One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

WEEKLY QUESTIONS

What AREN’T you doing … ?

31 Comments 2690 views

Weekly Question

This week I want to try and get some of you out of your comfort zone and self analyzing a little. Don’t leave a comment if you aren’t comfortable but ponder, contemplate and do some soul searching.

Ok, ready?

Here goes…

What AREN’T you

doing,
experiencing,
trying,
achieving,
enjoying,
wearing,
feeling,
accomplishing,

that you want to be

doing,
experiencing,
trying,
achieving,
enjoying,
wearing,
feeling,
accomplishing,

simply because you don’t like the body you are in?



Leave a comment

I’d love to hear your story or thoughts on mine.

However, to prevent the massive amounts of spam I was receiving I have turned off comments on any post older than 5 days old. If you'd like to leave me a note regarding this post or anything really try me on twitter (@RoniNoone,) my Facebook page, or even IG (@RoniNoone) I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. I never thought I'd have to do this but it's gotten way out of hand and comment management has become simply too time consuming to manage.

Discussion

There are 31 comments so far.

    Robin

    February 24, 2012

    I know there’s more, but the first thing I thought of was that I’m not wearing the clothes that I want to be wearing. I almost stopped in a clothing store tonight but stopped myself because I figured there was no point :(

    Lala

    February 24, 2012

    First, I guess I should say that I’m about 20-30 pounds more than I’d like to weigh, but I have gained that gradually during 18 months and my body has changed from what used to be a fairly fit body into a flabby one. I’m struggling with why and how I got to this place and with how it makes me feel.
    I am a 19 year old college student. I am not comfortable in most of clothes, and stick to jeans and long shirts when all my friends are in short skirts and small tops. Getting ready to go out is no longer fun because I have to find something that covers all the body parts I am no longer happy with.
    When I spend time with my boyfriend, I often think about whether or not he has noticed the weight gain and find it difficult to enjoy time with him and feel like his compliments are fake.
    I turn down invitations to go to the beach because I am embarrased about putting on a bikini. I say no to shopping because I don’t want to have to admit that my clothes are not as flattering as they once were and that it may be time to buy a bigger size. I constantly think about how much happier I’d be if I was thin and didn’t have to worry about it, even though I know its my self-image that is holding me back. My body isn’t stopping me from going to the beach. Its the thought of a bikini or the embarrassment of a 1 piece that is.
    Instead of trying new things and being adventurous, I find myself sticking to patterns when I should be breaking out of these patterns to get back to my old self.

    Robyn

    February 24, 2012

    I have definitely been avoiding the beach the past few years. I am down about 13 pounds since I began my journey, which I have to admit has been a loooongg one, but I am halfway to my goal and very excited about getting some sun this summer! I’ve also been avoiding wearing any sort of dress, skirt or pair of shorts in front of anyone because I’m more insecure about my legs than any other body part. But again, I’m starting to feel more confidant and positive about bearing my gams in public and not caring what other people think. I know I’ve been thinking about all this lately since I’ve actually been losing weight, but I have to say Roni.. you’ve made these goals more likely to come into actuality and I’m that much more excited! I hope you all find happiness in the things you want to be doing, experiencing, trying, achieving, enjoying, wearing, feeling, & accomplishing!

    sabrina

    February 24, 2012

    Im not doing the things i want to be doing with my children because i dont like my body

    Mehgann

    February 24, 2012

    I’m not dating. It’s partially because I haven’t met anyone that I have any interest in in the last few years, but it’s also partially because I haven’t tried due to my discomfort with my own body.

    I’m not accepting a compliment without immediately dismissing it in my head because of course they couldn’t have meant it.

    Sam

    February 24, 2012

    I could write a book about this if I really wanted to. There are SO MANY things I do not do because of my weight. I dress frumpy when I would love to wear more trendy clothes. I keep my opinions to myself because I don’t feel important or worthy. I miss out on fun with my boys because I don’t want people to see me in a bathing suit, they both love to swim. I really want a new job but I do horrible at interviews because I am so self conscious and worried what others think, so I stay at a job I hate. I also hide ALL of this and pretend like nothing is wrong. BUT that said, I am working on making it better.

    JenS

    February 24, 2012

    No being in photos with my family during important events/vacations…sad but true. If you look back thru our photos you would not even know I was around…but thats going to end this year! :)

    JenS

    February 24, 2012

    I guess I need more coffee this AM–I mean Not being in photos!

