One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

Why aren’t YOU?!

23 Comments 2245 views

Weekly QuestionI know I’ve been slacking on The Questions of the Week and I’m sorry. They are the type of posts I can’t force.

Yesterday Amanda left this comment on my Color Run Recap Video

You do so many cool things!

And I immediately thought to myself…

Why aren’t YOU?!

Now, I’m not singling Amanda out here. I’m asking across the board to everyone, including my younger self. Why don’t you do more cool things?

When I look back at my 20s I cringe. There I was, childless, minimal responsibilities, a good paying job. I was so lucky yet not taking advantage of my situation.

Today, I’m still lucky, but now I’m also aware.

Aware that my body can do wonderful things! I can run and jump and play and get dirty.

Aware that no one cares how I look in a bathing suit but me, and if they do THEY are the ones with the problem.

Aware that my time on this earth is limited and I better take full advantage of the little time I am given.

Aware that when you take care of yourself having fun is more FUN!

Aware that there are so many more exciting things to do than go to dinner and see a movie.

Aware that it’s my insecurities that hold me back. Everything else is simply an excuse.

Of course I’m coming up with these based on my experience. I spent my 20s not doing too much of anything because I didn’t like the body I was in. I didn’t swim because I didn’t want to put on a bathing suit. I didn’t run because I didn’t have the confidence to try. I didn’t take care of myself because I was too preoccupied with being thin. All I ever did for fun was eat and sit. <-- being REAL honest here. I've worked hard these last 7 years to not only lose weight but to find myself, to experience things and to, well, LIVE! So I'm really asking. This is NOT a rhetorical question. Why Aren’t you doing the “cool things” YOU want to do?



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Discussion

There are 23 comments so far.

    Jenny

    July 9, 2012

    I think once my baby gets a bit older it will be easier. He is pretty much a full on responsibility 24/7. My 4 year old pretty much raises herself. Between work for me, work for my spouse, laundry, meals, cleaning…I don’t have a spare moment! I keep telling myself, “I will run again, I will run again, this is not forever!”

    Lisa

    July 9, 2012

    I ask myself this question a lot…I have wanted to do a sprint tri for YEARS. What is keeping me from doing it? What is holding me back? WHY won’t I just do it?!?

    Stephanie

    July 9, 2012

    I think a big thing for people including myself is a fear of failure. Once you get over that, you can do just about anything. I did my first 5k this year, I didnt make incredible time (40min), but I did it in the rain and snow, we walked and jogged, but it felt great to finish. Now I am signed up for the Warrior Dash, I thought “What if I cant get through the obstacles?”, and I decided, who cares…go around it and keep running and trying. There is something about being 30 that has changed my life. I just dont care what other people think AS much. Losing weight and having a child these last few years has given me confidence and I think that is what allows me to do fun things :-)

    Every Monday/Wednesday before I go to CrossFit I get these butterflies in my stomach, like maybe I won’t be able to handle the workout that is awaiting me. But, lately, I’ve been focusing on how much I want to develop some muscle and not just rely on running/cardio to help with my weight loss progress.

    Recently, I’ve been trying to combat my negative thinking with the thought, “What IF I try and I’m able to handle it and I actually start to get stronger?” rather than focusing on “What if I can’t handle it?”

    I know that I have been my own worst enemy when it comes to trying something new. I have this irrational thought process where I think that everyone else will take to it like a pro and I’ll be the odd person out, who just doesn’t catch on and gets left behind in the process.

    Right now, in CrossFit, I don’t have the best time but I am trying and I am getting stronger/better, every time, I think. It helps that the trainers are extremely encouraging, supportive, and understanding. Every time that I leave the “box” feeling dead, like I’ve given everything that I had in me, it goes hand in hand with the feeling that I’ve truly left as a better version of myself than when I went in. I describe it, rather oddly, as “it’s like my face is on fire, but in a good way!”

    It’s the same way with weight loss – I’m slowly getting out of my own way and not getting bogged down in the thinking that “this is just who I am”. No, I am meant to be strong, healthy, fit, and in charge of my health!

    I’m still a bit nervous about tonight’s class. I always am. But the difference is, that I’m leaving in a half hour, and I’m going to do the workout, anyway. Time after time, I am proving to myself that “you can’t do this” is just a lie that I don’t have to believe!

    Thanks for this post, Roni! As always, it is very thought-provoking!

    Lyn @ Life Lyn Style

    July 9, 2012

    I love this post! Thanks for being so honest.

    amanda a

    July 9, 2012

    Aww i love how you really take the time to read everything we put on here. That’s a good question…my answer is i don’t have the energy too. my weight and health holds me back…guess what I’m saying is its time to get off my butt and lose weight and start living my life! Your post is always eye opening! Thank you :)

    dani

    July 10, 2012

    Very good question!!! glad that you asked! I have alot of excuses usually my kids etc, but I know I cannot let that stop me, that should motivate me to be even more active! :-)

    Heather

    July 10, 2012

    Totally with you on this! I feel like I wasted my twenties and now I’m getting in better shape all while having fun. I’m actually in the August issue of Prevention because I went outside my comfort zone. I still have weight to lose and it’s a constant struggle but it’s better than the alternative. Love your blog. We have a lot in common.

