One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

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Wednesday Weigh In: Feeling Like Poo

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I don’t know how else to start this post except to say I’ve been feeling like poo.

Yes, poo.

This is when I’m glad I  do blog because if I didn’t it would be awfully easy to just continue down a path of self loathing, eating my way through my depressed feelings and gaining tons of weight in the process.

But I DO blog, so here I am facing all the crappy feelings before it gets out of hand.

And that’s why I think there’s power in the Weekly Weigh In idea even if you don’t share numbers, which I will not be doing because my scale is MIA on purpose.

20130529_weighin

Even though I had a rough week I still feel like losing the scale is the right decision for me. Given my current state of mind I think any number would just be depressing and I don’t know why.

I just haven’t been myself lately. I’ve been trying, having bursts of energy here and there but overall I’ve been blah. Battling some neck stiffness, a cracked tooth, and a persistent sore throat.

Oh and I’m also perimenopausal. Did I tell you? YAY, fabulous. I had a nice discussion with my doctor a couple of weeks ago and she shed some light on my symptoms.

According to thePerimenopauseBlog.com there are 35 Symptoms of Perimenopause

  1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
  2. Irregular heart beat
  3. Irritability
  4. Mood swings, sudden tears
  5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
  6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
  7. Loss of libido
  8. Dry vagina
  9. Crashing fatigue
  10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
  11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
  12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
  13. Disturbing memory lapses
  14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
  15. Itchy, crawly skin
  16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
  17. Increased tension in muscles
  18. Breast tenderness
  19. Headache change: increase or decrease
  20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
  21. Sudden bouts of bloat
  22. Depression
  23. Exacerbation of existing conditions
  24. Increase in allergies
  25. Weight gain
  26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
  27. Dizziness, vertigo, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
  28. Changes in body odor
  29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
  30. Tingling in the extremities
  31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
  32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
  33. Osteoporosis (after several years)
  34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
  35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, ‘whooshing,’ buzzing etc.

And I have 23 of them. TWENTY THREE!

This is the only time you will “hear” me say this:

I’m too young for this crap! 

That’s right. TOO YOUNG.

According to my doc the average age is 55.

I’m 37.

However the No. 1 predictor of when this will happen to you is genetics, and Mom went through menopause before 40 as well.

So…. FUN! Right?

Ugh.

Yesterday I found myself standing at the pantry dipping a Hershey bar from the 8-year-old’s Halloween bag into a jar of peanut butter. 

Umm yeah, that was “old Roni’s” way of dealing.

I’m sorry I highjacked today’s weekly weigh in with my whining but I needed to get out of my head so I can move on.

That’s how “new Roni” deals.

How was your week? Cheer me up with all your wonderful news and losses. Please! 

 



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Discussion

There are 50 comments so far.

    Martha Glantz

    November 6, 2013

    I hear you! I didn’t really have perimenopouse, but did go through lots of the menopause symptoms. Not that bad and at the end of it? No more period, which to me was a blessing.
    Really good week here! Gorgeous weather this weekend so lots of outside time enjoying the fall and the beautiful colors. Dinner in the city on Sunday at a tremendous tapas restaurant with good friends. At and drank more than usual, but it was soooooooooo worth it! Still down 1.4 pounds since last Weds and now 7 months at maintenance.

    Have started running on the treadmill in spurts and on Monday did my mile in under 15 minutes and that includes 4 mins of warm up. Yay me! Sort of thinking of doing a 5K – you inspire me!!

    Roni, this too will pass. You have so much positive in your life and you have really incorporated healthy living in your life. Maybe try some meditation each day to calm your inner self.

    nancyabc

    November 6, 2013

    Sorry for the news–it does hit most of us hard.
    At least you are ahead of the pack–your healthy eating (most of the time–LOL) and how you move your body will make a big difference how this change in life affects you.
    Candy has been a focus of my days since Saturday–ugh!
    I could see light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel grew a bit last week.
    My left leg is having trouble and that means trouble for me–back in my unaboot and I have to spend at least 12 hrs. in bed with leg up until it is better and no walking–ugh! But this to shall pass and if I stop eating that darn candy the weight will come down.
    I really need to get a hold of this situation so I can survive the coming holidays!

    Monica Brixey

    November 6, 2013

    You may have just convinced me to talk to my doctor. I’ve been feeling really off lately and have TONS of those symptoms. I kept thinking I feel like I’m early menopause, but didn’t even consider it because I’m only 36. Hmmm. Anyway, I hope you start feeling better very soon!!

    Brenda

    November 6, 2013

    I feel your pain, at 36 it appears I am in perimenopause as well according to my Dr. She had me read a great book called the Hormone Cure by Dr. Sara Gotfried.

