One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident


This Just in…

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I’m OLD!


Now, hear me out as I know some of you reading are even older than I, so don’t go getting your panties in a twist. These are just some thoughts floating through my head after a funny conversation at the gym.

During warm-up, I happened to hear 2 guys talking about when they graduated high school, and after butting in, I immediately regretted it.

Apparently I was the oldest one there!

By a LOT.

The closest in age to me was the guy I thought was OLD.

He graduated high school in 1997.


I was already in college dating The Future Husband at that time. I graduated in 1994. There was some comfort in knowing that Mr. ThoughtHeWasOldGuy and I were at least in high school at the same time, but remember, this is the guy I thought was older than me. I had over 10 years on almost everyone else!

I’m still in a bit of shock and disbelief. I just assumed most of us were all the same age. I mean I knew there were a few young’uns but by far I was in the majority being in my 30s.

At least that’s what I thought.

Am I the only one in my, OK late-30s, who still feels like they never left their 20s?

When did that happen anyway?

Oh yeah, about 7 years ago!


In a few short months I’ll be 37, putting me far closer to 40 than I feel comfortable with.

I know it shouldn’t matter and really, it doesn’t. I do have a small amount of regret for not seizing life a little sooner. It’s a bit depressing to think about all the time I wasted in my bad body image and yo-yo dieting cycle of hell days, but all that only propels me to grab more of life by the horns now.

On the flip side of being oldER, there is a part of me who’s tired of feeling young. I don’t mean physically or even mentally, I mean psychologically. Maybe it’s just semantics, but sometimes I think of myself still as a girl, not a woman. I’m the student, not the teacher (even though I taught college for 6 years.) I’m the daughter, not the mom. And even though I’ve owned my own business for 4 years, I act more like an employee than a boss.

Is this making any sense?

As I’m discovering with most things, it comes down to confidence. I think I’m ready to start being “old” in the sense of experience and self-assurance, but my goal is to stay young at heart and in physical ability.

That’s not too much to ask. Is it?

I snapped this picture yesterday after reaching a personal goal at the gym.


I cleaned and jerked 95 lbs for the first time — those in CrossFit will understand — and I felt like a million bucks. I can honestly say there’s no way I would have been able to do that 10 years ago. I also couldn’t run a mile, do a chin-up or even find the smallest bit of pleasure in moving my body the way I do now. Oh and yeah, I was at least 40 lbs heavier.

I (and this blog) may have started on a weight loss mission but I’ve grown, changed, and learned so much about myself these, geesh, almost 8 years. There’s no way I’d want to go back just for the sake of youth. I’d rather be the old lady at the gym any day. It’s so much more fun than being young when still battling a bad body image and yo-yo dieting.

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There are 25 comments so far.

    Irene @ IZO Fitness

    May 9, 2013

    You’re not old…you’re vintage! :D


      May 9, 2013

      I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not. LMAO

      Irene @ IZO Fitness

      May 9, 2013

      LOL! It’s a definite compliment. It means you have a lot of value. I’m 38, so we’re close to the same age. :)

    Cindy Corliss

    May 9, 2013

    This happens to me all. the. time. I’m 37 and I feel way too close to 40 as well. At the very least neither of us look it, so that’s a positive! :)

    Yanet Bradley

    May 9, 2013

    hope you realize how awesome you are… only 37 and have accomplished so much… but overall you are a happy person…

    Kirstin Stokes Smith

    May 9, 2013

    On behalf of the ancients (I’m one) who are *over* *40* (gasp!), as you advance, the real icing on the cake is not feeling your age. Also, feeling better than you ever did ranks infinitely higher than the actual number of years you’ve racked up. You’re doing good work, stick with it and by the time you’re my age, you’ll feel half of it! ;)


    May 9, 2013

    I graduated in 1991 and will be old in November.

    Elle Noel

    May 9, 2013

    Age is just a number, it’s all about how you feel!

    Robyn Peplow Thorp

    May 9, 2013

    I wish I was as “old” as you now! I’m approaching 50 in 1.5 years! FYI…I had my babies in 1992 and 1994!!!! Yikes!

