One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Wednesday ‘Weigh In’ – This is my scale…

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20131029_Scale

  • In my teens it validated my worst fear: I was fat. (I wasn’t but that’s a whole other story)
  • In my 20s I fought it, continuously losing the battle while gaining more and more weight.
  • In my early 30s I learned to use it as a tool and it helped me accomplish a weight loss I thought was impossible.
  • Now I’m in my late 30s (sigh) and I’m done with it.

That’s right. You heard me.

Done.

My friend Gail sent me this post from Nia Shanks and I found myself nodding through the whole darn thing. Here’s an excerpt.

… I don’t care how much I weigh. The number on the scale means nothing to me. What matters is that I like how I look, how I feel, how I perform, that my quality of life is high, and that I’ve established sustainable lifestyle habits.

It took me a few years to learn that fact, but I’m exceedingly grateful I did, and it’s time for you to as well.

When you put things into context and focus on what really matters, then you realize the scale is practically meaningless.

I couldn’t have said it any better!

Now, all my weekly weighers, have no fear! I will continue to post the Wednesday “Weigh In” posts as I truly believe the scale can help you reach your goals depending on where you are on YOUR journey. I wouldn’t have gotten to this position of scale independence without going through the years I did using the scale as a tool.

But now it seems more of a hindrance than a help. In a way, I’m letting it hold me back.

I’ve outgrown it.

It’s time I move on.

Opinions and weigh-ins welcome (regardless of how or what you want to share.) Use this space as your weekly check in. I love reading all your updates!

 



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Discussion

There are 56 comments so far.

    LisaM

    October 30, 2013

    If you really mean it, I want to see a photo of you attacking your scale with a hammer! Seriously, you work so hard on fitness that you have a good “feel” for your body, & I believe you truly could trash the scale & stay on course. I on the other hand am the master of rationalization, & sometimes things stray too far before I really can admit they are out of hand. (Uh, like admittedly right now…) At times I need that cruel visual to shake me out of my complacency!

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      LOL I thought about it! I really did!! but it seems so destructive and wasteful. Instead it’s getting hidden in the back of my storage space. Believe me… I’m not. Out of sight out of mind.

    Emily

    October 30, 2013

    I came to a similar place in my journey, recently (my lats post!) and it is SO scary to think that I can accomplish great things with out the validation of a scale.

    Scary but awesome. I think. I’m still kind of panicking. ;)

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      Scary is good. We got this!!

    mary

    October 30, 2013

    Roni….I am awed. Someone told me yesterday that we should strive to be awed daily…..thanks :) now to continue with trip details…we leave for our year long trip to Thailand in 32 days!!

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      OMG… HAVE FUN!!

    nancyabc

    October 30, 2013

    Wow I really like this week’s thoughts.
    I need the scale for a tool. It helps me to see how high the lymphadema fluid is in my body and then I have a few tricks to help get it back down a bit. But I do at times make a good day into a bad one over seeing that number in the morning. This Wed. weigh-in has been a great help to me over the past year–some us need to hear it over and over again before it takes.
    Roni thanks for keeping this going.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      I’m not going anywhere. Promise. I’ll just have to come up with a new topic every Wed that doesn’t include my number. :)

      nancyabc

      October 30, 2013

      No number for me either at least for awhile.

    jessey

    October 30, 2013

    I wish I could be without my scale – but since I am 32 lbs into a (hopeful) 83 lb loss, my scale has helped me tremendously. I have learned not to fear it. When I do step on it daily (I only do it once daily- why would I do it more? I am never lighter during the day that I am first thing in the morning), it does help me during the day. In the past- if the scale wasn’t pretty, I was convinced my day would be ruined, but once I have stopped weighing myself, all hell breaks lose. So I step on it every morning, even after a Chinese good dinner – it is just 1 aspect of it. Also, for me, waiting for my clothes to be snug is too late for me.

