One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

JOURNAL

Wednesday Weigh In: *sigh*

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I’ve promised myself I’d weigh in Wednesday no matter what.

Well this week is a "what."

It’s AMAZING how fast the scale can go up. Do I think I actually gained more than 5lbs of fat in a week?

No.

That’s pretty hard to do even with a chocolate and Chinese food binge. I’m retaining lots of water from eating crap, that probably accounts for half, if not more of the weight increase.

For some reason I gave up food journaling last week. I was in the zone for about 3 weeks and then I just stopped.

That’s when the nibbling picked back up. The extra slice of cheese when I’m making a sandwich. The bites left on Little Guy’s plate when he doesn’t finish dinner. The handful of Doritos from the husband’s bag.

These are the things I struggle with.

I’ve also been in a funk. My back has been bothering me and it’s curbing my gym time. I’ve been tired and cranky and overwhelmed. All things that have me medicating with food.

So here’s the deal.

  1. The scale is what it is. There’s no sense in getting upset about it.
  2. Food journal is back in action. I feel the need for a little structure. It always helps me curb the mindless munching.
  3. Taking a few days off from the gym is not the end of the world. My back needs a break. I need a break. That doesn’t mean I’m getting out of the habit (my fear.)

Feeling better getting all that out of my head.

And this is why I blog. :)



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Discussion

There are 47 comments so far.

    Blondette

    January 25, 2012

    I am right there with you. Exactly – except I journaled the junk I ate – blah. But, we’ll rebound.

    Rose

    January 25, 2012

    When you journal do you count calories or points?? I know you used to count points but not I’m not sure. Also do you use myfitnesspal? It’s awesome.

    Alan Ali

    January 25, 2012

    Water plays such a big role on the scale! You got the right attitude, keep moving forward :)

    Emily

    January 25, 2012

    Deep breath and (as Dory said) just keep swimming. Take a peek at some of your older posts and see what you were doing on the days you were happiest, then do some of that if you can (or modify it for a sore back). Maybe a winter walk with your boys?

    AmandaRunz

    January 25, 2012

    *hugs* I had a week like this last week. You know what to do and that’s why so many people come here and read. Because you don’t sugar coat anything(ironic choice of words), you just tell it how it is. Kudos to you for recognizing your down falls and doing something about them.

    Xoxo

    Amber @skinnypoints

    January 25, 2012

    I totally get where you are coming from! I just blogged last night that I was in a bit of a funk too. I think you’ve recognized it though and that’s awesome!

    Ashley

    January 25, 2012

    SAME here! I dont know how tall you are or what not but i weighed today and i was 160- which i know was the same feeling for me that you are feeling today (based off of what your scale usually says every wednesday- ours are very similar). i have stopped journaling too (on myfitnesspal.com). I know it sounds weird but sometimes i just want to be “normal” and not have to count or think about how many chips or whatever im eating i can or am going to have- i just want to be “normal” and eat until im satisfied. We just have to get out of our funk and remember how awesome we look- and most importantly feel- when we are on top of our game! We can do this.

    Tracy Hansen

    January 25, 2012

    I know this feeling! I tried to run today but my knee is bothering me so I ate a whole box of milk duds. How is that going to help my knee? Now I feel bad about eating. I need to start journaling again or I am going to regain. I need accountability.

    Lethal Astronaut

    January 25, 2012

    Journaling everything sucks. But you have to do it.

    I read an article recently which says that, basically, ex-fatties (which is you – I’m *hoping* to be an ex-fattie soon!) have to watch what they eat much more than people who have never been fat.

    What it means is basically we’re going to have to journal and be diligent for the rest of our lives, if we want to keep off the blubber permanently. It sucks, but that’s the lowdown.

    Here’s the link to the article: The Fat Trap

    Paula

    January 26, 2012

    I have been doing OK for a couple of weeks, except for the Monday with 53 points! Hang in there

    Carman

    January 26, 2012

    Girl….it must be in the AIR!!! I am in a funk myself. I believe journaling is for sure one of the #1 keys to weight loss success- I fought it for years. Good for you for taking some time off from the gym to recover – I just had to do the same thing and making ourselves rest and take time off to recover is one of the hardest things to do. Hang in there girl!! We’re all here for ya! ;)

    That scale will be less next week, I’m sure of it. Keep on truckin’ (or is that trackin’?)

    Mehgann

    January 26, 2012

    I have nerve damage and arthritis in my back, and on top of that, I now have a subluxated tendon in my ankle. So I understand COMPLETELY how it feels to be on this journey and not be able to work out as hard as I would like. One thing that helps me get over it is just being active all day. If I can’t do a proper workout, at least I can keep moving! I just think of myself as the “tortoise” and all those people at the gym are the “hares”. (It may not be true, but it gets me through the day…)

    Valerie

    January 26, 2012

    I’m guilty of letting the scale make me doubt just about everything about myself but then I realize it’s just a number. Things that truly reflect who I am; the hugs from my kids, the smile from my husband, the laughs with my girls, the warm emails from my mom and friends far away, the great projects my students turn in, the thank yous from parents for making their children think, the good grades on projects for my masters program, the workout summary at the end of a hard workout… None of that is reflected by that stupid number on the scale.

