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It’s 4:30 a.m. local time and I can’t sleep. Shocker. 

Not only is my body clock off because of the time change and 13 hours of travel. I’m in overdrive considering it’s basically FitBloggin‘ Eve. My head is filled with a long to-do list surrounded by a bit of worry, fear, anxiousness and excitement.

But this is a weigh-in post, so I’m going to let it distract me a bit.  :)


It’s not working.

I can’t even remember how this last week went!

This may be a non-scale victory of sorts. I’ve been so busy doing my thing I haven’t had time to worry about food choices, body image or what the scale says.

Although, yesterday I was a mess. and definitely stress/boredom eating on the plane rides. I kicked off the day fabulously with an early-morning run and workout then came home and made myself a few eggs before heading to the airport. I felt great. I even thought I looked great as I caught a glimpse of myself in the airport bathroom mirror.

Note: When a recovering serial dieter says they “thought they looked great” they mean skinny. I thought I looked skinny.

By the time I touched down in Portland I felt like a slug. I was sitting for 12 hours, tired and stressed. Now all of a sudden the reflection in the mirror didn’t seem so “great.” I felt bloated, gross and thick.

Regardless of what I ate, there’s no way I went from “skinny” to “thick” in one plane ride across the country.  My logical brain knows this even though my emotional one doesn’t, and now my inner mean girl wants to take advantage and bully me into feeling bad about myself.

Thankfully I’m too busy to care what she thinks. I’m lacing up now to get an early run in because there’s no way I’m giving up on my #RWRunStreak now. I think I’m 31 days in! I can’t believe it!

After that I have a full day of event planning stress to fill my day.

Anyway, enough of my ridiculous ramblings. How was your week?? I’m looking forward to your updates although I may not have time to read them until this weekend. Sorry. :(

  • Jennifer

    Thanks for talking about the things that happen inside of my head! I am sure all will be great! Enjoy!

  • LisaM

    Roni, it’s so interesting that you’ve identified that neg. mindset as feeling “thick”. I think that’s worth endless hours of internal dissection. If you can boil that feeling down to an adjective, I bet you could come up with lots of deep & hidden meanings for it. Very cool & perceptive! (BTW, even if you feel thick, another reminder that you don’t look it.) GOOD LUCK w/the conference.

    My week was good – eating and exercising responsibly, but I wasn’t gunning to lose. Scale says I’m up 0.5 lb, which to me is acceptable bouncing. Just as long as I get some downward bounces too, I’ll be happy.

  • Stacie

    I had been really scale-stuck over the last 1.5 months. From the beginning of May to the middle of June, I had only lost 4 lbs. I was still working out and eating as healthy as I could, but it just wouldn’t budge. So I focused on ramping up my workouts and on what I was putting into my body. I stopped counting calories and just let my body dictate. Was my eating perfect? Absolutely not. But I focused on having balanced meals/snacks. I focused on eating more REAL food, less processed food. And you know what? My body liked it. And this morning, the scale reflected that. I couldn’t be prouder of myself and where I’ve come. This is probably the healthiest mindset I’ve been in all my attempts at losing weight and I can’t wait to see where it takes me!

    Starting weight: 279.8 (1/1/13-ish)
    Last week: 243.8
    This week: 238.8
    Weekly loss: 5 lbs (!!!!)
    Total loss: 41 lbs

    • Imacrazymomof4

      Way to go! Keep up the great work!

    • Shan

      Great work :)

  • Karen

    I’ve been an off/on reader for a long time now. I pop in when I need a bit of motivation or a fresh mind set. I spent awhile this morning reading through your Wednesday weigh-in posts when I saw that you hadn’t been weighing in. I have been a slave to the scale for many many years. Over the last couple of years I have watched my weight slowly creep up and up. 20 pounds over the last 2 years in fact. I made a few changes in my diet and lost 7 pounds and due to lots of random reasons I hadn’t weighed myself in nearly 4 weeks. I was at a point where I was afraid to get on the scale because I was sure it would show I had gained the 7 pounds I had lost. When I weighed myself, I saw that I had lost another pound. While a pound lost over a month isn’t stellar, it’s better then gaining 7. I am struggling with trusting myself and being confident in the decisions I am making. I almost feel like my dependency to the scale contributed to my weight gain. So, I can relate to the idea of not weighing in, though I’m sure I will from time to time as a check in.

    • nancyabc

      I weigh-in at WW on Saturday and check Tues. and Thurs. so I can adjust what I am eating but sometimes it gets me down and then I eat more. So maybe I need to just make good choices and rely on that.

  • Trixie

    HW: 215.5
    CW: 165.4 (-3)
    GW: 155
    H: 5’7″
    Age: 41

    Weighing in to officially celebrate a year of maintaining 50+ lbs lost (my birthday was 2 days ago and my original goal was to lose 40lbs by my 40th birthday). I’ve been up over the past couple of weeks with various celebrations, but moving on down again – even on my birthday week. Roni – your posts are so real and ring true for the up/down struggle we all deal with at some point in our journey/day! I look forward to hearing more about the conference – I see many bloggers attending who are super excited.

    • nancyabc

      Best Wishes–hope the coming year is even better for you.

  • Dukebdc

    HW: 148
    CW: 126.4 (+0.6)
    GW: 120-125
    HT: 5’2″
    Age: 35

    Feeling good this week. Scale is still hovering slightly over my goal range, but I know I’m doing the right things, and results will come. Clothes are fitting well, I’m getting lots of fresh veggies, and life is good. Had my annual check-up today and am grateful for a clean bill of health (and weighing less than last year!).

