One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident


I’m Responsibly Selfish

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I’m also … flexibly consistent and non-obsessively determined.

That’s how I would now describe myself.

Today I woke up to this.


So NOT how I wanted to start the week. Especially at the end of March. Ugh. Needless to say, school was closed and our entire morning routine was thrown for a loop. That meant no gym for me. The day care was opening 2 hours late and I got a call from the neighbor asking if I could watch her son as well.

YAY for hectic Mondays!

I kid, of course. It sucked. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are the only days I get a few hours to work without any kids, and starting off the week already behind is, well, poo-poo.  <–why yes, I do have a toddler. How can you tell?

Anyway, what are ya going to do?

I had to regroup and figure out a new schedule for the day.

The gym has classes in the afternoon but normally between dinner, lacrosse practice, and The Husband’s Paddle Tennis, evenings are out for mommy time. That’s why I go first thing in the morning. Less conflict and I’m guaranteed (most days) to get my run or classes in.

Today, however, all evening activities were canceled as well, which opened the door for me to swap my morning class for an afternoon one.  I mentioned it to The Husband and we figured out a new flow for the afternoon.

That left dinner. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), I’m the only cook in the house, so all meal decisions fall within my realm.

Queue the crock pot!

I looked in the pantry and had everything I needed for Simple Chicken and Oat Stew with Northern Beans. (Click here for the recipe.)

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

I was psyched for a warm bowl of yummy goodness when I got back from the gym. Nothing like having dinner ready for you when you walk through the door, and since I married a non-cook, this is the closest I’m ever gonna get.

I’m happy to say it all worked out and I got my gym time in. On my drive home I realized while I was there I didn’t think about anything else. I didn’t worry about the kids, dinner, my inbox, my phone, the conference, anything. Honestly, I even forgot how late it was! I was just in the moment, doing my thing and spending much needed time on ME. Novel idea for a mom, right?

It’s my responsible selfishness, flexible consistency, and non-obsessive determination that helps me make that happen almost daily.

Responsibly Selfish

I no longer feel guilty for insisting on “me” time, but there are ways to do it while considering others’ needs as well. I couldn’t leave my husband in a lurch this morning just to go to the gym — that would have been selfish. Instead I worked with him and found a different way to make it happen while still taking care of my responsibilities. It is a balancing act but it is possible to care for others AND yourself.

Flexibly Consistent

I’ve blogged about this before (click here,) it’s a mindset I’ve worked very hard to master, similar to the “do what you can when you can” mentality. Just because things aren’t perfect doesn’t mean you walk away and give up. This is how I battle the deadly perfection mentality.

Non-Obsessively Determined

I was determined to get my workout in today, but you know what, if it didn’t happen that would have been OK, too. I’d just start my routine back up tomorrow (Hello Flexible Consistency!) Being determined is a great thing until you’re so obsessed it affects other areas of your life. I like to go to the gym, but it’s not the end of the world if sometimes, life gets in the way because you know what? It will.

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There are 6 comments so far.

    Julie Long Donahue

    March 25, 2013

    “Responsibly selfish”…..I like that! Great philosophy!

    sheetal pramod

    March 25, 2013

    Wow! I have been so thinking of this and battling-cause I put myself on the back burner,always! Thanks for sharing this :)


    March 26, 2013

    This post reminded me that I shouldn’t give up so easily! A snow day (which we have had A LOT of this year in MN) or any break from the norm, totally throws me. Like right now…it’s spring break, I haven’t yet gone to the Y (which is my norm after I drop my daughter at school), the kids are still in their jammies, & although I’m ready, I’m procrastinating making it happen. Maybe I need to stay at home & dance around my living room:)
    Thanks for the inspiration Roni!

    Kaki Bennett

    March 26, 2013

    I like to say that I am consistently inconsistent. I’m right brained, global, and yet tend to be a perfectionist. Those things don’t always go together…


    March 27, 2013

    I love how you said poo-poo and Winner Winner Chicken Dinner…two of my favorite words/phrases! You know what I most enjoyed about the post…how you communicated with your husband and each made compromises. That’s the beauty of a great supportive relationship. My husband and I have our moments, as I am sure all relationships do, but recently he has been sooo supportive and complimentary of my efforts. He has lost about 20# himself and it is so nice to do this together without really nagging each other. He travels a lot and internationally for his job and he will send me pictures of his dinners or lunches and will say ‘you would be so proud of me…I ordered mushroom risotto and baked cauliflower.’ Yes I am proud he makes better choices now … but I am also a little jealous of his adventurous cuisine in Russia, Spain and England. hehe

    Jon Kidwell

    March 27, 2013

    I think you are so right about being “responsibly selfish”. If we give in or appease everyone all the time and never take care of ourselves is when we lose yourselves and usually lose a grasp on our health.

    I also like how you said get it in when you can. 2 miles may not be 5 miles, but it is better than 0. Thanks for the post!