    But like you….I can do things now that I couldn’t do 20 years ago! Last summer I completed The Warrior Dash….In 2010 I became certified and now teach Les Mills Body Pump and …..all this while I also battled Breast Cancer twice in the last 5 years. “I am a strong woman…hear me ROAR”!

    I am 2 years cancer free….and I am not at my goal weight by any means. With the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on over the last 5 years, I have been struggling…but the one constant in my life is my exercise! I have a core group of friends (all in our 40s) that are self-proclaimed gym rats! Most of us do BodyPump 2-3 times a week and often meet up for other cardio type classes as well. It’s our way of socializing!

    Thanks for your inspiration! Keep up the great work!

      Irene @ IZO Fitness

      May 9, 2013

      I am 15 years cancer free (diagnosed when I was 23 years old).


    May 9, 2013

    Class of ’94 HOLLA!!

    I know exactly what you mean. When my son, J, turned 10 in April I was teary eyed because I was old enough to have a 10 year old, LOL!

    Diana Schnuth

    May 9, 2013

    Class of ’94, represent! :-)

    I turned 37 last month, and I decided that my mantra this year has to be from Monty Python: “I’m 37! I’m not old!”

    It’s also very odd that people younger than me have kids waaaaay older than my toddler. I just learned that a friend from the high school class after mine has a grandbaby?! Whaaa?


    May 9, 2013

    Congratulations on your PR!!!!!! Im the young one at my box but I love the fact that a lot of our members are older and come from different backgrounds because at the end of the day we can all WOD together and support each other. Crossfit is truly for EVERYBODY and I cant wait until more people realize that!


    May 9, 2013

    I just love everything you share…so many times it’s spot on to a similar experience I’ve had (minus the being fit and at a healthy weight!). But, I’m so inspired by all you do and know that I will get there. BTW, in my university job today, a student told me she felt SO OLD because she was 23, unlike her many 18-year-old classmates. Such a relative term!

    Connie Peters

    May 10, 2013

    Tell me about it, I’m 49 and everyone at work that sits near me are anywhere from 23 to 35 – ugh…..


    May 10, 2013

    I live in a retirement beach town area. You should come to my gym… I’m 47 and feel like a baby. All the women in my classes are 55-75 and they kick butt! They are in great shape. Many times I look over to see what size weights they are using and they have me beat!


    May 10, 2013

    “It’s a bit depressing to think about all the time I wasted…, but all that only propels me to grab more of life by the horns now.” — LOVE this.

    Fiona Jesse Giffords

    May 10, 2013

    Ugh. There is nothing like age is the most important thing in life. Sometime a person with more age beats you with his fitness and energy level.


    May 10, 2013

    I’m 33 …most days I still feel like I’m 16!?!?


    May 10, 2013

    Right there with you! I graduated in ’94 as well and I xray kids that were BORN in ’94 and think WHOA YOU are WAY too TALL and grown to be born in ’94! lol Of course they arent but I think they should only be like 4 not 18-19!!!!


    May 10, 2013

    Roni-You probably LOOK a lot younger than those guys cuz you’re in great shape/health. A friend of ours got married last weekend and we saw picts of high school friends at the wedding. Boy, they sure looked old and out of shape. Made me happy that I workout as much as I do after seeing that.

    Karen Cleary

    May 10, 2013

    Amen, sister! I can tell you that the view from 41 is even better (although the 28 year olds start to seem like “kids”… Yikes). If you can combine fitness, balance, AND a little wisdom of age… There is no limit to what you can do!


    May 11, 2013

    I am 45. It’s important to stay physically in shape as long as possible, for the sake of one’s physical, emotional, and mental health. That said, I think the best way to age is to cultivate good relationships.

    Nicole L.

    May 13, 2013

    Love this post though it did make me laugh! I’m 29, about to hit the big 3-0 in August and my boyfriend is 37 lol If you met him you’d never guess he’s that much older than me!


    May 15, 2013

    I will turn 50 this summer and I still feel (and act, unfortunately) like I’m in my 20s. Just enjoy whatever age you are.