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If you’ve been following my food journals on MFP I have a confession. Friday’s, Saturday’s and Sunday’s were not accurate. I started each day with the best intentions. Motivated. Ready to make healthy choices.
But then something happened. Something that used to happen way more frequently then it does now.
I got stuck in the screw-today-I’ll-start-over-tomorrow mindset.
It started Friday when I got depressed about my lower back pain. Then Saturday we went out and I just didn’t feel like tracking past dinner even though we had ice cream and chocolate. And yesterday? Ugh. Yesterday was the worst. I pretty much binged on cheese, homemade nachos and cinnamon cookies after entering the day’s food journal. I wasn’t even hungry. I just wanted to eat.
Why? Why? WHY?
Ugh. If I really psychoanalyze myself, I think it’s the combination of anger about my back, anxiety about the Tough Mudder contest (I wasn’t lying, it’s scaring the crap out of me!) stress about the conference, uncertainty about a few business decisions I have lingering over my head, the every day JOYS of raising a grade-schooler and toddler, and, oh, I don’t know, hormones. On top of it all, I haven’t really been feeling 100% lately. Physically. I’ve had a cough lingering for almost a month now and I’m just so darn tired.
Thankfully I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to help sort a few things out about my back and cough. Everything else I just need to deal with without turning to food, which STILL seems to my coping mechanism of choice after all these years.
However, there is a big difference between me “now” and me “then.” Now I don’t let these feeling fester too long without dealing with them. I don’t throw my hands up and completely surrender. I still wake up every day and do my best without guilt or shame about the day before. So I ate some nachos and chocolate. Whoopty Freakin’ Doo. It’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean I failed. It means I ate some nachos and chocolate.
Once you adopt that attitude it’s so easy to recover. I remember a time when a weekend like this would set me back weeks if not months and at least a 25-pound gain until I got motivated to give it another whirl. Now I’m back in the saddle immediately because I never fell off the horse. We just took a wrong turn and I had to get us back on the right track.
Phew! I feel so much better already. See, I just needed to get it all out of my head. I had a great day chipping away at the old to-do list while procrastinating on facebook.
OK, I’m gonna go. For those interested today’s food journal IS accurate and my kitchen is now cleaned and closed.
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I’ve been doing this a looong time…