One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident


Learning to be Flexibly Consistent

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I just completed week 8 of my Half Marathon Training. Just now. Like moments ago!

It’s Monday morning and I was scheduled for an 8 mile run yesterday, but yesterday I just wasn’t feeling it. My legs were still sore from the boot camp class on Saturday, I was tired, and there was no way I could escape both kids long enough to run that distance.

So I set my eyes on today, hoping the baby would cooperate with an early morning feeding and a late morning. He did and I was able to squish the run in before the husband started work. It was my first morning run in a long time and I must say, I miss them. There’s nothing like starting the day with a workout.

Unfortunately, I can’t always do what I want to do. I have other responsibilities, namely 2 kids I have to work around. Instead, I’ve learned to be flexibly consistent–pretty much the opposite of perfect.

For so long not being able to do things perfectly prevented me from doing them at all.

  • When my diet wasn’t perfect I might as well eat everything in sight.
  • If I wasn’t able to go to the gym every day why go at all?

It was crippling.

Now I apply this Flexible Consistency concept to everything.

It’s not what I eat on a date night with hubby (which happened to be 2 margaritas and plateful of enchiladas at Don Pablos on Saturday.) It’s what I eat day in and day out that makes the most impact on the scale.

It’s not that I missed a workout while on vacation. It’s that I continued my training when I got back home.

Being flexibly consistent is a state of mind that has taken me a few years to master. It comes with practice and continual reinforcement that I am able to reach goals in a realistic and imperfect way. I think it started when I realized my diet had to be stateless. There is no on/off mentality anymore, just a string of decisions, all of which own.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. My mind wanders on these runs. :)

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There are 14 comments so far.


    August 22, 2011

    I need to learn how to do this.. I am an all or nothing person at present.. with a 16 month old and a house to paint I have made every excuse to not work out.. and I just like to eat.. EVERYTHING!! Thank you for sharing this! I am going to try and work on it!!! Great job on the training!!!

    Kara Baker

    August 22, 2011

    THANK YOU for this post. It’s just what I needed to hear. I’m definitely an all or nothing kind of girl and it’s not a good mentality.


    August 22, 2011

    I am training for my first marathon. Seriously never thought I would hear those words uttered out of my mouth. You have been a huge inspiration Roni.

    I love having a training plan to follow, but it has to be flexible because my family comes first and my job second. So far so good. I think just allowing myself the option to be flexible eases the pressure. Ultimately I want this experience to be fun and enjoyable. I don’t want it to become a burden on me or my family.

    Congratulations on your 8 miles!


    August 22, 2011

    ” It’s not what you do occasionally that matters, it’s what you do consistently!” -I don’t recall who said this, perhaps Unknown? Unknown is a very wise person! ;)

    Laura of Lauralovinglife

    August 22, 2011

    Thanks for this reminder, Roni. I just went to read your Stateless Dieting post for the first time. You wrote that over a year before I even began this crazy journey. Your concept of the stateless diet has really been what’s kept me going for these 2 years now.

    Yesterday I tweeted my Sensational Sunday lunch, and then followed it up with a ridiculous dinner out to eat with friends… Guinness, couple of wings, Shepherd’s Pie, and chocolate cake. Doh! But I’m back to the grind today, not because it’s Monday, but because it’s just the next chance I have to eat right.


    August 22, 2011

    My mind wanders when I exercise too! I really struggle with this. I am not a very flexible person in so many ways. And the “all or nothing” thinking has been hard for me to overcome with regards to eating. I was just on a road trip and one meal off plan sent me on a major binging bender:( But I’m getting better.


    August 22, 2011

    I so can’t wait to get to that point. People so often think that being a perfectionist means that you’re always perfect. But these are actually the folks who so often live in a filthy house or die of stress diseases because perfectionists are actually thinking “if it can’t be perfect, why try at all,” with disastrous consequences.

    I recognize this mentality in my weight loss struggles all the time. I’m off to read “stateless diet” for some pointers! Thanks!


    August 22, 2011

    Words to live by. I am going to attempt to master this train of thought.

    Jeri Lyn

    August 23, 2011

    Hi Roni,
    Just wanted to be “honest” & let you know my weigh in since you posted yesterday. I hadn’t weighed myself in about 2 weeks so you were my help to get back on the scale. Weight = 152 actually much better than I thought. I ran my marathon on 8/14 in Las Vegas so let’s just say my foods been a little crazy, but i’m trying to remember it’s not all or nothing.
    I think right now i’m just going to try & maintain or if I lose GREAT. I’m beyond stressed right now so I don’t think now is a good time to beat myself up about my weight.
    I’m going to say it to you & I haven’t really said it to anyone, but (i’m tearing up) my dermatologist has confirmed that i’m losing my hair, i’m going bald. Crying now. :( I know this isn’t what your blog is about, but this is what’s happening to me right now. Not sure there’s something much worse that could happen to a woman. It’s also just recently really picked up the pace & i’m afraid I’ll be in a wig or something within a month. OMG!!! I don’t know what to do & it’s eating up pretty much my every thought. I think about it for hours a day. So sorry, to drag on & on, maybe it will help saying (typing) it out.
    Thank you for all you do.


    August 23, 2011

    I think the all-or-nothing mentality is the most destructive concept to changing patterns, building habits, or any other kind of change. I’m glad I managed to get past it, at least with regard to weight and eating.

    Nicole S.

    August 24, 2011

    This is such a huge struggle for me as well. I’m totally an all-or-nothing type person. I have the same issue with eating and exercise. I really need to work on this.

    Nicole S.

    August 24, 2011

    Jeri – i’m actually going through the same exact thing right now and i would never wish it on anyone. It is seriously one of the worst things a woman to have happen to her. I’m hoping to have answers from my doctors next month since this doesn’t run in my family. If not, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

    Kim @ Imperfectly Perfect

    August 24, 2011

    I love this term! I’m going to add it to my vocabulary! If you hadn’t guessed by the name of my blog, I also struggled with either doing things perfectly or not at all. Trying to be perfect really held me back over the years. I’m learning that imperfections really are ok and make our lives uniquely ours (and perfect just as they are). Striving to do the best we can is much better than setting unrealistic goals. “Flexibly Consistent”…Love it!


    August 25, 2011

    This is such a great post. I have struggled with this myself, and as an RD, I have to remind my patients that life is not all or nothing. It is so hard to get out of that mindset when it comes to eating and exercise. It’s nice to see a healthy blogger who knows what that is like. I read a lot of blogs every day, but yours is still my favorite.