One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Wednesday Weigh In: Selling Ourselves Short

34 Comments 1917 views

I was shocked at the scale reading this morning. If you are keeping score the past 4 weeks — pretty much since seeing my “magic number” on the scale —  I’ve shown a gain. So last week I decided to change things up, trust myself a bit more. I wanted to focus on what I was eating, not how much.

I didn’t talk about this last week, but I really think I was/am underestimating my calorie needs for my current activity level, especially with all my CrossFit workouts. Sometimes I still approach the eating/weight-loss thing as I did 8 years ago when I didn’t workout, run, or have 2 kids to tackle. I’m still grappling with lowering my calories because, well, that’s what worked! I was able to consistently drop 2 lbs a week through diet alone back then.

Now things are a bit more complex.

I’m not making excuses, just self observations.

Overall my new approach worked. I immediately felt less pressure to figure out how to enter something in MyFitnessPal or weigh out a serving. I started to get excited by making kale salads and fun ways to add more vegetables to my diet, but as the week went on I started to slowly slip into old habits. Little remnants of the perfection mindset were sneaking in and by last night I found myself binging on cookies because there was no way the scale wasn’t going to show a gain this morning.

I was self-sabotaging before even giving myself a chance.

I sold myself short and I’m going to bet you’ve done it, too.

I hopped on the scale this morning, eyes closed. I waited 30 seconds until the number locked in, and then I saw this…

20130522_weighin Trusting myself may be the hardest part of this journey.

I really felt fantastic all week too. I’m wondering if it may be time for me to step away from scale again, or at least figure out a way to track the data without the unconscious pressure I appear to be putting on myself.

GAH!

Enough about me! How was your week? I have to go anyway, I’m late for CrossFit! 



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 34 comments so far.

    Kathy

    May 22, 2013

    Yeah,,,,for you. How many times do you workout during the week? I am having the same issues. I lost over 100 lbs with WW, I am maintaining, but having a heck of a time. I workout everyday, either cardio (running) or weights or a class. I thinking I may be doing to many workouts?

      RoniNoone

      May 22, 2013

      I workout 5-6. I don’t think it’s too much. I LOVE every minute of it. I think I just need to move past this weight loss mindset once and for all.

    whosallysparrow

    May 22, 2013

    My scale read a loss of 3 lbs this week. I feel like it must be a mistake.

      RoniNoone

      May 22, 2013

      See! Don’t sell yourself short!

      whosallysparrow

      May 22, 2013

      I actually replaced the batteries just to be sure. Lol! It was correct. And you are right. ;)

    Dukebdc

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 148
    CW: 127.0 (-0.8)
    GW: 120-125
    HT: 5’2″
    Age: 35

    So a small loss this week. Like you, Roni, up until last week I had been on a 4-week gain cycle. Last week I maintained, and this week I had a small loss. Mostly I was more active (not working out per se, but not sitting at home snacking). I was also out of town, which is actually good for my efforts, because I don’t tend to overeat when I am around other people 24/7 and eating at regular intervals. My parents always sit down for breakfast on the weekends, and rarely snack between meals. This is how I grew up, and it’s what I aim to return to. Everyone has to learn what works best for them, and I’m discovering that grazing throughout the day just leads to overeating for me. I’m going to try cutting down to one planned snack a day (between 4-6pm, my personal “witching hours” for bad food choices.)

    Hope everyone has a great week!

      RoniNoone

      May 22, 2013

      I may be your polar opposite! lol I eat more when around others and grazing is what works for me. Just goes to show, everyone is different!

    Sarah

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 246
    CW: 237
    GW: 140
    HT: 5’4
    Age: 29

    Down 2 lbs! So far this is working. Exercise and low carb. I have noticed a drastic increase in my confidence, even though I’m wearing the same clothes. I call that success!

      RoniNoone

      May 22, 2013

      HUGE NSV! Goof for you. That feeling is contagious!

    Trixie

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 215.5
    CW: 164.4 (+3.8)
    GW: 155
    H: 5’7″
    Age: 40

    Bam! There it is – and I earned every pound with every cookie, snack, drink and extra serving of delicious food at the cottage we were at for the long weekend (Canadian). Getting back on track. Making healthier choices already this week. How does it go on so quick but take such hard work to get it off??!?! Million dollar question, I know.

      RoniNoone

      May 22, 2013

      It’s life’s cruel joke! lol

    LisaM

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 180+
    CW: 155
    GW: 150
    H: 5’6″
    Age: 52

    Scale didn’t budge, but that’s not too concerning. I was a point-counting, journal-keeping, activity-seeking WW this week and I rocked it. And the scale did drop on fat %, so I’ll eventually have a water dump when my bod gets used to the new regime. Now that the microscope has been turned on, I feel I wasn’t too far off track. I think I just need to get used to going to bed without a belly full of comfy carbs, & squeeze in a bit more exercise, & that should get me back to where I need to be.