    Melisa

    January 26, 2012

    These things happen. And then we move on! Better to catch it when it’s 5 lbs then bury your head in the sand until it adds up to more! Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it’ll be a great one for you :)

    Lynn

    January 26, 2012

    Thank you roni for always keeping it real!

    Laurie

    January 26, 2012

    Long time lurker here!..Don’t forget Roni, you lost all that weight in the beginning without working out. I think you said you wanted to show yourself that you could do it with just changing your diet first. So take a break from the gym (your back is telling you that you need it) and go back to healthy eating. Try Yoga for your back..

    Ya, though I’m weighing once a week, I’m trying to look at things on a 3-week rolling basis – am I going down/up/staying the same? Sometimes it’s so volatile on that day and I don’t want to have to start avoiding certain foods the day before just to make the scale happy.

    Def take a break from the gym & make your next appt now (Tuesday, maybe?) so you know there’s an end to the break and you can enjoy the rest :) Also, one thing you might not have considered – you’re going to the gym more so you are probably upping your consumption, metabolism and perhaps even water intake :)

    Teresa

    January 26, 2012

    This was last week for me but I managed to get it together. Thanks for being so honest in your blog.

    KarenJ

    January 26, 2012

    Hang in there! You’re doing great. All of this is part of the journey. You’ll see it does actually get easier with time. Yes, you’re right that the structure helps. I find that even after 25 years of “watching” my weight that the structure of my days is so important. I don’t know where you live, but this is a tough time of year with less daylight and less ability to be outdoors. Tends to get all of us in a funk. Back on the horse. You’ll feel better after a couple of days!

    Misty @ Life Off the D List!

    January 26, 2012

    Journaling is so key! I have logged every day for the past month and a half and I am finally seeing progress! It all comes back to why do we fight the things that we know work and will help us?!?

    Anne Marie@New Weigh of Life

    January 26, 2012

    Ugh – I can completely relate. Ever since my son started eating “regular” food, I find myself picking at his leftovers. Even though I track, I don’t write down those little bites because they are so little that I think they don’t count…..that is until I see a gain on the scale for the week.

    Tina

    January 26, 2012

    Roni, did you ever think that possibly giving up the journaling might work in your favor? I see that you go back and forth with it, I think that you know by now exactly what your body needs and doesn’t need. I know that emotions play a huge part in that at times, but I think in my experience that “so called” dieting or keeping track always set me up for a binge at some point. Since I gave up counting points, calories etc. I have seen the most progress in my weight, and I also feel more relaxed with food. Just a thought.

    Amanda @FancyOatmeal

    January 26, 2012

    I’ve been in a funk for awhile as well – my food journaling is ZERO! I need to get it back together. I accept where I am and time to move on.

    Lori

    January 26, 2012

    This is why I love your blog – you don’t “hide” when things go bad. You face it & move on – teaching us that even when we get to goal – we’re still going to have times like this. <3 U!

    LisaM

    January 26, 2012

    I weigh on the scale my hubby bought that also measures body fat. I never really get too hung up about it, but the one nice thing to realize is, if my weight is going up, but my body fat percentage is going down, that generally means the weight gain is due to water retention. Even though the increasing poundage bums me out, at least I can beat myself up a little less if I realize it’s due to water!

    ashley

    January 26, 2012

    @Tina I’m interested in how long it has been since you have stopped counting. I agree with what you said ESP when I first stopped tracking consistently everyday for 5mo. I had a bigger loss when I stopped tracking but then a couple lbs creeped back up and I knew it was BC I wasn’t watching portions. But I agree with you I do feel like it sets me up for a binge
    sometimes.

    Alana

    January 26, 2012

    I have been following your blog for almost a year now and this is my first time to comment. In the last year I joined WW online, started running and I have lost 25lbs. But,like you, I got on the scales this morning and I was shocked!!You are right,it goes up so fast! Can I just say how courageous you are to share the pic of the scale??? It blows my mind every time you do it. I think it is so gutsy!! I know following your blog has helped me along my own journery. When we step on the scale there is no way it can accurately measure the sum of all we are to those around us.(i.e. like your ability to inspire others) So let’s look ahead to next week…..

    Andrea

    January 26, 2012

    So sorry to hear that you have been hit by a less than stellar weigh in too. Perhaps the air is just heavy this week ;-) I agree with the yoga recommendations. Having been through multiple sidelining injuries over the course of the last few years, I greatly encourage everyone to incorporate structured stretching into their fitness routines. There are very gentle beginner videos and podcasts out there. I’m sure you could get not-so-Little Guy in on it too.

    Kelly

    January 26, 2012

    January is tough! The holidays are over and winter seems endless. You are an amazing woman and you definitely have the attitude it takes to persevere! As a mom I will tell you that I think you are concentrating your energy on the right things- and by that I mean the things that really matter. My “little guy” is 35 years old. I remember the first time he walked, the first time he went backpacking, the first time he saw the ocean, so many things…but guess what? I have no idea what I weighed on those amazing days when those firsts were happening. Hang in there Roni, you rock!

