Looking through photos from this year to make Christmas gifts and this one from April stopped me in my tracks. I rarely get candid photos taken of myself because I’m always the one behind the camera.
I still struggle with body image demons, but honestly I can’t believe how fit and happy I look here. I don’t think I will ever truly see myself the way others do. As long as I can remember, I’ve just associated myself with “fat” because I wasn’t “skinny” in the way our media generally portrays it.
That’s why I’ve been working hard at disconnecting from my body — in a positive way. Truly accepting that it is what it is, a product of my lifestyle.
It’s hard, scary and freeing all at the same time.
I used to do things all in the name of skinny. Now I do them because they make me feel good. Being fit is fun. Being skinny and still hating yourself isn’t.