    Someday I hope to not have to step on the scale every day and even then I will hope that it won’t be my only tool, just 1 thing that will show that I maybe need to ease up on the items that would have sent the scale going up in the first part.

    I am so mad at myself for letting myself gain 50 lbs (after losing 30) – and alot of that had to do with not getting on the scale. I can’t imagine myself gaining 50 lbs if I stepped on the scale every day.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      I was there too Jessey. The scale was a huge part of my success. Keep doing what you’re doing. You got this!

    Dukebdc

    October 30, 2013

    I’ll still keep stopping by whether you use your scale or not. Was hoping you would go all “Office Space” on that thing. :)

    I am holding steady from last week, while also on the heaviest day of my period, so I’ll take it. 8.1 pounds to go to get back into my maintenance range. Checked the calendar and it has been 5 months I’ve been above that range – time flies!

    I will have a challenge on my hands tomorrow – we just bought our first house, so it will be our first Halloween with lots of trick-or-treaters. I have lived in apartments and condos for the last 17 years, and the kiddie traffic was minimal, so the candy purchases were minimal. I reluctantly went out last night and bought a good deal of junk to hand out. I haven’t touched it, and hope to avoid it entirely. Will need to find a good place to take any leftovers – a number of my coworkers are avoiding sweets, so it would be cruel to dump the excess candy in their eyesight.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      lol you aren’t the first person to say that. I may have to have a funny goodbye scale video. :)

    Wifey678

    October 30, 2013

    I think I need to get rid of mine, but still of course do my weekly weigh-in at WW meetings. Every morning I get on and feel defeated and wished I’d gone ahead and eaten that treat if the number is not where I wanted it to be. I let it mind f*** me way too much.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      Ugh.. noooo! PLEASE work on that ” I might as well feeling’ I know one way too well. It doesn’t do you any good!

    Heather Getting Fit

    October 30, 2013

    I think this was the right decision. You’ve maintained for so long and at this point, your goals are clearly shifting towards non-scale victories. You know how your body should feel, so who cares what that thing says! Go Roni!

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      Exactly!

    Brenda

    October 30, 2013

    I tried this one time and I started out well, but then I slacked off on other things like no tracking my food and not making great choices and everything backfired and I gained 7 lbs. 7 lbs that have not come off despite me tracking my calories and moving more. Right now I am stuck. I see the changes in my body but not on the scale. So I have been checking in with a pair of dress pants and that shows improvement, but even on the those days when I weigh my self and it doesn’t reflect my hard work it angers me! I used to be a daily weigher and sometimes more than once a day. So me weighing in once or twice a week is an improvement.
    I am happy for you that you can walk away from it. Its a liberating feeling.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      I was also a daily weigher at one point. It’s definitely a slow transition.

    Martha Glantz

    October 30, 2013

    This sounds like the right decision for you at this point.
    For me, I’m still too new with maintenance (at original goal for one year and at new goal since April) to not pay attention to the scale. Also, I am 5’8″ and in the past could gain 10 pounds and my clothes fit just fine. Don’t want to do that again! I don’t let the scale influence my mood – for the most part. the number is a number and I know that many things will influence it going up or down. I tend to look at the pattern over time.

    You have many years at maintenance and know when you are eating right and exercising so the scale shouldn’t be giving you negative messages.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      You should like where I was a few years ago. :)

    Bonnie Wilson

    October 30, 2013

    When I let go, I finally felt like I finally started living. I was a slave to my scale and I never knew it. My weight will always be in flux thank you Polycystic Ovarain Syndrome. There are some menstrual cycles that I can gain 5 lbs in water weight that goes off really quickly. I accept that, I accept I will always have to be working hard to keep a healthy life style. I needed to realize that the scale does not dictate it, my choices dicated that… I am so happy for you Roni!! Its the best thing ever!!

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      YES! I’m not doing what I’m doing to get to a number.. I’m doing it because I WANT TO. And I feel amazing!

