on both my laptop and desktop. I know you don’t do this so I was wondering if it is just my computers or if someone changed it on you?

      RoniNoone

      January 22, 2014

      Thank you for letting me know! I found the culprit ad code. Please let me know if it happens again.

      Patty

      January 23, 2014

      Glad to help AND that it wasn’t my computers!

    Patricia

    January 23, 2014

    Now that I’m in the habit of flossing, I can’t go to bed without doing it. My mouth just feels… not completely clean without the full brush, floss, rinse and makes it harder to fall asleep. (It also reduces the frequency of smelly breath!)

    I didn’t make a resolution for the New Year, but only for January. This month I’m quitting all sub-par chocolate (due to my snacking out of the Chipits bag) and allowing exceptions for a special cupcake or high quality truffle when it crosses my path. That hasn’t happened yet (sadly). I’ve only slipped up once and I could taste that it wasn’t satisfying. I’m considering carrying this into February since it’s been going well.

    But…. I may want to get a box of expensive chocolates and enjoy breaking some resolutions for Valentine’s ;)