One Mom’s Journey from Fat to Skinny to Confident

FOOD JOURNALS

Can You Possibly Know Any More About Me?

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This morning I read a wonderful post by Ryan over at NoMoreBacon called ‘What I Wish More People Knew About Me.’ It made me smile on so many levels.

First, I can’t believe how much I have in common with Ryan. I knew I liked him for a reason. :)

Second, I’m such an open book on the blogs, I’m not sure there is much you guys DON’T know about me.

Third, I’m game. I never miss an opportunity to talk about myself. ;)

Being an inspiration stresses me out TOO. This was Ryan’s first point and I couldn’t agree more. After years of maintaining, I started to fear I was no longer relating to those that still needed to lose. Now that I need/want to lose, I fear that if I don’t get back to my goal weight, I’m a fraud.

I feel not "fat enough" for some and not "skinny enough" for others. This stresses me out, but also reminds me that the most important thing is to be happy with myself.

I ALSO worry about my kids. This goes without saying. We live in a crazy, scary world. Have you ever seen Prelude to a Kiss? There’s a scene when Meg Ryan’s character says she doesn’t want kids because she can’t imagine bringing them into such a broken world. I’ve felt this way. Of course I’m happy I have kids, but I’ve always had a bit of that same pessimistic view.

I ALSO don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! Again, very similar to Ryan. I’m proud of my career and look forward to what’s next. I’m actually making some decisions right now, as I have too many hands in too many pots.

OMG I LOVE going out to the MOVIES! Ryan may be my long lost brother! There is nothing I enjoy more than going to a movie theater. Especially for a great thriller, action, or horror flick. Those are by far the best on the big screen!

I’m spiritual but not religious. Like Ryan, I don’t talk religion much. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school but I don’t practice. To me, spirituality is supposed to be private. I don’t need to go to a church to pray/meditate/reflect/whatever you want to call it.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I can’t hide emotion, just ask the husband. I cry when sad and laugh when happy. I’m simple like that.

I’m wildly forgetful and remember almost everything. I can’t even believe Ryan listed this as I thought I was the only one! There are times I make 3 trips from the car to the house to grab things I forgot: cell phone, purse, jacket. Yet I remember people, comments, lyrics, quotes, conversations, etc. much better. I never really thought about it before, it’s strange to have a good memory yet be forgetful at the same time.

I feel consistently overwhelmed. WHAT am I doing with my life? HOW did I end up with 2 kids? WHY did I leave my job? WAS it the right decision? WHEN will it all just click? WHO AM I?

I could seriously work 24/7. Even though I’m overwhelmed, I love what I do (whatever this is) so much I wish I had more time to do it. I’d post a recipe daily on GreenLiteBites. I’d write a book on weight loss. I’d be more active on BlogToLose. I’d plan 2 conferences a year. I’d take more photos and share more stories. I’d launch more blogs (yes I have ideas!) I’d record more videos. I love everything about blogging. I get all excited when I talk about it and angry I don’t have more time to do it.

I watch America’s Next Top Model. I confess. This is a guilty pleasure for me. I know I shouldn’t, but I’ve always been a bit intrigued by the modeling industry. When I was younger (like preteen) I loved watching runway models. They are so beautiful and confident. It took me a long time to realize it’s their confidence I want, not the super thin physique.

I’m a kid at heart. I could play games and watch cartoons all day. This is why I love having a 6 year old. He’s my "excuse" ;)

I could keep going with these, but I won’t. You are probably already bored IF you made it this far. But I agree with Ryan (again,) writing these posts are always eye-opening to me. I really think the more we learn about ourselves, the more we accept ourselves, the more confident we get. And in my opinion, it’s all about confidence.

Ok, I’ll shut up now. :)

Here’s my food journal today…

Food Notes
Uncle Sam cereal with fresh berries My second favorite breakfast at the moment.
watermelon My go to morning snack at the moment.
"pizza" made on a sandwhich thin with leftover skillet veggies, leftover chicken and 1 oz of cheese I could make "pizza’s" every day! fab lunch!
Light Yogurt I’m obsessed with the yoplaits right now.
3 Dorritos DAMN husband and his snacks.
BBQ Chicken Quesadilla SUCH a fun easy dinner! Check out the video of me and Little Guy making them on GreenLiteBites by clicking here.
Banana Soft-Serve with a handful of cocoa almonds and a dash of dark chocolate OMG.. this is so good. The combination is amazingly decadent! I may do a video on how I make it next week.
Activity
4 mile run today! TOUGH! average about 12/mile and had to walk alot.
Water/Vitamins
Could have done better int he water department. I think that’s one of the reasons the run was hard.


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Discussion

There are 20 comments so far.

    Ryan @NoMoreBacon

    July 27, 2011

    I did make it clear to the end. And how appropriate I was awake to be the first comment on this post. That never happens :)

    Are we long lost siblings? Holy smokes we have a lot in common! What a great list of things for you to share with us! Thank you so much for writing the post!