    As far as this week I am in a funk still no weight loss and just feeling blah!!!
    Don’t know what to do or change but I figure if I can at least maintain it should be ok.

    Jodi

    November 6, 2013

    I didn’t count how many of these symptoms I have, but quite a few (and I’m 42). Not a good thing when you wanted to have another baby. :(

    Lynne piil

    November 6, 2013

    Hey Roni, I have battled many of the perimenopausal symptoms, and even went to emerg one night for fear I have having a stroke as I felt lightheaded, tingly limbs, heart palpitations and anxiety. What I am struggling with right now is pms — you see, when there are many months between periods, I am feeling like I’m pmsing for that long — craving sweets, etc., and have gained some unwanted weight back — blah – so good for you for recognizing what’s going on and dealing with it. I am taking a few natural rememdies that seem to help me — one is Maca root — google it — a peruvian root vegetable that is great for naturally balancing your hormones. It tastes horrible but seems to help. Evening primrose oil is another one that I take daily. I am in a bit of a funk right now to, Roni, and glad to hear I”m not the only one, but we’ll get through it, I know we will. There are lots of natural remedies for perimenopause — don’t panic — well get through it .

    Lynne in TO

    Lisa Eirene

    November 6, 2013

    I feel your pain. I have something hormonal going on and I’ve wondered a few times if I’m going through this early too. :(

    We all have those weeks/times, stay strong Roni :D

    Cindy Corliss

    November 6, 2013

    I’m (just) 38 and I have 23 too. Horray? I can’t ask my mom when she went through menopause b/c she passed away a few years ago. Oh the things you don’t think to ask. :(

    Tammy Cole

    November 6, 2013

    Roni, I have 27 of these symptoms and I’m 45. My mom went through it at age 45, so I’m on the cusp, and NOT HAPPY because it has become physically, emotionally, and mentally harder for me to maintain a healthy lifestyle while I’m feeling this way. You are not alone!

    Laurie J

    November 6, 2013

    I am 48, but started a lot of these symptoms slowly over the past 10 years. Keep up your exercising and your good eating, it really does help! I also started taking some Estroven. That does help too! I am down 5 pounds this week…but it has something to do with having the stomach flu. Yes, I feel like poo too! I can so relate! I also am dealing with the fact that my oldest has accepted a job this coming spring all the way in Maryland thousands of miles away from his Mama. I am just going to have to deal with this. I do hear this is a nice place to live?!? This coming week is going to be so much better!!! Buck up buck-a-roo!! :) Let’s feel better together! <3

    Marina

    November 6, 2013

    I think your post is great … It is a reminder, to me, that everybody has those moments (maybe weeks), when you feel just bad, and you put all the problems in the same bag… Thanks for your honesty. I wish I could have the ability to put in words, like you do, your feelings.

    Calyn

    November 6, 2013

    Crap, I have 21… I knew my hormones were out of whack! But my mom didn’t go through the change until much later in life… Off to make an appointment with my doc!

    Susan Ito

    November 6, 2013

    I feel like poo too! I walked one block yesterday and it put me back on the ice packs and painkillers. Of course it’s a totally different kind of poo, but I hear ya. Sometimes our bodies don’t do what they want them to. Like stay out of menopause until we’re darn well ready. Can I say I’m 54+ and I’m still getting my damn period and I’m SICK OF IT!?!? It would be so nice if our bodies would just cooperate and stop hurting and giving us dozens of stupid perimenopausal symptoms and the like. Right? Anyway, I’m with you in the poo-fest today. oxoxo

    Dukebdc

    November 6, 2013

    Well crap, I have a lot of those symptoms too and am only 35. I haven’t even had kids yet – yikes!!!

    I am 2.2 pounds down from last week, and a whopping 5 pounds down from what I weighed Saturday morning after Chinese food the night before. I had NO idea sodium/MSG affected me that much! I am now 2.5 pounds from the mini-goal of getting under 130 again, and 6.4 pounds from the top of my maintenance range.

    Hope you’re feeling better soon Roni!

    Arlene Hittle

    November 6, 2013

    I just turned 42 & I’ve been wondering if I’m perimenopausal for a while now. According to that list … yep. Joy.

    Kimberly Anne

    November 6, 2013

    Ugggh I can only imagine.. I didn’t know that there were so many symptoms!

    In weight loss news, my husband wants to start a fitness challenge (for the first time EVER he is interested in fitness). For every lb I lose, he wants to gain in muscle. We will see how this goes. The motivation is for us to look fab on our upcoming vaca in December to Jamaica.

    Kim Babcock

    November 6, 2013

    As I read down the symptoms, I realized that A. No, I am not dying. B. Yep, I’m that age! But I really am that age. It’s just awful.

