Do Me Favor. Will ya?

You are very right. I think back to the days I went to the gym and everyone just seemed so focused or were with people they came with that you felt like you risk getting pelted if you approach. Here’s to hoping you get a little interaction going soon! If I went to the same one I’d talk to ya! :)

I always find this extremely difficult to do. I’m a really friendly person when once Im introduced to people, but I have a really hard time just walking up to people and saying Hi.

Do you have any tips for how to go about it? Gym pick-up lines if you will? LOL

Great post! I’ve been trying to think of ways that I can make more friends this year and I think I will have to try this :)

Taking a class has helped that, though it did take several weeks before I would chat with people. Italians don’t socialize that much in the gym from what I’ve seen, especially in the weight room :)

I wrote (on Ms. Adventures in Italy) about a weird experience I had years ago in a gym in Italy – a woman opened up to me out of the blue (while we’re both running on a treadmill) about being anorexic. Not exactly what I was hoping for in forging healthy friendships at the gym!

Ive been at my gym since this past August, and only now am I getting “hellos” from other members. There are one or two people who I see regularly now and have occasional chit chat with before or after class. One woman even called me one of the “regulars” just the other day while we were discussing the New Year crowd. It takes time, for sure. And it does feel lonely. I wish I had a friend to go with, it would be nice to have an accountability partner, but I remind myself that I keep going because it’s good for me, it’s MY time, and I love the classes.

I encountered the same thing when I joined a women’s gym. I’d be on the treadmill and these women would be talking all around me and not include me in the conversation. I’m a very friendly person and will usually be the first one to reach out, but I was not able to make any connections in spite of my efforts. Eventually, I joined a co-ed gym, but I didn’t like working out around men. When I used to do Jazzercise, the women there were always friendly. So I think it’s not you, but some sort of gym phenomenon.

I feel ya. Yesterday was my third class and it sure is awkward to try and start conversation and get nothing in return :( Not sure if people are just so into working out or what the deal it, but it sucks.

I only talked to one person at Golds when I’d go, but at Crossfit? Wow, we meet each other, socialize once in a while and are even friends on Facebook. If I don’t go, they’re posting on my wall asking where I am. It keeps me accountable. lol

This is one reason I don’t like going to group classes unless I go with someone. My friend and I went to a hot yoga class and it was packed but no one talked to us. I’m a friendly person by nature and am chatty. I went to a Zumba class once and the only person that was friendly was the instructor and one lady in the back of the room. It felt like some of the people were sizing me up. It didn’t feel welcoming. So, I never went back. I run or use the elliptical instead. I do speak to the gym employees. I go to the gym with my husband now. We don’t talk at the gym. We go, we work out, we go home…

Great post! I’ve been pretty fortunate that most people at my gym are fairly friendly and I have struck a conversation with a few people. When I first started braving group classes, I went with a friend and that really helped. (I’m super shy and self-conscious so I don’t know that I would have had the courage to go alone.) I tend to have conversations mostly with people in a group class before/after it starts. Since I’m fairly shy, I wish I were better about greeting people and trying to strike up a conversation. Thanks for the reminder.

AWESOME post Roni. I always think you and I would get along if we lived in the same city. I go to a running class and always want to be the person to say “hi” to our group but get shy every time and I just smile instead. As soon as someone says hello to me though, I love it and can chit-chat up a storm!

I’m guilty of this I just go to the gym to zone out. Mostly I just run on the treadmill so I have my headphones on and I really am not a run & talk girl. When I’ve taken a class I used to try and chat up other people but I got nothing, so I became one of those people that just doesn’t chat.It kind of stinks but I’ll give it another try next time.

Roni you just have to move to NYC (or me to MD) so we can take classes together :) easy stuff right! LOL :)

oh yeah.. i had to tag you

http://nomorefatass.blogspot.com/2012/01/ive-been-tagged.html

I love this! I always try to say hi to SOMEONE at the gym. But this morning, I wanted to make heads roll. Ugh, it’s neither here nor there, but some people are just assholes. Even at 6am.