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      Ahhh the comfy carbs. They are my downfall too. lol You’ve got this.

    Kelly

    May 22, 2013

    Been following you for a long time Roni and have almost exact same history with being overweight, losing it, gaining it, the yo yo, the binging, the negative self talk. I too am a Mom in my late *ahem* 30’s. : ) Waking away from the scale is the best thing I ever did and it was the last step to true freedom. Making breakthroughs with mentality, serving size, whole food eating, becoming an athlete (yes, that’s you) etc. are awesome and life changing. Continuing to step on the scale week after week is keeping with the old mindset of “measuring up”, what defines success, and the answer to “are we good enough this week” (or insert whatever other self inflicted questions that we have never really said outloud). We try to tell ourselves that the number does not affect us, that we are just “monitoring”, “keeping an eye on it”, and that it is just “one tool” in our approach to health. That is a lie. Not for all, but for those of us that have lived a life being very overweight at one time, had self confidence issues, tried everything, I mean EVERYTHING just to see the number go down on the scale, it is a lie. The number on the scale is bondage to us because no matter how much we change our lifestyle, exercise habits, foods we buy that all reflect our progression to a healthy and fit life, that number speaks to us and continues to define us (to a point, but still). If the number on the scale truly does not matter, then why do we have to step on it? Do our clothes not tell us? The minute we button a shirt or pull up a zipper, do we not intuitively “know” where we are? Learning to trust our new lifestyle without the scale is hard and there is a period of withdrawal and doubt, but true freedom…..true freedom from the old mindset, the old standards, and that nasty inner voice that talks to us when we see the “number”. Walking away from the scale will most likely take you out of your comfort zone, but isn’t that where you thrive? (Crossfit Games, Tough Mudders, Travel, etc). You can do it.

      LisaM

      May 22, 2013

      You preach it Kelly! Your comments were so powerful I hope you don’t mind if I respond with my reasons for utilizing the scale. Although I didn’t lose a huge amount of weight, it’s been a struggle all my life. I finally changed my relationship with food, and if old habits didn’t creep in from time to time, I too would have no use for the scale. But as a fickle human, I can play too many mind games if I go just by clothing fit to monitor whether or not those old habits are getting entrenched again. I’d probably be on a 10 lb pendulum if I just went by clothing, and that takes long enough that the bad habits have gotten too ingrained. So I only use the number on the scale as an unbiased monitor of how healthy my habits are. I find that focusing on my habits for the amount of time it takes to lose the extra weight is just about long enough to internalize good habits again. So, I don’t freak out if I’m really concentrating on living the way I know I should but the number on the scale isn’t where I want it. I just know that means I need to continue concentrating.

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      Used your comment in today’s post too! http://ronisweigh.com/2013/05/to-weigh-or-not-to-weigh-that-is-the-question.html

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      Loved your comment so much I made it a post! http://ronisweigh.com/2013/05/to-weigh-or-not-to-weigh-that-is-the-question.html

      Thanks for calling me out. I mean it. :)

    nancyabc

    May 22, 2013

    I didn’t look at the scale or take a sticker this week at WW. The receptionist just went OH MY–and things will get better!!! My weight is up over 10 pds this week. This is mainly do to the problem with fluid I have (water pills won’t work on lymphedemia fluid) and eating far too many carbs. I know eating healthier will make a difference and I have to make changes (one is I can’t eat those extra weekly points at least not for some time to come) and I need to start walking as much as my legs will carry me. I will get the scale moving back down but it will take a lot of effort on my part (this has been lacking lately). I am going to WW meetings on Tues., Thur. and Saturday until I get my self-motivation back.
    Thanks for listening to my self help talk!!
    Hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend.

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      Love that you are moving on with an action plan!

    annie

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 260 (pg)
    CW: 222.4 (no change)
    GW: I90
    H: 5’8″
    Age: 36

    i had cake and bbq yesterday, usually the fear of the weigh in will stop me but not yesterday. i made the cake, molasses, delicious

    anyway, did a great bar circut today, deadlift, b/o row, hang clean, push press, back squat, (done with 65 lbs) push ups, 6/6

    before i hopped on the scale i just kept repeating “this is not my only worth” i get scale crazy but if i don’t weigh in it is just like free license to eat what i want, it helps me stay accountable. loved your post roni, hope everyone had a great week

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      You’re doing great! And I consider the not changing your diet the night before weigh in a NSV! Big time.