    Wendy Del Monte

    November 6, 2013

    aww- Roni. I’m sorry. And at 43, I’m having a bunch of these symptoms. I want to scarf a hershey bar with peanut butter, too.

    dawn

    November 6, 2013

    Dear Roni,
    My mom went through menopause at 38, and at 36 I found myself with so many of the above symptoms. For years. I found relief from women.women.com, which gives vitamins and herbs once per month. Very good place. Also gave up gluten dairy and sugar–they affect mood so much!
    I know, I know, but I swear it helps!!!

    Jenny O.

    November 6, 2013

    Apologies if this has already been mentioned (and sorry, I’m sure you’ll get lots of advice but this is really good. Seriously. :) ) I am 37, same issues, same diagnosis. But at the encouragement of another doc, I also had a full blood panel done and found that I am b12 and Vit D deficient and probably have been working my way into the deficiency for years. After a month of shots, I felt like a new person. It’s not a cure for the premenopause stuff, but it’s an additional factor to look into that might be enhancing the “poo” feeling. My doc said it was especially common in premenopausal women. Even if you discover a slight deficiency, some supplements could be a big lift for you. (disclaimer – I was not a huge “supplement” person before, but now I am a big believer. Sometimes your body just doesn’t make or retain what it needs.) Hope that is somewhat helpful.

    Patricia

    November 6, 2013

    29 this Friday and I experience many of those. I’m thinking that its likely me being a hypochondriac, though I have talked to the dr about my symptoms and testing never finds anything.

    Jon

    November 6, 2013

    I think the easiest thing to do is try to label something. I would say just to focus on what you can impact positively in your life. Create value to get value in return. Much luck! :)

    http//:www.workoutprogramsformen.org

    I have to say that I just turned 47 and I am still feeling pretty good. My dr is big on Vitamin D and I take it weekly. I just started taking a multi vitamin too that my doctor also suggested. She wrote specific vitamins for me to look for when choosing one. Not all multi vitamins are alike.. Hang in there Roni! You are an inspiration to many!!!

    jeana

    November 6, 2013

    I can soooo sympathize with you…it’s like an out-of-body experience every day! I don’t even know who I am anymore…my weightloss has completely stalled..because iam freakin hungry all day long! my mom and sister both put on about 20 pounds during this party. yesterday, I put a carton of ice cream in the fridge,,,,and flipped off an old man who may or may not have tried to cut me off! as for the ice cream in the fridge, you guessed it, I DRANK it.

    Shannon

    November 6, 2013

    Sorry you feel like poo. I have an idea that might brighten you up … I have absolutely no affiliation with this person/site/challenge, but I finished my “Day 1” just a minute ago and I feel HAPPY. Really energized. It’s totally free, too. :) http://www.doyouyoga.com/challenge/

    Lynn

    November 6, 2013

    Oh Roni
    I love your honesty on your posts!

    Andrea@WellnessNotes

    November 6, 2013

    Sorry you haven’t been feeling well. I’m a bit older than you, but I’ve been experiencing many of the symptoms on this list for several years now… It’s not fun. I stopped drinking coffee in January and it helped quite a bit with several of the symptoms.
    I like the way the new Roni deals! :)

    Martha Glantz

    November 6, 2013

    This should make you feel better: I’m 63 and think I look pretty good for my age…..well on the subway tonight a young woman offered me her seat! Sheesh!

    Sammy @ Peace Love & Ice Cream

    November 6, 2013

    A hershey dipped in PB sounds delish!! It doesn’t happen all the time…and it was Halloween! Honesty is the best policy – great post :)
    -Sammy @ peaceandloveandicecream.com

    jennifer p

    November 7, 2013

    i have 25 of those symptoms,im 41 i thought i was too young for it too.it started around your age.im not even sure that its that it may be my thyroid,i have thyroid issues.youre not alone alot of us feel your pain.sometimes its just so much fun to be a woman isnt it.

    Svanhvit

    November 7, 2013

    Oh my goodness! I wonder if that is a part of my problem as well. I am your age and a good chunk of those symptoms ring a bell. Also, I know my mom was really early in menopause, around 38, and that was with having had a child with 37!! I had my last kiddo when I was 30 so I wonder…. definately something to take up with my gyn on my next appointment!