    Sar

    February 24, 2012

    I have a lot of BIG plans for what I am going to do once I lose weight (10pounds down 60pounds to go). I don’t like to go shopping, I don’t like to go places and I DO NOT like being the centre of attention. When I do go places I either regret having gone there because I don’t feel good about myself OR I spend the whole time looking at the skinny girls thinking if only I looked like them I would be so much happier.
    I gained weight after my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was such a difficult time and I used food to attempt to make me feel better. She has sucessfully beat cancer and is doing so well.
    I drive my husband crazy because since I have gained this weight I hate everything about the way I look. I know hate is a strong word but it is true. As a result, I have been trying to focus more on making myself emotionally healthier because I figure if I can stop beating myself up and accept that I am the way I am (and that is okay) the weight will come off.

    Mehgann

    February 24, 2012

    Hi Sam,

    I would love to offer you a small amount of advice on this (not that I’m perfect either…see above). I really think you should buy some nice, trendy clothes in your current size and not wait until you lose the weight. There are some feelings you can’t control, but there are many, MANY places that sell lovely plus-sized clothing these days, and believe me, if you feel good about the clothes you are wearing, it will go a long way to feeling better about your body. I struggle with body image, don’t get me wrong, but since I got out of the rut of wearing ugly, tent like clothes, I do find that I feel better about the way I look, whether I’m 230 lbs or 130 lbs. And I do tend to get a LOT of compliments about my trendy style, if I do say so myself. (I still feel fat, but it does help) Anyway, good luck!!!

    Rhiannon

    February 24, 2012

    Thank you Roni. This question really made me stop and think and helped me solidify some of the thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head the last few days.

    For me my body’s weight and looks aren’t much of a problem, but my health and fitness (or rather lack of) are. Couple that with moving to a new city, being stuck in the house-hunting and job-hunting nightmare and trying to adapt to a totally new lifestyle… I’m just not doing anywhere near as much as I’d like to of everything. That statement excludes driving around looking at houses!

    But! I get my packed boxes etc delivered in a couple days to my temporary address, so I’ll have access to my running shoes, rock climbing gear and my couple pieces of fitness equipment, and I’m really looking forward to getting back into some sort of exercise. There’s lots of beaches here so sand running and swimming are definitely likely, and there’s a fairly cheap (money is tight) rock climbing gym close-ish. I can’t wait! I’m also hoping gardening may be an option, depending on the landlord when we get a rental property.

    I’m also trying to get out there and find activities where I can meet people and really settle in here. I guess it’s all just so much at the moment that it’s overwhelming. But I’m trying to keep my chin up about it all :) Thanks again.

    Tina

    February 24, 2012

    Roni, thank you for post today. So many things. I’m 20 lbs away from goal. I am not going with my sister (who needs me right now) to Hawaii because I’m embarrassed of my “thunder thighs” and how they’ll look in a bathing suit and don’t want to ruin her holiday with my insecurities. I’m too ashamed to express that to her – so she must think I’m a shitty sister.

    Laura of Lauralovinglife

    February 24, 2012

    I had a lot more to say about this, so I posted it on my blog. You can click my name to see it if ya like. Suffice to say, some things I am feeling GREAT about, and some things I still need work on. :)

    dawn

    February 24, 2012

    SO I am living life as I would.

    Except in my head. The truth is, I have trouble moving away from the calorie counting, overeating, kicking myself, weighing myself (too much), feeling ashamed, cutting back, weighing 2 pounds less and beginning again dance. All this at 5 pounds from my goal! AND worst of all? All this for almost 10 years, if I am completely honest.

    In short, I’d really like to be where you are, Roni. Please make a list for me to follow! I am only half joking!

    Thanks for asking this.

    Sue R

    February 24, 2012

    Thanks! I really need to do this.

    Jennifer

    February 24, 2012

    I am not enjoying my life like I imagined I would after I lost weight. I’m back to my pre-baby size (10-12) but I don’t like the way I look. My kids love to swim at the pool but when I bring them I sit and watch – no bathing suit here. I have a fair bit of excess skin/flab in my mid-section that is not going anywhere – everything gives me muffin top, even underwear! I don’t like shopping for clothes because I am very disconnected with my size/appearance. Because I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t do things like get my hair or nails done – which only makes me look worse. Interesting to think about, really.

    Sophia

    February 24, 2012

    I’m not holding my head high or smiling while I walk. Its an uncomfortableness that nestles between wanting to be at the finish line, and not wanting to skip the joy of the process.