Point being, I love this! and HI!

OK – not trying to be a pain here – but I really don’t want to talk to anyone at the gym! After a full day of work and juggling a hubby and 2 kids under 5, the gym is a place where I can be alone with my thoughts for an hour. A bit of meditation, if you will. Now, this doesn’t mean I won’t say hello or goodbye to others, but I’m not looking to get into extended conversations.

I’m commenting because my point of view is coming from the “other side”. I specifically hate when people try to talk to me at the gym. I am other wise a very friendly, considerate person, but when i am at the gym, I am on a mission, and having “me” time (having 2 kids at home). I do not however do classes, so i might feel different if i was in that group setting. My tactic is walk in the gym with my ipod on.. walk out the door with my ipod on. I am also not really looking to make friends at the gym.. i even have a best friend that is there sometimes while i am, and i even try to avoid standing and talking to much with her. I go for the weight machines, so i need to keep it moving!

These people obviously don’t understand what a big deal you are. Where they featured in an article on Yahoo? Oh, no, that’s right, they weren’t.

interesting…when I go to the gym I admit I tend to be more focused on working out than on socializing…though it may in part that I am a bit shy…though at the same time I do wish I had more “friends” at the gym…so I guess I had better make more of an effort to try chatting! though I DO smile at everyone and say hi to some already, will try harder, never occurred to me others might feel the same way ;-)

I completely understand this. I go with my boyfriend to the gym after work – it’s a good way for us to reconnect at the end of the day. We also push each other to do our best – even on days when we are lacking in the motivation department. Nonetheless, I think that going with another person prevents me from reaching out to new people.
I also think that gender dynamics can affect how people interact at the gym. My gym is heavily male-dominated and I have founds this to be the case at many gyms. (My last gym had a “women’s section,” though.) The physical layout of the gym is also pretty segregated – the women seems to keep to the treadmills and elliptical machines, and the men predominate in the weight-lifting area.

I am a huge extrovert, but when at the gym just to work out, I like to be left to my own devices. However, in the classes, I always make friends and talk to people! I never do the tentative “hi”, though…I always strike up a specific conversation with a group of random people and wait to see who will bite. Someone almost ALWAYS does!

Oh, one more thing…Amy L., I’m DISGUSTED to hear what happened to you, and I hope your next experience is much more positive. We all have to start somewhere…who are they to judge??? Good for you for sticking with it and not letting those mean people win. Reading that broke my heart…what’s the point of being beautiful on the outside when the inside is made of sludge?

OMG, Roni! This post is exactly, exactly the thing I need to have a teaching point with my son. He’s 10, new to this school this year and feels like the whole school is supposed to follow him around dancing and singing with him on their shoulders like High School Musical or something. He often comes home upset and claiming no one is his friend or will talk to him. This will at least show him that that feeling doesn’t go away just cuz you grow up and it will also teach him the importance of speaking up to new folks and sayin’ ‘Hey, my name is Miguel, what’s yours!” When I was in Zumba (and I plan to return), I felt that way too, everyone either had a click somehow but I did speak up and say hello and they answered for the most part. And the thing that even got me in the class was one student that pulled me from the doorway and told me “I know you don’t think you gonna just stand there and watch us work! C’mon in here! It doesn’t matter that you’re in your work clothes, girl. Have FUN!” Her attitude and the class itself is what hooked me.

Keep trying too. Eventually someone will chat back. Hasn’t happened to me in a long time though. Most people stick to themselves or their cliques.

Yeeks – one of the many reasons why I loathe gyms.

I’ve started going to the swimming pool instead, and am finding (once I got over the whole swimsuit issue) that it works well for me.

While my kids are on holidays, I can take them with me – which I can’t do with a gym. And afterwards, once school and kindy are back, I’ll still be able to go by myself.

But yeah, never met anyone friendly at the gym, when I used to go years ago. Weird – you’d think people would walk to chat, but no.