    I am at a point where I am about 40 lbs from being able to do things that I physically can’t do because weight limits on the activity (ie- ziplining, parasailing, etc) It’s seriously frustrating because I’ve been bouncing with the same 10 lbs for 6 months. I am NOT at a place where I want to settle for where I am. I am training to do stand up paddle next year on Kauai and I’m going to do it whether I’m thinner or my current weight. I’m going to do things that I am mentally blocking myself on because I already have too many things that (right now) I physically can’t do. You can bet I’ll do those too when the time comes! I don’t care if it’s winter, the Mr said we’ll hop a plane and go somewhere warm to zipline. :)

    Candice

    July 10, 2012

    Perfect timing. As I have experienced my 30’s they are far more healthy and adventurous than my 20’s. Fixing do do a Run-Yak. Which is a combo 5k and kayak race. I’m very excited to try!

    Michelle McCright

    July 10, 2012

    I think for me it is fear of failing. I would love to run but I am afraid at my size I will get hurt. I could go on from there but it is simply a fear of failing and a fear of what other people may think. I know I am not supposed to care about that but that is a struggle for me that I have yet to overcome. I have wasted most of my life with this fear and somehow I need to overcome it. It would be nice if there was a magic pill or drink for that.

    KarenJ

    July 10, 2012

    It’s not just about being physically active. That’s just one aspect of life, but I think what Roni is trying to say is that when you stop focusing on food, you can make the time to do things that are fun and stimulating. This can be different for everyone. Anyone can “get a life.” You don’t have to be at goal weight to do that. As far as the physical, for some people, walking a block is a challenge. Start from where you are.

    Andrea

    July 10, 2012

    Yeah Roni! I love it when you turn the tables on us.

    Mary

    July 10, 2012

    I think I’ve lived my life in fear of what others think…which shaped me into responding to chances with a “why” mentality. As in why should I? This year, my family left the brick and mortar, bought a camper, and are traveling the U S. Sometimes people ask me why? My typical reaponse is “why not?”

    Thats how I’m trying to tackle my life….with a why not sorta attitude!

    sabrina

    July 10, 2012

    I hold myself back from doing things because I’m afraid of failing. If you don’t try then you can’t fail and you can’t let anyone down. It’s stupid and I wish I could stop thinking like this.

    andrea @ milkshakable

    July 10, 2012

    This is such a timely post for me — I’ve been asking myself the same question lately. A friend of mine passed away very suddenly last week, and it really hammered home, for me, the idea that none of us — NONE OF US — are promised another day. There is NO point at getting to the end of your life and saying — “Well, I didn’t get to do a lot of things I wanted to, but at least my butt never jiggled excessively in front of anyone!” I mean REALLY. It’s SO ridiculous when you think about it like that. Thanks for another one of your always inspiring posts, Roni! :)

    Patty

    July 10, 2012

    I am getting there Roni and I owe a lot of that inspiration to you. 2012 has kicked my but with deaths, break-up, I ended my blog and now upcoming surgery. But you know what I gave myself one week to mope about this latest challenge and while I’m still scared for what’s to come I’m taking advantage of the time before surgery I have left and went back to my workouts and healthy eating. I have two weeks to do something cool for me and I’m doing it. And I’m making lists of cool things to do when I’m all healed. So thank you…once again for being an inspiration.

    Jen

    July 10, 2012

    This post is so right on spot for me. I am 34 and have a 19 month old baby. I wonder to myself all the time- what the heck did I do on a day off before she came into my life? I love her beyond measure but she does take up a serious lot of time. I am making it a goal of mine to still try new things and have fun! (: I mean though I REALLY WONDER what the heck I did with time before her? LOL.

      kalibrooke

      September 28, 2012

      I’m 34 with a 19-month-old as well! I’m currently in the worst shape of my life, partially because I didn’t realize how often I was being active before I had other responsibilities, partially because quitting breastfeeding piled on the pounds (MUCH more than I anticipated), and partially because I’m no longer 22…not sure about your experience, but I’m taking this post as a reality check that I need to remember to take care of myself!

    Tanya

    July 10, 2012

    I am! Thanks for this post. It reinforces the transition I’ve been going through for a few years now. I live my life instead of imagining what life could be like :)

    *I swim now because I love it (no swimsuit holding me back).
    *I play outside with my daughter because it’s fun.
    *I tried personal training!
    *I cleaned my car this morning because I felt like it….

    Betty

    July 10, 2012

    That’s a good question. Sometimes when I’m seeing something amazing on t.v. or hear a story about how someone accomplished something for their “age”, I’m always overcome with the guilt that I should be doing something. My friend Emily, who’s been trying to lose weight for years has recently gone full out and even started a blog about it http://gettingfit12.blogspot.com/
    She is motivational to me because even though no one reads her blog but me (Hopefully she will receive more readers/comments soon!) she still does it because she’s determined. Her determination inspires me to do all the things I hope to do in life.

    -Betty

    I had four daughters in my twenties. I was way to busy to even think of myself. Today, at 45, I have run 5 half marathons, 10 milers, a mud run and several trail 10ks. I understand some of the other comments about waiting for their young ones to get a little older. I wish I had taken time for myself then, but it is never too late!! Great post Roni!

    Catherine

    July 12, 2012

    I think you just inspired me to NOT waste my 20’s. Thanks so much!