    Kathy @the panda post

    October 30, 2013

    I let go of the scale myself. I today posted to my FB and my blog (The Panda Post) a progress picture, showing how I weigh MORE now than I used to but my body looks the same, if not a tad bit smaller. Well it has to be smaller, my measurements show I am 6 inches smaller. The scale really doesn’t mean anything :-)

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      Good of you!

    Imacrazymomof4

    October 30, 2013

    I’m sure i am going to sound a bit like a broken record…as I’ve had similar responses on this scale dilemma. So please dont take offense if I do.

    Have you ever wondered alittle more deeply why the number on the scale bothers you so much? I get that sometimes we have a number that we want to see and get annoyed that we don’t see it. BUT if we are doing everything right, making good food choices and getting exercise and feeling good about how we are living why does that number matter? I think over time our bodies change, we gain or lose muscle mass depending on the activities we do…that in itself can make that number different.

    Personally I LOVE beer. One of the reasons I love/hate Fall is because of the seasonal beers that only come out this time of year. I could literally gain 10 lbs over the course of the month because those beers aren’t calorie friendly. I also notice my jeans fit alittle different. Even though my exercise regime hasn’t changed my beer calories have easily quadrupled. The scale certainly helps me gauge the calorie damage. It helps me reign it in so to speak.

    I worry when I see people put so much power into the number on the scale that they quit using it altogether. From what I’ve read people who weigh themselves regularly have a higher tendency to keep weight off…I guess there are just as many opposing views to this. Don’t you think the using the scale as you have has helped contribute to your wonderful maintenance success at all?

    Instead of putting the scale away because you don’t want to hear the inner mean girl every time you get on it, face her head on and say who gives a s***? I feel terrific!!! I don’t mean to irritate, just get people thinking.

      RoniNoone

      October 30, 2013

      No offense taken! We all have our opinion. And watching the scale has helped me but I’m done. It’s not that I’m stressing over the number, it’s that I don’t care. If the number doesn’t matter then why remind myself of it daily or weekly? Why keep a tie to all that bad history and self esteem baggage?

      I’m not walking away because I can’t face it I’m walking away because I don’t want to. It’s not serving me anymore. I see no point in continuing to focus on something that gives me no insight towards my new goals.

      Imacrazymomof4

      October 30, 2013

      I get that. It would be a comfort to be rid of it if you associate it with negativity. I feel alittle guilty now because I totally look at the scale as a way of having my cake and eating it too. Even though I really try and make good choices most of the time, there are times (like say Octoberfest) where I have been known to over indulge. I don’t stress about it because I feel like I have room to breath, and what I’m doing isn’t undoing any hard work.

    Lynne

    October 30, 2013

    The scale is gone from my house. It ruled my life, my moods, my self esteem for as long as I can remember… at least 4th grade… when I was FAT. The plan I am using forced me to relinquish my scale – it wasn’t easy, I was anxious at first, but now I am truly free to feel however I want on any day without a stupid number bringing me down! Hooray for no scale!!

      Brenda

      October 30, 2013

      what plan are you following?

      Lynne

      October 31, 2013

      I went for hypnosis (thekeyhypnosis.com) led by Julie Kibe. Her plan is mostly South Beach/Paleo focus on organics, no processed food, and no bread, pasta, sugar, rice, potatoes…and you eat when hungry, and when you eat you must eat protein (with a face) and…NO SCALE! I started last Dec 12 – probably around 190+ and now I am wearing size 6 jeans – last year size 14s… I am amazed at what it has done for me… I have not “cheated” I have not had any desire for any of the things I thought I would never be able to live without (sweets, chips, diet soda…). I don’t know if other hypnotists are as successful.. this woman is amazing!

    Arcaydia

    October 30, 2013

    Hi Roni, i’ve been following you for years! We used to talk on the weight watchers boards all the time! I am back at if after my first kid, hes two now! down 40, 15 from goal, yet again! Just wanted to say love the evolution of your site and the inclusion of the kids, as now i feel like i want to set my son off on the right path =) Your looking strong and happy and im so glad you have such a big following now! <3

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      OMG I so miss those boards! lol

      You are doing awesome!

