OK, I’m freaking out.
Like butterflies in my stomach, nervous, jittering freaking out!
I have a habit of doing this. I’ll sign myself up or plan something in the future as a “distant” goal and then all of a sudden it sneaks up on me. Time has a habit of just continually moving doesn’t it?
Sorry. Told you. I’m FREAKING. OUT.
I need to enter the just-show-up-and-go-with-the-flow zone.
Anyway, I came cross this quote on GoodReads.com and it kind of captures my philosophy for doing all the crazy things I’ve done these past 8 years like signing up for races, Mudders and now CrossFit competitions. It all comes down to shoving myself out of my comfort zone.
I say “kind of captures my philosophy” becuase the author loses me a bit with her metaphor. She struck me as a rambler much like myself and it made me smile.
“I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that’s what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it’s only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing “tail” behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they’re shooting stars! That’s why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it’s during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I’m like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn’t know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn’t know existed in me… I see myself. I’m a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I’m not going to die out. I guess I’m more like a comet then. I’m just going to keep on coming back.”
― C. JoyBell C.
See what I mean? Maybe I’m just too distracted to follow the whole meteor/comment thing but she hit the nail on the head for me with this line…
“…it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most!”
I really think we build safe little bubbles, convincing ourselves we can’t do this, we’re too fat to do that, we’re too old to start now, blah, blah, blah.
I popped my bubble when I decided to wear a tank top on a hot day. It sounds so stupid simple but when I trace back the steps that got me here, right now, freaking out about a CrossFit competition tomorrow, that’s where I end up. That was the first time I “hurled myself out into the unknown” so don’t think you have to go and commit to a marathon to get started. Start where you are and do what you can, when you can regardless of how silly you think it sounds to other people. You never know where it will lead you, and let me tell you from experience, it’s fun finding out.