    Bitch on a Diet

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 159.8
    CW: 156.2
    GW: 145
    H: 5’7
    Age: 29

    I indulged this past week but at least I didn’t go overboard and bnge eat like I tend to do. I was hoping for more than a .02 loss but I would say that this number really reflects my eating habits. I’m visiting friends this weekend so I really just want to maintain this week. Make good choices but still allow myself some wiggle room.

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      Love that you are recognizing the NSVs!

    Christine

    May 22, 2013

    We are scale twins. It has been going on for a couple months now — practically identical. We have the same magic number, too.
    I’ll try harder this week so that we may have a better reading next Wednesday. Lol!

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      LOL I’ll see what I can do too. ;)

    Sheri J

    May 22, 2013

    HW 305
    CW 248.8(-0.4)
    GW 150
    HT 5’3″
    Age 57
    Roni you are the best and of course you have to do what is best for you. I just worry that if I don’t come here for the accountability that I and others who count on the Wednesday group will suffer. Certainly it is my responsibility but I look forward to your Wednesday posts (all of your posts really) and the wonderful tips/insights/guidance you have for those of us in our various stages of “dieting”.

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      I’m not going anywhere. Promise. :)

    Imacrazymomof4

    May 22, 2013

    HW: 200+ when pg
    CW: 129.4 (+.8)
    GW: 120’s
    Ht: 5’6
    Age: 44!

    I’m up a smidge from last week but that could be the heat, the date on the calendar or anything. I’m not stressing out but I’m not going to be going to Hilton Head with the Hunny with a huge comfort zone that’s for sure. I’m not going to be home to weigh in next week so we will see how much damage is done! Have a great 2 weeks!

      RoniNoone

      May 23, 2013

      Have FUN!

    Chris Brown

    May 23, 2013

    Roni –

    I wonder if you have gained muscle. With all those cross fit work outs, I bet you have lost fat pounds and then regained muscle pounds. Have you ever had a body composition done? At my gym this January, I joined a group that had a 3 day boot camp like workout. Before and after the program we had to have a fat/muscle screening using calipers on several places. I think something like this may have happened with you and you’re actually much leaner than you were.

    The scale only shows pounds.

    This link shows the percentages. I went from http://www.acefitness.org/blogs/images/posts/112/table.gif Since I’ve been reading your posts, I’ve gone from the bottom category to the middle category.

    I’ll bet you’re in the athlete category — anyone who can do double header mudders and still be smiling on Monday!!!

    Chris

      Trish

      May 26, 2013

      I also wonder if you would prefer tracking body fat % instead of weight for a change up … You are such an inspiration!

    Theresa

    May 23, 2013

    Small loss this week but I will take it! I think I’m in the same boat as you, Roni. I’m training for a 150 mile 2 day MS bike ride and am cycling 3-4x a week. That’s a lot of calories burned!! I felt I wasn’t getting enough to eat because I was so tired so I increased my protein and calories and it showed on the scale! YAY1

    Connie D

    May 23, 2013

    HW 176
    CW 174
    GW 130
    Ht: 5’4″
    I have rejoined weight watchers because I lost 30lbs 4 years ago and then I quit going and gained it all back. I wish I had been more diligent about stepping on the scale, because I lived in denial until I gained about 20 of the pounds I lost. I work in the health care field and wear scrubs to work everyday and boy do they stretch! I feel like the scale keeps me accountable. Even at the weight I am not I don’t hate myself, and I don’t beat myself up but I know I am not healthy and that bothers me. I have two beautiful children and I want to be an example to them so off I go on my weight loss journey again. Thanks Roni for being so faithful to your blog I read it most days and you are a wonderful example of a healthy mom!!

    Janine

    May 26, 2013

    So this past weekend my husband and I had a wedding to attend. Since the number on my scale was lower than it was the last time I wore my dress, I figured no problem my dress will be an easy fit. Well, I can tell you it was not an easy fit! My husband eventually did manage to zip it up, however, I now had a roll of skin on my back which was never there before. Roni, you just have to look at one of your pictures to know you are healthy and in the best shape of your life! You’re toned and active! And yes maybe sometimes we all make the wrong food choice or over-indulge, and then of course the scale may go up, but the truth is here, no matter what the number on the scale says, you bought a 2-piece bathing suit, and have accomplished more in the past year than I have in my entire adult life! I may have an ok number on the scale, but I’m a jiggly mess! Building muscle is important, and that’s what you’re doing! Unfortunately muscle weighs more than fat. So although you may use the scale as one of your tools for measuring your success, I think you should pull out a photo to see how great you look! Thanks for always inspiring and motivating!