    • Imacrazymomof4

      Yay! I go next week for my annual and I too can’t wait to see how my weight has changed from one year ago. I’m sure it’s a great feeling of all the hard work you have put in! Great job!

  • dcrunnergirl9

    i didn’t weigh this week. i totally get the thing about ‘looking great’ … i have a hectic week ahead of me and i think for the next week i’m just going to stay focused on fueling my body properly.

  • Imacrazymomof4

    HW: 200+ when pg
    CW: 128.2 (-.8)
    GW: 120′s
    Age: 44
    Ht: 5’6

    I’m down a tad from last week which is nice since I’ve been changing up my exercise routine somewhat. My eating has been a lot more social with swim meets twice a week and a lot of afternoons at the pool with the kids. I’ve been taking containers of veggies to nosh on in the afternoons which surprisingly have gone over nicely with the kids. I’ve even quit documenting my daily weights which before I was pretty regimented about it…not consciously not documenting it but just too busy not caring to do it…forgetting. I know I still will weigh esp with the increase in social eating which usually means an increase in alcohol calories. That’s just how I roll since I know it happens and when I drink more i eat more. Life is unexpected, I need to pay attention ESP with the increased social eating.

    I think traveling is one of the toughest things! Not being in your normal state and not drinking normally or being herded like cattle to and fro makes things tough! I really hate the whole process and give in to my desires to make my existence more pleasurable. It’s how I get through it. It’s not a normal day by any stretch of the imagination.

  • valerie

    I turned 42 on Monday. Holy crow! No net loss this week – or gain. I’ve been killing it at the gym. I was so excited yesterday because my ankle bones are more prominent and so are my cheekbones. I also think my underarm fat is shrinking. I moved up in weight on a few machines at the gym. It’s progress. I’m still down 7 pounds for this month alone. My goal was 10 but that is unlikely in the remaining 5 days. I am okay with that because I’m working really hard. Just need to clean up the eats some! :) Two thumbs up!

    • nancyabc

      Best Wishes to you–hope the coming year is a great one for you.

    • Trixie

      Happy birthday to you as well – I turned 41 on Monday. Great job being down 7 pounds this month – what a great birthday gift to yourself!

  • nancyabc

    Oh I am up 8 pounds this week and 1.4 last week. I know I can lose this and more but I have lost my forward momentum. I have kept 130 pds off since I’ve been trying again so I know I can keep going. Thanks to all who share and support this Wed. Weigh In because I know it helps me to keep trying.
    Hope everyone has a good week–I know I am going to try to have a good one.

  • Shan

    CW:163 (down 2 pounds)
    Happy Weight:145

    I haven’t logged in a long time. I have been hanging out between 159-165 and I am just tired of it. I ran a half marathon and didn’t change my weight much. So I recently (last week) started WW on my own to track for awhile to get my eating in check. There seems to be a lot less folks weighing in as before. I hope it picks up again. It is motivating.

  • Kim

    Are you one of the event planners for FitBloggin’?
    I was hoping to get to go but not to be this year – hopefully next year!!

    • Amanda Williams Straw

      She’s the one who started FitBloggin’ 4 years ago (I think?!?)!! Although, now she’s gotten smart and enlisted some help from her friends. :)

    • Kim

      Well, I feel stupid!!! Can I claim being a new blogger (less than a year)?

  • Peggy

    Hi, Roni, Thanks for another honest post. I’ve had the same experience, too. It’s healthy to question our own thinking, especially when we know the thinking is b.s.! Yep, sitting on a plane for 12 hours will make you feel like a slug. Good for you for not getting into the feel bad, eat bad, feel more bad cycle. It’s good self-care to have the realization of what you really needed: exercise to refresh you. I’ve been treating myself well, too, with regular exercise this week, and I hope I will keep on giving myself what I really need to feel good.

  • Cat

    Wow! I do the same thing all the time – look at myself in the morning and think I look great! (i.e., skinny) Then I eat things I shouldn’t have (or too much) and I feel awful…. such a crazy way of thinking! But, nice to know I’m not the only one who struggles with this.

  • Mehgann

    I went on vacation to Key West last week, and when I got back on Monday I was up SIX POUNDS. But I have already lost it. So it must have been water/beer weight. :) So, I’m at the same weight I was two weeks ago, but at this point, it’s a victory!

  • Dana Glabeman

    I’ve always believed that the negative mindset can derail weight loss worse than any cheating or missed workout. Point-of-fact: your pictures look amazing but you still had a “thick” moment. I call it “fat girl in the head”. I’m so glad you basically told her to shut up and get out of the way. I feel sometimes like those of us in the middle of losing weight who have had success but are still trying to reach goals live with two selves: the old self that used to put us down and still rears its head whenever we let our guard down, and the self that’s in front of us, our future self, saying, “come on, I’m right here, you’re only X steps away!” Every time we buckle down, like you making sure you get your run in, thick moment or no thick moment, is pushing the old self further and further away.

  • annie

    i know i’m super late but better late…
    HW: 260 (pg)
    CW: 224.6 (up one lb)
    GW: I90
    H: 5’8″
    Age: 36

    ugh, up a pound. i love your entry roni because this pound feels like ten. just keep on keeping on. doing some cooking etc. i hope fit bloggin goes *amazing* and i hope you all have a great week

  • marie

    great post, thanks for sharing! I so often changed the way i feel about myself during the day knowing i could possibly not have gained any weight in some hours.. blech!

    BTW the new ad banner down on your side (some nike shoe) is really annoying.. I totally understand that you want to make some money for all the great content you offer but these pulsating, not going away banners are really a pain in the you know where..

  • Malou

    Great . Nice !! Losing weight is never an easy task that’s why to help by providing sensible information


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