I’m tracking again. I want these 10 pounds gone before the holiday season hits. I’ve been flirting with the same 1-2 pounds for about 2 months now and I’m done with it. I know I can maintain. I just need to be a bit more diligent in actually creating a deficit for losing.
It’s not that big of deal. I’m not depressed or stressed about it. I don’t NEED to lose this weight at all. I WANT to lose it and that’s a BIG difference.
I weigh what I weighed in High School right now, at this very moment. Of course, my body isn’t exactly the same. I’ve had two kids. I’ve started a running habit. I have more cellulite and stretch marks, but overall it’s pretty much the same.
This is the body I used to think was SO FAT. I was seriously delusional. There is nothing wrong with me and I can see that now I’m 35. The 16 year old version of me wouldn’t hear it. In my mind, I was a fat, disgusting cow unworthy of love.
I can’t stress how different it is to be in a place where you KNOW you are fine just the way you are vs. feeling you MUST lose weight to be complete/perfect/better/whatever. I remember the desperation I used to feel. The idea that everything would just fall in place once all my extra weight was gone.
Now I know better. Life is happening and it’s happening FAST. I don’t have time to put everything on hold UNTIL I’m a size whatever. I have too many things I want to do and experience to wait for my body to be somebody else’s idea of "perfect" which will never happen anyway. I define my perfect, just as you define yours.
These 10 pounds are nothing. They don’t define me or hold my happiness or confidence. They represent NOTHING except the ability to fit back into my favorite pair jeans. (side note: I REALLY miss those jeans!)
Sorry. I felt like I had to get that all out of my head. I know some won’t understand. If I’m fine the way I am, then why lose weight at all? I don’t really have an answer except "because I want to."
Here’s today’s food journal. I thought I’d have fun tracking new and old points side by side just to see how they compare.
|Spinach and Turkey Bacon Omelet Rollup||My new fav breakfast! Click here to see a video of me making it this morning||4||4|
|Container of flavored yogurt||Grabbed on my way to the doctors. Didn’t want to get too hungry before lunch||2||2|
|Poor Man’s Egg "Salad" Sandwich with a side of raw sugar snap peas||So glad I made hard boiled eggs this weekend!||4||4|
|Apple Pie Larabar||There was NO way I was making it until dinner||4||5|
|Sweet Sausage and Vegetables over Bulgur with sugar snap peas instead of green beans.||I also picked while cooking but it was all peppers and sugar snap peas! :)||9||11|
|1 cup frozen wild blueberries, 1/2 cup almond milk + 1/2 scoop protein powder + 1 tbsp dark chocolate Cocoa Powder||This is my Blueberry "ice cream"night time treat. :)||2||3|
|Body Flow class at the gym – LOVE this CLASS! It’s my goal to go at least once a week.|