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This post was written with tears streaming down my face so lets just get that out of the way now.

FitBloggin’12 was nothing short of amazing. I don’t even know where to begin. The last 5 days are a complete blur.

You know what?

I can’t even recap. I just can’t. My brain is mush. I’m an emotional mess. I’m humbled and honored, overwhelmed and and even anxious, in a weird way.

For 3 days I was on the verge of tears. I want to tell you why but it’s so hard to put into words. I held myself together, allowing only my eyes to well, while watching reunions, first time in-person hugs, people going out of their comfort zones, trying new things, experiencing new things, and being truly themselves all in a supportive, welcoming, accepting environment.

And I did hold it together, for the most part. Thankfully I was distracted by all the logistics of actually running the conference! I was too busy to take it all in, until this morning.

That’s when I saw Robby holding this sign after the 5k…

(She was holding it for the Reebok photo booth but I can’t find the actual photo) :(

I lost it.

Tears flowing.

Hard to breathe.

Everything hit me in that moment.

That sign.

That message.

I feel like it’s something I’m teaching and learning all at the same time.

I picked up the sign, found her and all the emotions of the last 3 days just. came. out.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer.

So many people have been thanking me for organizing the conference but they have it wrong.

I need to thank them.

I can’t do what I’m doing without their support or yours! I feel honored and grateful that I am able blog and bring such a community of supportive people together.

I have to admit.

I don’t feel worthy.

I’m not sure where the self-doubt and insecurity comes from. Thankfully, it’s not crippling. I no longer need to feed it by binging on obscene amounts of food just so I feel a sense of fullness instead of the self-induced loneliness.

Instead, I ignore the negative inner voice and move forward despite it. I have taken baby steps that have not only helped me to reach my own weight loss goals but have literally changed my body, my health, my relationships, my career, and my life.

It’s so overwhelming to even think about right now.

So I’m not. :)

Instead I’ll share this photo…

The Husband had an Edible Arrangement sent to the house this afternoon. The card…

How nice was that?!

I spent my Sensational Sunday playing with my kids, napping and being fed strawberries by this Little Guy…

I also added some new inspiration to my office wall…

Note: I’m note sure who wrote the "If I don’t start, I can’t finish!" banner but when I saw it I had to grab it. It captures how I felt at that very moment about the conference and, well, all my accomplishments.

I promise to share more about the conference without getting so deep or emotional. In the mean time you may want to check out these links….

I need to end this post with my expression of gratitude. As I said, so many thanked me and I need to thank so many. So here goes my Emmy’s style thank you.. :)

  • Thank you Mom for always being my hero. I wouldn’t be here (literally and figuratively) if it wasn’t for you.
  • Thank you Jen for always being there for me. You support me in so many ways that I can’t even explain.
  • Thank you Erin for the amazing work. This year would not have happened without you.
  • Thank you Carrie for being so much more than a photographer and allowing me to take over your house for 2 months.
  • Thank you Jimmy for allowing me not to worry about the 5k or the Swag.
  • Thank you Carla for thinking of me when I was too busy to think of you. I’m sorry.
  • Thank you April, Bill and Miko for just being SO AWESOME.
  • Thank you Sammy for all the help you didn’t think you gave.
  • Thank you Carmen for stepping up and being there for me. Oh! and dealing with my teams craziness.
  • Thank you Bob and Terri for watching the boys during the madness.
  • Thank you Bill for, well, everything. You always support me and I’m so thankful I have you to experience this world with. Oh! and your welcome for the 2 days off work, quiet hotel room and long mornings. ;)
  • OMG I could do this all day! There are just so many people who have supported me and this conference. Thank you everyone who came, spoke, volunteered, and supported the conference this year (including the sponsors!) There are literally too many of you to list! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
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  • http://www.stevegrayftw.com Steve

    Words really can’t describe just how many wonderful things , and how much awesome went down this weekend. You, and everyone else involved, did an AMAZING job.