    RunEatRepeat

    July 27, 2011

    Love this idea and can relate with so much too! Too fat for some, too thin for others and still unhappy with myself – doesn’t make sense.

    Amanda

    July 27, 2011

    O.M.G. My run today was buh-roo-tul. I’m blaming it on the heat. Yuck!

    I found a snack today that was delish! Snyders sea salt & cracked pepper pretzel pieces. So so so good! 140cal for 1/3 cup. They’re spicy, so that’s PLENTY!

    Nikki

    July 27, 2011

    I love “I’m a kid at heart” and having an excuse to play. Seriously, running and skipping, and making silly faces are the simplest, most joyful things and I love being able to do them without being laughed at! Oh yea, and it’s totally given me a reason to be at the pool 4 days a week this summer! Like you’ve previously posted, the kids don’t mind how your bathing suit does/doean’t fit you.

    Karen@WaistingTime

    July 27, 2011

    I’m 48 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Oh, and that part about worrying about our kids… not sure it ever ends:( We just worry about different stuff the older they get.

    Leslie

    July 27, 2011

    Karen stole my thought…I have a 27, 24 and 22 year old “kids” and the worry never goes away. I can also relate to an underlying sense of pessimism about the crazy broken world, not to mention our own government who can’t get their act together for the common good! And one thing for sure, I’m not too thin, but hope to be thinner soon! :)

    Reinaldo

    July 27, 2011

    Hehehe I loved it! I agree with you specially in the “feeling consistently overwhelmed” thing. I mean, we’re over 30, aren’t we suppose to have it figured out by now?? :$

    Michelle

    July 27, 2011

    You are one of my favorite blogs because you are so open. I have to remember that we don’t know each other and are not really friends sometimes LoL. Although, have a secert wish to run into you somewhere since we live so close to each other, just so I can feel like I have actually “met” you.

    KCLAnderson (Karen)

    July 27, 2011

    I feel not “fat enough” for some and not “skinny enough” for others.

    OMG!! Me too!! I may have to use this when I do my “getting to know me” post!

    Agnes

    July 27, 2011

    Love it! Thanks for sharing Roni! I always enjoy reading about you.

    Paula

    July 27, 2011

    I love this post. Feels like I was reading my own thoughts. You’re awesome, Roni!

    Roz

    July 27, 2011

    HI Roni, omg…love this post!!!! It is wonderful to get to know more about some of my favorite bloggers, and also realize how much we have in common! Thanks for sharing YOU with us!!! Have a wonderful day. (now I’m off to figure out what I want to do when I grow up! :) )

    Crystal

    July 27, 2011

    No matter how much you weigh, whether you’re losing or maintaining, you’re always an inspiration to me. You’re such a real person, and I love that you’re not “perfect” (I mean this in a complimentary way). Also, I hope if/when I have kids someday I can have the attitude you have about life. You’re such a good role model!

    Jeremy Logsdon

    July 27, 2011

    Glad to know I’m not the only one who sometimes has to make three trips back into the house to have everything ready to go. :)

    Kenlie @ All The Weigh

    July 27, 2011

    I think you’re absolutely perfect the way you are…you’re inspirational to me on many levels……and I don’t see that changing…ever..

    Alison

    July 27, 2011

    You can stop at 3 dorritos? How do you do that?

    And the notion of being a fraud is silly, that is what we like about you. You are real.istic.

    I agree with everything Kenlie just said…. You are perfect just the way you are.

    Jeff

    July 27, 2011

    It´s the first time I read your blog and I agree with you in a lot of things. For example, I´m 49 and I don´t know what I want to be when I grow up, people like Karen@WaistingTime and you help me understand better my own world

    Mary Nell

    July 27, 2011

    What inspires me isn’t your size–it is your appetite for life! It reminds me to get up and be active with my kids every day and to treasure every moment. And I love Greenlitebites because it reminds me that it just isn’t THAT difficult to fix healthier food :).

    Scott

    July 28, 2011

    Wow, you whipped this post up fast.

    I was talking to a mentor of mine explaining who I am and how I felt.

    He said, “I have good news & bed news. The bad news is you are a normal person, the good news is you are a normal person.”

    Reading your post & Ryan’s post reinforces that. I could say ditto to both of you.

    Forgetful, but remember everything, check.
    Privately Spiritual/Religious, but not blogging about it, check.
    Don’t know what to do when I grow up, check.
    Parenting worries, check.

    Cheers and talk soon.

    Tanya

    August 4, 2011

    A man at a WW meeting asked me, ” What are YOU doing at a Chubby Checker meeting?”. I was overwhelmed by his question. Although I appreciated being recognized for my weight loss accomplishments, I then felt very self-c0nscious, Did other people think the same way? I politely told the man “Believe me, I NEED to be here!!”

    Thank you, as always, for sharing. We too have too much in common!!