    There’s nothing about society that supports the process only the problem or the finish. Everything in between feels like a jail sentence.

    Its the most draining feeling ever….

    Jennifer

    February 25, 2012

    I am not wearing the smaller clothes I bought four months ago because I have gained 10 pounds. I need to LOSE those 10 pounds and more in order to get into those clothes and maybe even buy new, smaller ones. I am tired of my muffin top hanging over my jeans and NOT wearing smaller tops because I have to hide it. I want my jeans to feel comfortable and not tight.

    Roz@weightingfor50

    February 25, 2012

    Love this. I think I’m avoiding shopping for clothes that fit me today, because I’m waiting to buy clothes that fit TOMORROW. Not a good idea,time to get a new outfit that fits properly and makes me feel good TODAY. Thanks Roni!!!

    Jianna Gonzalez

    February 25, 2012

    Thanks for the information and knowledge.

    Jianna Gonzalez

    February 25, 2012

    Keep blogging.

    Kathleen

    February 25, 2012

    I’m not eating the way i should… there have been times that i eat until comfortable, eat more balanced, get my water in, do reasonable portions, etc and i have felt great. And i have seen the results of being sensible. Yet, for years now i’ve continued to eat whatever, whenever and expect those same results. I’ve decided i must start being mindful and quit thinking in the moment “oh who cares i’ll just oink out now and start tomorrow”. We all know tomorrow never comes, i have to make it happen and know I’m worth caring about.

    cheryl

    February 26, 2012

    I love my body-at almost 59 it is strong, lean, lithe, and agile. Oh- fast sometimes too. Especially in the water. I will do a sprint tri in my bathing suit. Comfortable enough with my “bod” to do so..and hard ass enough to not require any padding for 12-15 miles of a bike ride. heheh!

    cheryl

    February 26, 2012

    god there are a bunch of sad women out there…who knew. I was blissfully ignorant. Snap out of it ladies. Time’s a wasting and you aren’t getting any younger-who CARES what anyone else thinks about you. Do what you were meant to and do what you live. Go climb a mountain! It’s 2012! I feel like I am reading posts of women in the 50’s- wah wah wah.

    cheryl

    February 26, 2012

    LOVE (not live!) But DO LIVE…

    Jamie

    February 27, 2012

    To name a few…this is what I thought of when reading this

    1) Im self conscious about everything…Im shy, keep to myself, and don’t put myself out there for fear of being criticized or failing. I know because my self confidence is lacking

    2) Im 20 pounds heavier then I should be and have struggled with this for over a year now. I once was weight watchers at goal and after having Lincoln who is now 4 I have never gotten back to that. Gosh, I want to be back to goal!

    3) I havent worn shorts or a bathing suit since I was around 10-11 years old. Im now 31 and have never really taken my boys swimming or to the beach. I want to have fun with my boys without worrying about clothing attire.

    I would love to wear a pair cute jeans, tank top, and cowboy boots but right now you would not catch me wearing these things.

    moon

    March 2, 2012

    i’m not fitting into 90% of my clothes! And I’m not sticking to my plan even after being successfuk for a few days… So glad I found you Roni- you’re such an inspiration.

    moon

    March 2, 2012

    Argh! Typo- I meant sucessFUL!! sorry

    Lynn

    May 26, 2012

    My big thing is that I want to be able to run faster and further and I know I need to lose weight to do that. So I keep plugging along.

    Cindy Hammerle

    July 2, 2012

    For more than 15 years I have allowed my weight to be a safety net so that I am not attractive to any man and don’t have to run the risk of having my heart broken again. But now, at the weight I am, I am too embarassed with myself to go into a fast food place or out with friends to a bar or restaurant. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Now I am attending my 40th high school reunion. When I was a senior I weighed 95 pounds, was in the running for best figure and was very popular. My weight keeps me from pursuing fun activites I am interested in like wanting to be in a marathon or learning to kayak, even riding my bike. I also feel embarased for my adult children to include me with their friends and activities because getting up out of a chair, standing around a crowd, etc I am the biggest one there. I have broken the toilet seat at work, I have broken an office chair and even my bed mattress is dented in the middle and causing me to have restless sleepless nights. I am working on taking off 80 pounds. I have 20 down and it is a constant struggle with temptations and big stressors. Feel I am in a constant state of saddness and disappointment but only have myself to blame for the way I look and my hangups. Finding encouragement in your blog Roni!