    MySizeHealthy

    October 30, 2013

    I’ve always had a scale but I never used it much. Only when I was trying to lose weight would I step on it about twice a week just to see where I was falling. I know many women are ruled by the scale but thankfully I have no experienced this and am very thankful because I cannot imagine that stress so I applaud you dumping the scale! I definitely agree that while I’m trying to lose weight (100+ pounds to tackle) I need the scale as a tool, just as you said, to keep me on track and really focus on what I need to do; however, I do know that one day I would love to not have it in my bathroom–kinda ugly, haha–and just rely on the knowledge I’ve learned from eating better and staying active. Too bad you can’t have a scale burning party!

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      My bathroom looks so much better now! lol

    Christy

    October 30, 2013

    I really need the scale while I’m trying to reach goal. Seeing the number while going for the loss is a motivator. I can, however, also understand once you reach goal that constantly weighing in can make one neurotic. It does no good to stress over the fluctuations of a few pounds. What’s more important is staying healthy and feeling good. One doesn’t get to a goal weight without really learning something about eating healthy and their personal habits. So I’m still hitting the scale but support you in getting rid of yours! :)

    Starting weight: 220
    Last week: 212
    This week: 211.4
    Goal weight: 150

    Didn’t lose much last week and I know why – I ate too many calories! I was on the road and became very sloppy about my eating. But back on track for the last few days.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      I needed that scale when I started too. I totally get it.

      And pat yourself on that loss! You did great for being on the road!

    Merbear@MakingOverMerbear

    October 30, 2013

    I’m in therapy for Compulsive Eating and I’m proud to say I’m well on my way to recovery. My dietitian weighs me once a week and does NOT tell me my weight and I’m not allowed to weigh myself on my own. Holy crapoly is it freeing! Its okay for me to feel how I feel…big or small…better fitting in my clothes or not…weaker or stronger. For health reasons and as a *tool* my dietitian uses it for her tracking of my progress, because while my goal isn’t a weight, I do need to lose it to be healthy. She is unbiased though, she’s my partner in this therapy but not me…and its working out so well. I don’t think I will ever weigh myself again!

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      Great approach!

    Bitch on a Diet

    October 30, 2013

    I’m at 153.8 today which means I reached my October goal of seeing 153 point anything on the scale! Goal for November is to see 152 on the scale. If I can get to 150 by the end of the year, that means this will be the first time EVER that I’ve lost weight over the holidays. I am not going backwards this time, nosiree.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      Good for you! What an awesome goal!!

    Christina Savage

    October 30, 2013

    I have been toying around with the idea of losing the scale myself. Its doing the opposite of what I want. I weigh myself. Get mad, eat a shit load. Weigh myself, repeat. I want to eat healthy and move because I want to… so sick of chasing a number. Yes I need to lose 40 lbs but do I NEED to stare at a number several times a day to get there?

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      NO YOU DON’T! Loved your blog post. :)

    ItsMeVsMe

    October 30, 2013

    I don’t really care what the number on the scale says, and I have come to terms with the fact that it’s just a measure of my weight and not a measure of me.

    But the last time I tried to give up the scale, I gained 10 or 15 pounds back and my clothes didn’t fit. I seriously WANT to give up the scale, but I’m seriously afraid of what it will lead to if I do.

      RoniNoone

      October 31, 2013

      I’m still food journaling so I’m definitely in a transition phase to hopefully prevent that from happening. :)

    jtc

    October 31, 2013

    Thank you for always being REAL!! I appreciate it! I am still using the scale as a tool of measure in this lifestyle change as I am improving my overall health and weight, just like my food journal and fitness plan. But my goal is to one day leave the scale behind! You ROCK Roni!!!

