One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident


10 Things You Tell Friends That You Should Be Telling Yourself

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Why are we so hard on ourselves?

From hating our bodies to thinking we are aren’t enough, it’s time we stop being our own worst enemy and start to treat ourselves the way we treat our friends.

Here are 10 things I’m sure you’ve told a close friend at one time or another. Maybe we should show ourselves the same kind of kindness.

10. “You look great!”

I’m so guilty of this, it isn’t funny. I rarely dress up and when I do, I pick apart my outfit, my hair, my shoes, etc. I focus on everything I think is a flaw instead of confidently looking in the mirror and saying, “You look great!

9. “Maybe you should take a break.”

It’s so easy for us to look at our friends’ lives and tell them to slow down. Yet I bet there’s always something more you HAVE to do.

8. “No worries. It’s cool.” 

Why does it seem exponentially easier to forgive our friends than ourselves?

7. “Oh stop, you aren’t fat.” 

I’m going to bet, regardless of how much your friend weighs, you never, ever agree with her when she calls herself fat. Why? Because fat talk is negative, destructive behavior and does no one any good. Next time you start to utter, or even think those three little words (“I’m so fat”), show yourself the same respect you show your friends. STOP IT.

6. “You’ve GOT this.” 

We confidently pat our friends on the back all the time because we know what they are capable of. We have faith in their abilities, yet we constantly doubt ourselves. Why?

5. “Everything will be OK.” 

Is that not the first thing you say to your friend in crisis? Next time, try to repeat it to yourself when things get rough.

4. “Maybe it’s time to try something new.”

Sometimes it’s easy to give friends advice because we are outside looking in with a completely different perspective.  And sometimes that’s exactly what we need to do for ourselves.

3. “You are amazing!” 

This needs no explanation. Say it to yourself sometimes, OK?

2. “You should do what makes you happy.”  

It’s advice always given to others, yet rarely done ourselves.

1. “Love you.” 

I don’t care how cheesy it sounds. Show yourself some love!

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There are 10 comments so far.


    September 17, 2013

    A couple of years ago when I really got serious about losing weight, I had a couple of giant realizations…and what you are writing about was one of them. I wanted to be my very own best friend. Why was I mean to myself and yet so nice and supportive to everyone else? I don’t know why we do it, but you are right. I had another one when I was on a business flight and heard the stewardess make the usual anouncement to put your air mask on first if traveling with a child….I would have automatically gone to save my child. But for whatever reason, that day it clicked. I cannot take care of anyone else, if I don’t take care of myself. By not taking care of myself, I am modeling to my kids (and my daughter especially) that that’s just what Mom’s do…and I’m setting her up to follow my model. ***You are awesome Roni. Seriously. I have been reading you for many years and I know you hear it all the time, but I don’t know if you’ve heard it today. You are awesome. Thanks for all you do.***


      September 27, 2013

      Lola, that is a very powerful visualization to use: putting your own oxygen on so you can help others. Thank you!! I’m a very visual person and the concept of being a friend to myself is too vague to visualize. I can clearly see the oxygen mask situation, though. :)


    September 17, 2013

    This just about made me cry. Thank you so much!! A much needed reminder!

    Sammy @ Peace Love & Ice Cream

    September 17, 2013

    Great post – so so true!!! I should print this and stick it on the fridge as a daily reminder to treat myself with the respect, love and kindness that I show my friends! Thanks Roni!
    -Sammy @

    Sherri D

    September 17, 2013

    How did someone so young get to be SO smart! :)

    Tim Emerson

    September 18, 2013

    10 tips to follow. Thanks sharing.

    – tim @ How To lose Fat


    September 18, 2013

    Great post Roni!

    Mindy Lee

    September 18, 2013

    Great post! Just had someone in the lunch room say she is fat and I wanted to give her a big old hug and say number 10, number 7, number 5, number 3 and number 1 to her :)

    And how about “It’s okay to make mistakes”. This is a biggie for me!


    September 19, 2013

    That is one of the biggest things I think I’ll always fight with. We are always our worst critic even though we should be our own no. 1 fan.


    September 20, 2013

    Love this! :)