    It wasn’t even just about hanging out with friends and learning about blogging. Some amazing, truly life changing stuff went down here. I’m in total awe of all of it, and you made that possible. :)

  • http://fatgirlvsworld.blogspot.com Robby

    Roni — I’m so honored that I had the words you needed, and more importantly, I am glad I was able to comfort you with a big hug. (p.s. I’ll always have a hug at the ready for you :) )

    It’s been the hardest lesson for me with having a body that’s injured — how can I honor my body when my relationship with it feels so adversarial?

    I can only hope that if the answer to that question doesn’t come to me when I wake up, that by the time I am back in bed that I’ve figured out how to honor my body in some way. If not, I’ll try again tomorrow.

    Because my body has earned the respect. I’ve ignored and abused it, I’ve scrutinized it, I’ve blamed it, I’ve shamed it. It’s exhausting. It really is.

    I’ve never regretted the big and small ways I’ve chosen to honor my body — by moving it with grace and humor, by fueling it with nutritious food, by treating it with compassion and care (even if it involves pain medication and an ice pack).

    Roni, truly you’re a superstar and I’m so thankful that you’ve found a way to bring us together year after year.

  • http://www.sweatinguntilhappy.com Alan Ali

    Roni,

    You are amazing and I adore you! This event, this community, these ppl including you have changed my life forever. I remember last year at the event I was scared out of my mind, I was scared nobody would accept or speak to me. Of course when I left I no longer felt like that. This year I had no fears, I felt so comfortable in my skin, I actually couldnt believe that I was so comfortable and even going out of my way to introduce myself to people I have never met before. I even spoke about my weightloss story in front of everyone at Tara and Meegans sessions….. That for me was HUGE! I have never in my life spoken about my past to people in real life let alone to that many people. I have always been afraid of public speaking but I still did and between me and you it felt AMAZING. This is a very powerful community, peoples lives are being changed, people are being inspired. Thank you do much for making all of this possible. Can’t wait for Portland :-)

  • http://www.thedailymel.com Melissa (@TheDailyMel)

    Roni,

    Please please please know just how much FitBloggin’ means to this community, even for those of us who weren’t able to make it this year. While I’ve had the joy of experiencing FitBloggin’ in person in the past, I was still shocked and amazed by just HOW MUCH I got out it again this year following along from home. Reading the Live Blog recap from both the Self Acceptance and When You Have a Lot to Lose discussion groups literally brought me to tears. I have so many things I want to work on now! I feel totally energized and motivated again not only to blog more frequently, but also with moving forward on my journey to weight loss and better health. I can’t wait to see you and everyone else in Portland for FitBloggin’13!!

  • http://www.redstar5.com/blog Meegan

    Roni – It’s 6:30 in the morning and Tara and I just woke up and were reading through some of the ENORMOUS FitBloggin love fest going on. I feel so very blessed to have been there and to be a part of this community. That sign with the red star is the one I wrote. It made me cry to see it on your inspiration wall. But that is my universal truth. If I don’t keep stepping up to those start lines I won’t ever find myself at the finish.

    You and your team are incredible. Thank you for organizing a virtually seem less weekend of awesome. So much love from Tara and I.

  • http://ronisweigh.com roni

    OMG the Red Star! How did I NOT put that together?!? lol Thank You Meegan. Thank you.

  • http://learnfitness.com/ Sean @ Learn Fitness

    Thank you Roni for taking the time and putting all of your energy into making Fitbloggin ’12 happen. I can’t imagine the stress or emotions required to make it all happen and come together so seamlessly. You’ve been able to bring together a community of people that are so amazingly strong and supportive. The emotions and energy shared this weekend will help to propel so many people to new levels they never thought possible. From tears shed to aha moments, we were all in the presence or a truly inspirational event this past weekend.

    Thanks to you, your family, friends, and sponsors for making it all happen.