    Karen

    November 7, 2013

    Welcome to the crowd! I have just as many symptoms as you if not maybe a few more. I am 40 and it hit me hard about 9 months ago. We can all hang in there together and hopefully get through eventually.
    Smile it could be worse:)

    Ash

    November 7, 2013

    I weighed myself at the gym yesterday and I was the exact same weight as last week and frankly I’m happy about it. It’s been a food fest at work this week and last with all the Halloween candy and different parties for coworkers.
    I did okay, not great, on the eating front, but I’m not feeling guilty. I’ve been going to the gym consistently – everyday this week actually – and I feel great.
    I also bought a guitar. I’ve always wanted to learn to play, but I was afraid and intimidated. So I took a cue from my favorite blog (hint: it’s this one) and just jumped in. It’s great! It’s difficult and unfamiliar but a lot of fun. It also gives me something to focus and keeps me from nibbling at night.
    Perimenopause sucks! Hang in there. You’ve probably been through worse :)

    Imacrazymomof4

    November 7, 2013

    I think half those symptoms come from having kids! I can’t remember squat and I’m tired lol. Those symptoms could be symptoms of stress and not eating enough of certain vitamins. I’m not saying you aren’t peri menopausal, I’m just saying there are a lot of factors/symptoms to consider. I feel like some doctors are more than eager to put a label on it for patients, that somehow it makes it better. Phooey. I notice things a lot of times that are different or unusual…it happens with age…things won’t stay the same, I won’t feel the same year to year, decade to decade. Almost 100% of the time if I feel sad and don’t know why, it is because I am tired and didn’t sleep well…so I take a nap and feel like a different person afterwards. Most nights after I get in bed I don’t feel like fooling around…why? I’m exhausted! Women are multitasking crazy people…we are stressed, we forget stuff. I refuse to give all the credit to some hormonal thing. Most days I got to stop and think ‘how old am I ?’…I feel great for having 4 kids and I am most days striving for ways to make myself feel even better. Maybe you should treat yourself to a body massage, a facial, some acupuncture. Look into a different form of exercise you haven’t done yet, read a book. Maybe you are just doing too much! Maybe your body is trying to tell you something. Unless my doctor took levels of hormones and/or vitamin levels in my body I wouldn’t put a lot of oomph into it. That’s just me, maybe I live in the land of denial.

    Catherine

    November 7, 2013

    I agree with you on the symptoms. A friend of mine (she’s about 8 years older than I am) told me recently that “age isn’t kind to us women….” That said, I am going to take off the weight I’ve put on over the past decade and hit a milestone for my 50th birthday next October. Here are my stats:

    HW: 167 (October 1)
    CW: 163.4
    HT: 5’8″
    Age: 49
    GW: 142

    Leah Nicole Anderson

    November 7, 2013

    Oh yum Chocolate & PB … chocolate is my go to treat! I hope you feel better! I always live in my head – so kuddos to you for venting on your blog then moving on. However if you truly arent feeling well, be lazy today – you deserve it!!. LOL! Love your videos, blog & advice

    Paula

    November 7, 2013

    I can relate. I started going through menopause at 33 & it really sucked. There just isn’t any other way to describe it. Not to depress you but it took another 10+ years before I finally hit the 1 year without a period means your passed go. The only plus? No longer having to buy tampons or plan vacations “around” that time of the month!

    i am the nightwriter

    November 8, 2013

    when i tried to lose weight i learned a lot that actually surprised me and of course i felt the need to write about it ;) http://thescienceofeverything.wordpress.com/2013/08/18/part-of-the-meal/

    Scott Dow

    November 8, 2013

    I try not to weigh myself very often either. I find that it stresses me out because we drop/gain water weight daily. My mother weighs herself everyday. I don’t know how she can handle that. I like your honesty and openness in this blog. I just recently started a blog myself. I’d love to know what you think of it. http://www.weightloss-motivation.org. Thanks and keep up the good work!

    Karen P

    November 9, 2013

    Highest Weight: 187.4

    Current weight 116.4

    Goal weight range (113-117)

    Months in weight maintenance: 21

    Years to reach this point : 40 years

    Height 5’1″

    Age 47

    Menopause: Yes! first year.

    Thyroid disease: Yes! Balanced out since 1997

    Roni! I hear you on the menopause. I went completely through menopause during my first year of weight maintenance. I had no idea how much my diet would effect me. If I eat from a clean, low inflammatory (for me) food template my symptoms are almost 0. Very few hot flashes, sleep well at night, no weight gain, no headaches. Wonderful to feel okay.

    If I eat grains and processed sugar, then I get ALL of those symptoms. Misery .

    Funny thing is that the same thing that “treats” a stable weight, good blood bio-markers, good muscle strength, migraines, hot flashes, binge urges is….. food- a diet that is almost 0 processed food, customized to me. I get a lot of blog comments that others have reduced symptoms on low process foods diet. Start there. You are almost there already!

    My 2 cents.If you see a doc about this, try a functional medicine doc who is good at listening to you, what you want to do with your life (tough mudders/travel) and will work with you on bio-identical hormones.

    Good luck and the only way out is by going through. Face it from a position of strength.

    dcrunnergirl9

    November 9, 2013

    i’m glad new roni is dealing with things better than old roni. i lost 1.6 lbs this week. hoping for another loss next week as long as i can continue to make healthy choices.

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