    ProfJulie

    October 31, 2013

    Nope, I’m not going to give up my scale when I reach goal. In fact, I expect I’ll weight more often once I hit my goal. All my friends who have never been overweight weigh themselves regularly, and I’m going to be like that.

    Right now, I’ve lost 35 pounds and I’ve got 50 more to go before I’m either at goal or close to goal (I don’t really know for sure what my desired weight goal is – I believe I’ll know it when I reach it). Right now, the scale plays too much of a role in my feelings so I’m trying really hard to only weigh myself once a week. I’d like to stretch it out to only weighing myself once a month, but I’m not there yet. What I’m working on is to change my mental perspective to one of “stay focused, stay on track, trust the process and believe the weight loss will occur” rather than stepping on the scale every day to assure myself that the process is working. That’s making me much happier and content during this weight loss journey.

    This is the third time I’ve gone on this journey of significant weight loss. In the previous two times I’ve lost weight, I managed to maintain the weight loss for several years at a time…..it was when I stopped weighing myself that I began gaining the weight back. When I stopped weighing myself regularly, it somehow sent a signal to my unconscious mind that I was done and could stop watching myself….then I slowly, over several years, gained the weight back. I’m not going to let that happen again.

    Tina

    October 31, 2013

    I’m strangely going to miss your scale photos! They were motivating. I weigh myself daily. I used to turn to food in times of stress and I have found that the scale seems to really help me snap out of that. If there’s a weight gain.. all that means to me is to “check in with myself”… and make sure I’m doing things for myself: like running, yoga, fitness, eating healthy. I’m sure some people ‘get’ me, and others don’t. :)

    Camille Casse

    October 31, 2013

    Hi Roni,

    I’m new to the blogging world, and I love this post of yours. It’s funny, I sort of have a love/hate relationship with my scale. Though, I can’t say that it doesn’t fall nicely with the love/hate relationship I have with my own weight-loss journey. I always happen to hate my scale the morning after I’ve eaten badly, and love it after I’ve had a successful week. It’s nice to see another side of it though. I like how you tell us both about how you view your scale now, how you’ve viewed it negatively in the past, but also how it helped you with your own journey. I actually wrote a post all about why I try to weight myself every day. If you’d like, you can check it out here: http://wewillsucceed.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/45/

    Theresa

    October 31, 2013

    Not giving up my scale yet. I have gone to weighing every couple of days instead of every day and so far that is working. Happy for you though! I hope to get there one day.

    Janice

    November 1, 2013

    … I don’t care how much I weigh. The number on the scale means nothing to me. What matters is that I like how I look, how I feel, how I perform, that my quality of life is high, and that I’ve established sustainable lifestyle habits.”

    everything else is secondary
    – awesome, love it. love every single words in it. thanks Roni.

    www.losecheekfatsite.com

    Stacy

    November 1, 2013

    There is a sign stuck on the scale at the gym that reads: “This scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. THAT’S IT. It CANNOT measure beauty, talent, purpose, possibility, strength or love.” :-)

    Rachel

    November 2, 2013

    I need to stop weighing myself every day since it fluctuates I am going to try weekly.

    Rachel

    November 2, 2013

    I have NES does anyone else have this. I am so struggling with eating in the middle of the night. I hate this

    dcrunnergirl9

    November 9, 2013

    i appreciate the scale because it gives me a reality check when i’m trying to convince myself that my clothes aren’t actually getting tighter. it sounds really weird, but i play some pretty amazing head games with myself, apparently.

    judy

    May 20, 2014

    I am significantly older than you. but have finally come to that point in my life as well. Today, the scale goes in the trash. I don’t care what I weigh. I have been eating healthy and clean for a while now and i just started KOKO fit club last month. I can already see my body changing and I like the way I feel. i am also riding a bicycle and jogging/walking with the fam. For me, thats what it is all about. Feeling good, getting strong. I have also signed up for a mud run in september with some friends. I have followed weight watchers on and off for years now but I can’t live in bondage to the scale anymore!!!!!