  • http://www.lowfatpie.com/blog/ Renée (@pinkypie)

    Roni you are so deserving of the gratitude, seriously. You bring us closer and closer together every day and, for me anyway, there was definitely a life change this weekend. I honestly didn’t know how I would feel about coming afterwards, if I was making a mistake, but it couldn’t be any further from the truth. The connections that you facilitated were life changing I’m sure for everyone who attended. xxx

  • http://successalongtheweigh.blogspot.com/ Anele @ Success Along the Weigh

    Sounds like a resounding success. I hope to make it to one, one day!

  • Debbie

    could not make it this year :’(
    please share next years info asap
    so I can plan on it for Next year !!

    I want to go and I need to go

    Thank you for all you do for all of us
    Deb

  • http://www.wifeyandmommy.com Jami

    I wasn’t even there and I’m in tears reading this. You rock Roni!

  • http://kclanderson.com KCLAnderson (Karen)

    It never ceases to amaze me that we all (ALL) have those “I’m not enough” feelings. The doubt and insecurity plagues us all…and you are brave enough to do it anyway, to put yourself out there and CREATE this event as you go…to create your life. To me, you are a great example of this quote: “If you can see your life laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” ~ Joseph Campbell

    I find it so very hard to connect in a meaningful way during the event, especially when I know you are being pulled in so many directions at once, but please know that you are indeed worthy of all of this and more. Thank you.

  • Ana Myre

    I feel the same way as Jami comment, some day Hopefully will be able to attend.

  • Kathy

    OK, so Fitbloggin’ west next year, riiiiiight?!
    I want to go an experience all of this fabulousness!

  • http://www.slim-shoppin.com Jenn@slim-shoppin

    So happy it all went well, I knew it would for you Roni! Wish I could have been there!

  • Janet

    I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago and wanted you to know that what you wrote below speaks volumes to me. I am really struggling with binge eating and your words let me know that it can be conquered. Thank you!

    “I’m not sure where the self-doubt and insecurity comes from. Thankfully, it’s not crippling. I no longer need to feed it by binging on obscene amounts of food just so I feel a sense of fullness instead of the self-induced loneliness.”

  • http://www.shrinkingsisters.com Gail

    … and thank you for organizing the whole crazy love fest (and that gin & tonic). Like I told you in Baltimore, Fitbloggin’ is 1,000 times more useful than that other monstrous blogging conference, and more fun. Next year in Portland for sure!

  • http://poiseinparma.com Alicia Hansen

    Thank you. I keep saying this, but I mean it every time.
    Thank you for bringing us all together.
    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to stand in front of people and feel alive again.
    Thank you for reminding me that we’re all not alone in all this.

    Here’s hoping Portland is in my future for 2013… you’ve got me hooked!

  • http:www/enjoyingthislife.com Patty

    Roni I heart you so much! You are the most genuine, beautiful, smart and friendly person I know. Thank you so much for putting FitBloggin together. I really needed to be surrounded by all the awesome folks who blog in our community. The whole weekend was amazing.

    I’m so excited about Portland and I think I snagged my sister into going as well. She’s not a blogger but she really loved hearing about the wonderful people of FitBloggin.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart! xoxo

  • Pat B.

    Roni, thank you, thank you, thank you for getting rid of the annoying banner ads. Now I can read your words again.
    I’m glad your conference was such a success.

    • RoniNoone

      You are welcome. Sometimes they get agressive. Just give me a heads up. I don’t have control over all campaigns before they run.

  • Pat B.

    Roni, thank you, thank you, thank you for getting rid of the annoying banner ads. Now I can read your words again.
    I’m glad your conference was such a success.

    • RoniNoone

      You are welcome. Sometimes they get agressive. Just give me a heads up. I don’t have control over all campaigns before they run.

  • Denise Fears

    I LOVE edible arrangements! They are delicious!

  • Denise Fears

    I LOVE edible arrangements! They are delicious!

  • Leslie

    Could anyone run the 5K or was it only fitbloggin’ attendees? If it’s anyone, I may have to try to run next year!

    • RoniNoone

      It’s really for attendees but other are welcome if they can’t make the entire event.

  • Leslie

    Could anyone run the 5K or was it only fitbloggin’ attendees? If it’s anyone, I may have to try to run next year!

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