    TamaraD

    January 26, 2012

    Hang in there!

    sue

    January 26, 2012

    I can only add to the comments about how you help all of us. We are all on a wonderful journey called life and I said it before but will say it again. I am going to be 72 next month so you could easily be my granddaughter,so let me say how proud I am of you for your honesty and if I could I would give you a big hug for being such an amazing person.

    Tina

    January 26, 2012

    @Ashley, I have been working on this for about a year now. It took me until a few months ago to finally let go of all those “diet rules” and habits I had ingrained in me. They still pop up,but I’m in such a better place. I have lost about 7lbs in total in the past few months. I know it’s slow, but I also know that in the past when I lost weight I couldn’t sustain the loss with the way I was eating. Now, I know I can.

    The times that I want to eat when I’m not really hungry are mostly coming from some emotion, once I realize what is bothering me I try my best to deal with that. It’s a fight some days, but I’m so much happier this way. Good luck to you in your journey.

    Jeri Lyn

    January 26, 2012

    Stay strong Roni!! I know how very hard it is. I just started food journaling again after about 3 months off. I think I just planned on stopping for a weekend & then it “snow-balled”!!
    You are braver than me, i’m afraid to get on the scale, but I am journaling & already doing much better & feeling much better.
    Your e-mails help me SO MUCH!!
    BIG HUGS,
    Jeri Lyn

    Tina

    January 26, 2012

    Yay Roni! Journalling is the best. By the way, I’ve been reading your blog since 2006 and I love it. Oh man, doritos sound so good right now. The Valentine’s Day chocolate on display at stores is another constant craving. But enough! I mad a humung-o batch of 0 point chicken broth (very low sodium) and will eat that till I’m full.

    Lisa (sunnystl)

    January 26, 2012

    Hang in there FA!!!! Its the same here, I was asking you about my own funk, and your in a funk! lol I think its the atmosphere.. and the sun exploding or something and send out cosmic rays… lets go with that!! You will be fine, and get back down those 5.. and I hate the scale! :) Just sayin!

    Linda

    January 26, 2012

    Never fear Roni, I am the queen of weighing in after a binge and I have been known to gain an astonishing 10 pounds over nite!! No, it’s not real weight and when I can remember that and not let it discourage me, I can lose about half of it by the next day. Remember, “this too shall pass”. :)

    Mandi

    January 26, 2012

    I am up a few pounds myself…and I am really letting it get to me. Thanks for reminding me to move past it. You are right…I have NOT gained a couple pounds of FAT in a matter of a week!

    Kelly

    January 26, 2012

    Roni – I can completely relate to this. I have been in the exact same cycle – funk and plateau since about August. It is frustrating to cycle the exact same pounds for months! Something will click and you will start losing again. I am getting ready to shake up my diet and routine just to breathe in some new to my routine. I’ve been getting my game face on the last few days and my 90 day challenge starts tomorrow – I’m committing to focus completely on my health for 90 days. I’m kinda jazzed – it’s like a competition/test… with my self :) May the force be with you –
    KM

    s

    January 26, 2012

    just chiming in to say ‘hang in there’! and chinese food makes me retain water like crazy…
    a couple of weeks ago you mentioned you could wear your old jeans again – i wonder if maybe you’ve been building a bit of muscle? in any case, keep on keepin’ on!

    Christina

    January 27, 2012

    hugs, hugs!! It’s such a blow to see the number jump so high in one week. Thanks for sharing your little setback but you always have a great attitude. And sometimes good Chinese food is worth some water retention :) Hope your back feels better soon–that’s not something you want to mess with!

    Kathleen

    January 27, 2012

    Your post said it so very well Roni. Give yourself credit for hopping on there.. posting it.. assessing the situation.. getting your plan of attack together.. and most importantly not beating yourself up over the number. I always love how you do acknowledge how you feel.. i.e. “this sucks”, but then you keep on keeping on and every good choice.. which you have a TON of on a regular basis will make you feel better. Oh the scale.. it’s a love hate relationship for all of us.

    jennifer

    January 27, 2012

    Thank you for sharing! Thank you for your honesty! Thank you for blogging!

    Barbara

    January 28, 2012

    you are in a good mindset. Get back to tracking and I am sure it will come off.

    Jessica

    January 29, 2012

    It’s only a number!! Keep calm and carry on.

    (whispers- i would LOVE to see 160! lol.) I’m going to ask about a light-up scale for V-day! I thought I was’cool’ for going digital…5 years ago. Now I need Indiglo!

    Kristi

    January 31, 2012

    Thank you for being REAL and thank you for sharing your REAL-ness with us. I can so relate. And, of course your right with everything you said – the one thing that really makes the difference is sticking too your plan and knowing the life you want to live – truly live! Cheers to a better meal, a better day and watching them all add up!

    roni

    January 31, 2012

    Tina – THANK YOU… http://ronisweigh.com/2012/01/my-weight-loss-a-ha-moment.html