And yeah, if I went to your gym, I’d say hello and chat. But I’m one of the talkers of the world!

Lately, I’ve sort of done a 180 at the gym: Back when I mainly used the elliptical, I tended to stay “plugged in” with my blinders on. More recently though, I’ve become a Zumba fanatic, and going to classes has been good for me socially. For the first time, I’ve started talking to people at the gym–mainly people in class, before and after class, between songs. I’m a big introvert, but for me this has been a positive change!

Based on some of the comments here, talking vs. keeping to oneself may have a lot to do with the activity itself. If you’re using any sort of cardio machine like the elliptical, it’s difficult to have a conversation (which it should be, if you’re really pushing your cardio!), and it makes sense that many people would not welcome intrusion, at least during the activity. I don’t, anyway. In classes, though, even though you’re not talking *during* a Zumba song for instance, there’s plenty of opportunity for socializing–even if one’s preference is just for a “hello” or two–when you’re standing around before class, between songs, and when everyone’s leaving.

I hope to be teaching Zumba classes soon, and this post and its comments were really helpful in showing both sides of this issue!

Bless your heart Roni, for trying to be friendly and social!!

Unfortunately I am very introverted and pretty self conscious, so especially when working out I tend to be pretty reserved and keep to myself. That’s kinda just my personality though. Keep on trucking and I’m sure you will make friends soon! You sure deserve to with your great attitude.

I am not social at the gym or in yoga class. I don’t think I am unfriendly- I just am not that interested in meeting new people in that setting. I guess it’s just my personality. Good for you for reaching out! Keep it up and I am sure you’ll attract other outgoing souls.

You need to come over and do a class with me :) I am more of a chatty time and make a point of talking to the new ones that turn up. Of course it helps that I am in a 7 people group of “group private training” – but by now, a lot of people also just know me from different events and stuff. Never ceases to amaze me, though….. It did take some time, mind you, and I felt rather lonely at first. I just kept coming and talking and in the end it paid off :)

I am a total introvert, but, I work hard to overcome that. When I was in classes at the gym, I would often ‘turn it on’ and become a bit of the class tease, or clown if you will. I would talk back to the trainer, which would engage her and would often get others to relax a bit. I’m there to workout, but I also want it to be fun.

I was always one of those people that was terrified of going to a gym, I had been ridiculed because of my weight all my life and figured it would be even worse in a gym environment. I never experienced that, thank goodness. I actually got more encouragement for making the effort.

I also went out of my way to engage people, saying hello, asking for help using a piece of equipment, or mastering a step in a class. I find people very generous when it comes to helping and is a great way to break the ice. And I would make a point of engaging new people. It can be scary to go to a new gym.

I also think we’re in a time when actually, face to face interaction is difficult for some people. We communicate so much through technology anymore, we don’t always know how to do it in real life.

You have a great personality Roni, just keep putting it out there. People will realize what a wonderful person you are.

Roni,

I have to thank you for this post! I am super shy and NEVER talk to anyone at the gym. Today I went to spin class and the girl next to me was talking to the instructor about how she had not been to class in a while because she had a baby. Now this woman had a ginormous diamond and perfectly manicured hands and I was worried she might be snobby, but being 5 months pregnant myself, I decided to ask her about her baby. She was the nicest woman. I told her I was pregnant and she was so kind and fun. We talked for 30 minutes after class. I do not have many friends and it was really nice to talk to someone. So, THANK YOU:) I never would have reached out to her if it wasn’t for this post.

I sat down to browse (clean up) all the articles that stacked up in Google Reader and you’ll laugh when you see what I read right after this blog:
http://asklaurenfleshman.com/journal/2012/01/18/the-olympic-marathon-trials-and-my-buddy-steph/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AskLaurenFleshman+%28Ask+Lauren+Fleshman%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

One of the distance runners I follow blogged about how she met a very good friend at the gym. =D Thought I would share (even though these two are playing on a different level then the rest of us!)