Sometimes I just don’t know how to start a post and this is one of those times.
I’ve been feeling … dare I say it … fat.
Stop rolling your eyes. I know. I know. But sometimes it’s the only word that captures that uncomfortable, thick, unhappy, self-conscious, blah feeling. I’m trying hard to remove the connection in my brain between “fat” and “feelings,” but it’s pretty deep rooted. We’re talking years of dysfunctional thinking here.
The official Tough Mudder Photos were released and like last year, my inner mean girl is really letting loose.
She has me focusing on all the wrong things. Again.
I’m so over listening to her yell about my weight and body size. I really am. Especially when I’m doing things like this.
(OMG, I’m STILL freaking out about the Plank and I’ve done it 6 damn times!)
I decided a long time ago that my body is and will be a product of my lifestyle. I refuse to starve myself and focus on particular body parts all in the name of sculpting some perfect body. This is me.
I’m a 37-year-old mom who likes CrossFit, running, and ice cream all way too much. If we can figure out how to add more hours in the day, I’d love to take a yoga class here and there. I’m happily married to a junk-food junkie who brought Doritos to bed last night and supports me in all my crazy adventures. I’m almost always smiling and I consciously work on being happy, grateful and content. It’s not always easy but I’ve learned it’s worth it. I’m also, apparently, out of focus.
This is my favorite photo they captured.
Not because of the way my body looks, but because when I saw it, the first thing I noticed was my smiling face and it immediately brought back the sense of accomplishment I felt when I crossed that finish line.
I’m sorry I hijacked our Wednesday Weigh In post this week, but I needed to get this out of my head. The scale really doesn’t have anything for me today. I didn’t need to weigh in. I needed to write this post.
Inner mean girl must not have liked it too much. I can barely hear her now.